Relationships Books

This chattly volume by a team of husband and wife social scientists offers great insight into the workings of the human personality, and how to handle it.

This is a well written description of the various aspects of the self. As psychotherapists they are able to use working examples to follow a process for discovering the complexities and hidden characteristics that make up the "whole" self. Well worth the read and very helpful if you're looking for practical help.

These two authors are revolutionary in their scope, breath, and personal integration of thier information. As you read this book you know that they truly understand their work and are genuinely on the path they show. These authors are to be admired and appreciated for the transformational work they bring to the field of psychology.

This book truly was the one that changed my life completely and helped me understand all those voices and selves inside me. What a revelation!

Also check out their lesser known classic "You Don't Have to Write a Book!" by Sidra Stone and Hal Stone.

The idea of "parts work" is very 'frontier' these days so I was interested to see the Stone's take on it. (Having worked with "Internal Family Systems Work" [Schwartz] and Focusing [Gendlin/Cornell] as well as the earlier versions by Bradshaw et al.)
First, the writing is stilted and clinical. Unnecessarily technical.
As to content... let's just say that the concept isn't given full treatment, here. The introduction suggests that sections of this title were 'spun off' from the second edition to become their own books. (The fact that the Stones have half-a-dozen titles on this subject say something about their commercial interest in the subject.)
Another problem I have with the material is what I refer to as the 'Dianetics Dilemma'... you NEED a partner to do this process. Go to the website for Voice Dialogue and you will see links to PROFESSIONAL facilitators but no mention of other ways of finding a facilitator.
Finally, my biggest argument with this treatment w/ Parts Work is that it doesn't go far enough. Voice Dialogue uses a Gestalt-like process of taking on the voice of a subpersonality and otherwise embodying it in physical/emotional/mental space to get to know it. From this perspective, the facilitator interviews your subpersonality, helping you to gain insight into this part. Afterwards, you come back to 'ego awareness' and discuss the session to get more insight.
That's all well and good but I think that Focusing does a much better job with the process. Voice Dialogue limits the work to parts that are verbal, fully-formed personalities. Focusing is inclusive enough to allow non-verbal, fuzzy personalities to express themselves and be heard. Voice Dialogue also limits itself by setting up categories for the subpersonalities, a priori. There are primary selves, 'Pushers', disowned selves, etc that are already in place, waiting for us to label and manage. Focusing allows the personalities to describe themselves to us, to develop uniquely, with our respect and appreciation.
[Schwartz's Inner Family Systems Therapy, likewise, categorizes the parts and does some of the session with the client vocalizing for the part. Schwartz's work ALSO trains the client to develop a stronger, more beneficent Ego to be able to moderate the subpersonalities.]
In summary, the ideas of Voice Dialogue, to the degree that it lines up with the work of Schwartz, Gendlin/Cornell, Bradshaw, and others... confirms the importance of this work. Does it advance the ideas or present new concepts that improve the practice? I don't think so. I give it a three only because the Stones were one of the pioneers of parts work so I have to tip my hat to them. But I would read other authors and incorporate the Stones writings into what the field, as a whole, is saying.

I can vouch for the genuine success in business of the author of Fitting In, Standing Out. The author states that she was 14 when she knew what she wanted to do, but actually she was only about 8 or 9 when she first had her dream of being a CPA of an extraordinary nature. She was truly one who let nothing stop her to achieve her goals.

The only thing missing from her tale is that there were so many that had to fight for women's rights first to allow her dream to come true, and they should also be acknowledged. The author also overlooked the support from family she received to help her achieve her goals and that the truly successful person maintains a balance of both career and family.

The FISO factor is an imaginative way to approach a way to succeed in the corporate world.

Blythe's book has become the centerpiece of how I fit leadership and personal development into a tight circle - when I look at all the leadership, consulting and other books; they fit into one of the FISO Factor Catalysts. This makes FISO the foundation, the leadership platform as Blythe states, of personal success. I've now recommended this book to over 100 people without hesitation. Life long learning dictates continuing to read new books and developing ones' self and FISO with the six catalysts is the center of the mind map. When you have read your Zig Ziglar and Stephen Covey, sit down with this book as you develop your mission statement and you will be rewarded. But remember, to successfully execute your mission statement, you will need the skills to fit in and stand out - the FISO Factor.

Author Blythe McGarvie presents a thoughtful, intelligent analysis of the paradox of leadership success - the simultaneous needs to "fit in" and "stand out" She teaches the prospective executive how to build a strong platform of leadership, resting firmly on this seemingly contradictory foundation. McGarvie explains that to be accepted and allowed to thrive, you must learn how to integrate or "fit in" to your company's culture and structure. Then, you must also "stand out" by visibly exhibiting your strengths, intelligence and talents, so you can move up the ladder. Drawing on her extensive executive experience, she breaks the "FISO Factor" down into six basic elements including fiscal savvy, honor, perceptiveness, networking, thirst for knowledge and worldwide citizenship. We recommend this well-reasoned, thought-provoking leadership development program to anyone who is searching for the keys to unlock the executive suite.

Ethical standards and implications can make or break a company today" example, Enron. "In late 1999, several years before the high-profile revelations of corporate misconduct that began emerging in and after 2001," a survey of employee perceptions of organizational and leadership integrity discovered that 76 percent said they had observed violations of the law or company standards in the past twelve months. Clearly, U. S. employees are witnessing ethical and legal misconduct at work. Thus, a crisis in integrity leads directly to a crisis in trust. Integrity is a business imperative.

Prior to the "Scientific Revolution," mysticism was an integral and unquestioned part of human beliefs. The North Star has spiritual and mythical significance. Alternately called the Fire Star and the Chief Star by different groups. Integrity is clearly the Chief Star of today's business leaders because it creates a context for everything they do. Integrity's definition has evolved over the years but today its primary meaning as a "steadfast adherence to strict moral or ethical code" is widely acknowledged. Ethics is a key quality in long-term leadership success.

Globalization is our passport to business opportunity. Corporations exist in an ever-connected global community. Global citizenship enables leaders to transcend geographic boundaries. However, globalization is controversial today, viewed by many as un-American.

Everyone ages, but we all know people who never seem to get old. Sure, they have wrinkles and gray hair, but because they also have a sparkle in their eyes and active, open minds, we tend not to perceive them as "old." How do these people retain their youthful countenance? "Often, it is their interest in the world, their curiosity. They have discovered a wellspring of renewal that drives passion, alertness, and spirit. It is a love of learning." Business cannot hope to prosper in a foreign country, "be it Romania, China, or Peru, without an appreciation for the values, beliefs, social mores, politics, tastes, and fears of the people in that country. Philosophy, history, and literature can provide the access to thoughts and feelings of a culture."

Business is but one aspect of life's experience, hardly distinct or isolated from the environment in which it functions. "Business success depends upon people and therefore upon awareness of politics, social trends, attitudes and values, and a myriad of other expressions of human emotions, fears, drives, and desires. Literature and philosophy are the best sources for appreciating whatever universals might exist among people over time and place. Literature and history allow for a more time sensitive and culturally determined appreciation of the human condition." The author's father obtained his PhD from the University of Chicago in 1969.

In 1865, an Oxford mathematician named Charles Lutwidge Dodson self-published a flight of fancy which has entranced both children and adults ever since. "Writing as Lewis Carrol, Dodson created an excellent parable for all aspiring leaders" by the title, "Alice In Wonderland." Historically, the integrity of corporate leaders has often been questioned. "The Robber Barons of the late 19th century, men such as Andrew Carnegie, John D. Rockefeller, Cornelius and William Vanderbilt, and J. P. Morgan, were accused of building great personal fortunes by unsavory means. Interestingly, the widespread use of the derogatory label dates to the 1930s and the era of the Great Depression, which is often blamed on the manipulations of business leaders or poor government responses. During both world wars, corporate leaders were accussed of profiteering."

She ends with this quote, often attributed to Dale Carnegie: "Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get." It is her hope that this book helps you find both, in business and in life.

Since I have two teenage nieces who live in other states, Catherine Dee's books are one way I can pass on ideas and thoughts that are good for them as they grow up. Two years ago I purchased The Girls' Book of Wisdom for both of them for Christmas (in fact, I have this one myself!). I'm sending one niece The Girls' Book of Friendship and The Girls' Book of Love for her birthday. The whole series is great!

Catherine Dee's brilliant blend of quotes, poetry, stories, advice and honest questions are a must-read for every girl falling in or out of love. Everyone's heart is different-yet each can be touched by these pages. Just reading this book brought me on a journey through every emotion and love that I've ever felt.


This is the big sister that you always wish you had when it comes to matters of the heart.

The Girls' Book of Love has been a great, great help to me. I read it when I fell deeply in love, and it had great tips for me!

Who do you talk to the most about love? Friends? The 'rents? Ever feel like the sitch is helpless because your friends all have the same probs as you and Mom's great advice piece is "boys are just silly"? Why couldn't we have a great guide, jst for girls that shared insights about love from all sorts of people, even guys?! Well relax ladies, it's finally here!

From the author of The Girls' Book of Friendship and The Girls' Book of Wisdom comes a new guide for girls on love and life. And it's not a "how to" guide that'll show you how to flirt like a pro and snag yourself a sweetie. It's a lively lil' collection with cool quotes, true stories, love poems, and a guy's eye view. All meant to " deepen your understanding of love," the joy and the pain. There's even thoughts from fabulous gals and guys like Madonna and Justin Timberlake.

More than anything in this transitory life mine eyes desire the sight of you. ~Catherine of Aragon

The Girls' Book of Love is a collection of stories, poems, lyrics and quotes. Throughout the pages of this beautiful collection, the mysteries of love are revealed. It is more a celebration than an explanation and you will also discover trends and trivia.

Is personality more important than looks?
Is there a scientific way to measure love?
What are the first signs of falling in love?
Can fantasy be a natural pain reliever?
Why should you whisper into the left ear?

I remember being in love when I was just seven years old and I think all girls can relate to the desire to be in love all the time. Being in love makes the world more interesting, you feel more inspired and for women, this might just be a way of life.

A few of the true love stories take place in exotic places. A sixteen-year-old gazes intensely at her newfound love while visiting temples in India and then while traveling in Egypt, a girl is frozen in place by the sight of boy she views from a distance.

"Although our time together was short, it's a treasure I'll hold in my heart forever. He was the beginning of something great, and through his eyes I saw the beauty of life. ~Dina Chehata, 16

Reading about love and being in love is pure pleasure for the female heart. Catherine Dee has captured these desires, soul longings, the wonder and excitement of first love and the experience of discovering something new. Within these pages you will find intellectual enjoyment to satisfy your curiosity and warmth and longing to satisfy your heart.

~The Rebecca Review

I gave this book to my best friend at his wedding. I can't think of a better gift for someone you care about on the advent of their wedding than a book that helps them remember to make Christ a member of the family. A marriage is a lifelong experience that can only be made better with the recognition of the proper influence of God during the day to day decision making processes of a marriage. At least that is my opinion.

This book is amazing. I am single, and it totally spoke to me all the way through. I've read books in the past that did not do so well on that. When they got to dating relationship and marriage, it kind of left those of us who are single out. But Craig's book helps keeps every relationship status involved throughout the book. I found that after reading it, I put it next to my bed and keep it as a quick reference.

I encourage you to buy this book. But beware...when you read it, you'll want to purchase one for all your friends!

Groeschel hits the target! This book is a staple and a must read for ALL that are considering or have respect for the institution of marriage! Teens, Young Adults, Adults, Divorced, Married... all need to have this prize in their hands. Each page is filled with straight forward truth about how to find and keep that special someone...no fluff and flutter! So where was this book 11 years ago before I was married? This book truly is a great gem for those that are already married like myself as well. So pick one up! I rate this book as one we will be passing down for generations to come! A must read!

This past month, Going All The Way: preparing for a marriage that goes the distance, finally made it off the shelf and into the "read me" pile. Stefani and I got this book as a gift and agreed to blog about it - then life went a little crazy. But, it made it off and was worth the read.If you are looking to date, are dating, are thinking about marriage, or are in the midst of making wedding plans - I recommend you read this book. Also, if you work in pre-marital counseling or with young married couples - read this book.

Craig Groeschel, founder and pastor of LifeChurch.tv, doesn't share research data or psychological principles for building strong marriages. Instead, his approach for fostering committed, long-lasting marriages come through his real life experiences - full of messy relationships, and a journey that led him to meet his "One" - entering into a relationship with Jesus Christ. Through self study he learned the importance of developing a relationship with his "One" first, then working to find his "Two".

This August, Stefani and I will be married 13 years. Some of you are probably thinking, "this isn't exactly the time to be reading a book preparing you for marriage." Truthfully, it was refreshing to read this book - seeing in print many of the "habits" (chp.14), we have put into practice throughout our relationship. It was also a great reminder that passion and pursuit doesn't stop once you get married - passion and pursuit are a vital part of the marriage covenant that "goes all the way."

Thanks to Craig Groeschel for writing this book from his life story - challenging us to live differently than what society calls "normal"

At our last youth event on of my 8th graders broke his nose while we were playing in a youth touch football tournament away from home. After a few minutes the bleeding stopped and he seemed a bit confused so we called the parimedics just in case there was a concussion and to make sure his nose wasn't broken to badly. We'll the ambulance arrived and I hopped in (leaving the rest of our football team in the care of our great volunteers) and was asked to sit up front. I got in the driver asked if I wanted to put on the head set so we could talk and he asked the usual questions. What happened? What were you guys doing? Who are you with? As I explained who we are, what we were doing and what happened he told me his youth group never did anything like that but just went to summer camp. Now just a few days before I had sat in on a workshop about conversational evangelism and I decided to ask the question, "so do you attend church now?" and he said yes then said that we were on the main channel and everyone could hear our conversation. So thinking it was over and not wanted to push it I dropped the conversation and waited for a minute to see what we could talk about next when he brought it back up again. He began to tell me about the way the church he grew up in treated his mom after she divorced his father and how they continued to attend on and off for a while. Eventually his mom started attending a big church in the area and he and his wife started to go but but for awhile they were sporadic in attendance. And right after that he said the most profound statement a non committed Christian can say about God and marriage. He told me that for a while his marriage had been on the rocks and how since they have been attending regularly his marriage has been getting better and I could tell that meant a lot to him.

All of us want better marriages and stronger marriages but most people have a hard time figuring out what it takes to get there. Craig Groechels's book brings the answer back into focus by realigning our number 1 and our number 2 and then pieces begin to fall into place behind them. With the business of life we allow all kinds of things to become our number 1, sometimes its our spouse, or our jobs, a lot of people put that focus on the children and a good number of us put it in places it totally doesn't belong (ie. hobbies, friends, affairs) never realizing that for the relationship of marriage to work our number 1 has to be God, completely focused on Him and making sure that our relationship with Him is strong (by daily connecting with Him prayer and listening to Him through His word, commitment to His church and living our life every minute relying on Him to direct us) and then rightfully place our spouse as number 2 and make sure that we are strong in that relationship as well (taking time to talk, dating your spouse, praying together) and these practices build a strong marriage and it cannot happen any other way.

Going All The Way is great book that is easy to read, full of life stories that make it real, and Craig is funny and honest never ducking from tell us how he has messed up and how he has worked to make his marriage strong. I've already given a copy as a wedding gift (to my sister) and know of at least two more friends that I want to send it to as well. As a guy who has made mistakes in his marriage and at times placed the focus of my number 1 on other things than God and my wife I have been really encouraged and after reading this book we are working to realign our focus as a couple on God first and then each other.

As I we kept driving to the hospital that afternoon and the Fireman/ EMT told me that, I responded by saying that I wish more couple realized that God is the answer to our marriage problems. Focusing on God is the only way to have and maintain a health marriage.

Pauline Laurent's "Grief Denied: A Vietnam Widow's Story" struck me more profoundly than any book I've ever read. I have dealt with grief in my own life and that of others, but never have I been moved to such outpouring of tears. The book hit a deep emotional chord as I read of the non-embraced grief that Pauline endured through years when society was angry and rejecting of anything related to the Vietnam War. I mourned for Paulne's loss and for her fatherless daughter. And I mourned in personal shame how righteously intolerant I was during that era. Pauline's story is about more than grief. It is about courage, resilience, and recovery. This book is poignant and gripping; it will live in your heart. Michael DeMarchi, hospice volunteer

A Grief Denied is a profound study in complicated grief, spiritual healing and self-care. As an advanced practice nurse, I highly recommend this book for all those who have lost someone to a sudden trauma such as war, those interested in the Vietnam war and its aftermath in personal lives, and for caregivers who often lose sight of how people cannot really bury trauma and loss. Those who do spiritual counseling, formation, and work in the grief field should take special note: This is a shattering book full of many truths that we often don't see and only with help can begin to feel. Keep the tissue box handy. The author exposes her raw emotion and pain. To read this book, helps ALL of us understand the story beyond the obituary and our own often inept ways of making sure that the survivors really do survive.

Pauline's account of her early days of being a young military war widow and pregnant with the child that will never meet her father touched me to the deepest part of my soul. It was the first, and only, account of what my world was like and spoke a language I thought no one knew. Her message of denying grief is strong and resounding, most with personal antidotes, struggles and triumphs. I recommend this book to any and every person that either experiences first hand the life of a military widow or knows a person who is walking the path of widowhood alone.

Pauline Laurent wrote Grief Denied: A Vietnam Widow's Story. I'm glad I had the opportunity to actually meet Pauline before I read her story. It's hard to believe she has had so much sorrow in her life and yet she keeps an upbeat attitude. This excellent book shows Pauline's struggle to deal with the loss of her husband, the birth of her child, her pain for more than 20 years and how she coped.

This book showed what this one woman went through and I'm sure so many others did too. BUT Pauline has had the courage to write about how Howard's life and death affected her and her child. It is a well-done book and should be read by everyone. I sincerely hope that it helps other widows heal also especially now that we have another generation of young widows among our population. Pauline should be proud of this book.

I was so touched by the reading of this book, that I cried like a baby for the first time since I returned back from Vietnam. I was there myself and knew many men, such as Pauline's husband. I just never realized how much grief and stress that those left behind had suffered. Pauline is an example of someone who has had to learn how to cope and deal with the death of her husband, without any road maps. She lead with her heart and let her emotions take her to places she had never visited before. She allows us to take that journey of her spirit, though the pages of this wonderfully, well written, book of her emotional expereinces. I could not put this book down once I began - not until I reached and read the final word on the last page. I highly recommend buying and reading of this book. It will move you in ways you thought possible.

This is a very creatively written book by I am for certain a very creative author. I enjoyed reading this book especially because it helps remind one that spiritually there is always help for one in the spiritual realms. This is a very creative and enlightening book on connecting to the spiritual/celestial realms for help and using your imagination to hire the celestial helpers for your everyday concerns to tap into the universal energy for assistance. It is a very brief but informative and entertaining read. Admittedly I was also persuaded by Janet's positive review of the book (thank you Janet) and am glad to have purchased it. I would definitely have to agree that this is a practical guide to developing working relationships with the spirits of creation and it gives interesting ideas on names to give for committees that you would hire based on concerns and holding "meetings" regarding the help you need. I personally have used some of the suggestions in this book and it has helped make my life easier. Definitely consider this guide if you are in the process of deciding.

Wow! Wow! Wow! From the moment I picked up Hiring the Heavens, I knew this book was exactly what I had needed. I have been a student of the Law of Attraction for many years. However, my truest desires seemed to elude me. I spent a great deal of time thinking "What is wrong with me?".

After reading Hiring the Heavens, my life has been completely transformed in every area of my life, including my business, my relationships and my level of prosperity. I loved the simple and powerful principles in this book that I tell everyone about it. It is a must read!

Using your guides, angels or Spirit Guides to support you in your personal transformation and your life. Great tools! You're not alone and you have all the helpers of heaven especially after reading this book.

I listened to Jean Slatter talk at the American Society of Dowsers annual convention. Then I bought her book "Hiring the Heavens". After two years plus of putting her guide to work I am well on my way to achieving my goals. I highly recommend this book. Jean Slatter's system has put me on the right path, allowing me to "retire" and work for myself.

Being a person who thinks I have to control everything, I found this book a huge relief of that pressure. The concepts in the book are simple, easy to use and fun. I've told lots of friends about this book and they continue to thank me as they are finding this concept life changing like I am.

This fascinating look into the mind of an ex-porn star turned female porn filmmaker was the first full book I'd read on my new Kindle. I must admit being surprised at how well the Kindle functions. It is very easy on the eyes and unlike working on my Mac my eyes don't get tired from reading text on the Kindle. Even reading the Kindle while riding an exercise bike or commuting by train doesn't bother my eyes and I'm not even reading text set on the largest font setting. The Kindle is proof that E-Books will soon become a favored way to publish as well as the chief method of reading books. It is a sign of the digital publishing world to come. The savings for printing, storing and shipping books will be cut those costs to basically nothing. Entire forests will be spared. E-Books are the ultimate goal of the green movement. In addition to saving a ton of money, E-Books can also be easily updated regularly.
Returning to the book review, I enjoyed this particular book because as a former male documentary film and video maker, it was fascinating to me to see how the feminine mind works. Their approach to making erotica and porn film is very different than the approach and vision of most of their male counterparts. This author/filmmaker approaches it just as she approaches sexual fantasies. In this volume the writer explains to female readers how to apply the same principles she uses to making an erotic female porn film to finding and judging potential mates. She is looking for sensitive men who are truly interested in her and making her happy. She explains how she judges whether a potential leading man for one of her films is sensitive enough to exhibit the erotic passions she desires in her own erotic fantasy life as well in her film. It only takes reading the first few chapters to realize the truth of the statement that it is "women who rule the world." They are the ones in charge just as the passive Sub is really in charge of the Dom as well as the scene.
I'd not yet reached the half way mark in the book when I began to doubt that it was really necessary to apply all the same standards to finding leading men for her films as she was using for finding her own flawless lover. Her image of her own perfect lover/mate also seemed at bit too perfect of a fantasy to actually find in real life. She appeared to have placed her own ideal lover upon a pedestal much like an ancient Greek statue of an nude Olympian. Feeling a bit inferior to her perfect model I continued reading. To me, photography, film and video are not real. The camera lies. Models and actors usually aren't at all like they appear on screen. Their bone structure and other physical features that often aren't even noticeable in real life, come together in such a way to make them appear more perfect than they really are when photographed. They are simply photogenic. Some actors also can act and too many can't. What you see on the screen is often 180 degrees from what the actors are really like. With these nagging doubts in the back of my mind I read on. It's easy to see why women tend to like this book so well. The same is probably true for her erotic videos.
Even as a male, I found reading this book enlightening. The author/filmmaker is constantly stressing how important lighting, music, makeup, mood and location are for love making both in film and in real life. She provides long lists of sample music and practical ideas for flattering lighting. She warns her readers how to avoid finding themselves in a situation where you are worried about your lover becoming more interested in the actress on the screen than you and how to avoid having their lover or themselves experience feelings of physical inferiority to the movie actors in her films.
Another of the many puzzling things to me was how many people really have the time or energy to spend so much time having sex. Many of her fantasy sessions seem intended to last for many hours or most of the night. That's good if you have the entire weekend for playing such games or if you don't have to get up and go to work in the morning. Perhaps the author was describing only occasional sexual fantasies? This book is well worth the time it takes to read and enjoy. It makes you want to run out of the house or office to buy some of the author's erotic films as soon as possible. This tome gives the reader lots of ideas for adding the extra orgasms back in their sex life. Every couple can benefit from some of the creative suggestions the author provides for adding zip to their routine sex lives.
One final note on the sub-topic of this review. It's difficult to resist mentioning how much I enjoyed the delivery system of this book. Although I've been doing more and more reading on my Kindle, yesterday, when I was ordering a book on Amazon.com I noticed there was a chance to order the book on Kindle or in actual "dead tree" paperback. I choose the paperback book. The price reduction for the Kindle version wasn't enough of a savings. Although I'm adapting to Kindle editions, given a choice I'll still usually pick the regular, more familiar book format. I expect that in many cases, unless I'm planning to be traveling and don't want to carry around a bunch of heavy books, I'll still favor the "real hard copy of the book" if that version is available. However, I predict that in the near future most books will only be available in digital formats. Economics and conservation goals will eventually combine to eliminate the choice. It may take decades before the new generation thinks "Digital E-Books" are the normal method of publication, but it is coming. One only has to see what has happened to photography to see the future of book publishing. I hope this reviewer's fascination with this new book delivery system doesn't distract the potential reader of this volume from buying this enlightening guide book for upgrading their own sex life with dozens and dozens of very pragmatic and creative suggestions. It's fun to have so many kinds of yummy desserts from which to choose.

How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do: Sex Advice from a Woman Who Knows

Because of the title, I taught that this was a man oriented book in wich Mrs Royalle was doing us the favor or revealing "the secret" to please our women. It is more a women oriented book who tells the girls how to make sure they will get what they want...and asking in the most subtle way if they have to. I enjoyed the book for my part even if it was impossible for me to practice some of the "Tricks" we found in it but, If I ever have the chance to meet a girl who has read that book and who is becoming "subtle" with me, I will probably react much better and not asking myself "What is going on ?"
Don't get me wrong here, there are a few tricks for men but the book was created for women and teach how to get her men to do things she wants.

Candida Royalle so generously shares her wisdom and experience with us in this book. Fabulous for women, but also for men. It is written from the heart as well as the clit! It's fun, sexy and a very worthwhile read. I enjoyed reading about Candida's experiences as a feminist sex film maker. Very inspiring. From a certified sexologist's perspective, the book's information is also very sound and current.
Annie Sprinkle, Ph.D.

I really enjoyed this book. I found that it covers the many areas of sexuality that women want talking to. I liked how Candida personalized it, made it more authentic and very readable.

This is a wonderful, down-to earth and sexy book!!! I have given it to some of my friends who are in new relationships and they have loved it, too. Candida Royalle's engaging and generously personal writing style has much to offer her audience. A must-read for all women who wish to nuture and enhance their erotic lives. Great insight and suggestions for keeping long-term relationships exciting, as well as beauty and health tips aimed to help women feel and look their best. An empowering, positive message!

I read this book in one evening because I could not put it down once I started. Hug Your Kids Today reminded me of many things I already know, but in the 'busy-ness' of 'business' I sometimes forget. It has great ideas, suggestions and strategies for staying connected with kids, showing affection, and accepting and loving them for who they are. Whether you're a stay at home mom or a parent who works 80 hours a week outside the home, there is something in here that will speak directly to you.

One of my favorite parts of this book was reading about Mark's story; Nichols' 8-year old son who died of brain cancer. I enjoyed getting a glimpse into what a brilliant, insightful child he was and the wonderful message he left behind. "Tell a joke, share, and be a good friend." These are great words to live by for anyone of any age. The author's frank look at the devastation and horrible aftermath of losing a child makes you want to run straight to your child, hug them, and never let go.

While many parenting writers come across as preachy and flawless, I really appreciated the author's candor with regard to her own shortcomings, which all of us have and can identify with, and learn from. Nichols also gives readers simple strategies and ideas for building connections with kids and creating fun (sometimes crazy) memories in our families. Hug Your Kids is a super easy read, has fantastic anecdotes, and definitely has something for parents in all ages and stages of life. I loved it and have hugged my kids like crazy every day since!

Michelle, Mark me down as one of the read-it-all-at-once club. I almost feel honored that you shared this with the world. Thank you. I am already recommending it to others, including an online message board community I go to that has a book and blog forum. It has made a difference in my life and I know it will bless so many others.

I recently experienced the privilege of hearing Michelle Nichols speak at an eWomen Network event in Reno, NV. Her personal story and the wisdom in her message moved me deeply. Then, I read her book. It was journey of tears and laughter. A journey I am grateful that I took; a journey that I will encourage others to take. Everyone should read this book, parent or not; the message will advance humanity.

Why is a man with no children like me buying and reviewing this book? Because as a former corporate executive who is soon to become a family therapist, I feel that this engaging and uplifting book belongs on every working parent's desk.

This is really two books in one. The first part of it takes you into the heart of every parent's worst nightmare, as Michelle walks you through the sudden death of her 8-year-old son from a brain tumor, and how their healing process turned into something much bigger than themselves: the start of a national Hug Your Kids Day.

Which leads us to the second part of the book: a five-step process for keeping your balance and perspective as a working parent. It starts *and* ends with hugging your kids every day, in a path that goes through closeness, laughter and faith along the way. Nichols, a former Business Week columnist and successful speaker, has turned her passion into a national movement that played out everywhere from baseball stadiums to freeway billboards across the nation this summer, and will hopefully continue to grow into a force for happier families.

Hugs are a powerful metaphor for family life. The dynamics of a family can turn in many different ways, but underneath it all a family that laughs, loves, and hugs each other regularly is in my view the key to an authentic and fulfilling life - as well as happier and more productive workplaces. That is why this book has something to say to everyone from working parents to corporate HR executives with parents in their workplaces. So buy this book now, and then go hug your kids!

You better buy two copies of this book, because once you read it, you will want to share it, but not give up your copy! This book is a diamond! It will revolutionize our families and workforce for the better, if we would simply read it, and apply the insights and principles found inside. This book made me laugh, cry and think. This book is worthy of your time, and one you will be proud to share with others.

A very good piece of work with some precious pearls of wisdom. An excellent read. Great for newlyweds and seasoned couples alike. Highly recommended.

I am reading this book now. I wish I would've read this book before I got married. Unfortunately, I am divorcing, but I can say that this book is a real pick-me-up. I am now understanding the role of a man and a woman in a marriage and now I know what to look for when I do get married again. The responsibility of a man in the household, How men and women are different, how to get past hurts and how not to be manipulitive. God wants relationships to have order. Work as a team under the guidance of the Almighty. Women and men are the same in the spirit, but they provide a different function. If one person doesn't fulfill their role, the marriage will not work. The love emotions will fade and it will end in disaster! Amen! I went through it. I haven't finished reading all the chapters yet, but I can't put it down. Decide for yourself, it is a real blessing to me. Thanks Bishop Long!!!

Eddie Long presents a book attempting to teach people about Godly relationships and what both sexes require in them. While his intentions are certainly noble, they fell short of pleasing or helping me in several important areas. Before I start my ranting, let me say that he does make some very good points about marriage and the sexes. Heck, the man even points out that Delilah wasn't all bad, and you gotta give him gutsy points for that! I applaud him for certain comments, such as telling men not to blame their wives for their problems and to listen to and value their opinions; he also gives women some good advice about men. So what's my problem with him? Well, in spite of all his seeming understanding of the female spirit, his ideas of a woman's role in society are nothing short of old-fashionedly sexist.

First of all, he began with the fatal error of telling me that wives should obey their husbands. Not submit to, but obey, as though wives are children. Now, I believe that a wife should love and honor her husband, submitting to his needs as he submits to hers (hey, I've read the Bible and I know what a Godly marriage requires). However, the word "obedience" is an absolute no-no in the marriage vocabulary as far as I'm concerned. This obedience thing honestly surprised me, since he had claimed that women are equal to men. Apparently, someone should have explained to him the meaning of equality, because several of his other comments contradict his supposed belief in it.

When he talks about female obedience, he doesn't draw the line at marriage alone, but indicates that a woman's lot in life is to be obedient to a male force: "her father before marriage, her husband after marriage, and possibly a pastor in an intermediate period." So, where's the equality? As an independent woman, there is hardly anything that offends me more than a man presuming to tell a woman that obedience is best for her (isn't that similar to what Southern whites used to tell Africans about slavery?) Other contradictions are visible in his writing; for example, in spite of saying that it's okay for a woman to be single, he indicates that women were made for men, both to give them companionship and to bear them babies. Men NEED women, he says, and women so need to nurture their men. He even pulled the age-old trick of saying that a woman can influence a man by submitting to him. He basically seemed to be saying that we're supposed to obey our husbands and be their mommies at the same time.

Maybe Long realized that he sounded sexist, because he went way out of his way to praise women's strengths and to emphasize how much men need us, so much so that he actually made me wonder why men SHOULD be in charge if we're so great and they're so needy. The final straw for me was his comments about women having jobs. He said, "I think I understand why women take on men's jobs. Either they've been abandoned and forced to work, or abused in the past and would rather work than rely on a man." Um, you forgot a third possiblility, buddy: Maybe we take on "men's" jobs because we're perfectly competent and capable of doing so! Why imply that a woman only works if there's something wrong with her? With this comment, his claim of belief in equality flew out the window once and for all. But then, I should have seen this coming when he said wives should be obedient; how are women to be equals in society if our own husbands don't treat us as such? Marriage is about two people coming together, NOT about the wife morphing into the husband.

I suppose Long and his wife have the right to practice one-sided marital submission, but he doesn't have the right to pass this off as God's will and attempt to cram it down our throats repeatedly. His agenda is clear when he calls disobedient wives "ungrateful" and tells women that if they don't obey their husbands, their marriage will be miserable and their children will be dysfunctional because they won't know how to deal with male/female relationships. Whatever, fella; I fully intend to get married without obeying my husband. I guess I'll just have to pray that my heinous ingratitude doesn't drive my poor family into therapy. Don't be fooled by his sweet talk, ladies; what his message really boils down to is this: it's perfectly okay for a woman to be strong, but only if she stays in her place. Which, in case you weren't paying attention, is consistently under a man's control.

This is an excellent book on relationship within the family and the body of christ. It helps woman and men to know there place and function in the physical and spiritual.

This book helped change my life. The Lord works in wonderous ways!

This book could not have come at a better time. I was panic-stricken about getting my 15 month old daughter on the wait lists for all of the 'best' pre-schools in my area. I was writing checks, completing forms, filling out more paperwork than I did for graduate school. Why was I doing all this? So she would be happy, of course. As a new parent, I am guilty of saying 'all I want is for her to be happy' but with no thought as to what that means, or why I even say it. This book took my vague concept of happiness and helped me understand what 'authentic happiness' really is, and how to work toward acheiving it, not only for my daughter, but for me as a parent.

I found it to be a very easy read, well-researched, and I really appreciated the fact that the book gave real-world examples on how to apply the theory into our busy parenting lives. I can't recommend this book enough, both as a parent and as a clinical social worker.

I am certain I will refer to this book often as a guide to good parenting as my child grows older.

Helpful, insightful, and filled with great advice, "I Just Want My Kids To Be Happy!" is a book today's parents must read...While parents are more committed than ever to their children's happiness, kids today are more worried, more anxious, and more depressed--a fact the authors point out so well through the use of statistics and examples...If I could afford it, I would purchase a copy of this book for all expectant and new parents. It sheds light on how changes in the focus of what is important have created a society of children who aren't prepared for the realities of life..."I Just Want My Kids To Be Happy!: Why You Shouldn't Say It, Why You Shouldn't Think It, What You Should Embrace Instead" shows parents in an easy and helpful way how to bring up children who are truly happy, not ones who experience short-term pleasure at the expense of long-term happiness...I highly recommend this book to parents, grandparents, and caregivers everywhere!

Many parents confuse happiness with short-term pleasure. Instead of allowing their kids to work through unhappy times, they feel it's necessary to make sure kids never experience disappointment, sadness, and other unpleasant emotions. What parents don't realize is that those feelings help kids grow up to be emotionally mature adults.

Just because your kids appear to be happy doesn't mean they really are. Kids try to please their parents, and you might be surprised to find they're wearing a smile because you've told them you just want them to be happy.

If you're truly concerned about your child's long-term happiness, I'd encourage you to pick up a copy of this book. Both you and your kids will benefit from these suggestions.

Reviewed by: Alice Berger
Bergers Book Reviews

Almost every parent wishes happiness upon their children more than anything else. "I Just Want My Kids to Be Happy!: Why You Shouldn't Say It, Why You Shouldn't Think It, What You Should Embrace Instead" is a guide to help parents accomplish that goal and plant the seeds of the traits that bring happiness - the seeds of optimism, kindness, and more. A must for any parent striving to promote a good psychological future for their children, "I Just Want My Kids to Be Happy!: Why You Shouldn't Say It, Why You Shouldn't Think It, What You Should Embrace Instead" is highly recommended for community library parenting collections.

What? We shouldn't want our kids to be happy? Not really, say Aaron Cooper, Ph.D. & Eric Keitel, M.Ed. Instead of focusing on their being happy all the time (causing them to pretend to be happy when they really aren't), we should teach them to accept the full range of feelings so they can handle disappointment, fear, anger, etc.

The authors say that this "...want them to be happy" mantra makes us captive to our kids' moods, feel guilt when they aren't happy, and prevents their learning to cope with adversity.

As co-author of THE COMPLETE SINGLE FATHER, I've heard how single dads who often have their kids part time, every other weekend, or just on holidays, feel they need to make their kids happy to "prove" that they're still a good parent. No doubt single moms feel similarly.

Rather than focusing on our kids being happy, we need to let them know that it's important to be healthy, caring, find meaning in their lives, have fine character, practice acts of loving kindness, and be spiritual.

I JUST WANT MY KIDS TO BE HAPPY is a most unusual and thought provoking book. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, teacher, spiritual advisor, etc., this is a special book to open your mind to what really matters in your life and your children's lives and to prepare them for whatever life brings.

I highly recommend this book.

Elaine Fantle Shimberg
ElainesBooks.com
TheCompleteSingleFather.com