People and Society Books
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If you deal with "difficult" people, you MUST read this book!Review Date: 2007-10-04
How to Handle BulliesReview Date: 2007-04-02
First the book focuses on identifying the bullies. Then it gives you a plan of action for each "type" of bully once you have identified them. It's premise is working to outsmart the bully versus fighting back which I did and it always ended up back to square one. The book also gives you scenarios and different real life cases (both successful and failures) so that you can know how to incorporate the lessons in your life and learn from the author's failures.
You must realize that you cannot keep running from corporate bullies. My sister does and she has had 15 jobs within the past 6 years. Not only did the bullies win, but her job resume reads like a book and makes her appear to be the trouble maker. Once I finish I am going to loan this book to her. I always tell my friends, just because you run from one bully another bully always surfaces, it may not be at work (and sometimes it will like my sister's corporate bullies) it may be in some other area. People...you cannot keep running from these types all of your life. At one point in time you are going to have to stand and face the music. I'm glad that I did...I ended up getting the raise that I fought for 13 years (my co worker is a brown noser and got one immediately, hence I fought back and the bullying started). Plus, now I have piece of mind knowing that I can handle any BULLY that comes my way. This book is a keeper..keep it in your library to refer back to....now, I have another bully to concur...my car dealership...a long story...but I feel confident I can handle the situation.
A MUST read!!!Review Date: 2006-08-29
Excellent book about dealing with difficult peopleReview Date: 2005-09-13
Shapiro and Jankowski present the material in an excellent fashion. Each topic they bring up is followed by an example situation that they have experienced and how the technique they used broke down the techniques of the difficult person. They also give instructions to identify what type of difficult person you are dealing with as well as a step by step formula to put you back in control of the situation.
The only negative thing I have to say about this book is that the techniques are easier said than done. The first and most important step for dealing with negative people is learning to control your emotions which is hard to do when you are being yelled at or taken advantage of.
I highly recommend it to anyone wanting to learn to deal difficult people. It's easy to read, easy to remember, and gives lots of examples. 5 out of 5 stars.
Let's Negotiate.Review Date: 2005-08-16
From grade school on, we have been exposed to bullies, usually the bigger, richer and fatter kids who bully the smaller ones on the playground. I know someone who was called "Carrot Head" to make fun of his red hair; he asked me, "What were you called on the playground?" I told him I was not singled out to be called anything. I was active, atlethic for someone so small (a regular little tomboy who could play ball and run with the best of them). However, my boys were sometimes bullied twenty-five years later. The older black kids picked on Jeff because he was so much smarter than they, and almost caused him to be hit by a car when he was trying to get away from them on his bicycle.
Zach was sensitive, so he was of the kind who would join so as not to be bullied, and he excelled in sports (for his size) and earned their support and respect. They thought he was a tough guy and so 'cool' with his swagger -- and he was not ashamed of his musical and artistic talents.
Justin became one of the bullies, as he got in with the bigger boys from the wrong side of the tracks. He blended in and became one of them, abandoning his music and the arts for the juvenile antics which get one in big trouble. He will never be a substantial adult as a result.
Tyrants come in all forms and places, not just bosses. I see some of the bus drivers as tyrants as they rant and rave and take out their frustrations on the riders who are their 'bread and butter;' they know that nothing will be done about it, and they will 'get away' with the verbal abuse. We don't have to be a Hitler to be a tyrant. Even a Sunday School teacher can be a tyrant.
About 'impossible people,' I am the expert -- as I sometimes come across to those who don't agree with me as one of those bad, bad stubborn people who won't back down. They see me as one who is not resistant and will do something about the situation. They don't see me as I talk about their antics and bad attitudes and abusive ways to City Council and KTA meetings. Those people don't see me as an 'impossible' person but a concerned citizen. I sat by a nice woman in Sunday School who said "Oh, I have heard your name; you are political." I replied, "No, I am not a Democrat or Republican; I am just verbal and vocal." I stand up for those who can't and don't know how. Whether or not I shall continue is in God's hands.
You learn in this book that if you don't rule your emotions, they will rule you. Know who you're dealing with or you'll never know how to deal with them. What you don't control often runs amok. Ultimatums without options lead to impasses. Fight, Flight or Focus. There are three different kinds of Difficult: Situationally, strategically and simply. Knowing which you have in front of you at the moment makes all the difference in how to deal with them and what the outcome will be. Whether it can be negotiated or simply ignored.
They also teach us how to turn dead ends into detours, why and how options work, "how to engage the other side in exploring options," and ending without escalating. In the beginning, they tell us a grim fairy tale with a happy ending. They tell us about the 'boss from Hell' but not about the husband or son from hell. They use colorful stories from all walks of life, from the 'scum' of the earth to the rich and famous. The authors bring lessons from business life to family life. That's all, folks!

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Great Trip PlannerReview Date: 2007-06-01
NG Guide to Scenic Highways and Byways 2 editionReview Date: 2007-02-18
National Geographic Guide to Scenic Highways and Byways: Second Edition (National Geographic Guide to Scenic Highways and
BywaysReview Date: 2007-01-05
Beautiful but lackingReview Date: 2006-11-03
A durable guide - in more ways than oneReview Date: 2006-02-19
I use the book to choose routes in advance, and when on the actual trip, always supplement it with local guides and maps. I've had good success with taking only parts of the drives, and even doing them in reverse! Highly recommended.


Great story.Review Date: 2007-07-28
He is a writer for all, with a vision that wakes the soul, mind and consciousness of all who dare pick the books up and open Pandoras Box. Happy Journey. "B" creative and learn from those who know. .....
Fast and friendly service from Amazon, many thanks.
Short & SweetReview Date: 2007-02-02
DisappointingReview Date: 2006-07-28
Small PackagesReview Date: 2006-02-14
Yes, it left me longing for more; but more is already there in the form of Ishmael, Story of B, and My Ishmael. To critique the brevity of this book is ridiculous. Being excerpts from one of the previous incarnations of Ishmael, it is not intended to be a work like any of his full-length novels, yet it manages to breathe with the same life of any of this work's brain-siblings.
At the risk of sounding overly sentimental, the timeless wisdom and beautiful prose of Tales of Adam brought me to tears at several points - as much because I am a father as for the fact that I am a child of this world who relates so much to the reverence Quinn holds for the world of life around and within us.
For long-time Quinn fans, this is a Quinn-tessential book to add to your collection. For those new to Quinn's writings, this is a fabulous introduction to this important author, who so masterfully weaves together significant ideas and compelling narrative.
As always Mr. Quinn, THANK YOU!
Law of LifeReview Date: 2005-12-28
Adam tells his son after teaching him what he knows about the Law of Life,"If any man tells you he knows the whole of the Law of Life or that he can encompass it in words, that man is a fool or a liar, because the Law of Life is written in the universe and no man can know the whole of it. If ever you're in doubt about the Law, consult the caterpillar or the gull or the jackal; no man will even know it better or follow it more steadfastly than they.".
Quinn takes us back to a time when all creatures were equal in wisdom and rights and intertwined with each other for survival. The "fire of life" was passed from one to another in the natural order of life. What man has forgotten over time is that we are only an equal member of that order of life.
"We make our journey in the company of others; the deer, the rabbit, the bison, and the quail walk before us, and the lion, the eagle, the wolf, the vulture, and the hyena walk behind us. All our paths lie together in the hand of god and none is wider than any other or favored above any other. The worm that creeps beneath your foot is making its journey across the hand of god as surely as you are."

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A Not So Peculiar PeopleReview Date: 2006-07-24
This pitch for "Christian friendship" is illustrative of what is wrong with Clapp's account of "a peculiar people" - turns out they aren't so peculiar after all. Clapp has a lot of good things to say about the virtues of community, people bound by a common oral history, committed to a meaningful liturgy, open to the wisdom of outsiders. He warns that the modern practices of "writing and reading are solitary activities that throw the psyche back on itself," and into the pit dug by self-absorbed liberalism. He grasps the importance of shared words and communal worship -"At worship we consecrate our lives: what we worship or ultimately adore is what we live and die for." He calls the church to be a community rooted in its particular place and time. Abstractions and generalities will not do. Nor will accommodation to the principalities and powers that be.
The "Constantinian wedding of church and state" (the fourth century adoption of Christianity as the official religion of the Roman Empire), Clapp asserts, has been a disaster for the church right up through modern times. It has robbed the Church of its culture, and without its culture the Church's relevance and vitality are fatally compromised - Christianity, having lost its political and coercive clout long ago, became an inward, spiritual exercise for individuals, rather than communal practice of a Christ-like way of being. The choices seem to be: 1) accommodate the dominant culture (characteristic of the left) or 2) retrench, i.e., recapture the ability to dictate to others Christian morality (characteristic of the right). Since neither choice is acceptable, Clapp weaves a course between the two, admonishing that "discernment never ends. As situations change, it often evolves in new and unpredicted directions." P. 156.
These are good words, and make this a valuable book (certainly worth reading) but they lead us back to the issue of friendship, and this (again, in an illustrative way) is where Clapp fails us. He leaves us hanging: "we cannot in any event leave or even take a vacation from mass-techno-liberal capitalism [i.e., the dominant culture]. That is a system that, for the foreseeable future at least, we have no choice but to acknowledge." Clapp suggests Christians become "benevolent parasites" of this "mass-techno-liberal capitalism." P. 201. As our thoughtless and brutal global economy (the engine that makes dominant culture possible) wages war on our small and beautiful planet, as it chews up and spits out more and more people, guaranteeing abject poverty for billions of present and future human and animal friends, Christians are not to retrench, they are not to accommodate, they are to become benevolent parasites? The worship of such a lame and helpless people must smell like toxic waste to the Creator of the universe. When the dust has settled, Clapp leaves us with nothing all that radical, nothing that peculiar. Christians will, with any luck at all, continue to eat, drink, dwell, travel, bank, invest, shop . . .i.e. live . . . pretty much as others of comfortable good will -with an offering of benevolent deeds and a host of good friends.
Clarion Call For the American Church...Review Date: 2005-09-27
Clapp's style is candid and written in a lucid manner which will allow the lay reader to understand the theology behind the work wihtout being well versed in historical theology. Ultimately Clapp is not proposing anything new, rather he is pointing the Church back to its starting point. That is, the fact of Jesus' life, death and resurrection as the starting point for any coherent self-understanding. He argues that the Church as God's called out people (like Israel) is the place in which the starting point can be found, affirmed and lived without apology to a culture that has no starting point (e.g. American liberal democracy primed by the Enlightenment).
Pastor's read this book! Members of the body of Christ, read this book, read Acts, then look outside to the perverse and dying culture in which we live and find life as God's polis.
Shabbat Shalom!
A less favorable reviewReview Date: 2005-08-14
Rodney Clapp's book began with great promise. Based on writings by Henri Nouwen, he articulated the angst many Christians feel concerning their place within the modern culture. We want to have an important role in the culture; instead, we find ourselves clamoring for recognition. Rather than being the athletes, we are the sponsors.
With an admission that he is not an expert in one particular field, Clapp promises to summon his strength as part-journalist, part-theologian to lead the church to higher ground. And indeed, higher ground comes into view as the reader marches through the pages: What if the church were truly counter-cultural? What if the church resisted American dreams and myths, and substituted them for a fresh biblical vision? The vision of this higher ground kept me turning the pages at first.
Yet instead of reaching higher ground, I found myself trudging over worn paths that only led in circles. The higher ground remained elusive, and I left this book with frustration.
I think the book suffers from what I call "pompous postmodernism." This seems to be a Christian literary genre in which the author seeks to demonstrate that all Christians until now have been misguided but, alas, now we see clearly through new postmodern lenses. Yet as a student of church history, I take issue with important aspects of Clapp's historical analysis.
In particular, his view of the Reformation is simplistic and, in my opinion, misguided. He worries that the Reformation dismantled the counter-cultural aspects of the church (hierarchy, heightened ethical demands for monks) while not addressing the biblical basis of the Reformers' concerns. Then Clapp posits that the Reformers' view of vocation (all work can be done in a Christian way) was wrongheaded, leading to a Christian sponsorship of the world's culture. However, I would argue instead that the Reformers rightly reminded the world that its culture is actually based upon, and dependent upon, the creation of God and the laws of God. (Clapp admits in a footnote that the Puritans were not so bad. One is left to wonder how these children of the Reformation got so much right when he claims the Reformers got so much wrong.)
Second, for all the talk about moving beyond a watered down "Constantinian" Christianity, which ailed the church from AD 400-1996, I fail to see what Clapp has to offer. When the dust settles, it seems the reader is left with basic principles concerning worship, liturgy, community, etc. While not bad applications necessarily, I am not sure what is new here other than the pride with which the insights are given.
Perhaps part of the problem is that Clapp is overly dependent on the writings of others. He has done some homework, offering hundreds of footnotes. But for lengthy stretches, Clapp basically recycles the work of others (Henri Nouwen, John Yoder, N.T. Wright). Clapp sometimes seems much more like an admiring fan than an original thinker. Which wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the hefty claims about (finally!) getting Christianity right.
In summary, I recommend this book as a springboard for thought concerning the church's role in the world and, in particular, American culture. But you might want to read some others who have written on the topic of church and culture, such as Charles Colson or Edmund Clowney.
Profound book. A must read for every Christian.Review Date: 2002-10-08
ExcellentReview Date: 2004-06-23
Defining the problem is the strong suit of this book; offering an answer is weaker. Clapp makes it clear that there is another road that the church ought to take, and spends a long time trying to lay it out, but in the end I have less than a clear picture of what it ought to be. In his defense, I don't think this is his fault. Ultimately I think that the role the church needs to and decides to play in a post-Christian society is as yet undetermined -- it is something we need to explore, experiment with, and figure out as we go. If Clapp had offered a clear, easy step-by-step guide to how to succeed in the 21st century, I probably would've been dissatisfied with it (my postmodern roots are showing, aren't they?) As it is, I respect him for his analysis of the past, for taking stabs at possible solutions or directions, and for saying a lot of things that need to be said. This is a valuable book and one I highly recommend to church leaders and those interested in the shaping of the church.

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Essential reading for anyone wanting to learn the truth about what happened in Rwanda and why!Review Date: 2006-07-01
Heavy SleddingReview Date: 2006-01-02
There is a certain amount of this that is inevitable -- Mamdani is writing, at least partially, in response to people who have given facile explanations for the genocide (e.g. "the Hutus hated the Tutsis"), and his entirely justified reply is that it's not that simple. Mamdani makes a fascinating and very persuasive case for the exact historical causes of this particular genocide that differentiates it from other genocides of history -- colonialistic influence combining with pan-African political forces that pit nationalistic concerns against ethnic and political ones.
That said, and with full awareness that I don't have the talent to do what I'm asking Mamdani to do, I'd like to say that his argument would have gone over a lot better if he'd been better at phrasing it. His academic language was very difficult to penetrate, even by a well-intentioned postgraduate-educated guy like me. I got to thinking towards the end that he was getting a bonus every time he added "-ize" to a noun to make it a verb.
Mamdani's message that a lot of complicated problems combined to create the genocide -- from which it follows that people peddling simple, easy answers haven't been paying enough attention or are pandering to their audiences -- is important. I hope it is given deep consideration by the grad students who are best equipped with time and incentive to understand his prose, and I hope one of them figures out what I cannot: how to phrase his message in such a way that a lay audience will be willing to hear it.
Reform the state and citizenshipReview Date: 2005-01-14
Reviewed by David S. Fick, Author of Africa: Continent of Economic Opportunities, STE Publishers, Johannesburg SA, May 2005, www.ste.co.za
interesting overview of complex situationReview Date: 2007-02-24
I haven't finished it yet and I do wish it were an easier read...I would give it to people I know who really NEED to read it but who never will. It's just too hard.
When Victims become killersReview Date: 2005-08-09

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A good bookReview Date: 2006-08-01
One day CC's stepmother, Niang tries to strangle her and she bites Niang to free herself. CC is thrown out of her house by her father and she takes refuge at a kung fu academy. There, she meets Grandma Wu and three orphan boys, David, Marat, and Sam. CC decides to stay and live at the academy and learn kung fu.
In a secret alcove above the academy, CC learns that Grandma Wu, David, Marat, and Sam are in a Chinese Resistance group called the Secret Dragon Society. Grandma Wu asks her to join their group and rescue a group of stranded American pilots from a Japanese controlled island. After they rescue the pilots, CC makes a plan to save another group of American pilots and Marat's brother from a Japanese jail called Bridge House.
CC is successful at rescuing them and she saves the pilots from a horrible death. At the end of the book CC realizes how much family means to her and she decides to write a letter to her father asking his forgiveness.
A beautiful storyReview Date: 2005-07-04
This is one of the most moving books I have ever read. I was crying when I got to the bit where she was thrown out of the house.
This is a very wonderfully written novel.
It had funny parts and sad parts. You have taken me into the story and I felt as if I was actully CC.
Thank you for writing this fantastic story.
I hope there will be a sequel to this book.
Val SASReview Date: 2005-11-27
Chinese CinderellaReview Date: 2005-06-17
The future belongs to us!Review Date: 2005-07-10

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"A tip-top yarn"Review Date: 2006-11-28
Having read about twenty of Haggard's novels, I thought this one was unusual in having a bickering couple for the love interest, fairly frequent references to Leonard or Juanna being annoyed, etc. The happy ending is rather muted. Also, while Leonard is basically in the usual Haggard mold of physically strong hero, for quite a lot of the book he is passive, reacting to events. A third difference is that the book is almost free of the spiritualistic musings that one finds in many of Haggard's books. There's virtually no supernatural element here, too.
In the second half, things maybe drag just a leetle, but I have to say that Haggard pays us off well with that amazingly cinematic climax!
Ballantine reprinted a few Haggard novels in the Seventies (two in its Adult Fantasy series -- this one and The World's Desire, which I don't remember very well); it is much better than When the World Shook, which has pages of talk -- which was obviously much easier to write than the narration and description that are lavishly deployed here.
Best of HaggardReview Date: 2001-06-05
An absolute MUST READReview Date: 2003-04-23
Sweeps you away to strange lands, and rivets you there!Review Date: 1999-06-09
STILL ANOTHER WONDERFUL PAGE-TURNER FROM H. RIDER HAGGARDReview Date: 2005-07-12

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One of the worst bible translationReview Date: 2008-09-20
In just The book of Galatians alone :-
It translated paul as saying "i swear" which is contrary to Christ teaching on swearing.
It also translated "physical weakness" as sickness in the same book.
It translated working miracles among you as "miracles in you"
It translated "foolish galatians" as "Stupid galatians" which once again contradicts the teaching of Christ of not to call your brethen fools / stupid
It translated "right hand of fellowship" or "acceptance of co-worker" as "handshake"
And that is just one book!
Better modern translations are ESV and Holsman.
Great translation, easy to readReview Date: 2008-08-30
Bible ClarityReview Date: 2008-08-12
Easily Read, Easily UnderstoodReview Date: 2008-03-09
A great translationReview Date: 2007-11-05
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Take This Book to the Hospital With YouReview Date: 2007-01-04
Excellent resource - well-written and comprehensiveReview Date: 2000-07-07
hospital careReview Date: 2002-09-28
use it as a reference for what you can ask for and not be afraid to ask for
Gook handbook for any medical encounterReview Date: 2004-08-30
Take This Book to the Hospital With You by Charles InlanderReview Date: 2004-06-25
places great value in reviewing hospital bills in detail to detect unnecessary charges and areas where generic drugs could provide cheaper alternatives over the long term. In addition,
the institution you choose should have a good nosomial infection
record . Many patients die from the disease they contract in the
hospital rather than the condition upon entry. Some patients
actually
have family members that get jobs in the hospital to
oversee loved ones and take advantage of benefits and reduced employee
costs. Board certification is another important item for
the treating physicians and surgeons. Perhaps there is no greater
benefit
to the patient than having a comprehensive knowledge
of the condition being treated and the alternative treatment
modalities
whether conventional or alternative medicine.
Wise utilization of the ambulatory care centers and outpatient
clinics
are another important set of options for patients.
Conditions requiring continuous monitoring and post-followup
reviews
are best treated in the outpatient care centers.
This volume is a treasure chest of medicinal information pertinent to
any medical consumer. The work is a good value
at the price charged.

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China & the New World OrderReview Date: 2008-03-06
The impact this has or will create to the rest of the world is huge. With its vast consumption of raw materials e.g. copper, aluminum, cement & oil, other parts of the world would soon start competing for the same raw materials from other nations hence sky rocketing their prices. Just a few years ago, fleets of bicycles were visible in almost every major Chinese city. Now that has become history with many of its residents developing an appetite for automobiles. China therefore has become a marketer's haven for selling automobiles. This is a direct result of its globalization campaign.
This campaign has come with its drawbacks. Environmental degradation has some very concerned. With its massive carbon dioxide and other industrial emissions, China is becoming one of the fastest regions to raise eye brows on issues regarding environmental protection (the US and China will atleast have something in common in that regard). With the economic growth, corruption & cronyism have cropped up. This has also lead to tension between China and the USA especially regarding the large China/USA trade deficit gap.
China is also holding a large cache of dollar reserves which it then uses to purchase US T-Bills and other investment in the US . The US in some ways has come to rely on foreign investment for its own economic growth. Just today ( 3/5/08 ), Federal regulators said that the country needs to open its gates to foreign sovereign wealth funds. They went ahead to state that these funds foster domestic growth and provide financial stability to US financial markets and US companies.
China is also flexing its muscles to other areas like Australia and Africa . Africa has been important to China because of its vast resources of raw material e.g. copper, aluminum, uranium & oil. In the next few years, this economic sleeping giant will be a great economic super-power to recon with.
Hezron Karanja, Los Angeles, CA
Insightful and IntelligentReview Date: 2006-12-10
The most important book I read in the last 5 yearsReview Date: 2006-12-25
Is a new world order in the making?...It might just happen.Review Date: 2006-12-14
There's a huge amount of info on foreign businesses inside China. You will be able to see about twenty five American and global multinationals inside of China that are studied. In the meantime it gives us a very provocative analysis on China's new role in the world. Gu details this general picture of how China is walking away from a practical society and embracing an open, restless and dynamic society. It claims that an overextended, self-appointed bureaucracy remains the key problem for China. To overcome countless technical barriers, greater openness, entrepreneurship and global involvement is all needed. Again, it's very insightful on the issues between China, Taiwan, Japan, India and West. I will add that his analyses on Japan-China line up are very interesting as well as Taiwan. There' a tremendous amount of info and analysis on China's financial, banking, insurance and stock market.
Author George Zhibin Gu is a very outspoken and a well known Chinese journalist who has generally covered mergers and acquisitions, capital activities, business expansion, and restructuring. He's an insider who gives us scrupulous examination on current China and global affairs which is more than a reason why you should grab hold to this book.
Cooking With the Iron Rice BowlReview Date: 2007-03-27
Picking up on a focus of his previous book "China's Global Reach...," Gu goes further and identifies the chief impediment to China's latest and perhaps most difficult transition as the Chinese state itself. Gu reveals the seemingly historical inevitability of China's vast government apparatus but explains that Communist Party bureaucracy is unique in Chinese experience in the size and scope of its all-encompassing control.
In topics relative to today's readers Gu ably demonstrates through the book that changes in China come from the revived entrepreneurial instinct of the Chinese. Along with huge foreign investment China's ever-growing private sector is the outside influence that is challenging Chinese bureaucracy as never before. But while the Chinese people struggle to create a law-based society and break the bureaucracy's grip on all aspects of economic life, the Chinese state seeks an equal footing among world national powers.
"China and the New World Order" is nicely segmented into short but highly relevant chapters. As in his earlier works Gu deftly examines the pros and cons of numerous hot-button issues on China. For example he takes on the Taiwan - China knot and proposes an interesting solution, a federation or federal system as a means toward meaningful (and mutually beneficial) reunification although his federal system shares more similarity to a commonwealth in the opinion of this reviewer. Gu's look at delicate state of Japan and China relations reveals that Japan remains as apprehensive over Chinese growth and potential as it was in the past. In examining the India versus China debate Gu shows that there is far less competition (as Western press prefers to portray it) and more similarities between the two giants of Asia.
There is plenty of current information here and the detailed contents and summaries make the book a good quick reference for anyone with an interest in what's happening right now in China. And there are goodies such as a lengthy interview with Mark Mobius and a foreword by Hoover Institute fellow William Ratliff.
At one point in his analysis, Gu intriguingly compares the struggle in China to the old European church-state alliance. With that view in mind, what may be needed next and with luck what Chinese entrepreneurs may succeed in bringing is a Chinese "Glorious Revolution."
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Jankowski is a book whose title caught my attention . . . when
I then saw the subtitle--HOW TO BEAT THEM WITHOUT JOINING
THEM--I was hooked with the awareness that this something
that I had to read, because I often find myself having to deal
with folks that might well be considered "difficult" only because
I'm trying to be generous here.
The authors, founders of the Shapiro Negotiations Institute,
bring in many examples that can be applied to life, home
and work situations . . . what's best is that these are
real, coming from such diverse fields as sports, politics,
dining out, and personal relationships, to name just a few.
As I was reading, I kept thinking how Shaprio and
Jankowski made difficult situations seem as if they
could all be handled, such as this one example
involving Phil Jackson when he was coaching the
Chicago Bulls:
He recounted in INC. magazine how his players learned that the best
way to overcome someone who is attacking you, emotionally or
otherwise, is to replace the impulse to strike back with the impulse
to become more focused on the game. Jackson recounted that
when the Bulls played the Detroit Pistons in the late 1980s,
Detroit would win because the Pistons were able to incite the Bulls
into fighting back. It was not until the Bulls learned to control
their "strike-back" impulse that they were able to overcome the
Pistons. As Jackson recalled, "Everybody on our team was
slammed around. . . . Players were tackled, tripped, elbowed,
and smacked in the face. But they all laughed it off. The Pistons
didn't know how to respond. We completely disarmed them by not
striking back. At that moment, our players became true champions."
I gained another valuable tidbit of information when I read about how
Shapiro and Jankowski talked about "writing their press release" . . . they
said:
It can be challenging for most of us to come up with solutions
that allow the other side to save face. Because it's hard to step
outside of ourselves and think like the other side. (Hey, they are
the other side. How could they be right?) One technique we
have used to bridge the gap to their foreign territory is the
exercise of "writing the other side's press release." In other words,
as you come up with options they may find attractive, give
yourself the hypothetical assignment of crafting a statement to
the press that explains why the resolution is a "win" for the other
person, as if you are the other person. Forcing yourself to go
through this exercise will ensure that you frame proposals or
options from a point of view that demonstrates benefit to the
other side. It is rare that you will ever be in a situation in which
you are writing a real (not just hypothetical) press release. But
once it did happen to Ron. He did actually write the press release
to announce the other side's "victory" (which, in reality, he had
shaped and defined on behalf of his client). It's a story that
graphically demonstrates why options work and how to employ
them to get out of a maze filled with apparent impasses.
Lastly, I liked the fact that humor was also used throughout
the book, such as in this retelling of a famous anecdote about
executives who worked for the infamous banking baron J. P. Morgan:
Morgan was tyrannical. He demanded endless, thankless work from
his cadre of distinguished, educated, highly skilled business
managers. He was notorious for never complimenting, but always
disparaging their efforts, privately and publicly. But he paid
them huge sums of money. When asked why these men
continued to work for the abusive Morgan, one replied,
"He's got us by our limousines."
I don't know if I'll go quite that far in working with others. . . however,
as a result of reading BULLIES, TYRANTS & IMPOSSIBLE PEOPLE,
I will now go out of my way to recommend it to others--particularly
if they deal with such folks on any sort of regular basis.