Way Books

Reviewed by Olivera Baumgartner-Jackson for Reader Views (12/07)

My usual reaction to this kind of self-help book is somewhere along the lines of, "And exactly what does he/she thinks he/she knows about MY marriage?" More often than not, I either find them all too preachy or too simplistic to help me solve any particular problems I might have encountered in my personal life, so they end up in a book swap meeting or a book swap site. Ms. Bartlein's "Why Did I Marry You Anyway?" seemed to be different from the very start and after I read it, I immediately found a permanent place for it in my collection.

My attention was first caught by title - "Why Did I Marry You Anyway?" By the time I read the subtitle, "Overcoming the Myths That Hinder a Happy Marriage," I was definitely intrigued. If you are married and if you are totally honest with yourself, I bet there were times in your life when you asked yourself the exact same question. There are moments when we are not so sure that we made the right decision or simply moments when we look at our beloved partner and have to wonder where in the world - or even the outer realm - did this particular behavior came from and what did the person in front of us do with our normally sweet husband and wife.

Ms. Bartlein cleverly touches on most common problem areas in a marriage; such as money, sex, children, annoying personal habits, in-laws, lack of shared interests and more. Offering tools for recognition of issues as well as the resolution of them, each chapter includes real-life examples, absolutely hilarious quotes and thought-provoking myths that could potentially harm your relationship. Unlike most other books, the examples and patterns listed by Ms. Bartlein definitely made me pay attention and I had to admit that - oh wonder of wonders! - I was not perfect and that I was actually guilty of several quite distinct behavioral patterns. Which ones? Well, I am definitely a stamp collector - but if you want to find out what that means in terms of marriage, you'll have to get the book and read it for yourself. It is most probably NOT what you are imagining right now...

I found Barbara Bartlein's "Why Did I Marry You Anyway?" a very informative and down-to-Earth guide to improving a marriage; and as such I would highly recommend it to anybody who sincerely desires a happy relationship with their spouse. Just leave it on the table and see how quickly he - or she - will react to the title... Joking aside, this is truly a keeper; and a book that might well improve other aspects of your life besides your marriage.

I read this book in one day and laughed out loud hundreds of times. I enjoyed the author's comments about her husband and raising her kids. She is an experienced marriage counselor and she tells her observations in general, along with stories of clients who have asked her for help. She was very sincere and down to earth. Her advice is practical and the recommendations are ones that any man or woman can use in his or her marriage. I would recommend this book to anyone who has been married for a year or longer. Single people would not appreciate the jokes.

I would recommend this book to anyone looking for quick tips to make marriage easier. It's a quick read, and really gets to the point quickly. The tips provided are realistic and easy to implement. The examples in the book are practical though not all may apply. It's simple to skip to parts that do apply to you. This author gives the impression that she is very open, honest and really wants her tips to help. I would buy this book again.

Married just under two months, I found myself laughing out loud in the doctor's office and waking my husband from his sleep to share the laughter of Charlie Oatmeal's latest tomfoolery. This book has two outstanding qualities: it's real and it's funny. Barbara Bartlein forces us to step down from our high horses and take a look in the mirror in a way that isn't threatening. She's genuine in admitting her own guilt and struggle every step of the way. Secondly, if she doesn't make you laugh, her husband certainly will. I felt a deep connection not only with Bartlein and her husband, but with all married couples. It has provoked countless discussions between my husband and I and inspired me to let things roll off my back and keep things in their proper perspective. It's easy to pick up and tough to set down- a book I'm certainly going to keep around for when the laundry pile is higher and the load a bit heavier. There's something in this book for everyone! You'll find yourself shaking your head often.

While on a long car trip, my husband notice me reading Barbara Barlein's Why Did I Marry You Anyway? To help pass the time, he suggested I read it aloud. I was amazed at his interest and his desire for me to stop and discuss passages with him. He even stated that he was getting a lot out of it. Many issues we had never discussed came to the fore and were patiently worked out. I was very impressed, not only with the material presented in this book, but in the fun way it was presented and the ease that it could be used as a basis for good discussion.

I highly reccomend this book. It clearly defines what is going on with teens and why....amazing that most teens have the same behaviors....and this is why. A must book for all parents.

I have ordered probably dozens of books on Amazon.com and never felt compelled to write a review of a book.

I have a 13 year old girl and although we have not yet experieced any serious behavior issues (she has exhibited some unexplainable verbal outbursts and moodiness) I want to do everything in my power to maintain a good relationship with her and limit the chances that she does experience serious issues like drug and alcohol abuse, anorexia, depression, etc. as she goes through these difficult years.

I have read many books, and feel this is the first book that has enabled me to have an understanding of teen behavior and feel confident my husband and I have a game plan on how to deal with the various issues which will arise.

I suggest that anyone who comes into contact with teens--parents, teachers, etc.--read this book!!!

Dr. Walsh, your book was recommended to me last week, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it from cover to cover. As I read your analysis of how adolescent brain development and chemistry impact teen behaviors, I was better able to understand the academic reasoning behind my new teen self-help book "What Your Mother Never Told You: A Survival Guide For Teenage Girls." What Your Mother Never Told You: A Teenage Girls Survival Guide

I am not an expert trained in psychology or child development, but I found myself reading the thoughts and passion in my book in almost every page of yours! "Why Do They Act That Way" is the first book written for parents of teens that I fully appreciate. You explain to parents in digestible scientific terms, what I have tried so hard to explain to the teens in their own language. Your book in it's entirety, beautifully articulates and clarifies everything I try to communicate, and so much more, in the five page "Letter to Parents, Caregivers, and Counselors" at the beginning of my book.

Although our respective books target different audiences, the combination of the two books give both the scientific and practical advice that will have a definite positive impact on the quality of life for both teens and parents of teens. I intend to recommend your book at every opportunity.

David Walsh is very readable, has a strong sense of humor necessary to deal with the teen psyche, and speaks well to frustrated parents about why their kids do what they do, and how to look at from their perspective and then deal with it more effectively. It's a fun read.

We have found this book to be extremely helpful. Raising a teenager is an amazing experience and it helps to have some expert, non partial advice that is backed by research. We especially appreciated the fact that the author does not offer excuses, but helps everyone remain responsible for their behavior, including parents. It was so helpful for us that we bought it as a gift for two different families that are raising teenagers. It was passed on to us by another family that is raising teenagers. Parents are looking for sound instruction. This book provides great insight to what is really going on inside those mysterious heads.

it is a very good book to read. every time you will find something new, and you will not board. this book is not looks like any selling books it is easy to read, understand and remmebers so have fun. sayed omar - AUC - Egypt

The Zen of Selling filled me not only with the spirit of how to accomplish life goals but it gave me a solid feel to improve my selling. I remember last summer reading the stories aloud to a friend. Me and my friend were enjoying the day taking a boat ride in Central park. As I breathed in the day the clarity Stan gave me made my day complete. A day that I will never forget. Thank you, you are talented man 17.

I am completely captivated by this gentle little book, and I urge you to look past the sometimes-dirty word "selling" in the title. Look instead to the subtitle for the real substance you'll get from reading The Zen of Selling.

Stan Adler tells a number of tales, often introduced and always given meaning by Stan's friend and wise man, Victor. From lessons on balance, appearance, situational ethics and perseverance we learn that the sales process is not a checklist, but a metaphor for living life in the service of others. Adler brings a sense of mild irony to many of his stories; I'm a sucker for a good ironic tale.

As a talk show host, I've been treated amazingly well by the salespeople who knew my name and my occupation. For those salespeople who didn't know what they were doing and treated me poorly, I've never made it a point to say anything bad about them on the air. What I am doing for them these days is admonishing them to get this book and learn their craft, not simply appear at their station. The Zen of Selling is worth ten times the sales price - buy it now before the rest of your competitors do.

There's not much Zen in this book, and all the Zen that is in this book is in the 4-page introduction.

This book talks about Stan's imaginary friend, Victor, who knows everything, everyone, and has done everything. In addition to that, Victor is a great salesman, who has made all the mistakes earlier on so he now knows everything. So, Victor is the guy who you learn all of the sales lessons from.

It's pretty good with the sales concepts. It focuses on relationship selling, and I thought it gave some good lessons and examples.

It's written in a fictional and narrative style, so it's easier to digest than a sales "textbook."

Stan Adler's THE ZEN OF SELLING is a masterpiece of practical philosophy. Yes, it's a book about sales techniques, but it's also a book about being a good person. Typical of the philosopher's approach is Adler's maxim: "When you are doing something for someone else, you are always at your best. . .and that certainly includes people who sell." Plato, Aristotle, and Confucius would agree.

Good people are, by nature, good sales representatives. They understand that selling is not an adversarial relationship, but a cooperative one. "Forget the selling," says Adler. "Let the customer do the buying." In short, the salesperson is the guide, the director, the facilitator--not the marketing hero. A successful sales campaign is really an affirmation of values that the buyer and seller hold in common.

THE ZEN OF SELLING breaks new ground in the commercial world. As such, Adler's book is not a sales primer, but a meditation on sales. In a fascinating collection of stories, maxims, and anecdotes, Adler reminds us that effective salespeople are well versed in the art of "understanding customers as people."

In Adler's world, "Victor" is the protypical sales success. He is a diplomat, a philosopher, and a friend. He understands that "sales" is really another word for "affirmation." Victor is the voice of understanding, the voice of patience, the voice of reason in an overly competitve business climate. Victor's message is clear: People who help others will also be successful. The same rule applies in sales.

Stan Adler's THE ZEN OF SELLING is an important contribution--a book that is both inspirational and practical. But when you visit your local bookstore, do not assume that THE ZEN OF SELLING is shelved with other books on sales. Look around. You just might find Adler's book in the Philosophy section.

--Dr. Thomas Nash, Senior Professor of Ethics and Philosophy, Churchill Honors Program, Southern Oregon University

A complementary approach to therapy which helps one put into words on paper their thoughts which seems to be a helpful outlet to understanding the Self.

The 12 Steps: A way out:A spiritual process for Healing.
I am very pleased with my purchase. All books were new from Amazon. I was very impressed with the speed in delivery and I saved on shipping. I order these same books 3 or 4 times a year.

This book, worked in a group, any group desiring to make changes in their life, will change anyone to be a better person and in believing in spiritual being. I have been in a group for 12 years using this book. I can speak very enthusiastically about this.....if a person wants to know who they really are.

I started recommending this book to clients back in the 80s, when the first edition came out. There is a reason it's still in print and widely available after all these years.

The 12 Step: A Way Out is a spectacular book that combines the process of the 12 Step programs with the critical spiritual aspects of recovery that often take years to extract out of secular based 12 programs. The book focuses on the healing power of God in the recovery process and gently guides the reader through a spiritual recovery process. Biblical citation are given for every prinicple in the 12 step program and are useful for Christian who desires to maintain a biblical perspective to their recovery. The book is an essential tool for the recovery process and gives the reader a unique view and relationship with God throughout recovery.

This book was so inspring when I first read it when it litteraly first came out and it always lifted my spirits, I still use it while i'm in the teen yars.

We all know where 'Real Beauty' comes from. Why not start your young lady out early in learning that beauty is more than skin deep? Help the preteen in your life be more selfconfident and beautiful by knowing how to accomplish this elusive trait.

If you have a young girl in your family circle, I urge you to give her a copy of Real Beauty: 101 Ways to Feel Great About You (American Girl Library.) I promise you that the benefits will be of lifelong value! If more girls had this sense of self-worth, we would have fewer eating disorders, schoolyard bullying, distorted body images, and other issues that plague the lives of teens -- and adults.

Simply put, this book is worth its weight in gold.

I read it first, and I am looking forward to reading it again with my granddaughter.

Whenever I feel bad about myself, hating myself, etc, I pick up this book and start reading it. Then I feel good about myself. Of course, though, I don't really need braces yet but I will when I'm 12! The book gives you lots of information on how to eat healthy, exercise, and if you are maybe 10-15, it tells you what to put in your back pack if you get pimples, your period starts, etc. I DEFINITELY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK! P.S I am ten years old.

He has done it again. I love this man. I can relate to him so much. He has given me the desire to change my life.

Pray it Forward: Spiritual Growth Meditations

Pray it Forward: Daily Meditations

I've come across this Jewel of a book after reading "The Greatest Salesman in the World" This little handbook of rules to live by is the only set of rules you will ever need to lead a wonderful life. I laughed and cried while reading because his writings ring so true. How fortunate of me to have come across such a wonderful little book that can transform anyone's life for the better. Read it, enjoy it, apply it to your life and enjoy all that life has to offer you.

Og Mandino is the greatest inspirational writer of our time! This book is just another example of what a fine human being he was! I just hope there's someone out there to continue his legacy. A really great read!

Illustrative with many of his inspiring and life changing stories, Og Mandino tells us in this book, that "we have forgotten one of the basic facts of life. When we were given dominion over this world, we were also given dominion over ourselves. We are our own navigators. It was never God's intention to chart a map for each of us." "Life is a game" he also says, "it's spiritual, mysterious and precious." But in order to play the game you have to know the rules.
Seventeen rules (to be exact) to live by in order to lead a better way to live.
This book can easily be read in one afternoon. As you start the book you will be invited by the author to sit down and relax in his company as he takes on the role of a racconteur, as only Og Mandino does best.

I have read everyone of Og Mandinos Books and all I can say is that he writes with brilliance, clarity, enthusiasm, and spirit. You can never go wrong with any of his books. He points out the path to success and motivates the spirit within to achieve all that we as human beings are capable. He helped me to tap into my innate genuis and create a life of prosperity and creativity. If you havent raed his books, start now and your journey of the spirit will begin. He was a born writer and even after his passing continues to have a great influence on many people old and young. He truly lived a purposeful and divine life. Go buy all his books and enjoy the growth and enlightenment. After that Buy my Book " Your daily Walk with the Great Minds of the Past and Present". Enjoy and rememeber you are capable of great things in your life.

For those desiring a 'meat & potatoes' study of the Middle Way, this is an excellent book.

Nagarjuna: Theory and Practice

Nagarjuna was a philosopher of unparalleled excellence, both in the East and the West, and Garfield has presented his Mulamadhyamakakarika with clarity, competence and coherence. If you like philosophy, and are a serious spiritual seeker with an inclination for The Perennial Philosophy, then this book is for you. However, you will need determination and perseverance to finish this book, for it will take you six months to a year to master its contents.

Here is a sample of Nagarjuna's tactics. He begins by attacking causality. He dissects causality down to its root premises (a thing is caused by itself, by another, by both, or has no cause) and then he closely scrutinizes those root premises and demonstrates that none of them possess any "potency", or power, to force, stimulate, compel, oblige, constrain, drive, make or cause anything to come into existence. Therefore, they are "empty". That is, they have no inherent self-nature or essence to affect anything else. They are like Mother Hubbard's cupboard, there is nothing there. Therefore, if the causes are "empty", the thing created is "empty". But all that is theory.

But what about in practice?. Reading this book will change your thinking. You will unconsciously become a Skeptic, and will not be aware of the state of your own mind until you ponder an issue found in Nagarjuna's treatise. Only then will you realize that you are stuck between three equally unsatisfactory propositions "Things exist", "Things do not exist" and "Things both do and do not exist." Not to worry though. You will be experiencing precisely what Nagarjuna intended.

Garfield specifically declares Nagarjuna's intention, page 314, "This, of course, is the key to the soteriological character of the text: reification is the root of grasping and craving and hence of all suffering. And it is perfectly natural, despite its incoherence. By understanding emptiness, Nagarjuna intends one to break this habit and extirpate the root of suffering."

Next to the Heart Sutra (Maha Prajna Paramita Hridaya Sutra), one of the most important writings for Mahayana Buddhists, and this is a good translation and commentary (there is Ocean of Reasoning, but that is way, way too massive and far more than what is necessary). Stick with the basics and simplicity, I always say. For a book of this magnitude, pick this one. You'll have enough to study while still coming to grips with its message.

i have not studied all of nagarjunas logic carefully in this book, it seems that he is arguing for the underlying emptiness of all things on the basis of his assumption of dependent or mutual arising. perhaps its a bit more complicated than this though. a cup of tea is not a cup of tea in itself. nor does the teabag have any individual or inherent identity, rather the teabag is a collection of collections without any individuality. just as my finger is a collection of cells, so a teabag is a combination of dependent things. infact he believes that everything depends on the presence or absence of something else. tea leaves depend on the presence of tanins, flavins, cells, maturation, drying, there is nothing inherently existent that could be called the individuality of the teabag. this of course defies common sense, but is reasonable. why cannot a collection be at one and the same time an individuality. ie one in many, or many as one. such an argument though would be contrary to nagarjunas thrust, which is to emphasise the existence of emptiness through dependence. ie everything that is dependent has no individual uniqueness (or soul) since all individuals are merely collections.

i am still studying nagarjuna, it seems that a statement such as "walker is not the same as walking, nor is it different from walking" can be argued any way which can. "walker is not the same as walking, if it were how could the two be told apart, nor is walker different from walking, or otherwise there would be walking without walker." it could be argued on the grounds of oneness that walker and walking are one and the same, that structure and function are inseperable. you could just as easily say that walker is the same as walking and that is why there isnt walking without walker. if nagarjuna says that legs are not the same as arms because they can be told apart he is right, because they can be told apart, but wrong because arms and legs are all part of one body and cannot be separated. so paradoxically one can say that walker and walking are not the same, but one can also say that they are the same (the same body/oneness).

it can be argued that walker is walking, walker is not walking, and as nagarjuna says walker is not the same as, nor different from walking. infact whatever you seek to prove, if you are clever enough, you can prove it. this is the nature of reason and logic. a donkey that is lead by the carrot of the person who possesses it.

i find his logic is clear (it is)infact, it is pure genius, but as with all logic one has to realise that at this moment logic is thoroughly illogical. though perhaps when he wrote it was thoroughly logical. logic being logical? logic being illogical? two sides of the same coin. if logical can be illogical why discuss something as important as emptiness using logic? this defies a common understanding of nagarjuna, unless of course he wished to impress buddhist emptiness upon the minds of the common people. or, perhaps he really did believe in the immutable logos (reason) of plato. that insoluble all pervasive notion of truth. personally i see that reason has its uses (many of them groundbreaking and earth shattering), but can often be used to say what you want, especially when it comes to philosophy.

i find the argument for emptiness grounded in dependent arising 'can' be compelling, or not compelling. its just how you approach it. in that a collection does not necessarily indicate an individuality, it could be seen as a collective, for example a sea sponge colony 'may' have no singular conscious individuality as the colony as a whole, but then a human being is a collection with a consciousness . but as i see it, dependent arising could be used as a proof against emptiness just as much as a proof for it. i believe that the buddha would have days where he took time out from such an approach, that is he would respect the agile logical display of nagarjuna, but have said "not on mondays nagarjuna" (but only if you dont mind my friend).

i dont think that the buddha was about dogmatising certain concepts and words such as emptiness, as useful as they may be. even freedom can become an obstacle to relationship and his word "liberation" can be in buddhism taken to mean many different things. it may just be that mental freedom and freedom from suffering are synonymous. emptiness is representative of water and air, but one should not forget the presence of fire, or gold (earth)(male elements)that are representative of fullness/form. to argue away form for emptiness seems unbalanced. just as to argue away emptiness for form would be unbalanced, though it may be an interesting excercise (and not too difficult). infact rising to the challenge if one looks in minute detail/huge magnification at an area of space one will find it a quantum soup, and not nearly as empty as one expected. infact buddha is implacable when he says emptiness is form for this could imply that there is no emptiness, only form. or visa-versa one could argue that all is empty.

i have also read nagarjunas, i think its called the flower garland, which was less a discussion of emptiness and logical proof for such, though his approach in the middle way comes across in this book too. no, i remember now its called the discourse of the precious flower garland.

i realise that my comments on nagarguna's mulamadhyamakakarika may seem disrespectful regarding the buddhist saint, and have no desire to show disrespect, but i do feel that all in all, though brilliant his arguments are not compelling ground for emptiness. this is because i am aware of the bias behind reason. there are other ways to illustrate emptiness. the buddhas "emptiness is form" for example is a much clearer statement of anti-logic, that i find very elegant. also the prescence of the zero in any effective numerical system requires a hypothetical emptiness.

i have no doubt that in the original tongue nagarjuna was a marvellous poet, sadly this does not come across in this translation or in "verses from the centre" a different translation of the same work. perhaps, in his poetic form his genius would have shone out as much as it does from his rational genius.

this is an interesting book to read, a fascinating insight into the mind of an early buddhist saint and an example of how one can use logic to prove anything, even that which intuitively seems almost impossible. but personally i dont feel it tells me anything, other than showing patterns of logic, which are a useful thing to aquire. i must say though that i am 'astonished' by the mans logical dexterity.

i would have found nagarjuna more interesting if he had tried to prove the existence of form and balanced this with a proof for the existence of emptiness. for in truth it is not balanced to prove the existence of emptiness without proving the existence of form. and you cannot prove the existence of emptiness without proving the existence of form, for emptiness is form. it can be argued that all is emptiness, but it can also be argued that all is form. whatever you look for is whatever you find. such is the nature of reality. seek and you will find.

infact... making things fun, and killing the buddhas word, i would say that "form is not emptiness, form is form" is just as true as "emptiness is form". this is the buddas freedom. playing with logic, one does not take reason too seriously on mondays, but... aah, on tuesdays it is profoundly important.

thank you nagarjuna for the encouragement you have given many.

love, flakey xxx.

Before you stare at a wall to practice suchness, you may want to spend some time acquainting yourself with this philosophical presentation that justifies your practice.

It will be no easy task. Both Nagarjuna's text and Garfield's commentary are challenging: I'm sure that would be true for the Western philosophers Garfield's commentary is targeted to and it certainly was for me as a lay person. But I persisted in what often seemed repetitious and tedious to find enough interspersed wisdom to make my patient reading worthwhile. This is not a book I could comfortably have browsed. Without Garfield's commentary, I might have quickly read over Nagarjuna's verses and believed I had understood much of it. Despite much that seemed cryptic, I'd have thought myself well educated in dependent origination, impermanence, emptiness, the self and other key Buddhist concepts. But, if I did that, I may have missed about 99% of what Garfield found therein.

A Sanskrit text by Nagarjuna translated into Tibetan and then into English by Garfield. A commentary informed by a tradition of Tibetan teachings. Understandings which may enrich one's meditation ... on emptiness. It is humbling to consider that Nagarjuna composed his verses in India about the 2nd century A.D. Such a thorough and penetrating analysis must have resulted from many challenges from others. That it holds up is something worth ... experiencing as one reads Nagarjuna and Garfield.

Nagarjuna's text is presented by itself, then again interspersed wihin Garfield's commentary. Garfield proceeds very precisely, keeping his interpretations closely tied to the verses at hand. Together they offer a tour de force in Buddhist philosophy. If you read this book and later hear someone say, as if it were a complete thought, that the self is an illusion, you should understand much better what the too often unstated context for such a statement is.

There are many valuable lessons: about the lack of inherent existence, interdependence, conventional and ultimate truth, dependent origination of all phenomena, the emptiness of even emptiness, even dependent origination as dependently originated, reification, of the self as a conventional designation. There are conclusions I found profound such as that "the conventional nature of conventional entities and their emptiness are one and the same". That "to say of a thing that is dependently arisen is to say that its identity as a single entity is nothing more than being the reference of a word", i.e. that its identity "depends upon verbal convention". Do I follow that? One problem may be that at the time I read such lines I may think I do but a short while later, I've lost it. This is not a book I would want to be tested on anytime soon after finishing it. I don't know when I will be ready for such a test. The answers may not be found through further study of the text and commentary but through meditation ... or perhaps some of both.

I recommend going back over after a first reading and making notes. Even then, it may take ... years ... lifetimes? ... for everything taught in here to sink in, but the intent is to enable you to internalize the teachings presented here through meditation so that it becomes more than philosophy but a way to live. A tall order but that is what Buddhist meditative practice, properly understand, seems to be.

I do feel I understand better from this reading, if only a little better, why meditation seems warranted. Being a less confused about that seems worthwhile.

I gave this book to my best friend at his wedding. I can't think of a better gift for someone you care about on the advent of their wedding than a book that helps them remember to make Christ a member of the family. A marriage is a lifelong experience that can only be made better with the recognition of the proper influence of God during the day to day decision making processes of a marriage. At least that is my opinion.

This book is amazing. I am single, and it totally spoke to me all the way through. I've read books in the past that did not do so well on that. When they got to dating relationship and marriage, it kind of left those of us who are single out. But Craig's book helps keeps every relationship status involved throughout the book. I found that after reading it, I put it next to my bed and keep it as a quick reference.

I encourage you to buy this book. But beware...when you read it, you'll want to purchase one for all your friends!

Groeschel hits the target! This book is a staple and a must read for ALL that are considering or have respect for the institution of marriage! Teens, Young Adults, Adults, Divorced, Married... all need to have this prize in their hands. Each page is filled with straight forward truth about how to find and keep that special someone...no fluff and flutter! So where was this book 11 years ago before I was married? This book truly is a great gem for those that are already married like myself as well. So pick one up! I rate this book as one we will be passing down for generations to come! A must read!

This past month, Going All The Way: preparing for a marriage that goes the distance, finally made it off the shelf and into the "read me" pile. Stefani and I got this book as a gift and agreed to blog about it - then life went a little crazy. But, it made it off and was worth the read.If you are looking to date, are dating, are thinking about marriage, or are in the midst of making wedding plans - I recommend you read this book. Also, if you work in pre-marital counseling or with young married couples - read this book.

Craig Groeschel, founder and pastor of LifeChurch.tv, doesn't share research data or psychological principles for building strong marriages. Instead, his approach for fostering committed, long-lasting marriages come through his real life experiences - full of messy relationships, and a journey that led him to meet his "One" - entering into a relationship with Jesus Christ. Through self study he learned the importance of developing a relationship with his "One" first, then working to find his "Two".

This August, Stefani and I will be married 13 years. Some of you are probably thinking, "this isn't exactly the time to be reading a book preparing you for marriage." Truthfully, it was refreshing to read this book - seeing in print many of the "habits" (chp.14), we have put into practice throughout our relationship. It was also a great reminder that passion and pursuit doesn't stop once you get married - passion and pursuit are a vital part of the marriage covenant that "goes all the way."

Thanks to Craig Groeschel for writing this book from his life story - challenging us to live differently than what society calls "normal"

At our last youth event on of my 8th graders broke his nose while we were playing in a youth touch football tournament away from home. After a few minutes the bleeding stopped and he seemed a bit confused so we called the parimedics just in case there was a concussion and to make sure his nose wasn't broken to badly. We'll the ambulance arrived and I hopped in (leaving the rest of our football team in the care of our great volunteers) and was asked to sit up front. I got in the driver asked if I wanted to put on the head set so we could talk and he asked the usual questions. What happened? What were you guys doing? Who are you with? As I explained who we are, what we were doing and what happened he told me his youth group never did anything like that but just went to summer camp. Now just a few days before I had sat in on a workshop about conversational evangelism and I decided to ask the question, "so do you attend church now?" and he said yes then said that we were on the main channel and everyone could hear our conversation. So thinking it was over and not wanted to push it I dropped the conversation and waited for a minute to see what we could talk about next when he brought it back up again. He began to tell me about the way the church he grew up in treated his mom after she divorced his father and how they continued to attend on and off for a while. Eventually his mom started attending a big church in the area and he and his wife started to go but but for awhile they were sporadic in attendance. And right after that he said the most profound statement a non committed Christian can say about God and marriage. He told me that for a while his marriage had been on the rocks and how since they have been attending regularly his marriage has been getting better and I could tell that meant a lot to him.

All of us want better marriages and stronger marriages but most people have a hard time figuring out what it takes to get there. Craig Groechels's book brings the answer back into focus by realigning our number 1 and our number 2 and then pieces begin to fall into place behind them. With the business of life we allow all kinds of things to become our number 1, sometimes its our spouse, or our jobs, a lot of people put that focus on the children and a good number of us put it in places it totally doesn't belong (ie. hobbies, friends, affairs) never realizing that for the relationship of marriage to work our number 1 has to be God, completely focused on Him and making sure that our relationship with Him is strong (by daily connecting with Him prayer and listening to Him through His word, commitment to His church and living our life every minute relying on Him to direct us) and then rightfully place our spouse as number 2 and make sure that we are strong in that relationship as well (taking time to talk, dating your spouse, praying together) and these practices build a strong marriage and it cannot happen any other way.

Going All The Way is great book that is easy to read, full of life stories that make it real, and Craig is funny and honest never ducking from tell us how he has messed up and how he has worked to make his marriage strong. I've already given a copy as a wedding gift (to my sister) and know of at least two more friends that I want to send it to as well. As a guy who has made mistakes in his marriage and at times placed the focus of my number 1 on other things than God and my wife I have been really encouraged and after reading this book we are working to realign our focus as a couple on God first and then each other.

As I we kept driving to the hospital that afternoon and the Fireman/ EMT told me that, I responded by saying that I wish more couple realized that God is the answer to our marriage problems. Focusing on God is the only way to have and maintain a health marriage.

There are no secrets in this book. It is an intersting read, but it takes the same approach that many are using today - developing relationships and using those relations to share Christ. However, the cautions make the book especially worthwhile.

This book gives you nothing new or radical. It simply shares, with great stories and illustrations, the fact that evangelism involves loving people where they are, not dragging them to where you would like them to be. This book takes seriously the fact that no two people are in the same place in their spiritual journey and that each person comes to a relationship with God by a unique path. As evangelists, we are not answer-givers or persuaders, but merely witnesses to what God has done in our own lives. Sometimes we may be called upon to pray with a person as they make a commitment to Jesus Christ, but only when they are led by the Holy Spirit to that point.

The book begins with brutal honesty. Evangelism as it has been practiced most often in our culture has probably driven more people away from God than it has brought to God. We still suffer from the "Gospel Blimp" mentality in most of our churches and wring our hands in bewilderment when no one responds or worse, no one takes us seriously. It confronts us with the seven deadly sins of evangelism (which made me fall on my knees screaming "mea culpa!" more than once). Then the three authors gently begin to put us back together by helping us to understand that we can repent and even recover from these sins, and with a little Biblical understanding we can actually be "effective" witnesses for the gospel of Jesus Christ in this strange place we live in called the Post-modern World.

Also, if you are using this book to teach discipleship or evangelism in your churches, the golf club analogies makes far more sense than some of the other models that have made their appearance from time to time.

For me, this is the best book of its kind. I highly recommend it to churches serious about evangelism.

I / we wrote this important book with the idea in mind that far too many of us who passionately care about sharing our faith in Christ (studies show that aournd 3% of all Christ-followers will at any point share their faith with anyone in their lifetime) - that of that very small percentage, the vast majority confine their style of sharing to just one approach. Outreach effectiveness is all about us just being ourselves. It's not about us putting on, as they say, "Saul's armor," but just being who we are, being 100% naturally who we are.

The mainstay of Irresistible Evangelism is the introduction of a number of creative approaches ("golf clubs" to follow the analogy) that have worked over several decades for us in naturally connecting with people who are "not-yet believers." We, probably like you, are completely skeptical of programs that are designed to take someone through a certain number of weeks of learning this or that and that promise that at the end of that trail of memorized conversations, verses, etc... "YOU TOO WILL BE EFFECTIVE AT SHARING YOUR FAITH!" Been there, done that, got the tee-shirt... but unfortunately programs just don't work... Never have, never will. People are far too complex to boil down into a programatic approach and then predict how they will respond. Anyone over 30 years old should be able to see that truth. If the people who put those programs together were to actually talk to not-yet believers they would discover that those people can detect a "program" that is being sprung on them from a mile away and they close up instantly. Hello? Anyone out there? Am I right? I talk to, no kidding, on the average, of 5 or so not-yet believers a day (I get out a lot). I've been doing this for many years. It's just the way I live. I call it "seed flinging" (ala Matt. 13 and the farmer). This simple little book is the condensing of lessons I and my two friends have learned from flinging our seeds over the past couple of decades - not programs, but natural bridge building skills that will help anyone - introvert or extrovert alike - to become a better "golfer."

Here's the deal with this book: If you read it and find it a waste of your time and money I will personally pay you back for your purchase of the book. I am not allowed to put my personal information on this site, but if you put my name into Google you can find my info pretty quick. Either call me or email me - I'm good for it.

On the other hand if this is helpful as I believe it will be - don't just buy one, buy several and pass them out to decision makers in your circle of friends / leaders / speakers / pastors / teachers / you get the drill.

Irresistible Evangelism is a book aiming to help the evangelism efforts of Christians and make their efforts more effective but also attractive as the techniques discussed are easy to implement.

The beginning of the book speaks about the "Seven Deadly Sins of Evangelism" which are all too common among those who sincerely have a heart for the lost. This section is intended to shed some light on common problems that occur while trying to evangelize our world but it also lets each one of us potentially see ourselves and our own efforts in a new light.

The book brings up the topic of servant evangelism. "Small things done with great love will change the world". This quote can be seen on the front of the Vineyard Community Church in Cleveland, Ohio and is a consistent theme throughout the book.

Together Sjogren, Ping, and Pollock have put together a wonderful collection of illustrations that make each point clear and understandable from those who are new to the faith or even old pros at evangelism.

Almost the last half of the book focuses on new techniques intended to allow their practitioners to feel at ease with the process of evangelism.

The four major chapters of Active Kindness, Active Friendship, Active Wondering, and Active Sharing, each introduce an easy to participate in concept that anyone can partake of and employ. The great thing about each of these is that they can be done as a natural extension of living your life.

This book was a great read because it was easy to understand and it also gave me topics to think about in my own evangelism efforts. Everyone can always benefit from learning something they did not know or even something they already knew explored in a new and fresh way.

This book is a great addition to any Christian's library or anyone wanting to learn more about basic evangelism techniques.

Absolutely the best book ever written on individual evangelism. Very concise and easy to follow. Filled with helps and ideas in presenting the Gospel. Excellent book.

This book is a great read for anyone who is a student of life, not just of a martial art. It is philosophical, historical, and somewhat autobiographical in nature, and its lessons can apply to everyday life. I found the short chapter entitled "YU" or "Bravery" particularly relevant and moving to me personally.

Peter writes that "There is a grace, a depth and a character to the movement of the expert, akin to the fit of a well-broken pair of boots." Peter personifies this. He seems to glide gracefully through life. He is always the gentleman; always the master willing to lend his hand and expertise to the willing and eager student. At times, even in his own well-worn pair of boots! It is an honor to know a man of his character.

I thoroughly enjoyed "Kishido: The Way of the Western Warrior" by Peter Hobart. The book can be read pretty quickly. It contains 50 short chapters in 161 pages and then includes a short Glossary of Japanese terms used in the book as well. While the chapters are short, the contain some very important lessons.

The book is a series of lessons that Hobart's martial art master passed to his students while not only teaching martial arts, but teaching virtues embedded in all traditional martial ways. The instructor taught through example that conduct is just as important as ability. He exemplified integrity, dignity, courtesy, chivalry, truth, trust, benevolence, and wisdom. He passed these lessons to his students, and now Hobart has written them down so the reader can blend the philosophical and spiritual concepts found in martial arts with the physical and technical training of their specific art.

The lessons include:

Part I: Foundation

1. Kishido The Way of the Western Warrior
2. Bumon Lineage
3. Shoshin An Open Mind
4. Junshin A Pure Heart
5. Fudoshin A Determined Spirit
6. Ihtaram A Civil Code
7. Enkyoku The Winding Way
8. Ganshiki Insight
9. Discretio Mater Virtutis Restraint
10. Noblesse Oblige Obligation

Part II: Range

1. Bangei Versatility
2. Bunbuichi Sword and Brush
3. Bokuden, Ima Anachronism?
4. Koji The Master Texts
5. Nihongo The Lingua Franca
6. Shika, Doka, Renga Expression
7. Heiho Strategy
8. Koan Mumonkan
9. Kanpo Healing
10. Garyotensei The Eyes of the Dragon

Part III: Strategy

1. Yohei Mercenaries and Merchants
2. Gi Right Decision
3. Yu Bravery
4. Jin Benevolence
5. Rei Right Action
6. Makoto Truth
7. Meiyo A Matter of Honor
8. Chugi Loyalty
9. Ichigo, Ichie The Power of One
10. Hanare Time to Let Go

Part IV: Harmony

1. The Dao Interconnectedness
2. Docere Versus Ducere Instructors and Educators
3. Primum Est Non Nocere First Do No Harm
4. Chaqun A Son Gout Horses for Courses
5. Shojin Demagogues and Curmudgeons
6. Stare Decisis Tradition
7. Girei Professional Courtesy
8. Kiki Opportunity
9. Kouhei No One is Above the Law
10. Tatsutoriatowonigosazu Leave Things a Little Better Than You Found Them

Part V: Void

1. Kotan Elegant Simplicity
2. Heisei Serenity
3. Fuga Refinement
4. Enryo Reserve
5. Panache A White Plume
6. Gyakute The Unexpected
7. Hokosaki Advance and Be Recognized!
8. Okunote The Other Hand
9. Matsunen The Final Days
10. Renzoku Passing the Torch


As you can see, there are quite a few topics with quite a range of lessons. I think some of the most important are illustrated in the final chapter, those of gi, yu, jin, rei, makoto, meiyo, and chugi; or Right Decision, Bravery, Benevolence, Right Action, Truth, Honor, and Loyalty.

The book is full of stories and examples of how the master not only taught the lessons, but lived them as well. I'll say again, you can read through this book quite quickly, but it will mean more if you savor each lesson and look to see if you are applying it to your own life. I know I related many of the lessons to teachings that I've had from my instructors and I looked for ways that I could better live by the code outlined in this book to make me a better teacher as well. I hope to be an example of these traits to my students also, and I truly believe if you are going to teach someone skills that can hurt or kill someone, you must also instill the positive character traits so that person will only use those skills if necessary and will never misuse the teachings.

I highly recommend this book. I believe the teachings Hobart has shared from the wise master will enhance your own martial art journey.

Reviewed by Alain Burrese, author of Hard-Won Wisdom From the School of Hard Knocks and the dvds: Hapkido Hoshinsul, Streetfighting Essentials, Hapkido Cane, the Lock On Joint Locking Essentials series and articles including a regular column on negotiation for The Montana Lawyer. Alain Also wrote a series of articles called Lessons From The Apprentice.

This collection of short stories is very philosophical and eclectic spanning a wide range of topics that all have to do with personal growth. The story Ihtaram: A Civil Code takes place takes decades ago on the Arabian Peninsula. The author incorporates Bushido principles as he tells of a good host allowing a murder to happen rather than violate the code of hospitality. The point of this extreme story is to show that the host chose to find resolution by working within the mandated code. I don't exactly agree with this viewpoint but the story was intriguing. I also loved the calligraphy and the quotations.

....ask those who have gone before. Sometimes, I struggle to blend eastern thought with everyday western living. Peter Hobart helps by taking years of experience and distilling it down to an essence over a few pages. Pick out either an idea or concept listed, and gain a new thought (or revisit an old one semi forgotten) to work on. Not just for the martial artist, also for those who wish to live, rather then exist.
The chapters may be thin, so what?! Never say in 300 words what can be said in 30.So, if you are wanting to stetch your mind, or just want a degree of clarity in everyday living, then perhaps this is the book for you.

Kishido: The Way of the Western Warrior
I've been studying martial arts for over 35 years (karate, aikido, iaido, and tai chi), and I'm also an amateur historian. Along the Way I've read a good deal (in translation largely) about budo and the historical contexts in which it evolved.

Recently I went in search of books to give as gifts to some of my students, and largely based on reviews at Amazon I picked 'Kishido'. However, to assure that it was 'worthy' for my purposes, I read it before presenting it. I could barely put this book down until I finished it. I've found little else that I've read that has touched me so profoundly and captured the essence of the martial arts, including autobiographies of the masters of the past century.

Not only did I present this to my students, I've now shared it with my peers and teachers, as well as added it to my library. This is one book I'll read more than once, and I highly recommend it to anyone who shares my love of budo.