Death Care Books

Barry Neil Kaufman has written many inspirational and moving books and this one is no exception. In this one, he provides readers with descriptions of his life with his father and how he would later apply Option approaches in his own life. I just love this book.

It is about moving mountains; building bridges; inspiring hope and reinforcing joy. This book is like a beautiful sunrise - bright, new, fresh and hopeful. It might even make you cry. It makes me think of Mike & the Mechanics' 1989 hit "The Living Years" which is about a father and son who initially don't see eye to eye. This book is about how a father and son converted a strained relationship into an openly loving one. As a father, Barry Neil Kaufman is, from all accounts an extremely loving person. That comes through in his writings and in the things his family says.

This book generates new hope of the possibilities and options available in restoring and repairing relationships. The entire tone of the book is gentle and positive. If you are looking for a good place to take away some life lessons, then this book is for you.

No Regrets is Barry Neil Kaufman's best book yet. It not only tells the story of he and his father, it is full of Option life lessons. I love it. An inspiring story of the transformation of a once distant and difficult relationship into a warm and loving bond between an adult son and his father. Struggle and discord are replaced with openness, kindness and ease. No Regrets teaches by example and thoughtful reflection the possibility of building bridges and deepening relationships which might have once seemed impossible. In his embrace of core positive and powerful beliefs, Barry Neil Kaufman truly imparts remarkable life lessons that are a fabulous gift to us all.

No Regrets has moved me in so many ways. I loved being part of Barry Neil Kaufman's experience, through this book, as he reconciled with his estranged father at the announcement of his dad's terminal illness. I really appreciate how he turns challenges into opportunities, how he models that one can change beliefs in an instant, and how and why to give control to our aging, ill, or dying parents.

I'm so glad I read this book before I have to face the same experience. Now I know I'll be with my parents in a way that is honoring to them, honoring to me, and I know that it will be an opportunity to deepen our relationship. But why wait? I'll put these principles to work right now.

I highly recommend this book.

This books emphasizes the opportunities presented when the challenge of facing the death of a loved one knocks at your door. Instead of focusing on the need to grieve, the Author explores the beautiful relationship that can develope in the final years, months, weeks or days between family members that can serve to heal the wounds of life. This book is a must for anyone who is either approaching or going through the illness or death of a loved one. I will recommend it to every single person close to me as a must read!

Tim Brookes offers a well written, engaging account of the dying and death process. My father was diagnosed with a brain tumor a few weeks ago and a dear friend put this book in my hands. It is a tribute to life and dignity in dying. As I write this we are still in the middle of searching for treatment and I find the words of this book comforting and a guide of sorts to the process of living, essentially with a death sentence. The author shines a light on a process we are all engaged in, as we all eventually face the dying process. This book would be helpful for family members as well as professionls...and not only those dealing with cancer.

My beloved father passed away on March 3, 2005 after living for 2 years with Stage IV lung cancer. I was his caretaker for the last 6 weeks of his life whe I moved to New York to care for him. This book is a beautiful heartfelt story of the author's experience with his own's mother's illness and death. I found it to be very cathartic and appreciated the beauty of his words. i even found things within to adapt when writing my dad's eulogy. If only i could write so well to write something beautiful for my father. Thank you Tim Brookes, bless your family and your mother, may she live though you all who loved her so. Lori

When my grandmother was diagnosed terminally ill(suffering from COPD), the family chose hospice care instead of a nursing home. I went to the library to get a book on hospice and this is the book that carried me through the heartbreaking yet beautiful last week of my beloved Nany's life. I know that every dying experience is different, but there were similarities between the author's mother and my grandmother's. It gave me great comfort to read Mr. Brookes words as I sat beside my grandmother's bedside. Many thanks for putting into words what my family and I were observing and feeling.

Tim Brookes very eloquently voiced some of my own thoughts, feelings and struggles as I experienced my mother's death from cancer 2 months ago. It is a time of great intimacy and discovery about the very meaning of life. Our culture's beliefs and fears around death are interwoven with his very personal story, which he shares with great poignancy. This book is NOT a downer but a tribute to life. It is HIGHLY recommended for everyone, as death is a part of everyone's life

WHAT AN AWESOME VET. DR. ORZECK IS. WE HAD THE PRIVIDLEGE TO KNOW HIM AS OUR VET. WHEN WE LIVED IN THE GENEVA, N.Y.-OVID AREA..

DR. ORZECK..KEEP WRITING..YOU HAVE SO MUCH WISDOM AND GODLY KNOWLEDGE
OF ANIMALS..A GOD GIVING TALENT..
GOD BLESS!
REV. GAIL CAMPBELL/DD

Dr. Orzeck addresses some difficult issues in euthansia with a sense of wonderment and love towards animals. The book brings both tears and joy as "Doc" describes many of the creatures that he has enjoyed in life and grieved in death. As a veterinarian, he has illuminated one of the hardest chores an animal doctor has to perform with both compassion and sensitivity. I highly recommend this book to anyone who loves animals, anyone who aspires to be a veterinarian or anyone who has recently lost a pet.

A wonderful book examining pet loss from multiple perspectives as observed by a humble country veterinarian.Through his career as a farmer, student, and professional caregiver, the pain of losing a loved one remains constant. Dr. Orzeck shares personal tragedies, as well as those of his friends and colleagues. A touching portrayal of the pain we all endure when a beloved pet is lost, regardless of species or circumstances.

A must read for anyone who shares his or her life with a pet, or has loved and lost a pet.

From his dedication page to his closing sentence, Dr. Orzeck will captivate the reader with his endless empathy and anguish of dealing with the death of animals. Written with candor, this gentle and compassionate country vet tells of unforgettable animals. These are animals he must enthanize due to old age, trauma, illness, and owner neglect and selfishness. Each animal's story will leave you deeply touched; you feel the doctor's own heartbreak and pain at the loss of each innocent life.

In our lives we get prepared for many life changing events: birth, marriage, job change, but when it comes to death, most people try to avoid thinking about it. It is ironic, since death is inevitable and we all should anticipate it in some way and do the best that we can to prepare for it. The advantage of old age and terminal illness allows us just that - to prepare to exit this world in a manner accepable to us and the ones closest to us. That includes funeral planning, decision making about medical and/or palliative care (living will), decision making about the persons in our lives who can make a decisions for us in case we get mentally incapacitated where we cannot make all of those decisions ourselves (power of attorney), decision making about organ donation and body donation, preparing will (testament), final readings and prayers as well as music and preachers at the day of the funeral. This book really covers it all. What I found most amazing is that although wirtten by a hospital chaplan, this book appears to be more secular than theological. I was pleased to find that author talks about difficult subjects such as: phases of dying, phases of grief, difference between hospice, death in highly technical medical institution, euthanasia and suicide. I was pleased to learn that there is a clergyman who explains that sickness and terminal illness are not consequence of God's punishment, but outcome of our individual lives that get ravaged by stress, bad eating, smoking, lack of exercise. All those factors combined, result in various deaths for various people but are not God's punishment by any means. I do think thta author misunderstands Elizabeth Kubler Ross' notion of 5 stages of death as something that has to happen in a specific order and in synch between a dying person and their family. Ms. Kubless-Ross never said that we all go thru all five stages of death much less than those are in synch with people around us. On the contrary, she said that the tragedy of death is the disconect between how the dying person feel and how the grieving family feels. Mr. Meyer is deeply spiritual, caring and thoughtful about the subject of dying. This book will not cover much on the subject of dying children or subject of explaining to children about death. But the point Mr. Meyer is trying to make is be direct and straightforward. Euphemisms about death can anly create unwanted fear while being frank and open about it will make it more accepting to all involved in the process. I highly recommend this book for both terminally ill and their grieving family. I did learn from this book about five stages of grieving process that I was not aware of before.

(Chuck Meyer also wrote about the Bubba the Texas Angel) In his passing we all are regretful. He was an Episcopal Minister & Chaplain at St David's Hospital in Austin,Texas. He was a major factor in the medical community's understanding of these issues, as well as the lay public & he had a huge impact on the growth of the hospice community. His skill in helping us understand the reality of living & dying was unsurpassed. His own losses were great having lost 2 wives, & many friends. When christians want to know what grace is, that would be the spirit that Chuck Meyer embodied & shared in this book.

As a caregiver in a geriatric/skilled nursing facility, I have found this book to be very helpful in assisting the families of dying patients. Charles Meyer has written an honest, open view of both the dying process, and 'how and why' we feel the way we do. I highly recommend this book to those in the medical and social service professions.

As a geriatric care manager and a grief counselor, this is the best book written on putting your life together after the death of a loved one. Written by a priest who was the chaplain in an oncology ward for years, it pulls no punches. Meyer examines myths about dying, inaccurate Biblical quotes about death, taboos, cultural misconceptions about the grief process, and the change of status that accompanies widowhood. This is a gentle, readable book that encourages the survivor on to a different perspective on life, and acceptance of a new lifestyle.

The Mom's Choice Awards® honors excellence in family-friendly media, products and services. An esteemed panel of judges includes education, media and other experts as well as parents, children, librarians, performing artists, producers, medical and business professionals, authors, scientists and others. A sampling of the panel members includes: Dr. Twila C. Liggett, Ten-time Emmy-winner, professor and founder of Reading Rainbow; Julie Aigner-Clark, Creator of Baby Einstein and The Safe Side Project; Jodee Blanco, New York Times Best-Selling Author; LeAnn Thieman, Motivational speaker and coauthor of seven Chicken Soup For The Soul books; Tara Paterson, Certified Parent Coach, and founder of The Just For Mom Foundation(tm) and the Mom's Choice Awards®. Parents and educators look for the Mom's Choice Awards® seal in selecting quality materials and products for children and families. This book has been honored by this distinguished award.

Before being diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease, Janet Mary Sinke dedicated her life to helping other people through her career in hospice nursing.

Most people would consider hospice nursing the most depressing kind of work. When asked how she could deal with it-caring for the dying-Janet said, "It is a very sacred time in a patient's life. It's a privilege to be part of that intimate circle that touches someone as they prepare to leave this world."

She continues, "Each life is deserving of respect and worthy of love - teaching important lessons about the need for hope, love, reconciliation and forgiveness. Each life has the power to make a difference even in the end. As a result, the dying process can hold some of the most beautiful moments in a person's life."

Sinke, draws on her experiences as a hospice nurse in writing this collection of gentle reflections.

Her ten lessons focus on the importance of Tears, Vulnerability, Forgiveness, Inner Peace, Affection, Celebration, Humor, Kindness, Fun and Remembrance.

They address the peace of surrender. The power of forgiveness. The miracle of grace. Sinke chooses the story of a former patient to illustrate each point.

Sinke speaks of her own illness and the ways it which it has enriched her life. She talks of the angels in our lives-the helping hand, the caring touch, the soothing voice-and exhorts readers to be of service wherever, whenever they can.

In beautiful, lyrical language, this is a treasure of a book-a slender little volume that serves to comfort the spirit and heal the heart.

I was so touched by this book, I purchased several copies for friends and family. I've received several written accounts of how this little book is touching lives. Don't miss this one!

This book from author Janet Sinke is quite a departure from the Grandma and Me picture books she writes for children. The real life stories she shares are truly lessons in life we can all learn from. Some make you laugh, some make you cry.

Before being diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease, Janet Mary Sinke dedicated her life to helping other people through her career in hospice nursing.

Most people would consider hospice nursing the most depressing kind of work. When asked how she could deal with it-caring for the dying-Janet said, "It is a very sacred time in a patient's life. It's a privilege to be part of that intimate circle that touches someone as they prepare to leave this world."

She continues, "Each life is deserving of respect and worthy of love - teaching important lessons about the need for hope, love, reconciliation and forgiveness. Each life has the power to make a difference even in the end. As a result, the dying process can hold some of the most beautiful moments in a person's life."

Sinke, draws on her experiences as a hospice nurse in writing this collection of gentle reflections.

Her ten lessons focus on the importance of Tears, Vulnerability, Forgiveness, Inner Peace, Affection, Celebration, Humor, Kindness, Fun and Remembrance.

They address the peace of surrender. The power of forgiveness. The miracle of grace. Sinke chooses the story of a former patient to illustrate each point.

Sinke speaks of her own illness and the ways it which it has enriched her life. She talks of the angels in our lives-the helping hand, the caring touch, the soothing voice-and exhorts readers to be of service wherever, whenever they can.

In beautiful, lyrical language, this is a treasure of a book-a slender little volume that serves to comfort the spirit and heal the heart.

I was so touched by this book, I purchased several copies for friends and family. I've received several written accounts of how this little book is touching lives. Don't miss this one!

Great book not only for children but all ages! This book looks at the loss of a loved on in a new light! Beautifully written and illustrated!

A great book for not only children but people of all ages! That Place looks at the loss of a loved one in a new light! Beatifully written and illustrated!

To read this book is to be soothed by words and images that waft across the pages like a soft, summer breeze. The gently rendered watercolor illustrations calm the eyes and the poetic text eases the brain. With this meditation on grieving the loss of a loved one, author KD Larson explores how such a loss affects a person, to the extreme of changing their outlook on life and confusing their very identity. She explores unanswered questions about the afterlife, inspired by some the writings of Albert Einstein, explaining the power of love to heal and how it endures - even after we've left our physical bodies. Larson gives much credence to the comfort of nature and its healing powers: how the weather and the changing of the seasons heightens our senses; the majesty of the sun, the moon and the heavens; how we can lose our cares in the flowing water of a stream. Yes, nature's beauty is a good place to seek solace and to explore feelings about death and the Great Beyond. This book captures that notion with elegant grace, and leaves the reader renewed and inspired.

When I read it it really touched my heart and I wanted you to know that I believe this book will help many people who have suffered a loss, I know it helped me.

This book has taught me to experience the words that may have never been spoken if I had not of encountered Kubler~Ross through her work with the dying. We have a need to thank her for the journey she took ....

Kubler Ross- got this book right. The many telling photographs intermixed with very personal accounts of the dying and their family and friends makes for a moving and compelling journey into the emotions, experiences, challenges, disappointments of the dying.
The right balance between peronsal narratives, the authors commentary and photographs was achieved in this book- a feat most books on death and dying do not. Couple this book with Donald Heinzs book The Last Passage and as a friend, relative or caretaker of the dying youll have insight and knowledge into the world of the dying and some insights on what to do when someone you care about is dying.

Reading a book about confrontations with death and dying by the terminal ill and by their families and loved ones may not sound like anyone's idea of "escapist fare" or a good rainy day pick-me-up, but this large picture book is first and foremost about the value of life and living. Undoubtedly one of the most "important" books I have read, To Live Until We Say Good-Bye spotlights three personal stories: a New York City poet and model dying of cancer, a young girl suffering with a brain tumor, and an older woman who refuses treatment of her illness to lead the remainder of her life in her own home. The stories are remarkable because there is a touching sense of revelation to each--that none of them had perhaps lived so fully and completely until they learned time was running out. The young girl's story, "Jamie," is especially moving because it not only deals with her concerns and fears about her future, but also those of her single mother and her young brother--and, ultimately, although the process of losing a loved one is unimaginably painful, the family is able to find some peace in their ability to make the final days meaningful--and full of life. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross narrates the stories, and Mal Warshaw provides the photographs; together, they have assembled an unpretentious and dignified lesson about seeking the value in life--surely, a message that is beneficial to and yet overlooked very often by us all

The book, To Live Until We Say Good-Bye, is not your common book on dying and grief or even the medical psychology of it, as is quite internationally acknowledged with many of Kubler-Ross's previous works, i.e. On Death and Dying and On Children and Death, et cetera. Rather, out of all of her works (Kubler-Ross), I would have to say that this one is the most accessible and the most outright, in-your-face emotional, the one that really tugs at the heartstrings. But it is a work that does so in a positive, open and meaningful way. Medical and psychiatric jargon is totally set aside and the four dying patients-for whom this book is about-Beth, Jamie, Louise and Jack, are allowed to come to the forefront, to have their stories and experiences related to those (the readers) who are living or could possible be dying themselves. Accompanied by the well written text of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and the varied contributors are the affecting black and white photographs by Mal Warshaw, photos taken of the very subjects in their assorted states in the dying process. Nothing is held back in respects to the people who are profiled-the good, the bad and the ugly-yet dignity unequivocally pervades. In this book, we meet a former model (Beth), who to the very end, clung to her physical beauty as her paramount asset. However, her written poetry illustrated her articulate and intelligent substance that went way beyond looks: "Voices whispering, Beth, Beth/You can no longer stay/Hand reaching out to grasp/Helping me on my way./I'll no longer ache with sorrow/No longer feel this pain/So adieu and fare thee well now/I shan't see thee again. (P. 37). Also, we meet 71-year-old Jack, a former construction worker and rebounding alcoholic who sadly, lived to see his son die of lung cancer. But he found redemption and purpose by building doll houses for charity while as a patient at St. Rose's Home, run by the Hawthorne Dominicans in New york City. Through the series of photographs, his religious and psychological evolution becomes clearly evident, and it is a humbling and beautiful thing to see. And it is so for all those profiled, especially for Jamie and Louise, the other two patients who become are teachers. And their chapters are equally moving and powerful, if not more so. There too is an in-depth chapter on the fantastic work done by hospice and the heroics of everyday volunteers, people young and old who do not give "all" of themselves in order to give the best of themselves. All in all, To Live Until We Say Good-Bye is another great work that looks at life's final journey.

good information on dying and transitioning into the process

Co-written by professional counseling staff members Moira Cairns, Marney Thompson, Wendy Wainwright and sanctioned by the Victoria Hospice Society, Transitions In Dying & Bereavement: A Psychosocial Guide For Hospice And Palliative Care walks the reader through the stages that chronically ill and dying individuals and their families must progress through, from diagnosis to death to bereavement. The most effective interventions for easing stress and confusion are clearly explained, along with sample dialogues that reveal the issues and challenges at each step. Chapters include notes on multicultural and interdenominational perspectives on death and dying, perspectives on body image, intimacy, and sexuality in the dying, ways to help alleviate feelings of anxiety, fear, burnout, denial, and powerlessness, ways to help in planning for death, and much more. A must-read for aspiring or practicing hospice counselors.

This book is a great resource for anyone in hospice or palliative care. By following the structure of the Palliative Performance Scale, this book will guide you through the varied experiences of people who are dying and their loved ones. The authors do an excellent job of portraying the confusion and stress that surround many families from the point of diagnosis until the final phases of grief, while also giving professionals the information they need to provide comfort and reassurance in this difficult time.

This book should really be considered the Hospice Bible, or at least one volume of it. I have never seen a book so clearly laid out, so encompassing of the psychospiritualsocial concerns and strengths for hospice patients and their families! Our hospice bought it after I fell in love with it. Now our social workers and I (grief specialist and death educator) are using it to train our interdiscplinary team on 1. sensitivity, 2. helpful interventions, 3. understanding family AND team dynamics, and 4. understanding the range of care and history that each patient brings with them (such as their previous experiences with the medical, social services, spiritual, and psychological/psychiatric communitites).

At a time when hospice is changing so radically (with so many for profit hospice and so many agencies "pretending to do hospice under the guise of home health" it is refreshing to see a group who has been able to embrace the totality of palliation and hospice in such a humanistic and holistic way!!!

Kudos to the staff at the Victoria Hospice Society. I hope you know how many other lives you changed as this book was published!!!!

This book was recommened to me by a family member. It helped me to understand what was happening in my life and how to help the person that I was losing. It offers great tools and guidelines. It helps make you realize you are not the only one to go through this and that your not alone. It is not based on religion but on a common ground we all share.

This book is a must have for any family care giver or professional looking for a way to help with end of life issues. The format allows the caregiver to be guided through the end of life process and to think about caring for their loved one in ways that would never occur to someone who has not been involved in the end of life process. The design of the book is innovative. It allows for caregivers to journal their thoughts and feelings and to have something to look back on. I also had the opportunity to hear Mr. Sapienza speak and I am in awe of his sensitivity and compassion in an arena that is so often hard for us to enter. I work with family care givers and often give this book to them to begin their journey with their loved ones.

Urgent Whispers: Care Of The Dying by Jerral Sapienza is a spiritual self-help guide written especially and specifically for caregivers of the ill and the dying. Urgent Whispers is primarily an interactive book, asking the reader questions to explore internal and external issues, with space for jotting down brief answers, notes, and insights as one progresses through the self-discovery voyage. Also available in a spiral bound edition is a meaningful and thought-provoking resource for hospice volunteers and the clergy, as well as a welcome addition to the growing library of literature in the area of Death & Dying for both professionals and paraprofessionals.

It's about time that someone in Western society breech the taboo related to death and dying. Death isn't a fun subject, by any means, but it is something that all of us will experience. Like it or not, no one can escape losing a loved one and certainly we all have to die, at some point, ourselves.
Mr. Sapienza has masterfully captured the essence of meaning and beauty of the death process. Who knew that death could be such a rewarding experience? In giving care and/or assisting a loved one at the end of life, Mr. Sapienza illustrates how family or friends can enrich the end of life for the dying as well as add purpose and hope for those still living.
Working in a nursing home, I've seen many people die. I've seen family members grieving the loss before their loved on is even gone. I've seen family members unwittingly talk about what a wonderful person WAS. Mr. Sapienza enlightens his readers to be present in the here and now. The truth that so many of us fail to see, is that the dying aren't yet dead, therefore they still ARE wonderful people. Crying and grieving before they depart wastes energy and takes the focus away from the person who is dying and needs loved ones present.
It's not that the author is pointing out what we do wrong in assisting loved ones at the end of life; quite the contrary. Mr. Sapienza has a wealth of experience and compassion that he is sharing to our culture in collectively teaching us how to better care for those we love in their final time of need.
I have lost loved ones, but failed to be present for them in an altruistic capacity, simply because I didn't know how. I wish I had known how to be present for them, rather than focusing on my impending loss. All that accomplished was to rob the dying and myself of endearing, special moments that could have added so much meaning to process of dying.
We cannot implement what we do not know. In this age of self help gurus sharing their wisdom with the masses, "Urgent Whispers" is a must read. If we as a society want to learn how to enrich our lives, our relationships, businesses, etc, why then, should we not take our desire to grow and be better persons in the arena of death as well? Afterall, death is something that will enevitably touch us all. Why not make it better, too?
"Urgent Whispers" is well written and breaks the barrier of fear to unfold a compassionate look at death. Fear breeds ignorance. This book takes the reader beyond the unpleasant and scary thoughts commonly associated with death to reveal a fresh approach in helping our loved ones make the transition to the other side.
I cannot praise this author enough for giving the world such a useful, wonderful tool. Everyone who reads this book will be a better person for it. I can only hope that the persons who will care for me, when my time comes, will have read this book and will follow it closely.
Kudos to Mr. Sapienza and thank you for the epiphany. I hope that everyone who reads your book wil gain as much insight as you have given me.

McColly's writing is elegant and urgent. I rarely find books that combine political relevance and artistry as deeply as this book does. I couldn't put it down.

We are privileged to be working on publicity on this amazing book. Michael doesn't hold back and is brutally honest in his latest book. We highly recommend it.
Michael is also creating a Prostrations for Peace on July l5th that is spreading throughout the country. It's a demonstration against the continued war in Iraq and the continued suffering and killing of our own and Iraqi people.
Sherri Rosen Publicity, NYC

HIV-positive journalist Michael McColly travels through South Africa, India, Thailand, Vietnam, Chicago, and Senegal to document the lives of activists, sex workers, and people living with the AIDS. He also tells his own story, humanizing the disease and making it accessible in an intimate and compassionate way.

McColly's careful crafting blends scene and internal observations in a way that moves the vantage point from a feeling in the body to the exterior world, then out to a global perspective, taking the reader with him. Imagery and perception combine to make this not only an important sociological study of multiple struggles (sexuality, AIDS, poverty, healing), but also a literary work. He incorporates facts so that they become a part of the story without losing momentum, allowing the reader to step away from this book with a greater understanding of the scope of the AIDS pandemic.

Posing poignant and at times painful questions throughout his memoir, McColly challenges the reader to confront complex issues.

The book is both disheartening and inspiring as McColly's journey deepens. In Chennai, India, he interviews a man heading AIDS education for sex workers who says, "We are trying to make the young men ... into a cohesive, self-sustaining community. It's the only way they are going to survive not only this disease but this life." This becomes a subtle theme through the book: those who become active in helping others find that reaching out gives them a way to cope with the disease. At times, the story is devastating. Multiple viewpoints and approaches toward the treatment of AIDS help to put the struggles of various countries into a very real perspective.

The After-Death Room is a modern portrait of the diverse spectrum of the AIDS landscape. But the ultimate message does not just apply to AIDS. It is universal: the importance of connecting, understanding, loving, and helping others--which, in this world, is harder than ever to realize, is certainly a thing worth living for.

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