Associations Books

Who would believe that a book on the Theory of Relativity could be written for the masses? Well it was, and this is it. The concepts that the book conveys are mind boggling, yet quite understandable at the same time. You'll never view space, time and the world around you the same again. It's a quick read, but as you'll learn, time is relative.

Suppose all matter in the universe is expanding at a uniform rate and that "gravity" doesn't exist. Also imagine standing atop the Leaning Tower of Pisa and releasing two cannon balls. One weighs one ounce and the other ten pounds. Because the earth is rushing up to meet the balls, both seem to fall to the ground at the same rate. A cannon ball fired into the air seems to follow a curved trajectory back to the earth as the ground rushes up to meet it. A comet passing close to the earth seems to be "attracted" to the earth as we are pushed upwards towards it. Einstein says "gravity" is the effect on the path of a moving object caused by distortions in the geometric structure of the space-time continuum caused by mass. But space is "nothing," so how can "nothing" be distorted? Could the earth and all matter be expanding uniformly and unnoticed by us? Could this expansion be the real cause of what we call "gravity" and not the distortion of "nothing"?

This problem, somewhat simplified here, has been bothering me since I first read this book some forty years ago; if anybody can help enlighten me on this, I'd be glad to hear from you!

Mr. Barnett, a journalist, crossed over into the arena of science, a subject that he had not studied in college. And to the world's amazement, he captured on paper a clear and easy to read explanation of the genius and elegance of Dr. Einstein's theories concerning the very small (quanta) and the very large (space and time).

I feel that this book is a must for any home library. If you are experienced in physics, this book is extremely interesting because it delves deaply into the philosophy that brought Dr. Einstein to his great accomplishments. For those that have little knowledge of relativity, the universe, and quantum matters it offers a great introduction with a minimum of complex math. A simple way to understand how Dr. Einstein changed the entire universe. I have studied Albert for years. This is the first time I have read anything that gave me such an insight to his personality and thought processes. HONESTLY, the best book I have ever read.

This is absolutely the best book on any scientific topic intended for the general reader that I have ever read. It is one of very few books about science I have ever read that I could seriously call a "page turner". Einstein's theories are presented in such a manner that anyone reading the book can understand the concepts without trying. I have read other books that discussed Einstein's theories, but none of them presented the ideas with such lucidity and simplicity, while at the same time not losing the depth and profundity of the concepts.

I purchased this book because my Aunt and Uncle are on page 97 but found that I love the whole book. There is so much wisdom in these pages. These people are amazing and the photos are beautiful.

This has become the must-have book on aging with grace. Why? Remarkable straightforward photos and quotes from remarkable straightforward people who have looked aging in the eye -- and not blinked.

If you can find a copy, grab it. If you can't, contact the publisher and ask when it will be available again.

"Salt of the Red Earth" is a timely treasure commemoratiing the lives of sage Oklahomans at a momentous slice of time -- Oklahoma's Centennial. This carefully crafted book, with its unvarnished, honest quotations and beautiful photography is not only a snapshot of real people living long lives -- it is also a testimony to the dedication, determination and hard work of a talented photographer and savvy chronicler, M.J. Alexander.

What a wonderful tribute to the older and wiser Oklahoman's in this Centennial year! M. J. Alexander does an amazing job capturing the wit and wisdom of all she interviewed and photographed. Our whole family enjoyed her work and we can't wait to see what she chooses for her next project.

What a wonderful book. The author has led us down a path, allowing us glimpses into days gone by, told by those who lived them. How inspiring to read positive words from people who lived through some of the hardest years in American history. The photos are beyond compare, just the faces of the individuals allow us to see the past. Some are worn and shadowed, wrinkled and aged, yet with finesse and compassion, Alexander has captured images of history, and all done with tenderness and care. Own this book, I assure the reader that they will be in awe at the gift of longevity these subjects have been given.
More from Alexander, please.

Shelby Jackson is co owner of Thunder Racing. Shelby lives, eats, and breathes NASCAR, so when her grandfather informs her that he is retiring and wants to sell his share to soccer star Mick Churchill, she's shocked. Shelby has no idea who the world-renowned athlete is. Sure, Mick is more handsome than any man she has ever seen, but he knows nothing about racing and Shelby is not interested in working with him.

Mick needs to make this deal happen. A lot is riding on it. After meeting Shelby he wants her too, but she's off limits and if she finds out why he really needs the team, they may both lose more than a racing partnership.

Thunderstruck is a romantic story, and it also has great racing details with a thrilling ending, which I did not expect. Mick is sinfully sexy and completely irresistible. Shelby is a beautiful tomboy who's headstrong and intelligent. Thunderstruck is a love story that's fun to read.

Nannette reviewed for Joyfully Reviewed

I thought the book was very good. The author was very knowledgeable about the sport of Nascar and it showed in the book and the story line.

My son loves NASCAR and I am planning on sharing these with my daughter-in-law. Thank you!

Whatever this New York Times Bestseller author writes is guaranteed to "thrill" her readers. This book is no exception and a tribuite to the author and NASCAR.

I realize there have been articles written about Harlequin and this NASCAR series. Would the series be a success? If this is any indication, then yes but I sincerely believe her contribution to the series and her other book Tis the Silly Season from NASCAR HOLIDAY, are a wonderful addition.

This is the story of a small family owned team trying to compete against the larger owners that dominate the sport. The grandfather wishes to retire and sell his portion of the ownership to a famous British soccer player whom he believes will attract corporate sponsorship and high quality drivers that will revitalize the faltering team. The granddaughter is highly suspicious of the soccer player's motives, and is hesitant to trust him to be her partner in owning the team. As he works to prove himself to her, both on and off the track, the team is being sabatoged. Lots of action and intrique ensue - is he the one sabatoging the team? Are his motives honorable? Will the team excel or dissolve if he becomes a partner? The chemistry between the granddaughter and the soccer player sparkles. The setting is Speed Week at Daytona, so there is a lot of interesting behind the scenes details of this two week long event.

A wonderful book to read, to keep, and to give. I've bought 5 copies by now, each with an intention to keep for myself, each given as a gift to somebody (not necessarily a mathematician) after starting a conversation inspired by the book. About to buy another copy...

Strangely linked, in wild and sexy ways to mathematics, are jokes, observations, and topics I care about (surprise surprise)!!!

I found out how solid(?) the thinking is of certain, well-known intellectuals...compared to Humpty Dumpty.

I also found out about Alexander Graham Bell and his "fortunate blunder."

In addition, the book has Dave Barry's comments on the history of algebra which, I guarantee, you will not get in maths class.

And another thing...I found out about the Monty Hall problem through the world's best cartoon of it.

An absolutely jolly read!

I love this book. I've enjoyed sharing it with all my math friends and some of my anti-math friends as well. It does indeed start conversations!
The the book is formatted in a way that invites the most casual of readers to explore mathematical topics. It is full of fun. The author treats the subject in a light-hearted manner complete with cartoons. I am completely entertained.

Being a mathematician, I love this book. But my father is
very far from being a mathematician, and he loves
this book too.

"777 Coversation Starters" by John de Pillis
is a definite winner!

A friend gave this to me. I am definitely not a math type, but it
is a great vacation companion. You can read it in bits and pieces
or from front to back in order of appearance. I, in turn, picked
up three copies to give out: a birthday gift, wedding (Yes! honey
mooners need something to talk about!), one for a friend going
on a cruise! It really is the perfect gift!

I've never had to cook for a diabetic until my husband was diagnosed little over a month ago. I was skeptical about the recipes whether they would be great or bland. I'm a firm believer that this book will make anyone (even those who don't need to cook for a diabetic) salivate for the recipes. They were excellent!!! All were easy to prepare and I can find most of the ingredients at my local Walmart. I highly recommend this book!

After stumbling upon Jackie Newgent's "real food" (even for dieters)philosophy in a Women's Day magazine, I just had to check out her only published cookbook. I have been testing recipes from it for two weeks, and I am very impressed. I love healthy food and international cuisine, and this cookbook is a perfect fit for me. My family has absolutely loved everything I have made from this cookbook (none of us is diabetic). Chicken Scampi is restaurant quality (take Newgent's "Food Flair" tip, and add the toasted pine nuts and lemon zest-subtle and sophisticated!). The book is packed with useful information and helpful tips. It is fun for an experienced cook, but detailed enough for beginners-I am going to purchase 3 more copies for my daughters!

I appreciate the author writing an all-natural cookbook for diabetics. It is so refreshing to see a cookbook for people with diabetes that does not use or recommend artificial sweeteners and other artificial low-fat ingredients. My husband has diabetes and it is possible to eat well with diabetes without resorting to "artificial foods". I love the tips and her wholesome approach to meal planning.

My partner and I checked out this book from our local library, as we do with many titles, to see whether we wanted to purchase it. This great cookbook is a must-have for diabetics or for anyone who values using natural and organic foods. Simple recipes with helpful tips and notes, well-written, and affordable. Endorsed by the American Diabetes Association. We made the meatloaf last night and loved it. Thanks Jackie!

This cookbook provides helpful tips on how to chose organic and natural foods. Recipes are delicious and the book includes many menus ideas. The information on portion sizes, the diabetes exchange guidelines and other nutrition facts gives consumers what they need to make healthy food choices. It includes a lot of vegetarian recipes which can be easily incorporated in a person's weekly food choices. The All-Natural Diabetes Cookbook can be a staple on the book shelf as a healthy guideline to eating more organic and natural foods in the diet. As a registered dietitian, I will recommend this book to my clients.

Mr. John Pollock's The Apostle: A Life of Paul is a must read for anyone interested in learning about the man who wrote such a large portion of the New Testament. The book wonderfully takes you from Saul's beginnings as an extraordinary intellectually gifted Jew and keeper of the law, to his conversion to Christianity to become Paul, and then his pilgrimage as a deliverer of the gospel.

All stops along Paul's way are covered by Mr. Pollock in this novel type book. That's not to say it's a novel, but rather it reads like a novel. Great details are given throughout the story providing valuable background on the customs and how people lived during Paul's walk.

If you are interested in further studying Paul outside what he wrote in the Bible I highly recommend this book.

This book is written like a novel, but the research is so extensive it stands halfway between fiction and a historical treatise. You feel like you're living the excitement of the early church as you move with Paul through his adventure-filled life.

While some judgments had to be made in order to tell it like a story, he even gives footnotes explaining other options at certain points. This is a wonderful way to get started in New Testament history.

Dennis McCallum, author Organic Disciplemaking: How to promote Christian leadership development through personal relationships, biblical discipleship, mentoring, and Christian community

The author does an excellent job of making you feel like you are on the journey with Paul - a journey that changed the world. I read the book in conjunction with the Book of Acts and Pollock does an excellent job of keeping the book biblically accurate. I highly recommend it!

While many books on Paul, the last apostle, tend to be very high-browed in their approach, Mr.Pollock excels at putting together a believable, and very readable, biography of St. Paul.

In short, he brings to light many nuances that most of us, as laymen, tend to overlook or misunderstand contectually in the course of our reading the epistles. I have some familiarity with W.M. Ramsay's work and Pollock follows his suppositions closely. What's commendable is that Pollock never tries to snow his reader. He's very upfront about how he approaches areas of conjecture.

A great primer on the life of Paul in a way that will make him a living, breathing human being and clarify his intent and motivations in writing these wonderful letters to his "children".

John Pollock has written what I believe to be an excellent biography on one of the most influential people (behind Jesus Christ, of course!) of the Bible - Paul formerly known as Saul of Tarsus.

Throughout the book Pollock includes biblical stories of Paul's experiences and writes the book in a biographical style. Included are the following events from Paul's life:

1. Presence at Stephan's stoning.
2. Conversion on the Damascus Road.
3. Various missionary journies.
4. Conflict with Barnabas over John Mark.
5. Relationship with Timothy.
6. Shipwreck and landing at Malta.
7. Final days in Rome.

As you read the book, you will see that Pollock is true to the New Testament accounts of Paul's life.

Read and enjoy. Recommended.

I have been out of college for 7 years. I began Grad school last quarter. This book gave me the basic steps to relearn and remember Calculus. It takes you through each kind of problem without skipping steps or assuming you already know what you are doing. A big crutch for understanding single and multivariable calculus. -I passed the placement exam and then used the book to assist in other engineering classes.

Even if you understand the principles, the handful of problems in the average textbook are too few to really drill you on the procedures. It's a little like the difference between understanding some music theory and being able to play an instrument. Practice, for those of us who are not math prodigies, is essential. If you are willing to put in the hours and hours, this hugh collection of solved problems is well worth the price.

This is the single text you need to de-mystify calc. It's advantage is that it explains by demonstration... again and again and again... with increasing, but gradual, difficulty.

Keep in mind that most texts are pumped out by publishing houses to churn numbers and are authored by academic staff desiring a professional profile.
This REA text gives you the universal nuts and bolts of calculus without the publishing-house baggage.

THE KING OF ALL MATHEMATICAL PROBLEMS!!!!!!!!!

Problems in Mathematical Analysis (Hardcover)
by g. yankovsky (Translator), B. Demidovich (Author
Publisher: mir publisher; 4th Printing edition (1976)
ASIN: B000GTC2GA

This is a pretty good calculus help book, especially if you're looking for a book that will teach you how to do a lot of problems. This book gives step-by-step solutions to the problems it presents, so if you can't figure out what the next step is, you can just glance at the solution to figure it out.

This is exactly what a math student needs, a book that gives plenty of practice problems and solutions to the problems. This book does fall short in a few areas though. It doesn't cover everything in a calculus course (especially in the later levels of calculus), and at times, the things it does cover it doesn't cover enough (like it will give only one or two examples of a certain type of problem, which isn't very helpful). And sometimes the solutions seems to simplify too much or skip a step, leaving you pondering how they from one step to the next. However, this is a problem that seems to plague all solution-type of texts. And my final complaint is that the type of font they use in this book isn't exactly asthetically pleasing. They could have use a different font or do something else to make it nicer to look at.

Overall though, this book gets 4 stars from me because it is one of the better calculus help books I have seen, even if it does have a few short comings here and there.

For anyone interested in the current climate of Earp studies Glenn Boyer's book "The Earp Curse" is must reading. The book does not address Wyatt Earp directly, but instead delves into the mystery of the workings of the minds of today's players in the field of Earp study. All in all, this book is very illuminating and amusing in its attempt to expose the politics, jealousies, power-grabbing and intrigue that seems to go hand in hand in todays's popular history culture. The books of Glenn Boyer are at the center of a maelstrom and "The Earp Curse" is no exception. For decades the collective work of Glenn Boyer has been beset by detractors and naysayers. In recent years this caterwaul has increased in volume and intensity. In "The Earp Curse" Glenn Boyer unleashes a virtual broadside of information directed at his more vocal critics. I am sure that you will be amazed when reading this book to see the wide assortment of letters and comments from his detractors that Glenn Boyer has managed to weave into his book. The claims that the information contained in his books was concocted from whole cloth are destroyed by this myth busting tour de force. The most damaging portions of the book were written and provided by the detractors themselves and brings into question the claims and allegations of these same critics. All serious Earp buffs and fans of the old west will want to add this book to their collections. Buy this book, you will not be disappointed.

The field of Earpiana is indeed a jungle these days, and Glenn Boyer gives his personal perspective on it in The Earp Curse. That perspective is a bitter one, and understandably so in view of his experiences in the ongoing "Earp Wars." Perhaps no account of the "wars" can be pleasant, but Boyer's trenchant humor may bring an occasional smile or even a more or less unwilling chuckle to readers hardy enough to try this catalogue of the activities of battling historians, "historians," history buffs, and hangers-on.

Mr. Boyer has written an expose' on all he has had to endure over the last 50+ years of Earp research. I have personal knowledge that it is true, as I helped contribute some of the information on these shenanigans. Some of the characters represented in this book covet what Mr. Boyer has accumulated over the years, and the only way they know to get at him and his documents is to attack him in the hopes he will bring his treasures out into the open for them to use for their own. This book is about some of the unmitigated attacks he has had to endure.

Although the title may lead one to think that this book is about a gloomy family misfortune, the real curse is that there exists a feud between people, who while all the while share a common interest, carry on behind the scene and in some cases openly, in a manner which resembles the conflicts which caused the famous Street Fight or as it is better known, Gunfight at the OK Corral.

In The Earp Curse, as Mr. Glenn Boyer enumerates, there has been and continues to be individuals who have initially sought his knowledge, and then betrayed the trust, copiedsome of his work and then worst of all, have made claims the much of his work is pure fiction. There is an old sales adage which goes, "The dog with the bone is always in danger" Glenn Boyer has definitely has become a legend of sorts, due to the fact that he spent decades of his life interviewing family sources who have since passed on, but left him with a wealth of documents, original manuscripts, artifacts, and most uniquely, intimate details of events which which had never been shared with anyone outside the family.

To be an historical writer, obviously requires a great deal of knowledge about the subject. Publishers however, need to know that a book will sell before they will support the project. Stuart Like had to create a larger than life Wyatt Earp in order to sell it to the public, who in many cases were weaned on legends and tall tales of the old west. Most of the criticism of Mr. Boyer's work centers on his classic work I Married Wyatt Earp : The Recollections of Josephine Sarah Marcus Earp and more recently Wyatt Earp's Tombstone Vendetta.

While for the most part other Earp researcher have added some useful information and insight, there isn't really anything new under the sun that wasn't already covered in newspapers of the day, court documents, family letters, and Stuart Lake's Frontier Marshal and the privately published John Flood manuscript of Wyatt Earp by Wyatt Earp.

Mr. Boyer's works on the Earps, do not read like a typical history book, they are very entertaining and informative. It is obvious that I am a fan of the author, but the interested readers will do themselves a great disservice if they don't look at both sides. This book documents how the information and references where blended into very readable format

The Earp Curse is a book that every Earp fan or old west buff should have in their library.

"The Earp Curse" shows the public the awfully vicious world of Earp historians. Anyone who knows anything about the Earp family should personally shake Mr. Boyer's hand and give him a bottle of Scotch (at the very least). We know what we know of Wyatt through Glenn and this book shows how he has been attacked and threatened along his trail of setting the record straight. Read this book and you will agree! Thanks for the insight, Glenn.

Once again, the Ivy League establishment has got it all wrong. They continue to perpetrate error in the historical record just as they do in the scientific record with that preposterous theory of evolution.

First of all, Euler should not be credited with topology. Descartes had formulated, before Euler was born, the key topological equation F + V - E = 2.

The Greeks attached mystical significance to the five platonic solids. So much so, Euclid included the five regular solids in book 13 of his Elements as if it were the culimination of his work, as if the three-dimensionality were a culimination of the two-dimensionality of the earlier books.

These "regular" solids are three-dimensional objects: namely, the Tetrahedron, the cube, the octahedron, the dodecahedron and the icosahedron. They are "regular" because, on each, the faces are congruent. Furthermore, the face angles are equal. For example, a cube's faces are all the same size.

If we count the faces on the tetrahedron, cube, octahedron, dodecahedron and icosahedron respectively, we get 4, 6, 8, 12, 20 respectively.

If we count the vertices of each respectively, we get 4, 8, 6, 20, 12.

If we count the edges respectivley, we get 6, 12, 12, 30, 30.

Now, create an array of the faces, vertices and edges:

F:4 6 8 12 20
V:4 8 6 20 12
E:6 12 12 30 30

Descartes noticed that F + V - E = 2. For example, 4 + 4 - 6 = 2. Or take the second column: 6 + 8 - 12 = 2. Descartes conjectured (as we all would) that this formula represents an invariant amongst all polyhedra.

Descartes died in 1650 A.D. when he was poisoned by some jealous Swede. Euler was born in 1707 A.D., some time after Descartes's death. Liebnitz had translated this work of Descartes which shows F + V - E = 2. And Euler is known to have read all of these Liebnitz manuscripts at the Hanover archives.

Why scholars persist in giving Euler credit for this equation boggles my imaginatino unless their reading is limited. If it is limited, then appellation of scholar for such men is unwarranted.

Pictures of the five platonic regular solids can be seen in Daud Sutton's little book "Platonic and Archimedian Solids."

With the publication of this, his third book, Dunham has once more shown himself to be a master himself of mathematical explanation. Unlike his previous two books, The Mathematical Universe and Journey Through Genius, which covered results by a variety of mathematicians, this book focuses on selected results that sprang from the remarkable mind of Leonard Euler, one of the most prolific and important mathematicians of all time. What sets Euler apart is not only the vast quantity of his output (the publication of his collected works, the Opera Omnia, spans six dozen volumes, or over 25,000 pages in all!), but also the breadth and originality of his work. Not only did Euler contribute to a wide array of mathematical fields -- from number theory to complex analysis to geometry -- but in many cases, he was the founder of those fields. For example, Euler invented the field of analytical number theory, and he was the first mathematician to recognize the importance of and to discover the important properties of complex numbers.

This book in many ways resembles Dunham's Journey Through Genius. As in that book, Dunham has selected 15 or so theorems to present in detail, and he makes an effort to keep the proofs similar in spirit to the original proofs. Although the proofs are complete and the book is full of equations, they are accessible to anyone with a high school level of mathematics education. But in addition to the proofs, Dunham also provides historical context, as well as commentary on how later mathematicians used and improved upon Euler's work. For example, we learn that Euler began to loose the sight in his right eye at the age of 32, and that despite his virtual blindness by the age of 65, he continued his prolific rate of output until his death at age 84.

The book's title is taken from a quote by Laplace, who said, ``Read Euler, read Euler. He is the master of us all.'' Indeed, if you have any interest in mathematics, you will almost certainly find yourself in complete agreement with Laplace's sentiments by the time you finish reading this wonderful book. ...

I really enjoyed reading this book that describes some background on Euler and his work. It is written in an informal style, so for people with a math background it reads like a novel.

The book is not suitable for people who want to learn more about the person Euler, but do not have a math background, because 75% of the book is about real math (equations). So if you don't enjoy reading equations, do not buy the book.

Summary: as enjoyable as the other Dunham books, although a bit more expensive (but still worth the money).

Don't be fooled by the brevity or put off by the high price of this book - it's worth its weight in gold. If you have a university level math degree and you want to do proofs again, this book is for you. I have been able to understand everything in the book as a result of Prof. Dunham's amazing ability to explain things. I did have to resort to the Internet on occasion to brush up on some trigonometry and calculus. I have been reading it slowly for 2 years now and I'm only half way through - sometimes I pull it out when I need some brain exercise. If you like math, you will like this book.

" Analysis incarnate " , no other more suitable words probably can describe the incomparable power of Euler, as his contemparies called him. Concerning the usual style of Dunham to write this stimulating book, other readers have made many comments and I think there is no need to repeat that. What I want is that Dunham to write another book, perhaps volume 2,3 etc and also write a thorough biography of Euler, one the greatest mathematicians in the history. ( To me, for mathematical ability, his should be at the same rank with Newton, Archaemedes, and Gauss, even Einstein concerning the mathematical and theroetical aspect, is below par compared with Euler )

As someone who has been in group therapy for a while, I must say this is a terrific book. What I like about it is that it is not a "self-help," feel good book. The book doesn't necessarily tell us anything we don't already know. But it crystallizes things with astonishing lucidity. Get this book--and share it with your partner. Talk about it in bed.

Summary - This is a clinical psych textbook. It is designed to introduce new psychotherapists to the array of pathology they will encounter in field practice in couples and relationship counseling. For a general understanding of how, in our pursuit of intimacy, we get sidetracked and sabotaged by our unconscious, for non-therapists, books on Transactional Analysis (TA) and its more mature offshoot, Redecision Therapy are a better bet. This book touches and adds to issues raised by David Deida, who has contributed the most evolved books on relationship as a means of spiritual growth at this time.

Fear of Intimacy
Robert Firestone & Joyce Catlett (both in So. Cal)

David Deida says, "We long for the same fullness of bliss that we never seem to have time to offer. We complain about our lives and blame others, until we realize that right now, we are making love-or we are refusing-right now."

Fear of Intimacy offers several insights that can be used as tools to move towards intimacy with the universe as Deida proposes.

The book has several headlines. One is "our defenses are the illness." The book describes how defenses are formed. Our primary defense [are formed] at a time when the child would be in great danger if he or she was abandoned by the parent. ...[The child] is afraid that if they react with emotional integrity, if they really cry out, if they really ask, if they really scream for help, that it won't come, and they will be in the same panicky, frightened state [forever]" (36). Rather then be frightened forever, the child is forced to go away from the pain of 3D reality and into a fantasy world of some kind. They go into a fiction, into a delusion, hug a teddy bear or puppy, numb out, obsess on substances, etc. "In this [way] people's defenses formed under painful circumstances, become the core of their neurosis..." (35). This is the clearest language I've seen for how unresolved traumas are "put into us" as kids.

The idea of "defenses are our illness" stimulated me to check to see if defendedness could be measured by muscle testing. Sure enuf, it can. As Spirit sees it, Defendedness appears to be on a scale of 1000. John-Roger (msia.org) is the least defended person I know and perhaps one of the least defended persons ever. He measures at zero by my checking. It's possible to measure your own Defendedness.

The book excels on "Why do we defend?" Then it shows how defenses impact relationships. Defenses play into relationships this way, "...people tend to select partners who are like people in their own early lives [because] their defenses are appropriate [to them]"(39) If wife is like birth mother, then "...it leaves a person's defense system intact" (39). Hence the phenomena of the man who marries a woman then complains, "You're just like my mother!" The authors propose that in the unexamined areas of our life, "we "feel relaxed [and familiar] when our defenses are appropriate" (69). People who carry a primarily negative self-image from childhood are a particular focus of the book.

The book makes a nice segue to Deida when it says things like, "Distortions of self, others and the world, inherent in being defended, are introduced into new relationships... Most people end up fighting ghosts [of the past] rather than struggling with [growth:] personal gratification and self-actualization" (63). The early part of the book lays out patterns of psychological defense so that readers can find their own dysfunction and dysfunctional family pattern, if they stumble across a shoe that fits.

Readers are led early on to an insight that 99% of everyone-thruout human history-has, as a child, suffered physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional neglect or some combination of the three. This simply goes with growing up on a planet where the sins of the parents are visited on the children. On this, the book is refreshingly frank. "The ideal conditions favoring a secure attachment [to an early care giver] rarely exist [anywhere]. All children, to varying degrees, suffer emotional pain and anxiety that necessitate the building of defenses" (65). The damaged condition of therapists and clients-that's everyone pretty much- is simply a given, not a cause for blame or for victim pride.

Moving on thru much ground the book covers, the authors say something new to me. "Once a person is damaged, he or she formulates defenses that not only preclude getting hurt again but also ward off loving responses." "...The truth is that mature love-kindness, respect, sensitivity, and affectionate treatment-is not only difficult to find but is [also] difficult to tolerate or accept [if negative self-concepts are held on to]." (310). The idea that we build defenses is old. The idea that we sabotage unconditionally loving gestures directed at us, because it would require us to give up familiar negative self-images, is not a common insight and is one that is conspicuous by its absence in my reading of classic Transactional Analysis literature

The book emphasizes how in childhood we are handed a provisional personality that integrates us into the family system. John Bradshaw used to display a hanging mobile from the ceiling in his televised workshops to show his conception of the family system, how every part has its place, is moving and affects every other part one way or another.

The books says, to the degree our provisional family personality was negative, was accepted by us, and became familiar, to that extent we tend to defend it from loving gestures that would cause us to rethink our view of ourself. The book is highly cognizant of the wisdom of family systems that if we do not review, revise, update and upgrade the personality handed to us early in our life in our family of origin, then we will tend to replicate our family dynamic in relationships, coupling, and marriage.

Much of the rest of the book works in the area where couples transition from being in love and cherishing each other; and then, transition to distance, routinized behavior, loss of passion, complacency or even fighting and violence. The books is good about tracking how couples move out of initial positive bloom of love to a dysfunctional relationships. "In spite of their stated desire for self-affirmation, people seek confirmation for their negative provisional identity, developed in the context of the [early] family" (304).

The book gives a lot of case studies. It proposes a variation of voice dialogue to unearth and expose the negative self-talk and give lots of examples of how they do this. The book embraces the topic of voice dialogue and quotes Christopher Lasch, "The distinguishing character of selfhood...is not rationality; rather, the critical awareness of man's divided nature." The book's take on unearthing negative self talk is more talk-therapy than inner-child related. See TA, Voice Dialogue or the Three Selves for the more solution-oriented approaches to conversing with your inner "parts."

Addictions and dysfunctional fantasy life, including masturbatory behavior, come in for lots of discussion. Addiction is discussed as "...a fundamental choice away from relationships" (41) `The child (and adult) unconsciously rejects real gratification and gives up goal-directed activity to hold on to the safety of a fantasy world over which he or she has complete control."

The unexamined life tends to repeat and recreate early family dynamics, good or ill. Beyond this, the authors point to two existential issues that clearly block us from the kind of intimacy Deida encourages. A radio interview Joyce Catlett gave on KPFK put a better point on this than the book does. She said that two fears block us at the deepest level. One is the fear of being separated and isolated from the ones we love [the Beloved]. The other fear is being overwhelmed and swallowed whole [merged and] losing our identity in our loved one [or the Beloved]. "...being loved challenges core psychological defenses" (311)

I've been checking this out. It does indeed seem to be the case; fear breaks down into two categories, fear of separation-isolation; and, fear of dissolution and loss of identity in merging with the Beloved. Some classical associations arise here. Separation and pain associate with darkness. Converging with ecstasy associates with light and bliss. Acknowledging and backtracking thru these two fears has clarified for me where I got off track navigating towards the undefended loving Deida encourages. These topics, more commonly found in spiritual literature, can be applied productively to couples counseling and self-examination.

If you've ever had someone tell you, "I don't know what you're thinking," and "You never tell me anything," this book is for you. I never knew I was the withholding type (as described by Firestone) but this book hit the nail on the head.

I'm not sure exactly what to do with the information. It seems you may need some pretty specific help with a therapist to undo the negative messages "stuck in your craw" but just the awareness of my problem has helped my relationship in very real ways.

I picked up this book as a way to understand the behavior of someone close to me, and I was amazed at how much of it I could apply to myself. The book offered so much insight into people and their behaviors. I have recommended this book to many people and have even bought it as a gift. This book is written in a more clinical way, perhaps not readily consumed by the masses, but I found it to be much more insightful and "helpful" than any self-help book I've ever read. I recommend this to anyone who has an interest in human behavior.

Sexual, emotional or spiritual vulnerability takes considerable courage and the authors make a compelling case for the fear of intimacy. The book starts fast and is very dense but digestable. The authors lighten up on the content about midway into the section on psychodynamics of relationships and the strong theme of the opening chapters seem to fade into generalities. I have often recommended the book to clients based solely on the value of the first few chapters.