Death Books

A must have. Helpful not only in what to say to others, but also therapeutic messages for the reader.

I gave Healing Conversations to a friend troubled that she didn't " know what to say" to her family about her grandchild's scary diagnosis. She graciously received it and was pleased she didn't need to read the entire book because her specific concern is covered in a few short sections. She makes a good point. Readers under stress can find examples of numerous topics handily addressed in brief chapters about ways to support others through tough times. Other readers, particularly clergy or family educators, who simply want to feel prepared for helping others through the vicissitudes of life, will find reading the whole book helpful. It is a teaching tool about attitude and attention that the author dedicates "to each of you who, in a moment of uncertainty, take the chance to offer or to ask for a healing conversation."

Because life is complicated, even we who are not therapists find ourelves serving hurting hearts occasionally. In our personal lives, or in the course of regular work, official job descriptions may not cover it, but stuff happens! Requesting or offering acknowledgment and support for rough, uncertain passages presents occasions when we or others ask, " Please help me find a new way to see things because right now I can't even think straight!"

Suitable ways to respond in person and in writing are the focus of Nance Guilmartin's easy-to-read compendium. She coaches lay readers about being present in caring, appropriate ways for those experiencing a range of major and minor hard challenges, transitions and altered identities.

Her "Getting started" introduction reviews, in cogent paragraphs principles (summarized here) for healing conversations:

* Listen - actively hearing with ears, eyes and heart, suspending internal conversations and the impulse to ask questions

* Pause - to reflect, tap into compassion, and tune in to the other person "like putting the clutch in when you are driving a car with a stick shift. It lets you slow down just enough to engage the gears before you speed up."

* Be a Friend Not a Hero - Helping others through a rough time is not the same as rescuing them or rushing them.

* Offer Comfort - People can care without agreeing, disagreeing, fixing or prescribing how others should feel. Comfort allows room to be who we are at the present time.

* Be In Touch with Your Own Feelings - "Helping others feel comforted in our presence has a lot to do with what's going on inside us. . . we are able to sit with our own discomfort long enough to be with theirs. We are able to offer compassion to them because we can also give it to ourselves."

* Be There Over the Long Haul - Adjustment takes time. Sometimes a friend, family member, a colleague or a neighbor needs us to be nothing more than a sounding board--over and over again.

* Show Up Even When It's Awkward - It's okay to feel uncomfortable and helpful to be honest about it. Being a caring presence, letting the person feel safe, is the important thing.

* Be a Helpful Resource - Sometimes the sensible thing to do is refer someone to a resource that might answer needs better than we can.

* Take the Initiative - Taking the time to put ourselves in others' shoes is a helpful first step in knowing what is needed.

* Be Compassionate - Even if we have similar experience, we can't really know how someone else feels, what causes them pain, or what will help them. We need to be patient. Remember to listen to others' stories before asking whether it would help to share yours.

Through brief, interesting anecdotes, she helps readers see how the "getting started" guidelines play out in real situations. She helps readers understand and appreciate healing communication (especially conscious listening, shared silence, rephrasing and reframing) that can lift spirits about such life changing situations as caregiving, end of life, trauma, divorce, embarrassment, attempted suicide, anger, frustration, job loss, physical and mental health changes, retirement, bankruptcy, relocating, and a variety of other personal and work-related matters.

With a useful table of contents and index, the messy, irrational emotional whirlpool of topics is arranged in simple, understandable short sections of true life experiences with helpful insights drawn from them. Comments and approaches are suggested. Being correct is not Guilmartin's point. Being receptive and connecting with others in useful ways is what she is teaching here. Example after example of practical application of personal, attentive empathy show ways to help individuals heal. She discusses spoken and unspoken, judgment-free communication to help individuals gain strength and perspective.

Some of the anecdotes and commentary give additional practical examples of how others have worked through bewilderment or healing or have conceptualized a situation in a beneficial way. A letter from a leader of a nonprofit notifying her group of her cancer and asking for needed help, a list of helpful suggestions and requests from the wife of a hospice resident to his visitors, and some near death experiences are some examples. A few of the stories are a little on the sappy side, but illustrate her subjects well and are all worth reading.

The general contents may be basic and obvious to those who read lots of books like this, but the memorable examples are enriching. Healing Conversations is both a motivational refresher and a handy resource to recommend for others dealing with all manner of personal discomfort. It is a valuable reminder that we all are more than our roles, we're fellow humans first.

At this time when thousands of people are responding to Hurricane
Katrina, "HEALING CONVERSATIONS" offers us invaluable suggestions and guidelines for how to
ask for, offer and, yes, especially, accept help during difficult, sometimes mind-numbing, circumstances. These
stories enable any one--whether you are a volunteer, teacher, doctor,
student, government leader, lay counselor, or even just a friend, family member or confidant--to be more at ease when
dealing with the unimaginably difficult situations BOTH survivors and
responders are encountering during this massive recovery effort. If there ever was a time when this book can speak volumes to all of us, this is it.

David W. Oberdorfer, M.D., F.A.C.S., M.F.A.
Emergency Room Physician & Immediate Past President, "Society for Humanism in Medicine"

This book is a must read for anyone whose work centers around pastoral care and pastoral concerns. Often the most asked question is "what do I say when...." and this book gives you the answers through the telling of a story in such a way that one remembers what to say when. Not matter what faith community you are a part, this book belongs in your library and in your own home whether you do pastoral work or not. I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

As a therapist I've learned through long experience that often the most difficult but helpful thing I can offer others is the gift of listening with full attention. That's very difficult for us because our own emotions run away with us when we're with someone in pain. We get scared or angry and we want to make the problem go away--by offering advice or by changing the subject. Nance Guilmartin has put together a very useful guide for how to deal with our own fears and take "healing conversations" to a deeper level where we can actually help those in pain--by being there with them and, with their permission, doing what we can do to help. I especially like her very practical and down-to-earth advice: "Show up even if it's awkward." "Be there over the long haul." I highly recommend this book; everyone will need it more often than they realize, because the opportunities for healing conversations are there every day.

I am the author of "Hurricanes & Rainbows-Finding Life's Promise After the Storm," and although I am reluctant to submit a review of my own work, I am doing so at the urging of my publisher. "H&R" was never meant to be published. I wrote the pages of what came to be the finished work during a 28-day period in the summer of '06--nearly a year after experiencing two life-changing events--the breakup of an 8-year relationship and the ravages of Hurricane Katrina in my native New Orleans. These devastating events were closely followed by eight more which were equally as challenging. By the time I had endured #10, I was completely out of sorts--so much so that I finally came to the end of myself and sought professional help (something I swore I would never do!).

Long story short, my therapy "did the trick" and I finally got my life back. As part of my therapy, I decided to embark on a much-needed catharsis, which was accomplished through writing what I believed would always remain for "my eyes only." After trusted friends read the manuscript, they encouraged me to pursue publishing, which I did, and the rest is history. Now that my work is in print, my hope is that readers will find hope and encouragement when faced with storms along life's journey. To borrow a quote from the author, "I have learned that without the storms of life there can be no rainbows." Rainbows do await the storm-tossed traveler; yours may be just beyond the next storm cloud.

If you read the book and are encouraged in any way, I would love to hear from you. I can be reached by email at hurricanerainbow@aol.com. Please visit my website at: www.hurricanesandrainbows.com. God bless you on your way--Mark

I wasn't looking for "self-help" when I received Hurricanes & Rainbows as a gift. What I found was self-awareness and confidence to meet life's disappointments with grace and hope. Mr. Armstrong's poignant story of his life's experiences both tragic and happy were true inspiration. He writes from his soul bringing his readers along on his journey as if you were going through the experiences at his side. If you didn't know Mark before reading Hurricanes & Rainbows you will call him friend at the end of his story. To have survived any of the events described takes courage and strength. Having survived all of the events since Aug 2005 and still be able to smile and have compassion for others is simply amazing. Finding a penny will now always be a blessing thanks to this book. I look forward to reading the sequel once Mr. Armstrong finds his Rainbow.

This was not an enjoyable book to read--at least not the parts that described all of the life events that led to Mr. Armstrong's depression. However, it was a highly rewarding read. I am happy that Mr. Armstrong got his life back. I am glad he learned how to cope with the lousy hand his life dealt him. I am grateful that he wrote about his experiences, however painful it must have been for him to do so. His book will serve an important purpose. His words will inspire the downcast, encourage the weary, and lift up the fallen. His book did all three for me. No, I didn't much like this book...I loved it!

Nearly everyone has suffered loss and grief at some point in their lives. Many people battle depression following these painful events. Most of us have experienced many of the same losses as Mr. Armstrong. We've had our hearts broken after a failed relationship ends in a breakup or divorce. We've lost loved ones to death, maybe even violent death. We've dealt with financial problems, perhaps even bankruptcy. We've moved to new cities, taken new jobs, leaving behind famiily, friends, and our sense of security. We've buried our beloved pets. We may have even been hit by natural disasters, such as hurricanes, earthquakes, and floods. The difference between most of us and Mr. Armstrong is that for the vast majority of people, painful episodes such as these are usually spread out over a lifetime. For him, they all occured in less than a year! How he recovered from such a series of events is beyond me. But he did. His book can and will encourage any reader who faces hardship and pain in life, like me and like you. This book will show you how to never give up. It will show you how to learn and grow in your faith, not only in God, but in yourself. If you have faced problems in your life, read Hurricanes & Rainbows. You'll be stronger for having read this sad yet victorious journey.

It's been two long years since Hurricane Katrina devastated the city of New Orleans, the city I call home. In those two years, I've read everything I could get my hands on that had been written about the storm, including Douglas Brinkley's The Great Deluge, Jed Horne's Breach Of Faith, as well as countless others. I've watched Spike Lee's documentary, The Day The Levees Broke. And they are all wonderful! This book, Hurricanes & Rainbows, gives the storm's fury a human face--one man and his dog struggling to get out of harm's way. But that man was already beaten down by another storm he endured three weeks before Katrina. That storm clouded his thinking and caused him to think irrationally in a seemingly hopeless situation. Katrina was only his second storm; there would be eight more to follow in close succession. The city of New Orleans has been slow to rebuild. Fortunately, Mr. Armstrong has rebounded much quicker. His storm story is an inspiration to me as a New Orleanian, but more importantly, as a kindred spirit who has endured his share of his own storms in life. If he can find his rainbow, then surely so can I. I have and I will continue to ride the waves and somehow manage to stay afloat. This book will encourage you to weather life's storms, knowing that you can and will prevail in the end. Extremely well written and blatantly honest, I highly recommend it.

The only reason I did not give this book five stars is because I am REALLY careful about doing that with any book . . . BUT I loved this book! I loved the two women, Shelley and Mai, and wanted, especially, to know everything about Mai's former life in Vietnam and how she'd handle going back there after so many years. I also loved the way the author did Mai's dialogue in such a way that I could understand the limitations of her English and yet not not want to laugh at her. Mai simply fascinated me. Another aspect of this novel that I really respected was the way Sachs writes about children, especially 2-year Hai Auo. He is such a realistic picture of a child that age! Cute, but also capable of emitting a "scream that sounds like an electric drill." Sachs so expertly captures a toddler's personality (his fickleness, bouts of crying, clinginess, etc.) that I felt like that child was in the room with me. I wanted to adopt him myself! Finally, I loved reading about Vietnam (a country that's always fascinated me) and I have already purchased a copy of Sachs' memoir of living in that country. Can't wait to read and review that one, too!!!

If You Lived Here: A Novel
I was drawn to Dana Sachs' novel "If You Lived Here" because one of its settings is Wilmington, North Carolina, where my son lives. But the moment I picked up this wonderful book and started to read, I felt myself gently guided into a world much more complex than any locale. The two main characters, Shelley Marino, a mortician's wife who desperately longs for a child, and Mai, a Vietnamese entrepreneur who owns an Asian grocery in Wilmington and who fled Vietnam and carried a desperate secret with her, have become as real to me as my own family.
Both of these women and the other characters who people this novel walk off the pages and stand before me in flesh and blood. And the story Ms. Sachs tells exposes their hearts in a way that very few books ever have for me. And I am an avid reader who, at the age of 60, has a hard time finding anything new under the sun! Today, it takes a very rare and exceptional book to move me. Ms. Sachs is a wordsmith beyond compare. Not only did I love the path she carved for me, but I found myself savoring the way she used words to exactly tap and reveal her character's souls.
Shelley and Mai are two very strong women who, despite different cultures, forge a wonderful friendship which carries them both on a journey to Vietnam and on a journey of healing and discovery. I simply opened my own heart to them and, while reading their story, I felt suspended from my own life. That is how compelling this book is.
I also received a special bonus while immersed in this story. I am old enough to have lived through the years of our war with Vietnam, and I had a front row seat to its horrors on television newscasts. My myopic view of Vietnam hasn't changed since I was a teenager. In fact, I had put "Vietnam" aside as a memory and as a country which no longer plagues us.
Ms. Sachs, with her beautiful words and her heart's investment in her story, has changed my vision! Her story is so well told and so consuming that she has managed to draw me in another direction entirely.
I plumbed the depths of two women's lives. I struggled with Shelley's husband Martin until he finally opened up and told his story. And when Shelley and Mai and Martin and other characters forgave each other and themselves, I wept and forgave too.
But while doing so, I awoke to the story of Vietnam. The flickering black-and-white images of destruction and human pathos from my teen years have permanently been replaced. I have now discovered, through Ms. Sachs' eyes, a Vietnamese people with beautiful souls and a Vietnam of greens and reds and yellows and blues as palpable as the country right outside my own front door. What a gift! What a release!
Tonight I will settle down into my pillows and start reading Ms. Sachs' memoir of her time in Vietnam, "The House on Dream Street!" I am now hungry to hear more!

This is a must read for anyone who has adopted--or who has given a child up for adoption (trust me).

This author swept me up in her story from the beginning......twirled me around on her journey.....and put me down gently....all while keeping my heart and mind in the hearts and minds of all innvolved in the story. I loved this book!!!!! Sachs can certainly write...with knowledge, reality....and imagination! What more does a GOOD novel need!!! I need more from her!!!

Adoption is a special way of understanding feelings of other people. When you start this process you need support and help. The reactions of people around you make it clear who really cares for you who loves you
This is what happened to the two women in the novel

What a trip! If you can imagine yourself for just one second in a buddha state then Alexandra Kennedy has brought you there and given you the key to cope with your very personal grief. A must for all of us who think there is more to this reality.

READING THE INFINITE THREAD BROUGHT A LOT OF THINGS TOGETHER FOR ME. I WAS ABLE TO APPLY IT TO THE LOSS OF A RELATIONSHIP IN MY LIFE. I THINK THE BOOK IS CLEAR AND WELL WRITTEN. ALEXANDRA MAKES THE IDEA OF COMMUNICATING INTERNALLY VERY REAL AND VERY POSSIBLE. THERE WERE AREAS THAT JUST CLICKED FOR ME. I AM GRATEFUL THAT SHE COULD EXPERIENCE THESE EVENTS AND PUT THEM SO BEATIFULLY IN TO WORDS TO SHARE WITH US.

Alexandra Kennedy guides the reader with deftly crafted compassionate exercises that help us process the many emotions that arise when we lose a loved one. Using visualizations, dreams and inner dialogue the connections we have to those we love are not lost but strenghtened and in the process we are able to heal ourselves. Powerful and wise for clinicians and lay people alike.

It is wonderful to find a useful and compassionate book that helps deal with the regret that often remains after a loved one dies. I had many unresolved feelings, especially anger and distrust, toward each of my parents after they died. Alexandra's heartfelt and practical exercises took the fear and guilt out of expressing my feelings, and gave them a healing container. This book is useful for therapists and family members.

READING THE INFINITE THREAD BROUGHT A LOT OF THINGS TOGETHER FOR ME. I WAS ABLE TO APPLY IT TO THE LOSS OF A RELATIONSHIP IN MY LIFE. I THINK THE BOOK IS CLEAR AND WELL WRITTEN. ALEXANDRA MAKES THE IDEA OF COMMUNICATING INTERNALLY VERY REAL AND VERY POSSIBLE. THERE WERE AREAS THAT JUST CLICKED FOR ME. I AM GRATEFUL THAT SHE COULD EXPERIENCE THESE EVENTS AND PUT THEM SO BEATIFULLY IN TO WORDS TO SHARE WITH US.

My Annabelle Kitty was 6 years old and one amazing kitty. She came every time I called her name. She was very loving to me, always petting me and purring. She got sick and in less than 11 hours she was unexpectedly gone. The vet thinks it was a blot clot. She died New Years morning 2008. I have other pets, but none like my Annabelle. She always had a way of always being there and she was so comforting. My first step in truly healing was this tape program. I would go lie down, but on my earphones and just close my eyes and listen to the woman talk about her dog. It helped to have my feelings validated by someone who has been there. These tapes helped me not to feel so alone. I have the support of my husband and 10 year old daughter, but the woman on the tapes helped me to deal with my grief. I was not doing very well and was not being there for my daughter and husband like I needed to be because of the loss I felt. It took a few days of focusing on what the woman said on the tapes, but I did what she said and it helped more than anything else. I am very grateful for the tapes. (I am not sure if my tapes were the revised edition or not)
Blessings,
Stephanie

I recommend this book to anyone who needs help through the stages of grief. It is practical and insightful.

The author uses moving vignettes from the death of her own pet to help others review their own feelings of grief. After each topic, she encourages the listener to turn off the tape and reflect on his or her own memories and feelings.

She discusses pet memorials, stages of grief, euthanasia and hospice options. She emphasizes that each person has his or her own unique feelings. Different individuals might make different, equally valid choices for the beloved pet.

I liked the sections on complicated grief. Pet loss can often reactivate deeper feelings about past losses. The pet's death may be a chance to work through other life experiences.

Many of her general suggestions for dealing with pet loss could be useful for the entire family.

The section on children's reactions to pet loss could have been stronger. I had a sense that the author was more comfortable dealing with adults and their animals. However, she did bolster her section on children with quotes from other authors and gave useful references.

Carol E. Watkins, M.D.

Sometimes losing a dear animal friend can seem more overwhelming than the loss of a human in our lives. This is one of the many things that complicate the grieving process. The author explains that there are many bounds set by society and our own inner voice that attempt to dictate how long and how much we should mourn a beloved companion's passing. She explains why the loss of an animal can be a much more raw experience than the loss of a family member, friend or relative because of the mixed feelings and complicated relationships that we have with other humans. That simple, loving animal spirit that was so close to you is suddenly gone. There is no buffering element, no memories of a heated exchange that soured your relationship - nothing to blunt the pain. This can bring feelings of confusion and guilt, or painful memories of the loss of a child or spouse, and many other emotions. The author does an excellent job of explaining the reasons for these feelings, and suggests many different ways of working through them. She explains the phases of the grieving process and where to find help if serious emotional states are triggered. She also explains that we frequently project a part of our own psyche onto our pets, which can unleash unexpected effects on their passing.

Despite the fact that I might have made this sound rather technical, it is not. The author puts forth a very gentle and concerned effort to do what the title implies - help you through the journey of pet loss.

Journey Through Pet Loss...takes us in the steps of grieving for a loved family pet. Deborah's audio also seems more personal to the listener. It touches you--because she understands the loss."

Bennet Pomerantz AUDIOWORLD

mr waite does a great job of engaging us with the details of his writing. taking us into the mind of an adolescent young boy and walking us through his thoughts and emotions.

reading the excerpt just made me want to read the rest and learn more - i am especially intrigued by the title!

The opening line beautifully sets the tone for this excerpt: "The summer I collected rattlesnake skins was the summer my father showed me how to keep a woman." I liked the quiet prose, and the immersion in the head of a young Hispanic boy. The neighbor woman, as a character, and as Raphael's obsession, becomes more compelling as the excerpt progresses, culminating in his spying on her through the window - a wonderfully delicate scene, and one which might easily have become unpalatable. The tensions between Raphael's mother and father, nicely demonstrated in the scene where she bangs a cup in front of him while he's drinking juice from the bottle, bring the central character more into focus. There was a slight repetitive nature to the prose which might have been intentional but feels more as if the author was trying to pad the story, and this could be off-putting if it continued through a novel.

Mr. Waite is a talented writer who quickly draws a reader into his story and the characters' world. This story left me wanting to read more stories from this creative author.

Mr. Waite perfectly evokes the beginning of a boy's adolescence and the subtly perceived dissolution of the marriage of his parents. More is hinted at than stated and so much the better.

The Life and Death of Seals by Urban Waite opens with the summer time adventures of 12 year-old Raphael and his younger brother Juan.

This summer, as with each summer, they are at their family's cabin in the Sierras. Their father watches them during the week as their mother continues her work at the hospital.

Isolated with the exception of the younger neighbor couple, Mr. and Mrs. Ramos, Raphael recounts how their days are spent exploring the woods and nourishing his fascination and young desires for Mrs. Ramos.

The sequence this excerpt covers is wonderfully written. Full of detail that is succinct for the purpose of moving the tale along, and varied enough to provide a multi-layered connection for the reader to this story. The author does an excellent job of letting the reader walk in Raphael's shoes.

Despite minimalist dialog, there was no lack of story activity and progress. It can be a tricky task to convey story line movement relying primarily on narrative passages, but the author does a wonderful job.

I envision this being a great long-stretch read and look forward to the opportunity of reading it through.

Based on Kierkegaard's book, it is clear that despair is essential for a person to realize he is not a "self," and thereby turn to God; but many people choose to create a self on their own-they become a carbon copy of everyone else in the world. I was intrigued by Kierkegaard's insights. From what I understood, there are two possibilities a person can have: (1) There is the possibility of becoming the self that God intended for the person, or (2) The alternate possibility when one manufactures a "self" then for the rest of his or her life, strives to attain it. The "fantastic" is the result of one's idea of self that is always being improved and refined from the previous "self." However, a person can only have a self if God gives it to him or her. The "sickness unto death" is when the person does not realize this until he or she faces death and had lived a life in sin (sin was explained as the spiritual and actual position of a person in comparison to God).

The person had a chance to live in "actuality," but instead was in despair and now is left with the "sickness unto death." Kierkegaard offered an insight to the human soul that ought to be the foundation to understanding the psyche of the Christian. His work is still relevant, and had probably ushered the Christian psychology movement into existence. It would be safe to say that he is a "founding father" of Christian psychology and was a very observant man. This book is not easy to read, but it is worth the effort.

This was my first Kierkegaard book, and I can't imagine it'll ever not be my favorite. This should be everyone's introduction to him. It's short, sweet, beautiful, encouraging, exotic, convicting, brutal, and funny.

Written by Anti-Climacus, K's very idealized Christian author who always does his best to expose externalisms in the lives of human beings--both Christians and pagans.

I'm not going to get into a major discussion of this book here; you can do that on your own or peruse some of the other reviews on this page. I will, however, give a very cursory sketch of _some_ of his great ideas.

1. It is written from an unabashedly orthodox Christian standpoint (orthodox meaning Apostles Creed). While there are a few passages contained therein that can be read like Arminian creeds, overall this book presupposes God's Word as Truth itself and thus is congruent mostly with what is later called Van Tillian apologetics (of course one could then say that Van Til had some Kierkegaard in him!).

2. It is written to examine what faith, in its nature as an exclusively Christian concept, is. But ever heard that Kierkegaard hated doctrine, that he loved the irrational leap into blind faith? Forget it. That's Johannes de Silentio. The passion and power of his prose here, along with his journal notes as provided by the Hongs' priceless scholarship, show that when he lists "dogma" with the three essentials of Christianity (the other two are faith and paradox), he meant it! (It wasn't just Anti-Climacus's idea.) He even says that once people throw out the "thou shalts" and God's special revelation as what it is--that Christianity is dead. Once we make Christ into an event, once philosophers merge God and man together--that Christianity is dead. Very powerful stuff. Now what does this have to do with faith? Kierkegaard shows that all natural men put their faith in themselves--and they will despair forever as they autonomously insist that they are the source of themselves. What Christianity insists on in men's putting their faith in the Creator as the Bible commands. Faith in God is not irrational, Kierkegaard says; but it is the gospel, as so wonderful, so inexpressibly amazing, that cannot fit into the minds of rationalistic men. This is a huge distinction. And a wonderful one!

3. It is written to examine thanklessness in those who don't look like they're despairing. This is where he attacks the Danish State Church. It's brutal and very convicting. I won't spoil it for you.

Despair is the refusal of man to admit who he is--a creature of his Creator. It's hubris, it's solipsism, it's pride, it's fear of humiliation. But Kierkegaard doesn't stop there. He shows the solution; he shows Christ as the only answer, using Christ's character as manifested in the gospels to show that it is our rebellion that He saves all men from. In this way, Anti-Climacus is in no way judgmental or self-righteous.

Another note: the Hongs are amazing. Write them a letter and tell them how amazing their work is. Each Princeton Kierkegaard book contains journal entries, an historical introduction, earlier draft changes, indices, &c.

And one more: another reviewer was totally right when he said that some of this is so powerful and--yea-- beautiful that you won't know you're reading Theology. The passage starting with the hourglass on pages 27-8 comes to mind immediately.

I only detract a star because of the ambiguity in certain places that has deceived many non-Christians into thinking that they're a-okay. And I've met a few of them, working at a bookstore as I did. It's written for Christians, so use your Biblical framework while reading it.

As a student at St. Olaf College, I got Kierkegaard pretty much thrown at me. The professors Hong translations of Kierkegaard are the most erudite I've seen. They own the largest Kierkegaard library in the world... They know their stuff. It's definitely worth the extra money over and against the penguin translation.

"The self is a self which relates itself to itself or is a relation relating itself to itself in the relation."
Don't get too flummoxed by the first page, it gets better.

One thing I like about Kierkegaard is that he knows how to WRITE. Other philosophers lose common literary skills that make writing enjoyable, for example, Kant. You cannot sit down and read 200 pages of a Critique of Pure reason straight, your head will explode. With Kierkegaard however, he is so enjoyable and fun to read, you hardly notice your're reading philosophy.

This book however, I wouldn't recommend to beginners, I'd choose either "Either/Or" or "The two ages"

where is God? this is the question i asked my self in my own suffering. kierkegaard's sickness unto death helped me understand where God is/was in my own despair. when i read kierkegaard i know i am reading something that was told from one's heart. kierkegaard really understands despair and he understands the struggle one goes through in despair. despair doesn't just happen to a select few. it touches us all. this book really saved me from sinking deep into my own despair. if kierkegaard were alive today i would send him a thank you note!

This is hands down the greatest book I have ever read, not including the Bible. I say that as a Christian and as an individual. I can understand how some choose to apply the concepts without the religion, but I personally think this would have infuriated SK.
Again, not including the Bible, "The Sickness Unto Death" is perhaps the only literary work I have ever read that altered my life, either by perception or action.
His elaborations on the various forms of despair should hit everyone, as there are several, each applicable to each personality.
If anyone were to ask me to recommend a single work, this would be it.
I must add, that I have not read scores of philosophy, only a handful. I say that to say this. This book may seem somewhat difficult to understand at first, but it gets easier the more you read and the more accustomed you get to SK's style. Once the first few pages regarding the definition of self have been comprehended, the rest falls beautifully into place.

The Stones of Mourning Creek is a really good book. It's about a girl in the 1960's living in Alabama. Her mom dies in a mysterious accident one night when the girl (Francie) is about 13. Francie is left with just her and her dad, who has a big drinking problem. One day Francie meets a girl named Ruthie and they become best friends. But, Ruthie is black and Francie is white and in Alabama in the 60's that was almost unheard of. As the girls become closer and closer and the community tries harder and harder to pull them apart, the mysterious death of Francie's mother begins to unfold and things are linked together like they never imagined. People they've known and trusted all their life become complete strangers. Francie also meets Ernest, a guy a little older than her who is also connected in the mystery. He contributes greatly to Francie's life.

My favorite character was Mama Rae. She is Ruthie's mom. I liked her the best because she seems like one of those people that just being in the room with them make you feel good and happy. She is funny and always has good advice. Her cooking sounds really good too.
The only part I didn't like was part of the end. It makes chills go up your back because you think, I wonder if that could actually happen to me.
The only question I have after reading the book is what happens with Earnest and Francie?
My favorite passage in the book is when the girls are at the creek:
"'I wanna go home, 'I told him. He told me to shut up and raised his hand up over his head like he was going to hit me hard. That's when I saw the angel." she(Ruthie) said.
"Do you remember what she looked like?" I(Francie) asked. She nodded her head.
"Like an angle," she said, "with red hair, like you."
You sort-of have to read the book to get that part though. The book makes you think about the 60's and it's really cool how it's all linked together, and 'it makes you laugh and it makes you cry' like they always say.

Wow! I just finished reading this book today. I started yesterday, but I couldn't put it down. I loved how it took place in Alabama in the 1960s. I think that that time period showed the segregation between blacks and whites. The story was magnificent and I hope Diane writes a sequel. Uhhh, it's so good! Anyways the story is written from Francie, a white girl's, point of view. It showed how hard it was to be friends with a black during the '60's. I cried a few times during this book especially during the end. I don't have time to write anymore, but if you have a question, just email me at Spangs234@hotmail.com

When the mother of thirteen year old Francie allegedly falls and hits her head, Francie is grief striken, and her life changes drastically. No one is home to cook her and her father dinner, no one is there to look after her father when he drinks, except her. She wishes her mother was still alive, and it is a blessing when she meets Ruthie, the girl who saved Francie's life when she was bit by a rattle snake. Ruthie and Francie become friends, but will they be able to remain close as the mystery in the past of their lives becomes more clear? Between family, rumors and neigbors, the girls no longer know who to trust. Racial division in thir town may tear apart their lives, and their friendship.

I've always liked mysteries but I'm not too fond of sappy "let's all have a good sob" novels. So when I read THE STONES OF MOURNING CREEK, I was puzzled. What was I to think of this emotional novel entwined with a mystery? It turns out the novel wasn't what I expected.

Francie is a quiet girl with brilliant red hair. Since her mother's death, Francie lives alone with her father and has few friends. It is the 1960s, when racism is rampant, but when Francie meets Ruthie, a young black girl, the two become almost inseparable. That is until the rest of Spring Gap begins to notice. As the town grows more conscious of the tight bond between the girls, people become more intent on splitting them up.

Meanwhile, new developments about the death of Francie's mom keep popping up. How did she die? Nobody is really sure about that night, and not many people want to find out. So Francie embarks on a journey --- with Ruthie, of course. The two become trapped as they try to untangle themselves from a web of lies. They find that nothing is safe and they can turn to no one in their quest for the truth.

In THE STONES OF MOURNING CREEK, Diane Les Becquets shows the reader what life in the '60s was really like. She also reveals aspects of the mother-daughter relationship. It is clear that when Francie's mother was alive, the two were almost inseparable --- much like Francie and Ruthie.

The mystery got the best of me, and I felt myself falling for the "lets all have a good sob" part, as much as I didn't want to. If you're fond of mysteries, and you don't mind sappy novels, then read THE STONES OF MOURNING CREEK. You just might like it.
--- Reviewed by Lisa Marx

This is an excellent book. And our town is very supportive of Diane. I know who she is, she lives in our town of Meeker. Diane is a great auther and she has done an excellent job writing this book. Its definitely a book that you are not going to want to put down.

The book was sent to a friend. I am not able to review it since I will not be receiving it.
Bryan Boatwright

We recently experienced the crushing feelings of extreme grief in the death of our 22year old son. Someone lent me this book because they had found solace and comfort in reading this book. They had also dealt with the death of a child. I found a lot of answers to help me deal with the grief and hopefully heal someday. The last two chapters helped me the most. They helped me find one of the elements that has been missing from my life in the past few months and that is "hope".

Mr Claypool used his own experiences of coming through the darkest night into the sunshine of a new day. Very easy to read and understand. I recommend it to anyone wanting to work through grief in a positive way.

Dr. Claypool's book has rescued more people from the depths of grief than any I can recommend. He lost his daughter and this book is four sermons he gave during her illness and then after her death from leukemia. Dr. Claypool himself died in 2005, so his teachings become that much more important to share. He leads the reader to understand that we are sad when we lose someone, but we are enriched by ever having known the person. His words truly are the light at the end of the tunnel -- for anyone who is lost in darkness. For yourself or for someone you care about -- read this book.

I lost my husband in November 2005,even as I write this it doesn't seem
possible. I was given all the books on being a widow and all the platitudes about being in a better place,he's whole, he's happy....I didn't care, he wasn't here. Then I read this little book...John Claypool didn't need 200 pages to tell me what I needed to know...it was alright to
question God, I didn't need to accept that this was "Gods Will"...I could question, I could yell at God but ultimately everything is a gift...Using Job as his example he led me from despair to a measure of peace...I still hurt, a lot, but I try to remember that my husband was a gift, and I'm better for having him in my life. Mr Claypool has a gift for saying a lot in a little space...he lost his daughter and speaks from experience...he showed up in my life at the right time....this book is for the care of your soul.....Mr Claypool is a gifted,interesting writer and I look forward to reading more....

Wenny Has Wings
By: Janet lee Carey


(1.) This book is about a young boy named, Will and his sister named, Wenny. Will and Wenny where walking down the street and got ran over by a truck. Wenny died and went to heaven. Will's heart stopped for 10 minuets. Will said he sped through a dark tunnel when he died. Then we flew around in the sky. After that he said he woke up in the hospital. Will blames he's self for Wenny's death. He thinks there must have been something he could have done so prevent the accident. His parents said to him
"Why did it have to be Wenny?"
Will got very upset because we thought they meant they would rather have him die then Wenny. They meant why Wenny had to die. Will's pastor tells him that when he's angry, he should write letters to god, but Will decides he'd rather write to Wenny, so will writes to Wenny every day, maybe even 2 or 3 times a day. In his writing we talks about many things. Most of the time when Will writes to Wenny he is talking about stuff he did that day and some times he talks about how much he misses Wenny. 50% of the time he writes he is in the hospital trying to get well, so he can go home and go back to school to see all of his friends. When he gets home he is very excited, but that is just until his parents seem very depress. Will thinks that talking about his near-death experience may comfort his and help heal his family, but no one seems willing to listen to him and talk to him about it.

(2.) This book was very exciting to read because you did not know what was going to happen next. For example one of the notes Will wrote to Wenny said, "How much Will wanted to see Wenny. The next thing you know he is saying his mom is pregnant and she is getting ready to have a baby, so they are taking every thing out of Wenny's room and painting the room and putting in stuff for the new baby. The only thing that I really was disappointing was the end of the story. I thought it was disappointing because it just had the last letter and said love Will on it. It did not say anything like I will miss you or I will write to you soon again. It just stopped. I did not really like that.

(3.) I really liked Janet Lee Carey's writing because it's not like a long story where nothing really exciting happens. It is written more like an AIM or like a journal. I really enjoy these kinds of writings because I can relate to them a lot and I really enjoy writing AIM to friends. I have not read any other books by this author but I am soon planning on it.

(4.) If I could rate this book 1-10 I would defiantly rate it a 9. I would rate it a 9 because I really think it is a fantastic book. I would recommend you reading it.

I thought that book was the best book that I have ever read. It was sad when Wenny died because of a truck. And it was just the way the book was made and I could proubly read this book any day. It was just the way the author had wrote the book alot of wondeful details in it and the book was just out standing. It was the the family was falling apart because of when Wenny died it changed everthing and then later through out the book it was like there family was like done the parents have been aruing alot and then at the end of the book well close to it they bacame a better family and Will felt like they were a family agian and the new baby was comming and there parents hated going into wennny room but they had to do it that was going to be the new babys room.Will made sure though to leave some of Wennys things in there for the baby and Will had been trying every thing to tell his parentsd about how he felt when he died and they would just nevr listen to him and will felt like he was just a nobody and he wanted all of that to change well it did and they alll became a great family agian and they were sill pretty happy except for when Wenny died

There is a brother and and a sister named Wenny and Will. Will is older than Wenny! One day they both go walking to the auto part-store to get parts for their derby car,when all of a sudden a truck came out from no-where and hits the two kids, because the brakes went out on his truck.It killed the little girl and broke his leg and ruptured his spleen.While they were operating on him his heart stopped for a whole ten minutes, he claimed he saw the white light. The boy has to stay in the hospital for a while. His mother and father hardley ever stay in the room with Will.His mother is expecting another baby soon the end

This is a great book it tell readers to watch out and be careful when their crossing the road, but also they need to know the whole conversation before they start blaming people for doing stuff.
Will and Wenny were on their way into town to get a part for will cart thing when they got hit by a truck that tried to stop but it just wouldnt. They both died, but when they were dead Will saw Wenny flying ahead of him going to a light person in a big hole in the sky, then will felt a blast of energy and saw his parents in the waiting room while the dockter was reviving him. He woke up a while later with a broken legg and asked his mom if they used the paddle things on Wenny too. It was too much so mom started crying and left the room.Will starts writing letters to Wenny in a blank book that the youth minister gave him, and he gets into a lot of trouble trying to make his parents happy again. Icant tell you any more becouse that would ruin it so your just going to have to get the book.
This book makes readers lauph and cry its a great book you would enjoy it, I DID.

In the beging of the story Wenny and her brother was off to the craft store to get patches for the the scout troops so they can get badges made for the leader and the troop. Wenny's brother didn't like her following him, she never played barbie dolls or baby dolls she just wanted to play with his toys and do the things he wanted to do. One day they were on there way back from the craft store from getting the badges when the truck pop over the hill and the truck hit the 2 kids and there cat's tail. When the guy got out of the truck he notice that the little girl was nearly alive and the boy was atill alive so the boy was sent to the hospital and the cat got token to the vet but the sister died on the way there. The guy who was driving the truck sent him a card that was girly saying I'm sorry that i hit your kids and that i will do anything for to help you and your kid