Attractions Books

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. It provided keen insight into the dating/mating process. The chapters are divided into relevant topics and the author has a unique writing style that draws the reader into the content. Very helpful and fun.

I purchased this book and the online instant view. The instant view wasnt worth the $2.00 because you cant print or save.

The book is good, though i havent read much of it.

I have one complaint. The book isnt an easy read. Usually you must read 4 or 5 pages to understand the authors point or seduction tip. I really would have prefered a short, to the point, version of this book. She gives 100 or 200 seduction tips, but then she talks on and on about stories or the details on why it may work etc. Some of her conclusions are speculative.

This book was amazing! A guy friend of mine had given me some tips from it years ago and recommended I should read it. I finally got around to buying it a couple of months ago and finally sat down to read it. It offered great tips about communication and gender differences. I often found myself reading the sections geared towards men and thinking "Yes! That's exactly how I would like a guy to act!" So I have faith that the sections that are geared towards women are accurate in their suggestions. In fact, I have toyed around with some of the ideas she gives and they honestly worked. I'm sure it isn't the ONLY reason that the guy fell for me, but it certainly helped! I 100% recommend this book for girls AND guys. Even for those of you who are skeptical or not looking for love, it still brings to the table some really interesting sociologial studies and impressive facts! Happy Reading!!

This book focuses on what to do / say when you're around members of the opposite sex in the hope that they will fall in love with you.

The book offers insightful information and key points to helping encourage and foster a relationship with someone. Many of the things suggested actually work (from personal experience) and do help you get closer to the people you care about. Some of the techniques include finding commonalities and really listening to the person. Using the techniques offered could, I would argue, help you improve your relationship with others (family members, relatives, etc) in your life not just your love interest.

Honestly, though, the only thing I found misleading is the title. You can't MAKE people fall in love with you. This book will definitely help you hold and encourage interest, but if the person's not into you, then there's not a lot you can do to change their mind (see "He's Just Not That Into You").

Overall, the book is well worth the money and really does offer great perspective and insight. You won't be disappointed.

Ok, so I had great hopes for this book, but was worried because the title promised a lot. Actually, its a great book just to make you a better person. It teaches you how to be a better person, to improve your people skills and draw people to you. I can see how it can help you be a better and more likeable person and draw people to you and like you, then some may fall in love with you. I wish the title were different because it sorts of limits the audience with its name.

I believe that the Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles is a very important book. The concepts in the book help people to recondition their minds and belief systems such that they can choose to stop believing that lack is ok and normal.

In many cases, entire lifetimes are centered around limiting thoughts that don't serve most folks well at all. Often the limiting thoughts come from fear of hoping for something more or better in life because many generations have been disappointed as they lived in the shadow of others' competitive grasp for wealth and thus concluded that wealth was not for everyone. Wallace Wattle's book gives all permission to let go of that fearful belief.

I especially like how the book points out that abundance is wealth and thus wealth is the very nature of all existence and we can choose to accept that that means that abundance/wealth is available to all of existence. When one thinks on that truth things start to make a lot of sense. Simply think a moment about how even a plant produces many seeds or think about the number of sand granules at the beach or even the number of cells in one body.

The book's discussion of how everything and everyone comes from an infinite source of abundant matter puts everything into perspective---we can scientifically agree that all matter is made of the same things (atomic particles) which come from the same source. Now if we can allow our minds to grasp that that means all is for all, not just for some. The book encourages every reader to allow this possibility to become a part of their life.

That is what I really like about the book, it states that all is for all and that the creative mode vs. the competitive mode can be the way we go about living. We don't have to compete for resources once we consider the infinite possibilities of the human mind as an electromagnetic tool of co-creation connected to its power source.

Everyones' mind is an eletromagnetic series of neural pathways with electrical pulses (as all matter is made up of the same). The power source would be the origin of all life. So we can now deduce that all life has access to the same power source and thus can choose to connect with that source to support life and improve the experience of it if we are willing to entertain the possibility that we can use our minds more actively than we tend to.

The section on gratitude is very useful. As humans, it can be easy to lose site of every detail we can constantly choose to be grateful for. The book encourages gratitude as a consistent practice that elevates one's energetic potential and thus improves the experience of life.

The book is very easy to read and really does gives very practical steps to creating a wealth consciousness that produces results. If a reader fills overwhelmed by the amazing implication of the content the reader can read/listen to the book over and over until you 'get it'. I highly recommend the book. For those wondering about the science distinction consider the dictionary definition of science as a proven method arrived at by various means of discovery.

First published in 1910, the firt thing you'll notice when reading this book is the old language. I didn't actually know this when I bought it, and that fact immedietly jumped out at me.

The concepts seem a little out there, and at times a little unrealistic, but they work. The book is all about conditioning yourself to think a certain way.

Read this book, take it to heart, and become rich yourself.

Matthew Overstreet
http://www.swordwares.com

"The Science of Getting Rich" by Wallace Wattles is a down to earth & practical book about developing prosperity in your life, in ways that you had never imagined as possible. Clear, concise, providing techniques that you can integrate easily into your day to day life.

A most recommended book that expands on ideas provided in the Secret.

Even better read together with:

NEXUS,by Morrison & Singh,Nexus: A Neo Novel a contemporary Fiction novel that has much wisdom for you to discover.

This book was great. It filled the gaps left after reading The Secret.
At first I was a bit turned off because of the some of the psycho-babble but in the end it was perfect. The author explain concepts well and reinterates points just frequently enough that they became something that I kind of sang along with and now I am putting in to practice everthing that I learned in the book. The book explains our place in the world and that our desire to get rich is ok and even expected. Please take the time to read/listen to the book yourself. It was quick and it won't take anything out of your life it you don't like it. I think it was wonderful.

This Penguin edition of the Science of Getting Rich also contains Wattles' five-chapter How to Get What You Want. If you're a bibliophile, you'll also appreciate this book's ecru stock, deckle (ragged) edge, and covers that open up to serve as bookmarks.

The book 'Survival of the Prettiest' is a great read and helps one truly understand the role that beauty plays in our daily lives as well as the reasons for different types of behavior in people. It is extensively researched and a must read. With over seventy pages in references, the author truly knows what he/she is talking about.

The studies about babies staring at people who are definably more attractive are fascinating.

Also the perimeters of beauty are also intriguing.

This is a fun read for the layman, but it is not very scientific, furthermore, it is does not stand up to even the most basic scrutiny-don't think too hard if you want to enjoy this one!

For example, the idea that women are Darwinistically selected for their beauty is a hard buy. In all species except humans, males compete for the right to mate with females, but females can ALWAYS reproduce and pass on their genes; females do not need to force males to mate with them. Can you imagine a human society where a female cannot have sex and pass on her genes because her cheekbones are not high enough? It is purely laughable, if anyone is selected, it is us males.

Also, recent scientific evidence (see human genome project) suggests that sperm competition resulted because of the high levels of promiscuity of human females. This throws into question one of the most popular theories of evolutionary psychology, which posits that men roam and spread their seed while women stay home and take care of the kids. On the surface, evolutionary psychology tries to make sense of us, but in reality, it is like thinking the earth is flat. Let's leave science to the scientists.

About: Guide to what humans find beautiful and attractive about each other

Pros: Interesting, very thorough, well researched.

Cons: Almost a bit too well researched, the multitude of facts and studies thrown about can bog the reader down. You're pretty much guaranteed to feel worse about at least one part of your appearance after reading this book.

Grade: B+

Many of the reviews here complains about this being not a book scientifically strong enough.
But even looking at the index you can see what the text is about from the chapters 'the nature of beauty', 'beauty as bait', 'cover me', 'feature presentation' and 'fashion runaway'... since the book is written by someone like Dr. Etcoff, everybody expects the scientific cold point of view evident in every page.

But for many other disciplines the text is perfectly able to open wide a huge perspective in the general problem of the perception of beauty, its uses, and the necessity of it.
For people into arts, the thing about beauty perception and mathematical relation deeply rooted, not in the software but instead in the hardware, is fundamental in a time were the discussion is always about art not being interested in the aestethic depiction, perception or even consideration.
Of course it can be sort of very well known facts what she is saying here about the golden proportion, simmetry and genetic health, the 7 to 10 hip proportion and fertility in women, and even the relation between the mother's perception of beauty in their offspring and neoteny -a concept that certainly you can trace back to Stephen Jay Gould or any other 'divulgative' text, even like the mentioned here 'the selfish gene', etc.

But the real problem is context.

What this book is really good at, is filling the gap between those kind of books -biology, life sciences, perception- and the kind of studies that really need to approach the subject not only as a problem, but instead as a matter.

Not precisely aesthetics, but !fashion!.

Even at the very beginning is mentioned how nowadays an entire city can be stopped because Claudia Schiffer is at a starcaise making some photographs, giving us the clue to understand how this whole book can be seen; in a total different light and with such a different use.

The fact that every now and then Desmond Morris collides with Sandra Rhodes, Azzedine Alaia meets Darwin, opens the window and let you see the landscape is about the form, perception and construction of beauty as an adjective, as something we worn and sometimes have to endure.

So this book belongs in the shelf next to Anne Hollander, Valerie Steel or Alison Lurie. Comprehensive studies about the power of image, fashion and appeareance. And not precisely in the side of the 'scientific' bunch.
And it is an excellent entrance to think in the equation beauty, perception, process and representation that is so difficult to see, but so much necessary to really achieve: design with one eye into the biological process, art once again perceiving its duties, and science humanized through the contact with the arts, designs and fashion. Also I think everybody goes to the scientific side forgetting all the good concatenation of historical facts from corsets, wigs, make up, heels, making a very well define line between the subject -the beauty- and its uses.

As a companion I think also in the same shelf could it be 'Venus Envy' by Elizabeth Haiken, also a bridge between 'science and consumer culture'.

I just found parts predictable while other parts were a bit too fantastic for me.

Many of the other reviews have this book pegged correctly, and the ones who say it was suspenseful - which book did you read? There wasn't one iota of suspense.

The only thing that really kept me reading was that the reincarnation idea was interesting and that the pace was good enough to keep the pages turning, but not nearly enough to say this was a good book.

But if you liked the Da Vinci code, then you probably will like this book, since neither book had much of a plot (sorry guys, Da Vinci code was every bit as thin as this book.)

The characters in this book are one-dimensional and not interesting. The author switches from character to character often and it is difficult to keep the reincarnations straight - so and so was this person in the past, and who now is trying to pay a debt to this person - this was a good idea but it takes a much better writer than Rose to pull this off.

In sum - thin, uninteresting plot, not that great writing, uninteresting characters, interesting concept. If you are really into reincarnation then this book is for you. If you want to read a good story, then avoid this book.

I enjoyed this book and was really drawn in by the evocative descriptions of settings, both modern and historical. You really get the feeling of being there in the story, standing by the characters, seeing, smelling and hearing what they do. And the story had several twists I wasn't expecting at all, which is a fun thing for a reader who's taken quite a few turns 'round ye olde library. :) This one kept me up reading until the wee hours!

I have to agree with reviewer Joycee that this reads like a B-grade version of a Dan Brown novel. In fact, when I read Joycee's review I broke out laughing because we shared the same thoughts.

I picked this one up while waiting for a prescription and desperate for something to read. And if I hadn't read THE DA VINCI CODE then I would have been impressed. Instead it was like seeing someone hanging onto a set of coat tails dragging along behind. Sad.

I love the premise of this story. The historical details are excellent. The plot really kept me turning the pages (or pushing the button since I read the kindle version). It also made me think. However, I found the end unsatisfying. There were so many things left unresolved. I can figure everything out, but it just lacked something to give it resolution. Overall, a great story, though.

I loved Chocolat and the Lollipop Shoes and had just finished the even better Five Quarters of the Orange when I picked up Blackberry Wine. Unlike the others, this was a real struggle to get through. The characters seemed shallow and one-dimensional, as though they needed more work. The plot didn't really develop until well into the novel (it didn't start to get in the least bit interesting until about two thirds of the way in) and even then, it was weak. I think that one of the biggest mistakes was to set it in the same village as Chocolat, making vague references to the events of that novel and giving some of the characters cameos in this one. While I am glad that I made it to the end, this is one book I won't be reading again.

Although I found the characters somewhat flat and frankly disliked a couple of them such as Kerry, I thoroughly enjoyed being transported to Joe's and Jay's gardens and homes and -- through Harris' magical pen -- found myself believing in those "talking" wine bottles as living things. On the whole, I enjoyed the process of getting to the denouement, but felt somewhat disappointed at the way the plot ends were all tied up on the last few pages. I got hooked on Harris with her Gentlemen and Players and, though I didn't feel Blackberry Wine was quite up to the standard of the former, I still have a bunch of her other books stacked on my nightstand ready to be read.

excellent!--- if you liked 'chocolat' its more of the magic--in fact some of the characters and events from 'chocolat' are mentioned in 'blackberry wine'

Beautifully written, this book left me wanting more. I was sad when the book came to the end. I had grown fond of the characters (excluding Kerry, who I found utterly irritating) and wanted to know what came next. I could feel the main characters disappointment, his fears and loneliness. I enjoyed how the book balanced between the main characters childhood and adulthood, 1975 to 1999. It was wonderful to see the character develop throughout the story. And of course, there was Joe, the most colorful character of all. His presence throughout the book, even in spirit was truly charming. I certainly recommend this book and cannot understand why some people gave it only 1 or 2 stars. I definitely plan to order more of Joanne Harris' books based of reading this one.

I have mixed feelings about Blackberry Wine, unfortunately more negative than positive. For the first ten chapters I despised this book: I didn't care about the characters, couldn't care about the plot and wanted nothing more than to just get through the thing so I could move on to another story. Even though the chapters are short, fifty-seven pages is more than I want to wait for a story to get interesting.

Blackberry Wine describes the life of Jay, a one-hit-wonder in the literary arena who fell victim to the freshman curse and now lives as a writer of trashy sci-fi novels and part-time fantasy-conference attendee. One day he impulsively buys a farmhouse in France that brings back childhood memories and moves in, hoping to find what he thinks he's lost. Via astral projection, his friend/mentor Joe, visits the farmhouse to continue giving the advice he started in Jay's youth. Jay the adult reverts back to the child he was time and again in his bitterness at being abandoned by the old man's sudden parting, continuing the legacy. Blackberry Wine is written as a piece of commercial fiction, but has definite elements of fantasy that feel out of place. This inconsistent tone added to my discomfort.

One of the reasons I had trouble with this book is because of the way Jay is written. Personally, I thought he was schizophrenic, but I don't think that was the author's intention. He seems like an intelligent person, but has the insight of a fifteen-year-old boy coupled with a dog's manic need to defend his territory (or in this case, Jay's righteous indignation). Jay's lack of maturity and poor decision-making ability mark him as a victim, a martyr, so I had trouble caring about him.

This book jumps back and forth in time about every other chapter which I found distracting. The copious descriptions were a bit much and repetitive: how many times did I have to hear about the canal, or that something was yeasty- an odd word to be given such prominence? And don't get me started on the magically animated bottles of wine....

On the upside, once the story warmed up it was engaging. Jay's garden renovation and the relationship with his neighbor and her daughter were nice, the practical peculiarities of Joe added color and interest and the French townspeople formed a nice backdrop. All in all I thought Blackberry Wine was flawed, but it did have moments.

I bought this book to learn more about body language and attraction strategies. I found the book enjoyable and very informative. My test is whether or not I feel I learned something I didn't know when I was finished and in this book I learned a lot of things.

The two biggest things you can do to make yourself immediately more attractive is to whiten your teeth and smile more. What to create attraction with more people? Then you need to start using eye contact more effectively. This information in and of itself is worth the cost of the book. ( and there is a lot more about both eye contact and smiling than this simple advice in the book!)

If you are at all interested in increasing your own level of attraction or in learning the fundamentals of attraction this is the book for you. I highly recommend it.

Irresistible Attraction is one of those rare books that you buy for either business or personal reasons, and it ends up helping you so much in both areas.

How are our business relationships similar to our personal ones? They both involve human to human contact, and whether we are making the contact for personal or business reasons the basic ideas are the same, and they will work.

The other reviews are more detailed on the subject matter, I will just add that even absorbing 10% of the tips and ideas in this book will enrich your dealings with others for the rest of your life...

Rob
www.assetdefenses.com/twoway

There is "some" useful information, but nothing you can't get from other, better written books. I bought this in conjuction with Secrets of the A Game and The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists - and found them to be both more entertaining and useful.

If you're looking for something to convince you that although you're a 4, with a few magic pickup lines you will land a 10, you might want to peruse the fiction section. In Irresistible Attraction, Hogan staying true to form gives direct and useful information that is backed by research... In other words, he gives us the stuff that works.

There were two common threads running through the negative reviews on this book. Either it didn't validate their pre-existing (subjective) beliefs or some of the material was common sense.

It seems as though some of the reviewers expected magical pick up lines, secret handshakes or the single optimal angle to wink your eye to place their "victim" into a controllable trance of love... I blame Hollywood...

Well you're not going get any such hollow promises here. This information is straight forward, useful and above all else REAL.

As with any book based on human nature and communication some of the information will be familiar. That being said, this book does a great job of shaking the rust off of some of the basics and compliments that with a lot of brand new, completely fresh attraction and communication research touching on aspects such as body language, conversation and body positioning.

Unless your Cleopatra or Casanova, you will walk away from this book with oodles of tips and strategies to help you maximize your own potential for getting the person of your dreams. Don't even consider going on another date with out reading this book...

David J. Parnell | Communication Expert

It's a book full of useless advice. Most of it is obvious, and the content in general is of lesser intelligence. If you're not real smart and no one likes you, this book may be helpful. Otherwise, it's laughable.

Crystal clear, erudite, logical, surprising and entertaining writing.
Shlain is a genius. With three decades of extensive study and half a century's experience as a doctor, he has unearthed a gem of an insight, whereby he vindicates women of the crush of patriarchy and uplifts the female anatomical mechanism itself to the level of divine artistry. How? Shlain claims that the very rhythm of menstruation was the music that conducted the early hominid mind into human consciousness, by giving us an awareness of time that is unique among animals.

The more noticeable, i.e. intense and obnoxious, the loss of blood in early female humans, the more likely they were to take note of the passage of time and their menstrual cycle's synchrony with moon cycles. This knowledge endowed women with the capacity to count moons and deduce that sex led to babies, thus developing their brains with the ability to think ahead... Thinking ahead was so much more beneficial than losing blood that evolution kept this trait of heavy menses-- ONLY in the human species! and even though loss of blood (iron) weakened women and made them more dependent on men to bring home the bacon (fresh meat= iron). As women taught men about forethought and the passage of time, the awareness of one's own invitable death was awakened. Men's fear of death led them to use religion, family and force to control women's sexuality so that they could know who their children were and thus cling to the genetic thread of immortality. (Women also encouraged monogamy so they could rely on the father for support of children with ever-larger brains and longer childhoods.) The ramifications of menstruation domino throughout the book. It is a fascinating read that kept me up all night!

I can hardly wait to watch upcoming research solidify and build upon Shlain's foundational ideas. As Shlain's theory catches fire, I hope it will forge a new scientific foundation of feminism. Succeeding generations of women may bless Shlain for finding their bodies' scientifically validated role in human evolution. Not only can we honor our menstrual cycles for creating life, we can thank them for sculpting the mind of all humanity. Forethought is the font from which all art, music, science and literature springs.

I have mixed feelings about this book. On one hand, it is extremely thought provoking and is in many ways worth the price and time spent reading it. In many ways, Shlain is an excellent writer; in many ways he expresses unique and intelligent thought.

On the other hand, many of the "interesting facts" he presents throughout the text turned out to be either completely inaccurate or misleading when I did some research on them. His writing style is overly-flowery, in my opinion. In the sense of someone who likes to hear oneself talk, Shlain clearly likes the sound of his own written "voice". I find it pretty annoying. The overall arc of the book is not so much an arc as a totally random zig-zag.

Personally, I'm glad I read the book. I feel that I gained a lot because of reading it, not directly because of the text itself, but because of the directions I went in my own thought-processes as a result of reading it. I do recommend it to anyone still interested in reading it -- but I recommend reading at as something intended to get you thinking, not something to learn facts from. Just be sure to maintain a healthy level of skepticism, and don't say I didn't warn you about the annoying writing style.

I believe that to arrive at the correct answers, one needs to be asking the correct questions.

It is Shlain's ability to ask questions about how we have arrived at this time and place which inspires some out-of-the-box thinking and ideas.

I enjoyed his thought process immensely.

I recommend the book for any thinking person.

I felt that while this book had some interesting ideas, it was longer than it needed to be. He begins every chapter summarizing everything previous in the book and ends every chapter summarizing that chapter. This became very annoying after a while...

I heard about this book from an interview with Shlain on NPR. The ideas he presents are compelling, but in places his arguments lack true depth. As a result, I was left feeling like I should not have bothered to buy the book and should have just been satisfied with listening to the interview, which gave me adequate exposure to the ideas. The book did not go beyond that. It provided only exposure to a wide range of ideas. Exploring the bibliography would obviously lead to the depth I desired, but after 400 pages of looking for it in Shlain's writing itself, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. His style was a bit too flowery and a bit too crowd-pleasing.

Hardly qualifying for a novel at a mere 118 pages-- although it still may be too long-- INTIMACY is the account of the end of a relationship as seen through the eyes of Jay, who is about to leave his lover Susan of six years-- they are not married-- and their two sons. "It is the saddest night, for I am leaving and not coming back." So begins Jay's ruminations of what has gone wrong and why he is leaving. There is precious little to like about him. Well educated and a successful writer-- he has been nominated for an Oscar although he never tells the reader exactly what he did to get the recognition-- he likes recreational drugs from time to time, currently has another lover Nina, who in his eyes, has provided assurance that he would stay as long with Susan as he has. She is not as pretty as she was when they first got together. If he should see her in a bar now, he opines that he would look at her two times but not three. He's a real prince of a fellow. As he is packing a few things to leave, he makes sure he has a signed framed picture of John Lennon before he gets photographs of his children. And he does not have the courage to confront his lover but rather leaves her a note after she has gone off to work. He does attempt, however, to be honest about himself, saying that "Perhaps, all this time she [Susan] has been making a heroic effort to get along with a morose, over-sensitive, self-absorbed fool." And he obviously loves his sons dearly, hoping that as he changes the three-year-old's "nappy," that his son in the future will return the favor. Jay is well aware that his deceased father would not approve of his leaving Susan and their children. Kureishi contrasts Jay with his friend Asif, who exhorts him to be responsible and says in tender, beautiful language: "'I can just about see why someone would leave their spouse, but I can't understand how someone could leave their children. To me just going to work feels like SOPHIE's CHOICE.'"

When I finished this book-- that you will want to read in one sitting-- I wondered where this character will be in ten years, perhaps like the character in Kureishi's compellintg short story "Nightlight," who after escaping from his wife and children in much the same way as Jay does, sees a woman every Wednesday for sex but does not know her name. On the other hand, he may be closer to the character of Jamal-- we can hope-- in Kureishi's latest novel SOMETHING TO TELL YOU who still believes in and keeps looking for love. I suspected that many men will see themselves, at least in part, in Jay's character-- in the U. S. approximately one in three marriages ends in divorce I believe-- and finally was glad that my father never left my mother, my brother and me.

You may not like this character but you will certainly be much taken with Kureishi's honest depiction of him as well as the author's fine prose.

When Hanif Kureishi's Intimacy was published last year in Britain, it ignited a firestorm in both Kureishi's family and in the press, with one of its many critics denouncing it as "this short, odious book." And it's true that Intimacy's narrator, Jay (a scriptwriter) is wilful, childish, narcissistic and wild. And, yes, odious too; he even does the occasional parent-teacher interview in his "latest favourite suit, on acid" and keeps--even though he's the father of very young children--ecstasy, LSD, and an old bottle of amyl nitrate in the fridge. But he's also a man who is tender, introspective, witty, and exuberantly honest. Herein lies the book's reckless charm and elating momentum.

Intimacy also joins a long line of 20th-century novels that tell the story of men leaving home, beginning with the husband in John Updike's Too Far to Go, a man who--before leaving his wife and children--repairs hinges and latches: "a Houdini making things snug before his escape..." In novels by Richard Stern and Bernard Malamud and any number of other writers on the theme of men who are also ambivalently on the run, the women being left behind are (like the wives in Updike's fiction) dark-haired, enduring, and sexually withholding, while the mistresses are fair-haired, adoring, and quick to offer sexual comfort. The blondes also travel with a vast array of cosmetic and herbal supplies; in the case of Jay's Nina--a shrewdly wistful phantom forever kept off-stage in her pale, hippie clothes--it's a bag stocked with nipple cream, tapes of the sound of the sea, postcards of cats, packets of camomile tea, and other bits of the equipment so vital to "mobile girls."

"Soon we will be like strangers," Jay tells us, speaking of Susan, the mother of his children. But no, they can never be that. "Hurting someone is an act of reluctant intimacy. We will be dangerous acquaintances with a history." Jay also fears dying--he's invited to more funerals than dinner parties--and so has little use for women who are also too quickly growing older, as he jauntily makes clear when he ironically asks what's wrong with maturity. "Think of the conversations I could have--about literature and bitterness--with a forty-year-old!"

Susan belongs in this age range, but in spite of his making her his muse by turning her (via metaphor) into a blank page--she's at the bottom of the stairs in her white T-shirt and white slippers, looking "so white I could write on her"--his evocations of her can also convey his love for her, as in the following scene when he's moved by her enthusiasm as she kisses their children: "When we really talk, it is about them, something they have said or done, as if they are a passion no one else can share or understand."

During his last night with his family, Jay experiences the outside world as both ominous and alluring. But mostly ominous: "Outside, the dark leaves on the trees flap in the wind like hundreds of long green tongues, the branches knocking at me." He dreads leaving his sons, two "fierce and ebullient" little boys who are never named--this is one of Kureishi's brilliant strokes--two wild boys who careen through the novel, adding to both its anguish and its comedy. Jay says of the three-year-old, "I wonder when I will sleep beside him again, if ever. He has a vicious kick and a tendency, at unexpected moments, to vomit in my hair. But he can pat and stroke my face like a lover. His affectionate words and little voice are God's breath to me." This has a parent's narcissism in it, true, but it's also incredibly tender. And yet in the skilfully abridged version of Intimacy that appeared last summer in The New Yorker, a few lines down from this adoring tribute Jay is on the threshold of his front door, the fresh wind sweeping through him as one of the more compelling of his inner voices commands, "Go. You must go."

This is where the novel should have ended, on page 92. It would have been a novella then, but it would have been the right thing to keep it emotionally and lyrically dynamic. Instead it goes on for another twenty-six pages, and the line that follows the powerful "Go. You must go," is almost criminally banal: "I am kicking over the traces." Along with a few other lacklustre passages, this is one of the relatively few disappointments in what is otherwise a vivid and fearless novel. The good bits in the final pages could also have been spliced in earlier. At times it's also as if the war between Jay's id and his superego has triggered a war in the syntax, which is sometimes formal and Victorian, sometimes the Kiplingesque English of Jay's father, sometimes London street slang.

But whatever its deficiencies, Intimacy is an important and weirdly thrilling book, reminding us (as we occasionally do need reminding) how honourable that other war is: the war between what's most "worthy" and what's most alive.

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This review first appeared in The Globe and Mail

Due to this book, Kureishi has become one of my favorite authors. It's short, sweet, and precise.

Leí en una de las reseñas escritras en la página, que era un poco absurdo el nombre, dado que la intimidad se daba como consecuencia del amor. En realidad uno puede entender este libro desde dos puntos de vista. La intimidad de pareja y la intimidad de Jay, el protagonista, con su propia verdad. La intimidad en este caso es su intimidad, tal cual, intima e intransferible. Es él quien durante todo el libro habla sobre su relación con su mujer, sus hijos, lo desencantado que está con todo, con la vida, con el amor...
Intimidad es la historia de una pareja (ella una súper ejecutiva y él un escritor y guionista) que tienen todo lo que las parejas actuales buscan: reconocimiento, fama, dinero etc... pero que llegan a un punto de saturación y aburrimiento que nada llena. Ni siquiera los hijos. Este libro es la reflexión de un hombre de cuarenta y pocos años que está completamente saturado. Intimidad es la explosión tardía de una crísis existencial. Pero vale la pena leerlo. Cada cual sacará sus propias conclusiones.

I spend a lot of time searching out books just like this one; short, vibrant, challenging and with beautiful language. Intimacy is a compelling book that is startling in its bold use of language and the stark honesty of the main character, a man on the brink of leaving his wife and two kids in pursuit of sex with a woman he had an affair with, who may, or may not, take him back.

As other reviewers have mentioned, the narrator, Jay, is completely unlikeable. Despite being middle-aged he acts like a selfish and self-pitying child. Jay complains and whines about everything and has led a life of self-indulgent excesses. He disliked his children when they were younger and admits to having pushed one roughly when it was a baby so that it hit his head. He also keeps drugs in the fridge and has had endless affairs while married. His wife, Susan, is also quite unlikeable, as are the majority of his friends. What redeems the book is its short, snappy style. I would not have wanted to read a thick, deeply involving book about these characters, but a short novel was just right.

I thought the book was a perfect portrayal of the particular type of modern person that believes in nothing, and therefore has nothing to believe in! Without belief in anything such as lasting love, himself, God or something other than pleasure and sex, Jay is on the pathway of destruction. Jay is actually a coward, as instead of telling his wife face to face that he is going to leave her and their children, he sneaks out of the house while she is at work and leaves a note on the table explaining all. In contrast to some of the other reviews, I do not think that this is a book that sums up the whole of the male species. Jay is a disturbed guy - hence the cocaine and the ecstasy and the mindless f*cking and goodness knows what else! There is more to life than that.

Read this book if you like short, thought-provoking fiction that dwells on the seedier aspects of the male psyche. Skip this one if you want to read about likeable characters.

JoAnne

I found this book very helpful in understanding how our beliefs are such an obstacles? I thought the clearing methods were easy to follow and at the same time effective enough to practice them daily. If you have a background of The Secret, then this will speed up all good things that await you.

The Key: The Missing Secret for Attracting Anything You WantThe Key was easy to read it had a light heartedness about it yet gave exercises that were highly beneficial and fun to do I loved it thank you

This book added nothing extra to the message that was in 'The Secret'.

Joe Vitale seems to contradict himself when he tells the reader not to focus on money. But watch 'The Secret' and listen to some of Joe Vitale's interviews and then listen to 'Bob Proctor' and 'Jack Canfield' And you will see a pattern; money money money.
Joe tells us in part three of 'The key' that we shouldn't focus on money, that money is worthless. Money is just paper with wonderful art on it. Yet Joe, Bob and Jack seem to worship this worthless material:

*Joe Vitale was broke and homeless a few years ago, he had no particular talents or dream career. Today Joe is rich because he found a way of making money by writing books about making money. Joe tells us in 'The key' not to focus on money, instead focus on passion and having fun.
Joe uses 'Richard Branson' and 'Donald Trump' as examples of two billionaires who are having fun doing what they love and not focusing on money.
Come on Joe is not writing and producing books and cds and seminars about making money to have fun, he is doing it to make money.

*Bob Proctor was in debt and miserable and had few qualifications and owed more money than he earned. Today Bob Proctor is a rich man telling people how to become rich themselves, with the help of Wallace D Wattles book 'The science of getting rich'. Listen to Bob Proctors interviews and all you'll here him talk about is money and becoming a millionaire.

*Jack Canfield defaced a $10 bill and added some zeros ($100,000) and stuck it on his ceiling and stared at it everymorning imagining that he had that money in his life. He claims he received over $80,000 within months. Now he is a very rich man travelling around the world.
The Chicken soup for the soul books are inspirational but Jack had a desire to make money first and foremost.


Joe's clearing methods were interesting at times and pure Psycho babble in places. I find it hard to take advise on how to clear mental and emotional problems from someone who has no visible qualifications and comes across as a used car salesman.

Joe used this book to promote his websites and other books. The book could have been shorter, Joe fills it with segments from his teleseminars and quotes from other authors or self help gurus. There is little substance.
I closed the book unfortunately missing the missing secret.


I got little from 'The Secret' and less from 'The Key'.

People have given this book mixed reviews. I read the book and from where I am in my progress with the law of attraction, I found it to be very helpful. I actually enjoyed getting the links and information he is giving out so I can add to my resources. The spirit of the book is clear, and that is to assist those of us studying the law of attraction find sucess. I am baffled by the negative reviews and wonder why so many of the reviewers sound so angry. Resistance? Makes you wonder.

"The Key" by Joe Vitale is a book that I've recently discovered and have to tell you about!

The "best of the best' & a most highly recommended book!

If you want to go from dreams to reality with some of your most cherished potentials & inner gifts then read "The Key."

Learn how to manifest your inner potentials & live a more enjoyable, creative & fulfilling life.

Absolutely awesome book!

Better read together with:

"NEXUS" by Deborah Morrison and Arvind Singh, a deep & inspiring novel that is sure to change your life!
Nexus: A Neo Novel

I loved this book, I read it in a day! Yes it is a romance. For those who are offended because it is a Christian book, read Song of Solomon! Also keep in mind - the show of affection was between Rachel and Johnnie only, not between the other "tainted" women from the town. It portrayed temptation and it showed that there is always a way out of that temptation through prayer. God always gives a lifeline when we listen and obey. I think that message above all is excellent for our teenage sons and daughters today. I loved the love story throughout and how Johnnie wrestled with the Lord and came back to the faith. Above all I think the idea that we need to be the salt of the earth for the unbelievers is a vital message for today. We need to stop condemning and begin forgiving and building up people for a better life. Yes there are hypocrites, but that's why we have the Bible as our standard. I John tells how to recognize a true Christian.

Rachel is a high and mighty, incredibly annoying, bossy, holier than thou, brat. When she FINALLY learns not to be such a twit, the end of the book is near. I felt for her siblings - I would have probably pulled all my hair out if I was them. That a man in the world would put up with her crap is beyond me.

While "Bride..." was my favorite by this author, I enjoyed Measure of A Lady as well. Rachel is a young woman trying to raise Christian siblings in a non-Christian town. Many are giving her a hard time but cut her some slack, she just wants what is best for them. What Lissa and Michael do is exactly what she was trying to keep them from doing. Remember that she did not have a mother to guide her and so her misunderstandings about sex and other issues are not all her fault. I think she and Johnnie came out very well in the end...what if she had compromised herself b-4 Johnnie came to Christ again? I think it is a heart-warming tale with some sexual tension and maybe should be avoided by young teenagers...but overall a 'can't put it down' read!

Absolutely could not put this book down. Found myself reading until 3:00 and 4:00 a.m., and then had to drag myself into work, but it was so worth it. It's a definite page turner. I can't recommend this one strongly enough. Five stars just isn't enough. Can't wait to see what Deanne Gist publishes next. She's definitely one to watch. ~Deb.

This is a great story set in the 1849 California gold rush. The characters are fun and yet they have their human flaws. Good lesson about judging others and forgiveness.