Personal Development Books

The book Smarts is an exceptional read for anyone interested in the consumer buying process. The book introduces the 12 Executive Skills and explains how they are "hardwired", the strengths and weaknesses, how to identify and use them efficently in the work place. This book would be an excellent training tool for the sales industry as it would enable the associate to correctly identify an individual based on their Executive Skills and then be able to interact appropriately. Ultimately, the correct identification of these skills in consumers could lead to an increase in the organization's sales by allocating time to "needy" consumers.
It is amazing how much this information has helped in the marketing field in aiding to identifying and understanding the consumer which in the end is basically crucial. The informatoin learned through this book will help me as I continue my life in the marketing profession by assesing and understanding the consumers I am marketing to.

I realy enjoyed reading this book because it taught me a lot about myself. After reading about the 12 executive skills, I was able to see which skills I was highest in and learned how to manage the skills I was lowest in. The book was clear and to the point. An easy read, but VERY informative.

Smarts also helped me to better understand my friends and family. I was able to recognize their strengths and weaknesses. I recommend this book to all.

SMARTS is an excellent read in relation to business management and also how it plays in ones everyday life. Not only does Chuck Martin provide a great tool to look into your own Executive Skills weaknesses and strengths, but also to understand the skills in those around you.
This book explains some of your interesting character flaws and how to make them work in your favor. If you can learn to manage your weaknesses and play to your strengths you can really learn to reach a new level of potential.
This book could also be a helpful for managers to understand how to make their peers more efficient in their jobs by managing their Executive Skills strengths and weaknesses. I personally found the chapter on matching your Executive Skills to the best job fit very intriguing and helpful.
I would suggest SMARTS to anyone interested in furthering their personal success.

Smarts is an incredible read. With each chapter comes even more information that answers so many questions about why people behave the way they do. Smarts is easy to read and to understand. It provides great insight into really knowing who around you would be the most punctual, or the most organized, or who's bound to act on an impulse, and so on. Whether you are a top executive or a struggling student, this book will help you understand so much as to why the people around you act the way they do.

SMARTS is an insightful look at how our workplace strengths and weaknesses are not taught, but rather predetermined. With the help of psychologists Peg Dawson and Richard Guare, business guru Chuck Martin takes a unique approach at explaining how the frontal lobe of our brains work.

Why can you never keep your workplace clean? Why does it take so long for your co-worker to finish his modification report? Why can your boss never fit time in his schedule to take you golfing?

These aren't flaws, but rather weaknesses in one's "12 Executive Skills," which are: Self Restraint, Working Memory, Emotion Control, Focus, Task Initiation, Planning/Prioritization, Organization, Time Management, Defining and Achieving Goals, Flexibility, Observation, and Stress Tolerance.

Each of these skills are have been right under our noses for so many years and Martin finally identifies them in this carefully written business-best seller. Applicable to real-world experiences, SMARTS is a must-read for anyone interested in business-psychology.

The authors are very specific in their advice on getting what you want in life, and their wisdom truly works. I have found that out by experience in using it to advance in my career. This is one of those books you can have complete confidence in: Not a bit of it is commercial psycho babble---this stuff is practical "take it to the bank" mentoring. One of the other customer reviewers called this a must-have book, and he is right. Don't miss out on this piece of gold.

The Aladdin Factor is a must have for anyone who has been unable to attain everything in which they desire. The book is analogous with the journey of Aladdin, his encounter with the genie and how Aladdin discovers what he really wants out of life. Jack Canfield does a great job of using real life cases to exemplify the Aladdin Factor. If you don't already know what is, you are missing out.

Good read and a lot of wonderful stories and helpful hints to boot. Worth the purchase. I highly recommend this book for anyone looking to find their way to see all their dreams and desires come true.

Far too many people wander through life unfulfilled because they lack the skill set needed to experience life to its most bountiful. That's in part due to a fear of asking for that which brings us what we need, want or desire.

People are afraid. Afraid of rejection, afraid of looking foolish, and a whole host of other things. Be afraid no longer. The Aladdin Factor will teach you how to ask without fear.

Canfield's book taught me how to ask in a powerful, confident way that would guarantee my success. Simple phrasing combined with subtle reflection made for a life transforming read.

At Pug Headquarters, it's a must read.

Diana Taylor
Top Dog
Pug At The Beach

Sometimes all you need in life is the wisdom of a good dog.TM

Pug at the Beach: An Island Dog's Reflections on Life

Many years ago I read a book that changed my life. The beauty about books is they are truly timeless. Recently I revisited this book because the continued buzz about "The Secret" made me think of it.

The Aladdin Factor is a simple fast-track to getting what you want. Originally released in 1995 (around the time Chicken Soup for The Soul series was really taking off), this book changed the way I approached business and personal interactions.

I believe that one of the greatest lessons you will ever learn is included in this book. The art of asking for what you really want.

Canfield and Hansen explore five barriers to asking for what we want:

(1) The first is ignorance. Often, we simply don't know what to ask for. This occurs for many reasons including lack of exposure, not knowing the resources available and not fully understanding our personal desires and yearnings.

2) Second, limiting and inaccurate beliefs keep us stuck in what we know to be true from past experiences. This includes programming from parents, teachers, churches, peers and the media.

3) Fear is the third barrier (and one I believe we can all relate to). It is fear, usually based on past disappointments and experiences, that hold many of us back from asking for what we truly desire. The fear of rejection is particularly debilitating. Fear of looking silly, being humiliated, feeling powerless, punishment, obligation and abandonment are all key players in keeping us stuck.

4) Fourth is low self-esteem. Often we can feel unworthy of love, happiness and our true desires. This is because of inferiority complexes and false beliefs that our needs and wants are worthy of pursuit.

5) Pride is the final barrier and, according to the authors, is especially difficult for men. Although I see this trait in many of my women friends. We tend to remain guarded and not admit that we need help and support. Asking for this sometimes makes us feel inadequate.

The key to getting what you want is simple. Recognize and correct the barriers that apply to you. Become comfortable with who you are and what you really want and need (this may take some time).

Finally, ask for what you want in a way that is mutually beneficial for all involved. The key point I took away from this book (and continue to hold near and dear) is having the courage to simply ask.

Look at it this way. If you really, truly want something, the only way to get it is to take actionable steps, including asking. If you ask for something you want the worse thing that can happen is someone saying "no". Although this may seem devastating, in reality, you are left with nothing less than before you asked. And, if the answer happens to be yes, you have moved so much closer to your end goal.

So, go ahead, ask for what you want. The results may surprise you.

The bucket filling book has been a great tool in my classroom. It has such a sweet premise, and helps the children learn empathy.

I was sucked into the whole bucket thing because the corresponding program is what my elementary school is doing this year. We have the posters throughout the school, the assemblies, and the books.

Sure, the cynical part of me was perfectly willing to mock this (and yes, we did have a little "don't shoot holes in Mike's bucket!" banter during faculty meeting).

But, when it gets down to it, this simple little book packs a message that every kid needs to know. Because, despite what we think, too many kids need lessons in how to be kind.

The book is not preachy or moralizing. It is what it is, a quick explanation on what happens if we fill or dip someone's bucket.

As parents, we have all read and told hundreds of wonderful stories filled with important messages for our children. This book translates the most simple lesson of all, "do onto others, as you would want done to you". Treat people with love and respect, and you will in turn be treated with love and respect. The simple analogy of filling the bucket is easy enough for adults to understand. Every household, school, doctor's office and church should have a copy of this book on their bookshelf. Thank you Carol for your wonderful inspiration!

Have you filled a bucket today is a wonderful book about being kind to others! Filling someone's bucket or bucket dipping is such an easy concept for children to understand. It has helped make my children aware of other people's feelings. I highly recommend Have you filled a bucket today! And I have heard fabulous things about "the bucket lady!"

This book is fantastic. I am an elementary school counselor and it was a big hit when I read it with the Kindergarteners and 1st graders at my school. After a month they are still talking about filling peoples buckets. The story and illustrations are very well done and it's easy for kids to understand. I highly recomend this book to any parent or educator. It's even a good read for adults!

This is a nice piece of work. The book does spend far more time than I wanted justifying the multitude-of-interests person. But it was quick reading at the beginning so not much of a burden.

There are some exceptional insights here, and some wonderful tactics for dealing with your range of interests.

The introductory exercises (Five from Fifty = prioritizing, Many Circles = weighting, Birthday Party = accomplishments) can help clarify things for those caught in the mire of doing. Clarifying your interest, no matter how many there are, is an important aspect of this work.

I particularly like the idea of Focal Points - temporary assignments you give yourself in order to have the freedom to learn or accomplish.

Reverse flowcharts are great in that they force you to see what you are doing that gets in your way. Basically think of how you can ensure something will not happen - there you go, many times that's what you're doing.

I think the concept of Four Frames - which is applied to volunteering - can be used in a far greater sense as well. Not simply limited to convincing a potential volunteering opportunity, but if you look at your larger goals, and your place in your journey - this approach can be used to convince your spiritual self what it is you want to contribute, and why that would be a good thing for all.

The crux of the entire message of the book is "I'd love to help you feel fulfilled rather than overwhelmed."

The author states "Renaissance Souls work best when we can match our activities to our energy flow." I think this is true for everyone, but it isn't something we value in the US all that much (instead we're told to bang our heads for 14 hours and meet that deadline, many times producing a lower quality result). So, without having a specific prescription for each moment of your day, the approach here allows you flexiblity in choice based on your motivations at that time. Yes, balanced planning - I've been waiting for someone else to say it.

My favorite story in the entire book is the one on Mozart, and his pursuing his purpose, becoming what he could be in the midst of all else going on. The author weaves an intricate connection about how this benefited so many others than if he were to try and be something he were not. Very nice... "One of the best things you can do for other Renaissance Souls is to keep growing." And I would add, the best thing we can do for all beings.

Toward the end of the book I felt the work there was less inspired. It focused on examples, whereas I think a book works much better if at the end it brings us back up to that higher-purpose and leaves us with lofty placement. We end on a real high then.

I thought this was a really great book. It was very encouraging. I usually thought of myself as scattered and thought each unfinished project was just another failure. I always have too many interests and too many projects, and reading this book gave me great ideas about how to organize my priorities and interests effectively. If nothing else, it helped me feel better about my varied interests. I no longer think of myself as just a flake with too many unfinished projects.

It was the subtitle that drew me in...urged me to pick up the book... begged me to take more than a glance at it. Life Design for People with Too Many Passions to Pick Just One. Hmmmm, someone must be writing about ME! I discovered this book while browsing at the local library on a day that had me grappling with a way to explain to my husband that which is almost inexplainable to me: I have so many creative interests, and I am so passionate about them, that I allow them to absorb me (his words, not mine). I don't know why that is. I don't know how that is. I don't know when that started. And I don't know how to change that, or if I even want to change that. Why should I have to? To a person who isn't so inclined, I guess it seems more than a little odd that I can't "pick one thing and be the best at it."

And so it was that Lobenstine happened into my life with important information and answers to unspoken questions at just the right time. As she so wisely points out, our society tends to foster the idea of becoming an expert in one area and sticking to it. Society tends to look negatively on the concept of the "Jack of all trades and master of none" life. But Lobenstine contends that line of thinking is exactly the reason it is hard to undertand some creative souls and their passions for so many different avenues.

In an easily readable, most enjoyable format, Lobenstine offers hope to the creative souls who hope to be able to "have it all." She contends that it is possible to incorporate those passions and a paying job and be happy. Simple quizzes allow readers to identify what their individual values are and where those values can lead. Case studies of actual creatives offer guideposts and encouragement to those of us who struggle with the expectations of others vs the expectations we hold for ourselves.

The Renaissance Soul is divided into four very interesting, practical and engaging sections. Part I, Claiming Your Renaissance Soul, provides readers with characteristics of the renaissance soul personality: defining success by mastered challenges rather than how far up the ladder a person has climbed, casting aside single-minded focus in favor of variety. Lobenstine also includes a section that dispells myths about what a creative soul is and is not... Renaissance souls are not superior to others, nor do they fall into that diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder personalities. While some may be, not all renaissance souls are geniuses. They do not use their many and varied interests to avoid the realities of life, and they are NOT job-hoppers!

To substantiate her theories, Lobenstine offers examples of well-known individuals who fit her definitions for a renaissance soul--Ben Franklin, Leonardo da Vinci, Sir Thomas More and Maya Angelou, to name a few.

Part II, Thriving on Many Interests Without Feeling Scattered, was perhaps one of the most valuable sections for me personally. Digging into the heart of what drives creatives, Lobenstine challenges us to take a good hard look at ourselves and to clearly identify our personal value systems. She offers several revealing quizzes for her readers, including choosing five out of a list of fifty values and identifying the five values that are most important at the particular moment, or writing not the well-known self obituary but writing toasts to one's self by four individuals who know the creative person best. Scrutinizing personal values even more closely, Lobenstine asks her readers to consider how their own life meshes (or not) with the lives of those other individuals who are part of the creative's inner circle. She stresses the importance of identifying whether an individual's activities are reflecting personal values or the values of others. She offers practical ways to not only evaluate this but to move closer to a place where personal values take precedence over the values of others.

Part III, Practical Realities: Career Design for Pursuing You Passions, is the nitty-gritty for those creatives who want to give up their day jobs but just can't. The author points out that, while it is not always possible to give up the day job, it sometimes is easier than one may think to secure a day job that will help the creative soul move closer to realizing their passions and dreams. How would you like to get "paid for your passion?" How would you like to be able to focus on your passions, sell yourself, find non-traditional ways to indulge your creative side without compromising self? All of these areas are presented in a revealing way that caused this reader to experience several ah-ha moments along the way.

Part IV, Successful Life Design for Renaissance Souls, takes the creative spirit one step closer to realizing goals and dreams by helping readers make a commitment. Lobenstine offers a unique and comfortable way to put desires into action--the PRISM test. As she explains, "The PRISM test puts your current set of Focal Points through a rigorous evaluation. Just as light bursts into color as it passes through a prism, this test allows you to examine your Focal Points from new angles, therby clarifying and confirming your eventual selections." PRISM is an anacronym for Price (How much will it cost you to get to your Focal Point?), Reality (What will the day-to-day, nitty-gritty of engaging in this Focal Point really involve?), Integrity (Why does this particular Focal Point seem particularly worthwhile to you?), Specificity (When you are specific about constitutes success, you can articulate your desires to yourself and others), and Measurability (Setting specific dates for attainment of your goals allows you to map out a plan and take specific steps toward passionate productivity).

Margaret Lobenstine is the perfect person to walk creative Renaissance Souls through the process because she, too, is a Renaissance Soul. Not only is she a motivational speaker, writer and life-coach, she has been a successful bed-and-breakfast owner, a family business consultant, and a literary specialist. She encourages renaissance souls to be role models to others. To learn more about the author and her work, visit her website.

by Lee Ambrose
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women

I could not be happier that I ordered this book! I'm 26 years old, and so far the only thing I've partially identified with is the "Twenty-Something" feeling, kind of lost, but full of potential. When I got this book, I read the first hundred or so pages right away, I was just hooked immediately. I really loved the tests and used them and now I do feel much more clear about my (current) focus. I'm definitely a Renaissance Soul (18 out of 20 on the Quiz in the book). I have done everything from Retail to Real Estate to Banking to Social Work to starting businesses, etc. I just got married, so that took up a lot of time and energy for a while, but now I have new goals and clarity. I really loved her example of the ice cream shop, likening the choice of ice cream, etc. to the choices of things we're interested in. She says it would be just as hard and paralyzing to try and choose one for the rest of your life as it would be to try and choose them all, that's why you need a "sampler", which is free to change, but that will give you focus. So, my current sampler is: Studying for and taking the GRE and applying to Grad School, writing a business plan for the business I want to start, spending time with my new husband, learning how to make soup (I just want to learn how to make soup!), and making healthier choices regarding food and activity. So, Thank You, Margaret! I think you are right on with your idea of a Renaissance Soul, and I'm so happy you wrote this book. It was my pleasure to read it! =)

I consider myself the very model of a Renaissance Soul: I love to read about lots of subjects; I used to garden quite fanatically; I'm in a knitting/crocheting phase right now; music is a big part of my life; and I've been doing agility and other training with our dog. Oh, and I have a day job, too! My answer to "what do you want to be when you grow up" changed so often when I was younger that it made my head spin! So I was hoping this book would help me sort out how to feel fulfilled and yet not too diluted pursuing my many interests.

And indeed it did. Here are just a few helpful tidbits I took from the book: You do have to choose a few interests at any given time, based on the things you value most, but those choices don't have to be forever. You should quit doing things that don't fit with the values you hold most dear. You can combine interests (for example, I like to write and cook -- maybe I should write about food?). You need to block time for your interests, but not be inflexible about which interest you pursue at a given time. There are lots of creative ways to get where you want to go, even if you pursue many different careers over time, without starting at Square One each time.

And so much of what the author said validated the way I approach life, even toward the end helping me understand why I sometimes feel unmotivated to do anything at all.

My only complaint is that the book starts to sound branded or jargony, with its Renaissance Soul Way and Focus Points Notebook -- kind of like the Chicken Soup series or the Finish Rich series. This Renaissance Soul finds that stuff kind of annoying. But the content was so rich and sensible that the annoyance was minor. This book has really gotten me thinking about what I need to do to more fully enjoy my many interests.

T. R. Pearson is probably my favorite author -- I look forward to reading his books and stop by amazon on a regular basis to check for his new works. Augie's Quest was a most interesting read for me for two reasons -- Pearson was the author, and I have been personally touched by ALS (my father and one of my brothers died from the disease). The story of Augie, his journey with ALS, his drive and determination to work towards a cure, to pursue new paths in search of a cure -- is most captivating -- and knowing T. R. put the words to paper assured me that many people would find this book and come away being touched by Augie's story -- for the story itself and for the superb writing. When you finish this book, think about a donation to Augie's foundation, and then come back to amazon and search out Mr. Pearson's other writings -- mostly fiction -- you will be glad you did.

Augie: Thanks for sharing your world past and present! Your book gave me a terrific insight into ALS and your fight for life and significance. You are an inspiration to us all and I came away with a better appreciation for my own life and what is important!

Thanks

Kim Megonigal

I was a little disappointed in Augie's Quest. I saw Shirley McClaine on a talk show and she was so hyped up about the book and about how Augie was so instrumental and amazing in his quest. True, Lou Gehrig's disease (ALS) is a horrible and quickly invasive disease, but I was more interested in how Augie dealt with his disease than with the tremendous amount of research and technical aspects of ALS that are given in the book. I was looking for a more personal insight into Augie and his wife, Lynne, in their daily dealings with this disease. However,if you know someone with ALS, you will find this book very informative.

"Perhaps no other disease takes the physical and emotional toll quite like ALS, and I can think of no one who understands this more fully than fitness pioneer Augie Neito. Augie's Quest speaks to us all about life, how we choose to live it, and what can happen -- physically and emotionally -- when the unexpected hits us in the face. But Augie's story is about more than how one man chooses to face adversity, it's a playbook for how to live life on your own terms. Anyone who reads Augie's Quest comes away enriched by the experience."

Dr. Jeffrey Trent
President and Scientific Director, TGen

This is a different read compared with Tuesdays with Morrie. It contains a wonderful mix of narrative and personal testimony. While it tells the story of Augie's life, it is much more focused on what Augie has chosen to do with his life: find a treatment for ALS, and, cut through some of the academic/scientific red-tape that slows the process. As I was reading I kept thinking of a friend in Idaho who said, "I would never trade what I have learned from this disease for anything in the world!" I was especially struck by the quote: "Life is not measured by how many breaths we take, but by how many moments take our breath away." Thanks, Augie! Well done!
John Free, Ph.D. (Psychologist)

Excellent exercises to re-think one's current life and work situation. Carried through, these lessons can have a profound impact on those struggling with serenity and purpose.

For all of those people who bought Eat Pray and Love with the notion that it would change their lives, buy this book! Srikumar Rao's gentle introductions and guided exercises allow you to contemplate what you want to change in your life and actually work at doing it. I was amazed at the changes I noticed in my thinking and my life in the space of a few months. Do not rush through this book. Let it guide you to finding the real you.

Before enlightenment, chop wood carry water.
After enlightenment, chop wood carry water.*

I read the book's title as meaning "You're successful, are you ready for that?" rather than "Do you want to succeed?" emphasizing the word "ready". And just as reaching enlightenment does not obviate the need to perform the more mundane chores of life, being ready to succeed does not obviate earning a living or making friends. You can do both but if you're not ready to see your success, you won't realize that you are successful and you won't be as happy as you could be.

Rao only indirectly writes about increasing the material and social markers of success, i.e. how wealthy you are or how many friends you have. He stresses that we need to give less importance to these markers and to appreciate what we already have. (And when adversity strikes, we should appreciate that it wasn't worse.) Success breeds success but only if you nurture it properly and that's what he writes about.

Rao's techniques are simple and effective. He first gives examples of what he calls mental models, or predetermined thinking patterns. For example when you are preparing for meetings you always assume that people will argue with you, this predetermined pattern in which you think is a negative mental model. Rao wants us to become conscious of our mental models, especially the negative ones. Next he wants us to detach ourselves from them. He has us create an imaginary friend, who's actually not a friend but an unbiased observer. We're to imagine this friend to describe what we're saying or thinking.

Rao offers many more exercises, with the later exercises building on the earlier ones. The best thing about "Are you Ready to Succeed?" is that the exercises are practical and not too New Age-ish.

Vincent Poirier, Dublin
*Thanks to Eric for the "Buddhist saying". VP

I have read many self-help books - so far this is the best and most far-reaching and comprehensive. Like Dr Rao mentioned the book is based on Eastern philosophies, mainly the three monotheistic religions, Judaism, Christianity and Islam. Dr. Rao had made it available to the world resident of the 21st century. I wished the adherent of these religions will take heed of how they have to come back to the true teachings of their religion. Majority have stray way far from the true teachings and that is why we have all these problems in the world right now. There are so much to learn and to master in this book and it is amazing how Dr Rao had made it so relevant and inspiring. Each time I read portion of the book I left with serenity and peace. I have not even buy the book yet I just borrow it from the public library but surely I will get one for myself. This will be one book that will never want to depart from together with Pulling Your Own String - Dyer. It has truly help me be better and stronger.

This is one of my top rated books I ever read. I can see this is going to help a lot for my future in all aspects. Exercises are amazing.

Thanks
Ajith

Thank You Fergal, for a "steady pen" in writing "Microsoft .NET for Programmers". The use of a FUN case study (Poker client-server) to synergize understanding of .NET principles in a "real-life" application is a boon to communicating such a vast subject.

Though this book seems geared to other than beginners (in both C# and .NET), starting at page 1, reading and doing the examples, and maintaining a steady course until the last page, is sure to "enlighten" the .NET inquiring mind. A more global perspective and understanding of this large subject is pretty much guaranteed.

One foot in front of the other, put yourself through the paces: Buy the book, download the files, read the prolific and responsive author participation list on Manning, read and practice from cover to cover. Your programming skills in .NET will be enhanced enjoyably for all future .NET ventures. As a bonus, you'll go to sleep at night without that large and uneasy .NET question mark look on your face.

Cover all the what and how-to about .NET in a simple and clear way. Can't believe the author does that so nicely in 300 pages. Great for experience programmer get started with .NET

Ok, this book means business. 2 chapters intro about .NET then right into the code. The problem is that IF you don't have a background in C, C++ or C# you are hosed. I had my geeky .NET Microsoft head brother help me with it. Otherwise, excellent book. For 4GL, COBOL and VB programmers like me not familiar with any of the C flavors, I recommend Microsoft Visual C# .Net step-by-step from Microsoft Press written John Sharp and Jon Jagger.

This is one of the best technical books I have read. It takes a very large subject and distills it down to a concise and manageable text.
Each chapter takes you further into .Net in a fast paced yet very well-explained way. The poker game developed in the book is also fun to play with and enhance.
This is a must-read text. However, read an introductory book first.

I've been through many of the C# books, some from Microsoft Press, and some from O'Reilly, and on and on.
For beginners there is no clear winner. However, for experienced programmers looking to expand their knowledge into many of the more advanced areas of C#, I recommended Grimes book, Microsoft .NET for Programmers.

It's for intermediate to advanced, and it's quite a bit of fun working through the example that builds and builds upon an engine, adding many interfaces, where each interface exploits a particular area of .Net. Plus he throws in his years of programming expertise to add in lots of programming tricks that also highlight .Net's flexibility and ease of programming.

Do svidanija - moi tovarischi!

Every parent should read this! Even though a lot of it is basic info, it is really thought provoking!

Pam Leo has touched on a subject that is most important this day and age- connection. As you rewind, repair and replay your communication with your child, you are taking the steps to a better connection now and for the future. Pam's extensive research, presented in this book, gives you great idea's, activities and pertinent facts in working through any situation that may arise between you and your child. Connection Parenting is also a great tool in dealing with discipline in your home. Becoming aware of you and your child's communication styles and rethinking your approach can reconnect and build self esteem and worth. I wish I would have had this book when my kids were younger!!

Connection Parenting is one of those books that needs to be on every bookshelf, whether one is a parent or not. As a culture we are often so disassociated with the experiences of children that we are unaware of how we treat them or how this impacts our relationships with them and the people that they become. Are we forgetting that today's children will be the ones we will look to for compassion as we age?

I am such a believer of Pam Leo's work that I facilitate workshops in New York City based on Connection Parenting. It is so fulfilling to see parent's and educator's "light bulbs go on" when they get it.

As some reviewers have mentioned it can be challenging to question ourselves as well as how we were parented. It certainly is.
Anyone who reads this book will not stand for the alternative.

When I had my first child 5 years ago I began amassing quite a library of Parenting books. I have to admit that being a committed attachment parent I was alittle skeptical as to whether or not this book could add to my knowledge. I can't speak more highly of a parenting book. It really explains child behavior and needs in a way that gave me SO many Aha's. She strikes a wonderful balance between parent's needs and children's needs while at the same time being very straight forward about what so many kids aren't getting emotionally in today's world. I'm anxious to find a support group locally that espouses her ideas. In the meantime I've once again shifted my parenting methods and I'm trying to give my child more of what she really needs - Connection!

This is a book for people who want to feel this type of parenting. Those who want to think through it will be very disappointed.

_Connection Parenting_ is targeted at parents or parents-to-be who have emotional baggage from their own childhood. It is a rather short book and thus much of the space that I would have preferred it spend on specific, concrete advice on working with one's children was instead dedicated to helping parents get beyond their hang-ups. This can be frustrating if you do not have that many hang-ups.

In addition, there are a number of assumptions made about this type of parenting, which are not backed up by hard evidence. The examples of respectful, loving dialogue are good, but too few, and there are precious few examples of working with children who are feeling combative, or who are already angry, for whatever reason.

I was raised in a gentle household and I believe in gentle, connecting, attachment-fostering parenting. But I felt like I should be going through it in a cold public-space basement with seven other adults in a meeting on folding chairs, and there is a man across from me crying or something, and the rest of us are stuck praying that the facilitator does not try to initiate a group hug.

It is more a self-help book than a parenting book. I am glad that I got _Adventures in Gentle Discipline_ at the same time, because this one was not very helpful for me.

I listened to the book on CD and enjoyed it very much. Not too long and very easy to understand. Many real life examples helped with the understanding of this book. I sometimes was repetitive, but did not go overboard. The big picture of "It all goes back in the box" is plain and simple, but it is a must read/listen. It will put your life and the issues you have back in perspective. I think we all need that once in a while.

I have recommended this book to everyone I know!!! I am listening to it again! Even my 15 year old son listened to it and enjoyed it.

I am so thankful for this book. It puts in perspective what is eternal and what is temporal. I bought the audio and started last year to listen to it but because the topic was about the final goodbye, death, I freaked out and put it away. Just a few weeks ago I decided to hear the whole book. It spoke! and Spoke to me and reminded me again that people was more important than material things, jobs, ministry activities and etc. I am listening to it again to keep my focus on eternal things.

When the Game Is Over It All Goes Back in the Box is a book on life by John Ortberg, a Presbyterian pastor. His argument is thus: you will die, and when you do, you will lose all the stuff you have. Therefore, instead of focusing on things you cannot keep, focus on things you can.

Ortberg says that the object of life is, as Jesus said, to be rich toward God. Pleasing God is part of this; part of it is putting a greater priority on personal relationships. This also turns out to be the place where we find true fulfillment. Ortberg's main target is those who say they will work less and spend more time with their families "when things settle down." His message is this: things never settle down until it's too late.

The book is written with an amusing game theme. Ortberg borrows a lot of anecdotes from a lot of different authors, which is fine. He gives credit where credit is due. Ortberg has a surprisingly good sense of humor. Sometimes his jokes are pretty corny, but on the whole he seems like a funny guy. My only criticism of his writing is a small one: several chapters tend to run a little long (the reader has gotten the point and is ready to move on).

There is criticism due the publisher: on nearly every other page, there are excerpts from the text blown up in boxes on the same page. Perhaps this is done for those flipping through the book in a shop, or for those who skim, but for the actual reader, it is incredibly annoying and distracting.

On the whole, When the Game Is Over It All Goes Back in the Box is an accessible, engaging, humorous book on Christian living and eternity. This is obviously a Christian book, but the theologizing does not get heavy-handed, and Ortberg does not beat the reader over the head with the Bible. It can benefit any Christian as well as some who are feeling unfulfilled.

RECOMMENDED

John Ortberg, a well-known California pastor and bestselling author (THE LIFE YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED), knows how to captivate a reading audience, and he does it, page after page, in WHEN THE GAME IS OVER, IT ALL GOES BACK IN THE BOX. Using playing games as a metaphor for life, Ortberg shows how the object of the game is a life "rich toward God" --- growing a healthy soul, enjoying the people around you, doing good work, becoming generous and savoring the moment.

Wise people, writes Ortberg, build their lives around what is eternal. He suggests asking yourself the question, "What in your life is going to last forever, and what is going back in the box?" Spend your time caring for the inner you as well as the outer you. Think about the changes you need to make. Let go of wrong priorities. Quit trying to control that which is out of our control, rather than letting the "Master of the Board" take the helm.

What makes this book so brilliant is not that Ortberg offers a lot of new information. It's that he has a flair for synthesizing this information and organizing his ideas in a way that makes them practical as well as soul-stirring. It's also a joy to read.

Gently, in one section, he calls readers to reassess a preoccupation with "stuff" and concentrate on what is most important. A "richness of being" is always available, Ortberg says. "I can seek at any time, with God's help, to be compassionate, generous, grateful, and joyful...usually it will not mean seeking to accumulate more stuff." As he shows through a moving story about Larry, a church member who is killed in an accident, in the end it's not about our achievements or our wealth. It's about our capacity to love. It's the people, not the stuff, that we need to focus on.

Ortberg also reminds his readers that Christians have to be consistent in acting like Christians instead of labeling themselves as such. "The world gets pretty tired of people who have Christian bumper stickers on their cars, Christian fish signs on their trunks, Christian books on their shelves, Christian stations on their radios, Christian jewelry around their necks, Christian videos for their kids, and Christian magazines on their coffee tables but don't actually have the life of Jesus in their bones or the love of Jesus in their hearts." "Be the kind of player people want to sit next to," he urges, borrowing from a Monopoly analogy.

By turns humorous, painfully vulnerable, poignant and wise, Ortberg weaves biblical, personal and fictional anecdotes together with practical points in a compelling way for the reader. He includes insights from many excellent authors throughout, including Anne Lamott, Lewis Smedes, Susan Howatch, Viktor Frankl, Marjorie Rawlings and Thomas Lynch. Rather than getting in the way, these quotes and excerpts enrich the text.

One of Ortberg's passages that haunts me is this: "We need to ask ourselves what we are doing (or not doing) with our lives now that could lead to deep regret." He urges the practice of "regret prevention" --- assessing the commitments we have made in light of what we don't want to regret. Then, he asks us to consider what we need to rearrange. Don't wait for a crisis --- a child running away, getting fired, having a spouse file for divorce --- to force your hand, he urges. More will never be enough.

Although he uses the game metaphor throughout, Ortberg doesn't force it to get his ideas across. The narrative flows seamlessly. In places, Ortberg writes about spending time with your children, but this book is suitable for readers at any stage of life. My husband and I --- almost empty nesters --- are planning to read and discuss it together. It would be an excellent resource for personal reflection or small group study as well.

This is Ortberg writing at his best. But reader, be warned --- you'll come away changed.

--- Reviewed by Cindy Crosby

I am a telephone triage nurse and this is one of the reference books that we use. All of our copies are beat to death because of how much we use them, it is a favorite of all the nurses. There is a wealth of reliable information in this book! Everything is layed out clearly with an easy to use index. I am buying one to keep at home for reference for my kids and giving them out as gifts at baby showers. This is one book that is a must for parents. I am convinced that using it will keep a lot of parents out of the ER and doctor's offices for things that can be mananged at home.

I looked through the book and some items were read. Very informative. This was a book that I would have liked to have when I had my child several years ago. I had purchased this book for my daughter in law to have for her child. She also looked through the book and said WOW! This is good. Yes, I would recommend this book to any new mother.

I received this book as a baby shower gift before my first child was born, and I have to say, it was the most helpful gift I got. There is so much real, helpful information, including detailed guides on when to worry (and how much). A guide like that can do wonders for new parents, especially if you tend to jump right into panic mode at the first sign of trouble. When my pediatrician gave handouts at the end of the well-baby checkups, and many of them were taken directly from this book, I knew it was a winner. My oldest is 11 and it's still my go-to reference. I buy it every time I'm invited to a baby shower - it really is the best gift.

I can't say enough about how great this book is. I give it to all of my expecting friends now. I really like how you can search by symptoms and most of all how it guides you on the seriousness of the symptoms.

This book has been very helpful as a reference book whenever I've had a question about my daughter's health. It is easy to find what you need and is very common sense about such things as fevers and how to treat them. It's a great companion to the "What to expect" book and I find myself turning to this one first now.