Parody Books

The author should have taken her own advice after writing the first precious, superficial paragraph of this apparently overrated work. A bright sophomore might have offered a more sophisticated treatment of the subject (in fact, I know a couple who have done so). A definite pass.

The Quit couches its philosophical arguments and practical advice in wry humor because its opinions of life are so decidedly in the minority at the moment. However, in a society that valued calm, circumspection and complexity over multi-tasking hyperactivity, Evan Harris would be hailed a major philosopher, and this book's humor would be considered common sense.

The Quit is indeed funny, but it's valuable mainly as a desk reference of practical ethics and a guide to living a sane life. It reminds us that there are always options, and many inviting options begin only when you quit others.

Where else can one find a formal discussion of the simple act of not doing something anymore? of leaving a place? of leaving a person? Perhaps we spend far too much time thinking about all of the things there are to do, and not enough time thinking about stopping those things when they are no longer appealing.

I have always been ashamed of quitting but, as an avowed and now self-celebrated quitter this book was perfect to validate and analyze my methods. Ms. Harris has showed me that quitting is an art with wit and humor

While I know that this book was meant to be funny (and it is), it's really a reminder that there's such a thing as sticking with a bad situation too long. My favorite quote from the author is "The more things you quit, the more things you'll have the opportunity to succeed at." Here's to saying enough's enough. Here's to quitting the old and starting something new. If you're in a rut, buy this book to remind of why quitting isn't so bad.

As a lady I have no business in reading the contents of the Semi-Complete Guide to Sort of Being a Gentleman, but I decided to naughtily peruse the words of Sir Gentleman Brock LaBorde, Esquire.

I find this text to be witty and brilliant- with a gentle dose of dark humor. Each sentence is a wild journey where the end is unknown. This unpredictable creativity has granted me many shocking moments where I lost my breath, but had to find it again in order to express amusement by laughter.

The style of mixing sense with nonsense reminds me of an old favorite, Lewis Carroll. There is usually truth in nonsense, and if there isn't truth then there should at least be great humor (as in the case of Carroll and LaBorde).

The text is a great book to leave on your coffee table, the back of your toilet, or to pass out guised as a Jesus tract to save lives on a street corner.

However you use it, it is definitely a book you should own.

Terrible book that must have been written as a poor joke. Amazon and every similar retailer should remove this book from the shelves. It does not even rank one star although this review could not be provided without a minimum one star ranking.

It was good.
The morality of the Bible is secondary to the narrative revelation of God. In any event its morality is not adhered to by anyone, so it would be well worth reading and living.
I prefer Nobles and Barn to the Jungle people.

Hellos my name Is jethro. Now I may not be the most Attractive man this side of alabama but I sure wasn't getting any help with having one arm. But i order this book with my two weeks pay and boy am I glad I did. The mail lady who gave me this "novel" as some would say was more than attractided to me. But she was my sister and this new law is preventin me and all kinds of folks from that kinda lovin. Any way after a week of reading I was a certified hustler. Now I have women and sometimes men, lining out side my trailer. This book changed my life Now's a days Im drving a ford (yes a ford!) and I have a new house. Thank you gentalmen Brock guy!

Okay. This book! Phew! Wow! What should I say? I'll start from the beginning...

...I met Brock LaBorde in 1999 while waiting for the Gap on highland road in Baton Rouge to open. The summer clothes were put on the clearance rack overnight and news spread through town like SARS in Toronto. By 9:30 the crowd outside had attracted reporters from Tiger Weekly, The Daily Reveille, and the Campus Dirt. Even the cook from "Louie's 24 Hour Cafe" was there (he brought everyone hash browns). Suddenly Brock mentioned that he was writing a book. I was shocked, "A writer? What do you have to write about? You're not oppressed. You're not gay!"

Brock insisted, "I'm a gentleman, and there aren't enough of us out there." He continued to ramble, "I want to class up society! You know; teach men that there are more important things than Golf and Wayne Newton: Bentleys, yachts, and exotic women."

Later, as we tried on cargo pants and argyle sweaters Brock lectured me. I learned more about life and life's pleasures: class, TRUE CLASS, from Gentleman Brock than I had learned throughout my six weeks of study at the Hugh McClintock Men's School for Social and Mental Etiquette.

As we were purchasing our Gap fragrances, I noticed Brock paid with a Platinum ATT student MasterCard. Classy all the way. That's Brock, Gentleman Brock LaBorde, one of a kind.

So, it was no surprise to me, of course, when Brock contacted me in February and offered me a chance to read his book, "Just send me a check or something," he commanded.

Three weeks of mowing lawns and one failed bank heist later, I got my copy of "The Semi-Complete Guide to Sort of Being a Gentleman" in the mail. "YES!" I declared, as I noticed the new issues of Soldier of Fortune and Cat Fancy had arrived the same day. A trifecta. The holy trinity of literature lay on my doorstep. This was one of the greatest days of my life. I believed this to be a cosmic sign that I was invincible that day!

I read all three pieces of literature as I relaxed in a hospital bed following the incidents which occurred on the day I refer to as "the day I thought I was invincible".

I consider myself a well read individual. I've read all the classics, from "The Grapes of Wrath" to "Goosebumps: The Horror at Camp Jellyjam". It is with a well-read authority that I give my full support to "The Semi-Complete Guide to Sort of Being a Gentleman", and confirm its literary genius.

The first part of LaBorde's literary masterpiece contains lessons meant to ready us for the adventure that is life. There are over two thousand topics discussed, including:

- How to put on your pants two legs at a time. While wearing shoes.
- What three words are never appropriate when one attends a dog fight at a NASCAR race?
- Cheap Wine vs. Malt Liquor: Which is appropriate when?
- How to hunt down terrorists.
- How to extort money from terrorists.
- How to escape terrorist sponsoring nations, money in hand, and not let the Internal Revenue Service] know.

The second half of the book includes harrowing stories of international intrigue and epic tales of love, hate, dislike and marginal acceptance. I'm particularly fond of the legend of "Sergi", the one eyed Russian who ran Baton Rouge's largest dumpster diving ring for over 30 years.

LaBorde uses a language as most use a metric wrench set. He's graceful, but scornful; poetic but not vigorous; stern yet ultimately altruistic.

Lee Harvey Oswald once said, "Man, this movie is great! Oh man, the fuzz!" I think that's the best way to describe LaBorde's book. Sort of "Hey, great!" But also sort of, "Hey, not so great?"

What about LaBorde's book is "not so great"? It's simple. LaBorde points out the faults which encompass our miserable lives. We are horrors. We are the worst of the worst, and LaBorde confronts us. He shoves a pile of "us" in our face and shouts, "Fill your nasal passages with your wretched essence!"

OH, THE STENCH!

This brings me back to the Gap on Highland Road in Baton Rouge on that brisk morning back in 1999. When the cook from "Louie's 24 Hour Cafe" brought those hash browns for those waiting in line, what did Brock do? He confronted the cook:

"You fool! Do you not realize this is the Gap? Do you think we want your cholesterol packed carbohydrate nuggets here? What are you trying to do? Kill us? We're the elite! We shop at the Gap! I think you're looking for Old Navy! Now walk your second hand Reebok pumps back to Louies and make us all salads. Bring some diet frescas too."

I think you may begin to understand now; LaBorde can be summed up simply. He is Life's Essential Avant-Garde Philosopher, a Philanthropist, Academician, Writer, Poet, Brahmin, Purveyor of arts, Jude Law stand in, and an American Hero.

In some far off time, perhaps a few millennia, when all the world is cosmic and collapsed, and unimaginably changed, but maybe, conceivably exactly the same; an alien or a human, or some sort of alien-human hybrid master race shall discover LaBorde's book in a clay jar on the barren shores of Lake Borgne and through whatever manner the master race reads, be it through osmosis or visually, or however, it shall discover the genius that is "The Semi-Complete Guide to Sort of Being a Gentleman" and shall hold it in high esteem, possibly as gospel, and shall worship LaBorde as a god.

I suggest, if you want to act as the future alien-human master race that shall shortly conquer our quickly shrinking home planet will act, you get on the LaBorde bandwagon quick. Because Gentleman Brock is a cold-hearted, callous jerk, and if you don't worship his work soon, he won't have mercy on you when the invaders come.

I dunno who Scott Beatty is, but it's certain he has never tried anything in his book. The info on page 2 about "stopping bullets" is riddled with errors. Go ahead, give his advise a try. If you survive, sue him. If you don't, maybe you'll get a Darwin Award.

Guys like Scott Beatty should not be allowed to play with a word processor. By the way, SAPI stands for "Small Arms Protective Insert," not the nonsense he writes.

While Superman may be the greatest superhero ever, this book shows how you can emulate his heroics. The intro states that while Supes has many superpowers, his greatest power is his ability and desire to help mankind. This isn't a book on the lines of others that are humorous in assuming the world of superpowers are real. This book is more of a good samaritan's survival guide on how you can help out yourself and others in certain types of emergencies such as saving a drowning victim, stopping a runaway car, and help someone choking to mundane events like jumpstarting a car, changing a tire, fixing a leaky pipe, and rescuing a kitten from a tree. While using pretty simplistic scenarios, this book tries to help instill in mankind how to emulate the kindness and heroism of the likes of Superman. Thrown in for the Superman fans are little comic facts about our last son of Krypton. It's a great how to help people guide but extra training is obviously needed for some of the situations presented.

Being Superman isn't just wearing your underwear on the outside, putting on a cape and attaching a giant S to your chest. You've got to know how to knock out a villain, break down a door, tackle a runaway goon, tie up henchmen, dodge and block bullets, leap in a single bound, perform various rescues such as runaway cars, cars teetering over an edge, quicksand, wild animals, someone drowning or caught in a rip, trapped under heavy objects and many other things. This manual also teaches the reader CPR, treat cuts, bites, burns, broken bones and other first aid although you really should do a first aid course to get the latest (how to save a chocking victim Heimlich Maneuver is not what you do these days). The manual also has instructions on how to change a tyre, put out a fire, stop a leak, fix an electrical outage, save a kitten from a tree and other handy skills to have.

As long as the reader can differentiate between when the novel is speaking specifically about superman and when it is the real world, then this actually is quite a useful and helpful book if ever faced with these problems. It isn't as good as competitors such as The Action Hero's Handbook by David Borgenicht and Joe Borgenicht if learning these skills is the sole purpose of buying the book, so if you are not much of a fan of Superman then get that instead. However there is not much difference and the background info on Superman and comics will sway the decision to The Superman Handbook for fans. There is is also a Batman Handbook if you prefer the caped crusader.

If you know nothing about Superman except that he wears red and blue tights and fights for truth, justice and the American way, you'll still enjoy this book. Like Beatty's equally brilliant Batman Handbook, the Superman Handbook explains all the techniques regular people can do to save lives. At the same time, it also gives you a primer on Superman's abilities, allies, villains and more, and it even teaches you how to speak Bizarro. So on that note, me hate this book and me not recommend it to no one. (If you don't get it, you will once you read the book!)

The introduction dutifully notes that The Superman Handbook is a work of fiction. That it is, but still with honest to goodness, real, and accurate advice for aspiring heroes everywhere. Yes, you will learn how to block and dodge bullets, break down doors, rundown a bad guy, and rescue those in dire need from floods, fires, avalanches, and more...all without the aid of real super powers.

The book is cleverly written by Scott Beatty with art by John Delany, Dave Cooper and Terry Beatty. The book combines a look at Superman lore with real life advice on survival and life-saving techniques and proves that you don't need to be faster than a speeding bullet and more powerful than a locomotive to be a superhero...you just need to know what to do in a given situation. For example, do you need to break down a door? The handbook tells you how. Don't waste time banging your shoulder into it...as the book explains a well placed kick exerts far greater force than your shoulder. You're also advised to find the door's "sweet spot" where the latch meets the door frame...all the better to bust it down don't you know.

How about blocking bullets? Yes, you too can block bullets provided you have the proper equipment such as a riot shield made of unbreakable Lexan polycarbonate (bullet proof glass) or a Kevlar vest, or ceramic body armor. The book explains each of these items in laymen's terms.

The section on Super Rescues tells how to save people from such predicaments as rip tides, quicksand, floods, and burning buildings. It even includes more exotic rescues like saving someone from a teetering car or hanging from a building. The Next section on Saving the Day includes practical first aid advice on how to perform CPR, treat cuts, animal bites, burns, broken limbs, help a victim who is choking, having a seizure, or been poisoned.

Throughout the book bits of Superman lore are introduced on his various powers, greatest villains, most super saves, and more, just to keep things light. Whether you're a Superman fan or not, you'll find solid advice in the handbook, related in an informal style. Great job.

Reviewed by Tim Janson

Tamagotchis are cool, and it is too bad that there are no more. Great Book!

i love tamagotchies and this book is very funny, i espically like the name section! I DID IT FOR A SCHOOL BOOK REPORT AND THE TEACHER LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!

This book lives up to its' title in full. There is nothing in this book that could be useful. It does have a Tamagotchi name section, but they are all spelled wrong. It is a waste of a reader's time. I would not recommend it to any one.

I am a faithful Tamagotchi obsessee and bought this book in 1997. I enjoyed it's great humor, and even took some of it's sarcastic suggestions seriously -- just for fun! The book is amusing, and a fun way to indulge in your own obsession, and to laugh at yourself. :o)

This book is a great and humorous book for a new owner of a Tamagotchi. It teaches virtual parents how to raise their virtual pets from an egg, to childhood, to adolescence, to adulthood, and to death. It tells how to prepare for this glorius, yet tragic moment. This book contains many songs, rhymes, and other useless, but entertaining information.

i was given this as a gift. I read it. I liked it. It's funny. that's about all i have to say. well done

This father son team has struck gold again with their third book, "The Ultimate Counterterrorist Home Companion." This book is laugh-out-loud hilarious. If you haven't read their other two books, "The Dog Ate My Resume" and "The Bad Driver's Handbook," run to buy them...you won't be sorry. Each page is funnier than the next! Anything from this fantastic duo is bound to be pure excellence.

I can't begin to describe where this book goes wrong. Perhaps it's the ridiculous layout that has large typewriter font identifying each ludicrously verbose titled chapter (Making Your Own Color-Coded Terrorism Alert Chart: Is Heightened Danger of Radiation Exposure More of a Lavender of a Robin's Egg Blue?) Or perhaps that the authors think their book is funny because they resort to just throwing in a bunch of lowest common liberal denominator jokes.

The intended goal of the book is how to defend you and your family from potential terrorist attacks. Between quizzing weird friends your children bring home, training your dog to detect anthrax, and mastering grapple holds with kitchen utensils, the book is simultaneously vapid and spastic.

What author honestly titles section three of their book, "A Bunch of Chapters We Decided to Put in Section Three"?

Humorist Max Brooks was successful is his foray into survival guides with his brilliant "The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead" because he made the reader feel as though the zombie threat was real. The terrorist threat in Zack and Larry Arnstein's book isn't treated as real, but is seen as a farce. The various checklists and visual jokes in "Counterterrorist" are belly-flops of jokes. The book is brutally unfunny sans for some anagrams ("Patriot Act" is "taco rat pit").

It's easy to see "The Ultimate Counterterrorist Home Companion" becoming a last minute holiday gift for some unfortunate soul this holiday season. For once, let's hope the terrorists win and keep this book out of your hands.

Humor is elusive, hard to define, but the Arnsteins' new book unmistakably has it in spades. It's simply nonstop funny. Like all good satire, though, the book has plenty of bite - and targets eminently worthy of being bitten. Many of said targets hang around Washington, finding ways to use the terrorist threat to further their own political ends. Better to laugh than cry, and the father-and-son Arnstein team helps us do just that. With their earlier "The Dog Ate My Resume" and "The Bad Driver's Handbook," this makes a perfect trifecta - on an edgier, more important subject.

The Arnstein twins (father and son) have struck again, and turned the hat trick in their latest outing. From lessons in slackerhood (The Dog Ate My Resume) to ways to get even with humanity on your way to work (The Bad Driver's Handbook), they now turn their attention to the Topique de Jour, terrorism, and bring it right home to Mom and Pop America. In 34 hard-hitting chapters, they do more to bolster our personal security than the DHS has done in six years. How to Build a Moat was worth the price of the book by itself. And every American owes it to their family to take the "Are You A Terrorist?" survey.

But seriously, folks, good satire is hard to find in these humorless, Republican days, unless you are lucky enough to fall into the pages of an Arnstein rant. Their latest is a gem, and a steal at $12.95.

How do?

The name's Dr. Verne Edstrom, Esq. -- literary giant, petty thief, and self-help advisor to the stars. This here's my book.

I wrote it to help all yous trash out there. Say you got an important question, like how to make your fourteen-year-old cousin unpregnant, or who you should kidnap if you're aiming to impress a woman. You think you're gonna ask Dr. Laura about that? Her face would explode and her makeup would catch fire. Pretty soon you burned down eleven states, but you still don't know who you're supposed to abduct.

Me, I was figuring to help folks rise up from under the viaduct so's they could do better robberies, get themselves more marriages, and start living the life of luxury in a nice doublewide where the heat always works and the cupboards is always filled with liquor and ammo.

And if you ain't buying that explanation, here's a better one: I got eight or ten kids. Seeing as how the missus is built like an ore boat, the smart money says she's good for a half-dozen more. So if you don't buy my book, I don't get no money, which means eight to ten kids is gonna be loose on the streets, stealing your car stereo.

And any moron knows a book is cheaper than a car stereo. That's just good financial thinking.

Dr. Verne Edstrom, Esq.
Cleveland, America

A co-worker of mine strongly recommended "White Trash Etiquette" on a recent business trip, and was kind enough to let me borrow his copy. I read it cover-to-cover in my hotel room, and spent a good chunk of time chuckling at Dr. Verne's musings on life. This is a very, very funny book. It's quite original -- I've seen nothing like it. Dr. Verne shares his wisdom on all sorts of funny issues ranging from scams to sports to love. Dr. Verne's take on life is downright hilarious. This is a great book for a cover-to-cover read, or for someone who just has bits of time and wants to have a quick laugh. This book will definitely put a smile on your face.

This book was really funny and a good relaxing read. Especially if you like the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.

I had high hopes for this book. They were dashed. It's mostly a series of "tests" to determine what to do and "letters" about surreally unbelievable situations. For this book, "white trash" implies that burglary is the preferred career, everybody has four or more husbands/wives over time and innumerable dalliances beyond, and any carnal urge results in children who must be taught how to burgle.

It's just not funny, and has nothing in common with Jeff Foxworthy or David Barry writing about similar topics.

Got dis hear fur my paw an his comun law wyfe. Dey said dey lurned em sum impotent stuff n how ta get along with all them uther folks in day trayler park. Day got more frends din evur beefor. thankin yall fur sellin me dis an my paw thanks ya too. sory fur the spelin. my cumpooter is kinna old. bye fur now, gott ta go wach restlin.

In the chapter named "Death" there are two quotes credited to Benjamin Siegel that probably should have been credited to Louis "Little Lepke" Buchhalter. He was the only prohibition era gangster that was sentanced to the Electric Chair. Benny Siegel was killed in Virgina Hill's livingroom, as was noted in the Cast of characters at the end of the book. Somewhere the author or the proofreader slipped up on the job.

Very Funny book. Listen to many not so bright people come up with some not so bright things to say.

I thought this book would be more interesting. I personally think that if there were more background given to some of the quotes it would be better. Instead it's just one quote after another. I would have like to know in what context they were spoken. I've read alot worse ,but i've also read alot better from this author.

This book is great fun, and is loaded with many humorous and/or insightful quotes. I just want to point out one error: on Page 47, three quotes about the electric chair are incorrectly attributed to Bugsy Siegel. Bugsy Siegel was never sentenced to death (at least not by any court of law). He was shot to death by the mob in 1947 in Hollywood. The "Bugsy" who actually said the things quoted in the book was Martin "Buggsy" (spelled with two G's) Goldtsein, who went to the chair at Sing Sing in 1941. He was one of the Murder, Inc. hit men sold out by Abe "Kid Twist" Reles, who is mentioned in one of the quotes.

capeci must have combed through thousands of pages to gather this assortment of mafia quotes. it's hard to believe that they are all real! i never realized that mobsters could be so philosophical--or funny. some quotes even made me laugh out loud. this also makes a great gift for friends and family.

If you are looking for symbolism or imagery I might suggest a different book, but for some of the funniest quotes this side of Yogi Berra I definitly recommed "Bushisms". (Of course if you are a big Bush/Republican fan AND have NO sense of humor this one may not be for you.)

When it comes to public speaking, most modern presidents have their speeches written for them. But when the time arrives for them to speak their own thoughts, take cover. In "Bushisms", the editors of the 'New Republic' have collected some choice examples of the 41st president's sometimes incomprehensible, often hilarious words of wisdom. A sample: "When I need some free advice about Saddam Hussein, I turn to country music." You may not believe this phrase and others far more zany were spoken by the commander-in-chief, but you will be rolling on the floor in laughter

I though this was George W's gaffes, but it turns out his father mispoke quite a bit himself. A little bit too politically motivated, these people obviously had no idea how much worse things could get when his son would be elected, er, annointed, or ah, democratically- you know what I mean!

Is intelligence learned or inherited? It's a question that has puzzled scientists and philosophers since the beginning of time. On the one hand, you can argue that this book proves the latter conviction, since it's obvious that Papa Bush is as grammatically challenged as baby Bush, but on the other hand, who taught Baby to speak? Seriously though, this book is hilarious, a welcome companion piece to more recent versions attacking the more recent Bush. I've owned it since it came out and it still makes me laugh. If you can find it, buy it.

It may be late to get this hilarious little gem for your loved ones for Chrismukkah 2006, but that shouldn't stop you from stocking up for next year while you can. Kuntzman explores the ancient roots of this famous holiday, and brings you along for the ride. It's time to start reciting this story to our young ones as part of the Chrismukkah tradition it should be. I finished this book with the warm holiday sense that there really ISN'T a war against Chrismukkah. Oh Happy Day(s)!
For extra Chrismukkah spirit, don't miss Gersh's delightful singing on his Chrismukkah video on YouTube.

I laughed my way through most of this book. The one-liners and hillarious anecdotes come at you fast and furious, but Kuntzman also gets at something deeper that anyone in a mixed marriage will appreciate. Really, how are we supposed to deal with the Hannukah/Christmas clash? This book may not provide the ultimate answer, but it will get you thinking -- and you'll have a lot of fun at the same time.

This is a very funny book, perfect for a hannukah gift (especially for those in mixed marriages). While it hillariously tackles such topics as the beginnings of chrismukkah, famous half-jews in history, recipes and songs, it also serves as a gentle reminder of how farsical and commercialized some of our christmas and hannuka traditions are.

I was disappointed with this book because it is entirely gimmick. There's no soul to this book, so there's nothing real for mixed-faith couples to embrace to handle the December Dilemma in their lives. Is it funny at times? Sure. But it gets old. And I have to admit, I was a little offended at Kuntzman's inclusion of pork in his recipes. I liked Ron Gompertz's Chrismukkah much better. If there is an "official" guide to this holiday, that should be it. If you want an entertaining, comprehensive, smart, hysterical and historical book on the subject, check out Chrismukkah by Ron Gompertz.

A very quick read but nothing new, noteworthy, or compelling here. It brings an occasional smile but falls far short of its billing.

An absolute must for your collection, coffee table or gift occassion. A delightful insight into our "religious beliefs" that will pivot the reader into an introspectful hilarious approach to "our" beliefs. McNair is a wonder and a genius!

Mcnair Wilson is a genius. I could not stop laughing once I opened this book. I had to take a break because I was so exhausted from laughing. Mcnair accurately portrays the problems with Americanized Christianity in a very humorous but still convicting way. Mcnair understands the healing and freedom that comes from being able to laugh at ourselves. For anyone who grew up going to church or avoids church religiously, this book is for you. You will enjoy Mcnair's wisdom and humor, and you might end up a little freer on the other side.

Because of my purposeful separation of religion (my beliefs), pleasure and business, I am not often "moved" to discuss, or even read, books of this nature. However, my godchild was visiting and had just experienced Craig McNair Wilson "live" and had purchased his book. I picked it up - and couldn't put it down. He has an incredible approach to imparting his message with humor, criticism and profundity. The meat of this book lies in McNair's ability to discuss the Bible and Christianity without elevating himself - and relating to it on a practical level. It is hysterical - and meaningful. Real-life words with open criticism to some beliefs and practices. Great for teens and older. Easy reading - great cartoons.