Death Care Books

I read this beautiful book cover-to-cover in one sitting as I just could not put it down. I think the description might be a bit misleading as it makes the book sound like a sad lament of loss, when in fact it is a joyous celebration of life. "Phantom Limb"also puts life into perspective, and will hopefully alter yours--as it has mine.
Ms. Sternburg explores her relationship with her mother and father touchingly, as her tale weaves back and forth from the past to the present, revealing the delicate nature of the human condition. The story is written in searingly honest prose, each one a self-contained vignette that links together to form the memory of whole human lives. This book is not necessarily just for people coping with loss...it's much more than that. "Phantom Limb" does exactly what good literature should do: it transports the reader to another realm, and it's beauty will stay with you, long after you put the book down.

What a brilliant, heartbreaking, wise book. The central metaphor is haunting and unforgettable. Janet Sternburg, in her heart of hearts, is a true poet.

This story is mesmerizing and painfully real to anybody who has lost a parent to illness. It's beautifully told, without being overtly sentimental. Sternberg skillfully lets us enter her world as a daughter, a caregiver and a woman who is also dealing with the baggage of her own illness. You are with her every step of the way. It is rich in its telling and goes straight to the heart.

I also found the detail in which she describes being an advocate for her mother a fascinating study that can be useful to anyone that is put in the situation of navigating care for ourselves or someone else. Phantom Limb speaks to what so many of us have either faced or will have to go through as our parents age. Bravo!

I LOVE this book! Barbara Karnes, RN, reminds us that death is not a medical event but a normal, natural social event. It doesn't have to be the ordeal most people dread. With accurate information and adequate support, dying can be a rich, rewarding family experience.

Karnes also wrote the invaluable pamphlet "Gone from My Sight," which some hospices give to families of dying patients. This more recent book includes moving stories from the author's own longtime hospice experience, descriptions of the deaths of her own parents, and much more.

This nurse provides detailed, deeply reassuring information about how we die. For example, she explains the 3 areas--food, sleep, and social interaction--that let one know whether a person has weeks, days, or hours to live. She cautions against the practice of hydrating a person near death, reminding us that dehydration is "nature's anesthetic." She also recommends against using a suction machine, since it usually irritates the throat and triggers the body to produce more secretions. There are better ways to keep a person comfortable.

Karnes sees dying as an opportunity to address any unfinished business, to live in the present, and to say goodbye. But she goes beyond the tools and attitudes that can help a patient and caregivers experience a gentle, peaceful, natural death. She also explains what to do afterwards. For example washing the body and allowing people to view the body can help the grieving process. Additionally, she discusses legal questions and stresses the importance of having an advanced health care directive.

I can't imagine anyone I'd rather have as a hospice nurse than the knowledgeable, no-nonsense, compassionate Barbara Karnes. This little book is a gem!

Nancy Manahan, Ph.D. author of Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully - A Journey with Cancer and Beyond

i found barbaras book to be tremendously informative and helpful. it gave me knowledge and insight into a subject that i find is sadly neglected in our education.the tools and insight gained from this book have helped me feel more at ease and prepared. i am very grateful and would highly recommend it to any body who finds themselves faced with the reality of death.

This book is the 101 of end of life issues. Barbara Karnes covers it all in this book. It's informative like a text book yet easy to read. I found the stages of dying very helpful along with her ideas on grieving, how men and women grieve differently. Loved her personal stories, they made a very informative book more heartfelt.

For those with a terminal illness or anyone interested in learning the dying process, you would enjoy reading the interviews provided by a Christian couple who visited seven Christians in their hospice homes. The authors have written with precise details which make the reader feel a closeness to the patients.The book gives a real glimpse into the hospice care which is now available to those who are terminally ill.

A book very well and very thoughtly written.. They share with us 7 Special people we don't know, how they lived and how they died..decisions
each had to make with their Family and mostly of their Faith !
A book for each person too read, to help yourself and a family member or close friend understand that difficult time of their life..and what to do to help them...
Even though its about death and how each of them met it with grace and total belief in eternity ..it helped me to understand where they were in thought and what they had to look forward to... A great comfort for those of us left behind...

Sincerely, Pat Brissette

This book was written by Jim and Jackie Harvey. a married Christian couple wishing to explore the lives of seven people who are in the process of dying. They explain in detail the lives of the seven people, Their involvement with a hospice program which allowed them to die free of pain. Some of the involved had pre-death experiences (PDE). These experiences add additional insight into the process of dying.

I would recommend this book for all christians, who are nearing the age which life could be terminated or have family members of this age, The book is short, 194 pages of interesting data, which you will want to complete in one reading

I lost my wife suddenly four months ago. The funeral home that handled everything for me has been really great, and one of the things they are doing is sending me this series of booklets at the recommended intervals. So far I have only received the first two books, but they have been extremely helpful. Manning writes well and clearly. His advice isn't complicated or difficult to understand. In fact, it can be down right repetitive. But the fact is that people grieving need to hear what he has to say over and over again.

If I had to boil his advice down to a few words it would be this: "Don't let anyone tell you how to grieve. Live it, embrace it, and don't be ashamed of how you feel."

Not everyone will be as fortunate as I am to have great friends who will let me talk, nor will everyone have a funeral home caring enough to send them this series. This series would be a great gift to anyone grieving.

We received this series of books from the funeral director the year following the death of our 16 year old son. They are well written and concisely discuss issues bereaved individuals may experience during the first year. Doug Manning's writing style really is conversatonal and like talking to an old friend. Not all family members are avid readers, but these are easy to pick up and absorb. I think the series is also a really great way to show that you continue to care about those who have had a loss.

I lost my mother this past november and a friend started sending me these books. i am only through the second book but they have helped me put my grief in perspective and spoke to my heart when i needed it most. i wish i could buy 100 copies and have them on hand to send out to others that i know are hurting through this process.

TO DIE WELL: YOUR RIGHT TO COMFORT, CALM, AND CHOICE IN THE LAST DAYS OF LIFE comes from a leader in the right-to-die movement, and a Harvard Medical School psychiatrist who offer insights on turning points in a dying patient's life: one when no reasonable expectation of a cure is possible, the second involving hastening death - the subject of this book. TO DIE WELL focuses on patient rights, physician involvement, and how to stay in control of advance directives. It promises to be an essential addition not just for medical libraries, but for general-interest collections.

At last! Two doctors have written a right-to-die book with the patients' interests first. Very readable by the lay person, bundles of good advice on how a patient's best interests should be protected, and straightforward reporting on euthanasia and assisted suicide. Recommend for instant reading, and filing away for future problems. -- Derek Humphry ('Final Exit')

This book should be on the shelf of everyone who thinks he or she might indeed die some day, and on the shelves of caregivers and hospice volunteers and end-of-life professionals everywhere as well. It is honest, easily readable and crammed with useful information every thinking person should have. The authors identify the times - introducing the helpful concept of "turning points" - which most of us will encounter as our health declines, and outline how we can take charge of our lives by recognizing these times. The first is when "there is no reasonable expectation of a cure or of restoring health;" the second is when the prospect of hastening death may appropriately be considered. While the authors are physicians, and some of the writing seems aimed toward physician-readers, the book is for everyone and accessible for the lay reader. Its point-by-point instructions on patient rights and hypothetical situations will enable dying individuals and/or their families to be better informed of potential choices and to remain in control of their own lives. It is this recognition of the individual's right to retain control that makes To Die Well unique among books of its type. Also included are accurate summaries of documents everyone should have, useful histories and information on end-of-life organizations. So pair this book with another favorite - poems, essays, (or perhaps my own Dying Unafraid) - and do yourself and your loved ones a favor by spreading it around.

With Healing Wings is pleasing to the eye with a beautiful cover and images of doves flying throughout the pages of the book. It is only 80 pages long.

Each page of the book contains a prayer from one of three categories: Prayers for Healing, Prayers for Thanksgiving (for those people and things which assist during illness), and Prayers of Caregivers. The prayers are written in reverent yet simple everyday language. Every prayer is followed by related passages of scripture.

The prayers in this book are heartfelt and helpful. I recommend the book to be given as a gift to those who are hospitalized, those who are bedridden, those in chronic pain, and those who love and care for the sick and elderly.

I also highly recommend the book for our own use. We can pray these meaningful prayers when we are ill, when we visit those who are, when we aren't able to visit the sick, when we are trying to encourage caregivers, etc. We can even pray them over the phone with others or write phrases into letters and notes to others--giving the author credit, of course.

It isn't always easy to find the right words to convey our feelings when we are in difficult situations. I know God hears our groaning and the Holy Spirit interprets for us, and that is all that we need when we are praying privately. It is not terribly effective when we are trying to pray for others aloud when they are with us. This book can make those more public prayers easier, and the book is small enough and light enough to fit into most women's purses.

The book is extremely useful.

Perhaps With Healing Wings can help you and those you love improve your communication with God during those times of health crises. I find it very valuable.

With Healing Wings: Prayers For Those Who Hurt And Those Who Care by inspirational speaker and writer Marsha Maurer is an inspired and inspiring collection of intimate and quotable mantras and prayers for those in the midst of a dispute with friends, family, God, or the adverse circumstances in their personal lives. Providing readers with an outstanding collection of personal and enveloping wisdom and knowledgeable prayer, With Healing Wings is an excellent compendium of the most helpful and enlightening Biblical quotes and proverbs. With Healing Wings is very highly recommended as an ideal and considerate gift for anyone who is distressed, as well as a superb reference for proper and helpful prayers in times when prayer is most needed.

If you are like me, in times of crisis, it is often difficult to formulate the right words with which to approach God for help. Often, we are not ourselves sure of what is the desired outcome or how to articulate our needs, wants and desires to the Almighty. This is particularly true when the crisis involves our own or a loved one's health crisis. These eloquent prayers by Marsha Maurer will help you beseech God for guidance and acceptance whether it is the strength to endure medical tests or the courage to face a terminal illness.
There are also prayers of thanksgiving, the most overlooked of all prayers, and prayers for those giving comfort and care to the ill. Appropriate scriptures supplement each prayer providing additional succor and guidance.
You may initially buy this for yourself but it is the perfect gift and more enduring than flowers for anyone who faces an illness or is caring for the ill whether they are a family member or health care professional.

So far every book I have seen by Earl Grollman is wonderful and this one is no exception. Having lost my mother to cancer when I was a teenager and now, as an adult, working with children who have experienced the death of a family member, this book is a great guide. It has everything from explaining death to children to spiritual and cultural differences of death. If you're a parent of a grieving child or a professional helping children, this is a perfect book.

Book: I Highly recommend this book for understanding grieving children. It helped me cope with what I was feeling, and with what I thought our boys might be going through, when my father in law died.

The book is good for parents, teachers, scout leaders and youth workers.

It contains over a dozen essays from religious, and medical specialists who deal with death and grief and children. Many religious and social concerns and perspectives are introduced. It is good for youth leaders because not everyone comes from your particular background and it helps you to understand where they might be coming from. It is written for an average parent or teacher to read. You don't have to be a Pastor or a Psychologist to get enormous value from it. Warning, however, it made me cry. That was part of the process too.

If I can summarize the whole book in one short snippet-

Every child is different, Expect some to be completely quiet and expect others to burst out laughing. Watch for the change. Don't dismiss their feelings, it will take time to listen-- a LOT of time-- it can't be solved in a 15 minute talk, but should be addressed at the child's schedule.

Although the book is published by Beacon Press, which falls under the Unitarian Universalist Church, each of the chapter-essays are written from a different person of a different religious or social perspective. There is a chapter each on the Protestants, Catholics, Jewish, Native American, Inner City, etc. perspectives. Grollman was the editor of all the essays. Each essay is easy enough to read as a stand-alone guide.

As a physician i have found Dr. Buckinghams book an invaulable resource. His compassion and understanding of this traumatic life event is beyond reproach.

Dr. Buckingham has wriiten the best book on the care of the dying child.

J Metts MD

Dr. buckingham has written the most wonderful and poignant book in the care of the dying child.

Every family and health care provider should read this book. Some of his case histories will touch your heart and bring tears to your eyes. This book is very informative and well researched.

This book will touch your heart and mind.

A Caregiver's Challenge should be on every caregiver's bookshelf.
It is an indispensable guide. The author uses her own very moving experience caring for her sick husband to help other caregivers. She offers advice, exercises, and helpful resources. Her professional experience and knowledge as a therapist make her a voice that readers trust. I would recommend this book to all caregivers, family members, and patients.

A Caregiver's Challenge: Living, Loving, Letting Go by psychotherapist Maryann Schact chronicles her own experience caring for her terminally ill husband and candidly exploring how terminal illness affects personal relationships. The onset of serious illness can throw relationships into shock, making it difficult to stay open and loving in spite of fear, and confronting people with the terror of things they never wanted to talk about. Simple steps and exercises to manage pain, consolodate one's emotional as well as physical resources, and stay true to one's bonds despite the perilous journey ahead, as well as advice concerning hard decisions and the medical power of attorney, dealing with money matters, alternative therapies to complement modern medicine, and much more. A highly recommended primer, written especially for caregivers but filled with crucial wisdom for anyone confronting the protracted loss of a loved one.

Reviewed by Lisa Heidle for RebeccasReads (1/08)

In the book "Children and Traumatic Incident Reduction: Creative and Cognitive Approaches," therapists, social workers, parents and educators come together to discuss the approaches and affects of Traumatic Incident Reduction (TIR) as well as other inventive therapeutic methods.

"TIR addresses traumatic experiences to relieve any traumatic stress the client is carrying from that experience, bringing about a full resolution of the trauma, and often insights as well," explains Marian Volkman, the book's editor, in the introduction. Repetitive verbal reproduction of the traumatic event is used to help the patient address the experience, allowing them to reach a resolution, or end point, to the trauma.

Many contributors to the book have combined Traumatic Incident Reduction, or TIR, with Art Therapy and have experienced positive results. Therapist Anna Foley uses drawing to help the client express the incident that has caused the trauma. "Each piece of paper is a different scene. So that might take 30 pieces of paper, it might take 40 or 50, or as few as 10. But whatever it is, it's right; it can't be wrong. Whatever they have drawn, we map that out so one piece of paper reflects each memory."

Using objects like clay or magnetic sculptures allow the patient to feel comfort and grounded when delving into past events. Patricia Furze addresses the Western cultural approach, "...that contributes to children's avoidance of unpleasant feelings and sensations is our instruction to children to use distraction to move their attention away from whatever upsets them. This works well in the short term. Repression pushes the sensations and feelings out of conscious awareness. They lie dormant, yet in a position to continue to affect the choices the child makes." Because of this, many children are better able to handle future TIR, or imagined future events that resemble the original traumatic event. The benefits of this technique are the child feels empowered and becomes more resilient.

Protecting children from physical and mental injury is something we would all like to do, but the world in which we live can be damaging to everyone. It can be exceptionally devastating to children who have less power and control in the occurrences in their own lives. Although there are many differing opinions on the best method to use when helping a traumatized child, the majority of experts agree that early intervention is key. Parents, therapists, and educational institutions, along with all others who work with children, can benefit from "Children and Traumatic Incident Reduction: Creative and Cognitive Approaches."

Reviewed by Lisa Bullert for Reader Views (4/07)

It is a universal belief that one type of therapy will not work for every patient. "Children and Traumatic Incident Reduction" is a phenomenal array of tried-and-true therapies for Traumatic Incident Reduction for children. This book is a great tool for parents and professionals alike. "Children and Traumatic Incident Reduction" is necessary to have for any therapist or professional who works with children. Marian Volkman has done a magnificent job of collecting and assembling all of the information encased in this easy-to-read and understand book.

The case studies included are creative and innovative. Also in the book are interviews with professionals who work directly with the traumatic incident reduction techniques. Discussions include "TIR and Child Survivors of Domestic Abuse," and "Anecdotal TIR Experiences with Children." There are also detailed figures and sessions for the therapies. Case studies include "Full Head and Empty Head," "TIR and Art Therapy," "Future TIR," and many more. There are techniques used for infant trauma, "empowering the child to get their control back," and "Touch and Let Go" therapy. So much useful and thoroughly researched information packed into this priceless volume in the "TIR Application Series."

There are also chapters for parents including the subjects of "Parents Working with Their Children," and "Parents Success with TIR." This is a good book for parents to read because s/he may take away an understanding of the many different therapy strategies available to them and their children. The parent may find a way to ask questions about their own child and TIR and find ways to prepare them for the part a parent plays in the child's' healing process, if any. Traumatic experiences for young children are often difficult for entire families and "Children and Traumatic Incident Reduction" could help parents empower themselves to seek different kinds of therapy, and know there are several ways a therapist could approach the problem. Please note that this is NOT a "How-to-heal-your-Child-on-your-own" book, more of a tool to use in discussion with a therapist.

Finally there are wonderful chapters filled with memory lists and information on how to get training on TIR, There is so much useful information in "Children and Traumatic Incident Reduction" that this reviewer deems it a must have for parents and professionals alike.