Dating and Personals Books

This book is most useful to women that are asking the following questions: Will personal ads work for me? How do I use them, and what are the logistics? Can you give examples of the types of men I can meet?

The author had great success with personal ads, and shares her enthusiasm. She describes numerous reasons why this method is the best and safest way to meet good men. Much of the book is spent describing the logistics of ads: how to place them, what to say, how to take notes when listening to responses, and how to meet people. If you are a bit nervous about the process, this will be useful information. If you have ever placed an ad and met one of your callers in person, you already know most of the material in this book.

A huge portion of the book is spent on how to screen large numbers of prospects. Women that place ads often receive 50 responses a week in the early stages. This demands a heavy screening process, since nobody has time to meet 50 people a week. Men that read this book will have to read these sections with a grain of salt, since 5 responses a week is more typical for them.

This book should be evaulated by what the author is teaching, rather than evaluating the author herself. But this (male) reader can't help be offended by many of the things the author says. She appears to be quite materialistic, and it takes some care to not be immediately turned off by the first chapter where she describes how she divorced her husband because his career wasn't doing well. Apparently he switched careers, resulting in a lower income and the need to sell their mansion on the beach:

"I felt that, to save my children and myself from certain financial ruin, I would have to take action. It was all up to me. When our home sold, I filed for divorce."

Men are also likely to be offended by her suggestion that women lie. For example, if you don't want a man to call, them them you are on vacation for 4 weeks.

The author also suggests that for first meetings, make the man do all the driving. Meet him at a place that is within 10 minutes of your home, so minimize the time you need to commit. She explains how she once violated her own rule. One man lived an hour's drive away, so they picked a place half way:

"My candidate was a tremendous disappointment! He was not only overweight, but he had a look that I could never find attractive. Our conversation was strained, to say the least. I politely pushed the date to an early conclusion and drove the half-hour back to my home. This little adventure took nearly two hours of my time. Then and there, I resolved never again to make an exception to my policy of meeting close to home -- no matter how good the prospect sounded on the phone!"

Another suggestion/example from the book:

"Since your callers have to leave their phone numbers for you to call them back, it's easy to go to a cross directory and look up their address. I discovered that the lawyer lived in a very small condo on a noisy, busy street -- not a desirable or valuable location at all. Right or wrong, I decided this was not a man I cared to meet. For all I knew, he might have a huge savings hidden away in mutual funds, but I drew my own conclusion."

These nits aside, this is a good book for women that have never placed a personal ad, but might be interested