Family Resources Books

Written by professional marriage and family therapists Kenneth and Janice Dimick, Child Custody: Achieving A Parenting Partnership is a practical, helpful and straightforward guide written for the non-specialist general reader who is going through the difficulties of a divorce where there are children involved. The focus is upon the American legal divorce system and how the standard proceedings tend to leave mothers without sufficient funds and fathers without sufficient access to their children. Child Custody explores methods by which parenting partnership can be achieved, allowing a couple to work together to raise children even though they no longer live together. Child Custody is very highly recommended, essential reading for anyone contemplating our caught up in a divorce action with child custody issues and concerns.

This book provides an incredible amount of information and guidance for non-custodial parents, but can be really useful to just about anyone who deals with this issue professionally or personally. From the clear translation of the myriad acronyms associated with the laws and other aspects of managing child support, to the sage advice on how to keep things in order, to the incredible stories of real people who have overcome incredible obstacles in their own cases, this is a remarkable resource. There is even a glossary and directory in the back! Marty Vaughn couldn't have created a more timely or useful resource than this one. I've never read a more accesible book on such a complicated topic. When you consider the cost of paying (or worse - overpaying) child support, this is a small price to pay for such a comprehensive resource. No NCP should be without a copy.

Chapter One: "Psychodynamic Marriage Counseling" Chapter Two: "Teaching Couples to Fall in Love" Chapter Three: "Foundational Understandings in Marriage Counseling" Chapter Four: "Couple Communication" Chapter Five: "Relationship Development" Chapter Six: "Christian PREP: An Empirically Based Model for Marital and Premarital Intervention" Chapter Seven: "Marriage Counseling: A Brief Strategic Approach to Promote Love, Faith, and Work" Chapter Eight: "Marital Counseling: A Christian Integrative Approach" Chapter Nine: "Exploring Christian Marriage Counseling"

Exactly ninety-nine years prior to the date of my own birth, Stephen Tyng delivered a series of addresses to the School of Theology in Boston University. He had been in pastoral ministry for over fifty years at the time. This book of 109 pages, reprinted for our benefit by Solid Ground Christian Books, is the product of those addresses.

The content of the lectures works itself out like this:
(1) The personal object of the pastor.
(2) The qualifications required for the Christian pastor.
(3) The instruments to be employed for the pastor's work.
(4) The agencies and opportunities prepared for the pastor.
(5) The elements of power and attainments of the pastor.

Now, given the vocabulary employed in that table of contents, you may not think the book will have punch. In fact, by page three, I had my own doubts when Tyng wrote the following sentence:

"To give some aspect of form to utterances which would be likely to become too desultory and heterogeneous without some scheme proposed, I shall proceed to speak of..."

Huh?

However, once he got past the formal introduction, Tyng turned on the wit, passion, and pastoral warmth found throughout the remainder of the book.

Tyng would find great camaraderie with contemporary pastors like C.J. Mahaney, for he continually refers the pastor to consider the ministry in terms of being Christ-centered and Christ-glorifying. Christ-glorifying.
He says: "Our mission has this twofold object always in view: to glorify this exalted Savior, and to lead the souls of sinful men gratefully to receive, then accept, and to live in Him, and for Him - the honor of Jesus and the salvation of men."

Time and again, Tyng pleads with pastors to be concerned about what God thinks of our ministry, rather than giving any thought to the opinion of men.

"You are to speak to all, not according to the wisdom of men, nor in the words which man's wisdom teacheth, but according to the wisdom of God, in words which the Holy Ghost teacheth. The question, `What is popular?' can never be allowed by us. Our demand is, `What is true? You can not forget that God often chooses the weak things of the world to confound those which are mighty. And he will never fail, in his own way, to prosper the fidelity of his servants, or to honor the faithful ministration of his own Word. You may meet with painful rejections of your message, and with great trials of your fidelity. But Jesus will always honor those who truly honor him."

He recognizes that when we plead with men on behalf of the gospel of the cross, we are to be very aware of our own insufficiency apart from the grace of God.

"We never get deeper convictions of personal sin than in our attempts to console and guide others in their hours of darkness and guilt. We are never more truly or effectually made the `sons of consolation' to them than when we are secretly weeping, in the bitterness of our own souls, over past personal transgressions, of which they have no consciousness or knowledge; `comforting others by the consolations wherewith we are comforted of God."

The book is stuffed full of personal anecdotes, often involving people on their deathbed. A humorous one is related to instruct ministers to be mindful of personal manners:

"A minister in commencing his public prayer in a highly furnished pulpit, in my sight, took out of his mouth a large piece of tobacco, and laid it down upon the marble slab which finished the desk, and when his prayer was finished deliberately put it into his mouth again."

On the other hand, Tyng thought ministers should be strong men, given to hard work and real, authentic masculinity, without affectation.
"There is sometimes an assumed separation, an apparent, studied, professional holiness, in the aspect and manners of a minister, which repels and disgusts."

Tyng paints a picture of what young pastors should aspire to be:

"Many such men have I seen, and traced from youth to age in the ministry of Christ. Their fidelity to him was open and undeniable. They were men of prayer, men of experience, men of holiness, men of high and controlling motives. They knew and they taught his Word. They carried with them his example and his influence. They were honored with a peaceful and fruitful ministry. The ear that heart them, blessed them The eye that saw them, bore witness to them. Their power was undeniable, and everywhere acknowledged. It was not the influence of popularity, as public performers, nor the acknowledgment of superior intellect or of literary attainment. It was the commanding power of undeniable holiness, disinterestedness, tenderness, pureness, and love. They were universally believed to be right; their judgments stood like a rock; their words, their instructions, were received as unquestionable and undisputed truth."

While I have several excellent books on Christian ministry written in the 19th century, because of the brevity and punch of Tyng's work, I would heartily recommend this book as a tool for young pastors to read. I read through it for my after-church service "Sunday night reading", bringing to my own mind a lot of encouragement and instruction in Christ-centered pastoral ministry.

In State Of Becoming: From Contention To Collaboration by Norma Cook Everist (Professor of Church Administration and Educational Ministry at Wartburg Theological Seminary in Dubuque, Iowa) is a seminal and thoroughly "reader friendly" study on the issues and dealings of conflict within church. Informatively engaging readers from first page to last, In State Of Becoming deftly covers commonly controversial issues affecting the church and effective, practical, and tactics with which to avoid, ameliorate, or positively assist in resolving disputative issues for the betterment of the churches larger interests. In State Of Becoming is very highly recommended to the clergy and laity of the Christian congregation for the coordination and progression of the church through its many likely and inevitable controversies.

Having noticed and become more familiar with symptoms and failures of ADHD, it is helpful for how often these factors show up in society. For example, the "enigma" of Bill Clinton may be confusing to many, but may be a result of the class symptoms of many of the characteristics of ADHD undiagnosed persons whose spouses often compensate for them in many situations and circumstances. This can be seen in many cases where she "spoke for him," in interviews, for example, to explain what he meant, or to clarify his views, specifically in the 1995 interview about Flowers when he said "he had caused pain in his marriage." Reviewing the many complaints or observations of his staff about his personality suggests that he was indeed not only brilliant, but also suffered the effects of ADHD that had never been diagnosed, and should be looked at with what we are beginning to learn about adults with undiagnosed ADHD. All signs point to this problem and may explain much of his approach and his behavior, especially the desire to do everything at once, and to jump around from thing to thing. The extent of the effects of childhood trauma and the possibility of undiagnosed ADHD together make for a very interesting analysis of this complicated person, and how his family and friends deal with, or cover for him, in many situations. Hillary has classic characteristics of many of the compensating ADHD behaviors that unwittingly spouses fall into using to cope with their ADHD mates over time.

This book contains a concise overview of Cognitive Therapy for couples with detailed descriptions of assessments and therapy procedures. In addition to providing a clear outline of the structure and course of therapy, Dattilo and Pedesky provide excellent strategies for identifying and changing beliefs that often interfere with the therapeutic process.

Cognitive Therapy With Couples is an excellent resource for mental health professionals of all therapeutic modalities working with couples in distress. Its clear and concise style makes it accessible to all therapists interested in learning to apply the cognitive model to couples therapy.
--- excerptfrom book's Foreword by Aaron T. Beck, MD.

I have found this book to be a crucial practical biblically-based guide for family ministry in the church and in the community. The book begins with tuning in to the felt needs of people, and then provides wise realistic guidance in steps that establish goals and objectives and tasks,leads one sensitively through the process of changing, and offers specific steps for establishing a solid ministry to the various persons and families now and in the future. We have used this book as a major text in the doctoral level course we teach each year at Eastern Seminary, "The Church as Context for Ministry to Marriage and Family." Without exception the pastors in the class have read this book with enthusiasm and have found practical counsel and plans for implementing marriage and family ministry in their churches!

Chapter One: "Beyond African American Male Hierarchical Leadership" Chapter Two: "Male and Female, God Created Them to Be Whole" Chapter Three: "The Context of African American Families" Chapter Four: "A Transgenerational View" Chapter Five: "The Horizontal Context: The Life Cycle" Chapter Six: "A Model of Joining, Assessment, and Intervention" Chapter Seven: "Sexual Dysfunction in Marriage" Chapter Eight: "Marital Therapy and an Extramarital Affair" Chapter Nine: "Abuse and Pastoral Counseling"

Access to gambling has never been greater. Internet gambling, the poker explosion, most states running lotteries is just some of the new temptations that lead some to serious gambling addiction. Treatment of problem gamblers has had a low success rate.

Joseph W Ciarrocchi has put in one book clinical wisdom and research into a treatment package aimed at developing the skills for successful recovery.

Covered in this manual:

Step-by-step treatment plans
Diagnostic instruments developed by the author
Focus on specific cultural concerns, with clinical applications for women, minorities, and religiously committed persons
Integration of spirituality in treatment
Coping strategies for family members

This is the book for counselors dealing with these very serious problems.