Child and Adolescent Books

My daughter started reading this book at age 12, and has had it for 2 years. She still loves to go back and read selections of love, hope, courage. Give your teenager something worth reading! :)

I bought this book as a gift for my 16yr old niece. The very next day, she told me how much she loved the book. She even cried reading it. I think it's nice to find reading materials that can move the minds and feelings of teenagers.

I skimmed through the book before I gave it to my granddaughter who just turned 13. I thought it had some well written stories that a teenager can relate to and a lot of food for thought. She was so happy to get it, since she had the one for pre-teens also and really liked it.

Once again, "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books has a hit. This is a wonderful gift for young teens with its easy read of short stories on pertinent topics and experiences teens face. Teens I have given it to as a gift have loved it and purchased the next in the teen series. Also a source of good talking points for those anxiety ridden moments or social issues teens face.

I am a teacher in two high schools and I like to read the stories of the book to my students from time to time to inspirate them and reinforce their teenage self esteem! I suggest it to all teacher to make the same with a nice calm background music.

I was required to read this book in my high school psych class, as well as the sequel to it. It was a very captivating read, and the imagery really sticks with you. The teacher gave us a schedule of when we had to finish each chapter by, but I couldn't put the thing down.

This amazing true story is about a violent 6-year old. You will be amazed by the details of how her teacher--Torey Hayden--reaches out to this child with special needs. This book is a must for teachers and parents.

I was required to get this book for my special education training that I need for my master's. This book was very interesting. It showed the good and bad things Torey Hayden did in the course of serving this one child, Sheila. I could not put it down.

This story gave me tears of sadness and tears of joy. While it is heartbreaking to learn of all the abuse Sheila has endured, it is
heartwarming to know that SOMEONE took the time and effort to encourage her and to reach out to her. This book is a wonderful testament to the power of love and the human spirit.

I'm half-way through this book and I LOVE it so far!! I'm in school to become a teacher and we're reading this book. It has opened my eyes!!!

Twin brothers, Alex and Brett Harris, have weaved together principles and examples of faith in action in a book aimed at teenagers, but useful to Christians of all ages. They challenge us all to fight against low expectations in our society and culture, and do hard things, as the title of the book exhorts. At the age of only 19, they speak from experience. After reading the book, their website can be accessed to follow-up on their examples.

What a terrific book! Although it's written for teens, I found the information quite inspirational for even old people like me!

I plan to give it to my teenage grandson; he'll love it! Every teenager on your gift list should have a copy of this easy to read book.

I loved this book! These two incredible teen authors break the mold of the "typical teenager" and share their wonderful advice to other teens on how to prove the "lazy teenager" stereotype wrong.

A MUST READ FOR ALL TEENS (AND SOME ADULTS TOO!)

I picked up this book at my cousins house while I was visiting PA. It belonged to her young son (17 yrs). I could not put it down. When he ask if he could read "his" book I felt guilty and ordered my own. I plan on sharing it with every teen I know.
This is a great book for all teen leaders to read and share. It is very inspiring, even for retired folks like me.

There is much in this book to like. The writing style is very fluid and catchy. It is a very easy read but also one that has the ability to stir up your heart. The first part of the book, at least in my opinion, shines the brightest. The second and third section are necessary to help us see what The Rebelution looks like but I was sold on the first part. The Myth of Adolescence and A Better Way are two really great chapters. These teens know their culture and are impacting it in a profound way.

As a youth pastor I made an effort to get this book in the hands of every one of our teenagers. We went through this book in our Sunday School meetings and most of the students liked it, and some were excited about joining The Rebelution. This book, or at least all of the principles behind it, needs to catch on in our churches and within our youth culture.

What I Disliked:

This book will not solve all of the problems within teen culture nor is it meant to. However, there does seem to be something that is missing with this book. It pains me to say it because I expected the exact opposite, but the thing that seemed to missing was a Christ-centered, gospel-centered, appeal to rebel against low expectations. By no means is the gospel left out. The Harris brothers are always quick to point to God and many of their stories include the living out of the gospel. But there is a sense in which the gospel seems to take a back seat to social change. Would they consider someone a Rebelutionary that started a grass roots political campaign but never came to know and share in the glory of Christ? It is clear that their intent is to "do hard things for the glory of God" but does that really happen when unbelievers are merely creating social change?

Should You Buy It?

If you are an old codger that disdains and is bothered by the plight of youth culture then you need to read this book to see why teens are the way they are and what you can do about it. If you are a blissfully ignorant teenager then you need to read this book. If you work with teenagers and are beating your head against the wall this might be a good book for you. Simply put, if you have ever seen a teenager then this might be a good read for you. In my opinion this book is a seed of something really great. Be a part of it, buy the book.

This book is 100% counterintuitive of everything I ever knew about parenting, but it works!! I am the single parent of a teen with a man who does not believe in co-parenting. I thought my daughter and I had a normal parent/child relationship, but when my child finally returned from a visit this summer- severely brainwashed and alienated- it was the techniques in this book that broke down the walls - almost immediately. Now, it didn't cure everything, but it helped me to make that first crucial inroad into her world to try to repair the damage done over the visit by her father and his family who are actively grooming her hate me, actively undermining my authority in my home, all in an attempt to change custody. Since I have already gone down this road with her older sibling, I recognized what is going on behind the scenes early this time around.

I am now in counseling to assist me in changing my parenting style and my child will start with her own counselor soon. It is my sincere hope that between the advice of Dr. Bradley, through his book and website, and professional counseling we can get our relationship back on track. Like every parent all I want is for my child to grow into the best person she can be. Someone with compassion, respect for herself and others, goals, etc.

Thank you, Dr. Bradley, for this lifeline when I thought I was drowning in a sea of confusion, disrespect, personal attacks from all sides, and a growing chasm between myself and my child. Only time will tell what the outcome will be, but I believe we have made a good start. Our home is peaceful again. We laugh together and enjoy each other's company again. She is more respectful of the home boundaries and less prone to sulking because she didn't get her way.

I highly recommend this book.

If you are reading these reviews, then you are most likely the parent of a teen and you need some support right now. I work with teens. I wrote a book for teens. Teens talk to me. Parents of teens talk to me. Most importantly, I am a mom of teens.

What I can tell you is that parenting teens can be HARD. We all know parenting is the hardest job in the world and parenting teens is the hardest part of parenting. Michael Bradley's book, "Yes, Your Teen is Crazy!" is worth its weight in gold. I have read it and I recommend it very highly. (Read the whole book, not just parts!)

Bradley supports you with stories that let you know you are not alone in the struggle to grow your teen safely. He uses humor and he doesn't hold any punches, he tells it like it is even though it may be hard to hear.

Be ready for some self-examination. We are doing our best to grow our teens but in the process we are meant to grow as well. You may need to heal some of your own wounds from the way you were raised. You may need to develop new parenting skills. The good news is that you CAN do this. You are not alone. Yes, your teen is crazy AND you can get through this in spectacular ways.

One of the things Bradley wrote that is really sticking with me and that I've shared with a lot of other parents already is that your shining moments as a parent are not the happy, easy times. They are the challenging times when you rise. If you can stay calm in the face of insanity, those are your shining moments as a parent.

Read this book from cover to cover and then do it again as needed. We all fall on our face as parents AND we can get up and try again and do a little better each time.

Big blessings for a great relationship with your teen!

Aunt Laya
Mom to teens, and the author of the self-help book, "You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way."

Amazing book! It has not only helped me with my 16 year old - but is helping me change my relationship with my 14,10 and 8 year old boys for the better. I've already sent copies to friends with younger children - to give them a head start.

I have read this book cover to cover and I think the book covers pretty much every aspect of parenting teenagers - I've got two in my home. I bought the "Yes, Your Parents are Crazy" for my teens, as well. I wish Dr. would have mentioned something about cell phones, but I think I can figure them out, too with the help of other info. in this book. I have found some excellent ideas in this book and it has definately helped me maintain my inner "dispassionate cop" when dealing with those inevitable teen moments as well as help my sense of humor resurface. I have often been heard saying that there are lots of similarities in raising infants to teenagers including the number of people giving you unsolicitated advice. I think this book provides more then just more advice; it provides prospective.

This book is a Godsend! EVERY parent should read it...if possible, even BEFORE their child enters adolescence! You will gain the key to reaching your child! You will learn what TO DO and sometimes more importantly, what NOT to do regarding your parenting of your adolescent. His insight is REAL and APPLICABLE! You will be rewarded with a rich and mutually beneficial relationship with your child where you both feel respected and valued. This book was remarkable! I couldn't put it down. I am sure I will read it and reread it a few times. It's the closest thing to a how to book I've seen. He is brilliant!

I got this book for my granddaughter when she was pregnant. She has read and referred to this book so much, it's showing signs of wear and tear. She loves this book. Her husband has read it too. They find it very informative and a great guide for first-time parents.

I loved the ideas this book suggests. I've been dealing with my daughter's tantrums due to the new baby, and this book has been extremely helpful. It not only gives me ideas on how to calm my daughter down, but it also shows me how to calm myself down. I think every parent knows what I'm talking about.

"Perfect Parenting" is not about being a perfect parent. As a mom of two, I've come to realize we do the best we can with what we've got, and there's no such thing as perfect. Elizabeth Pantley's book is a solid guide that offers a nurturing hand in moments of distress or cluelessness. She's a mom of four. And she REALLY knows her stuff!

I found the book especially helpful in dealing with issues of lying or rough behavior. Kudos to Elizabeth for another job well done.

~Christine Louise Hohlbaum, author of DIARY OF A MOTHER and SAHM I AM: TALES OF A STAY-AT-HOME MOM IN EUROPE.

I bought this book after reading the rave reviews here, but I was somewhat deceived by it.

I think that some the deception stems out of the fact that I already owned a book by E. Pantley ( Kid Cooperation, which I recommend) and I found the author repeating itself in this book.

Also, I do not like the title, which I find lousy .

Moreover, unlike Kid Cooperation, this book places issues in alphabetical order so that you can browse through them, and does not dwell much into details ( psychological insights etc) . This can be great if you already know the basics of healthy parenting, but in the hands of the average parent, many of the hints could actually do more harm than good.
I don't like that much the "user's manual " style and I did like Pantley before reading this book more than I do now.

I've come to believe that before facing parenting issues and "misbehavior" most parents should work it out with THEIR own issues. Books like this may deceive into thinking that parenting is a matter of knowing the "right tricks" instead of a matter of attitude... Actually it is both, but the right attitude comes first, and without it the tools provided by this book will not work consistently.

I still give 3 stars to this book because it actually has some good hints and ideas ( although almost all of them, plus interesting insights on parental issues/behavior, can be found in Kid Cooperation). It can be useful as a reminder or a quick fix for those parents who are already "perfect" most of the time.

This is a great handy book to keep around to pick up a few tips anytime you have an issue with your kids and you don't know what to do. Once you look up your topic you get various options -- one of which is bound to work. The A to Z format makes it a snap to find what you're looking for. Includes typical stuff like sibling fights and dawdling to more unusual like won't eat vegetables or doesn't like her hair being washed and shoplifting and being a poor sport and even typical but weird things like nose picking. I keep it on the counter and use it often.

memoir written by a brilliant woman trained in child psychiatry, whose path was influenced by a need to heal the damages of her own childhood. That's How the Light Gets In: Memoir of a Psychiatrist by Susan Rako, M.D. owes its title to a song by Leonard Cohen: "There is a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." Rako's book is remarkably candid, fascinating, and wonderfully well-written. It's a great read. The writing just flows.

Great book. A must read for every parent. One of the best parenting books out there.

This book was a purchase as a gift to my daughter who brought our first grandchild into the world not long ago. I know about John Gottman and his reputation as an excellent researcher on emotions and how they play out in body language and other ways people communicate with one another. I am also very familiar with the research on Emotional Intelligence developed by Perter Salovey at Yale and popularized by Daniel Goleman. This book integrates all of those sources of profoundly important social science into an amalgam that will surely help parents guide their children toward becoming well balanced and confident. This is not a bunch of pop psychology. It is impotant information from a man who knows whereof he speaks.

This book was published 10 years ago, but the advice is still as timely as ever. Very well written, with just the right blend of research, stories, and recommendations. This book should improve the life of anyone who reads it. When John Gottman talks, people listen!

John Gottman is a professor of psychology at the University of Washington, a Rabbi, author of the excellent book, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," and also an entertaining speaker. My wife and I attended one of his talks on successful marriages. He's the Jerry Seinfeld of the clinical psychologist-Rabbi set.

Against that backdrop, it wasn't difficult for my wife to get me to read "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child" after we had our second kid, although I wondered what misdeed on my part prompted the purchase.

As with Seven Principles, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child is a tad heavy on discussions of research methodology, obviously intended to enhance the credibility of Gottman's conclusions. And some of Gottman's advice is a bit much for any but the most obsessive-compulsive. As an example, I don't think I'll be keeping an "emotion log" anytime soon in order to better understand my feelings "from moment to moment."

Such quirks aside, I recommend this book to every parent. It's short and easy to read, and most readers probably come away wishing their parents had read it. Gottman provides compelling insights and guidance for parents on how to help children identify, understand and work with all kinds of emotions ("emotion coaching"). Concepts are supported by examples of good and bad parental attitudes and/or parent-child interactions. These real-life examples colorfully reinforce Gottman's basic theories and demonstrate the advice in action.

Half way through the book, I found myself already trying to apply its principles in dealing with emotional outbreaks from our young children. They responded well. Gottman presents compelling evidence that parents can play an important role in the emotional well-being and happiness of their children and he argues persuasively that parents who succeed in doing so likely form stronger bonds with their children. That's a lot more value than one usually expects from a $13, 200-page paperback.

This is the best book on ADHD that I have read! Sometimes the scenarios were so right on that I felt like the author must live in our house. I feel like I have a much better understanding of my daughter since reading the book. I put into practice some of the tips right away and noticed results immediately. Before reading this, I was still questioning my daughter's diagnosis but not anymore. This book may have saved my daughter's self-esteem as I now feel confident with how to help her get through her hard times.

My daughter's pediatrician recommended this book. It is a look into my daughter's present struggle with an explanation of "why" & how to help. It gives insight into her future struggles & how to prepare & possibly even avoid some situations. It explains the DIFFERENT way ADHD affects girls than boys! Highly recommended!

I would highly recommend this book to parents and guardians of girls with ADHD. I saw many of my daughter's behaviors and symptoms very clearly at each stage of her life - how I wish I had had this book when she was younger! We were fortunate to have a pre-school teacher who was experienced enough to point out to us the "red flags" she was observing with our daughter's behavior in the classroom and how she related to other children, and she was professional enough not to diagnose her, but referred us to neurologist who made the diagnosis, so we caught her ADHD early, which made a huge difference. This is an eye-opening book, and will help prepare you for what may be coming as your child progresses through school and life stages. It has given me the information that I needed to understand how I can help my daughter succeed and grow and how to relate to her effectively now and in the future. Now I know why she's so tired when she comes home from school and this book makes it so obvious! The real-life examples are riveting and heart-breaking and will make any good parent want to do anything they can to help their daughter avoid those pitfalls that these women experienced throughout their lives. Bravo to the authors for recognizing that research done on boys with ADHD can only provide a piece of the puzzle - we all know that boys and girls are different and as a result, present ADHD symptoms and behaviors in different ways, as you will see when you read this book. Don't hesitate to buy this book - you will be glad you did and your daughter will be too!

would have helped me understand my daughter, and myself, better. This book presents the research in a way any parent can understand. It also let me know what to expect for the future. Most of the books I've read ignore the differences between ADD in boys and girls-- not this one. This book should be handed to parents of ADD girls as soon as the diagnosis is made, if not sooner.

After being frustrated and watching my daughter start to fail I was finally able to convince teachers that she had a problem with add, just because your daughter is not bouncing off the walls doesn't meant there isn't a problem. This book help me to explain many painful experiences so that the staff was able to finally step in and help. My daughter is now in excelled classes, not on meds and yes we still have our interesting days but we are able to handle them better. Our social worker used this book to give an inservice during the summer. Teachers are often taught to identify boys who cause problems as add candidates. Girls who are day dreamers or chatty cathys are overlooked, and often highly intelligent children mimic add qualities, and are just 'hardwired' differenly, they can be seen as challenging authority and problems, too often used as tutors to their classmates, when they get home is when they have a melt down, but being people pleasers somehow hold it together all day at school and save it for mom. Get the book! It saved our family.

This book is perfectly written, gives a reading pleasure, a very good historical review of attachment theory. But if you want something more technical this may be not suitable for you. I'll advise this book as a good start for anyone who wants to get familiar with attachment.

I recommend That's How the Light Gets In: Memoir of a Psychiatrist by Susan Rako, M.D. The title comes from a song by Leonard Cohen: "There is a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." Rako's book is remarkably candid, brilliantly insightful, and wonderfully wel-written. It's a great read. The writing just flows.

This is an amazing book which was recommended to me by a friend who works in Child Protection - the parents of the children have mental health issues which range from learning disabilities to more extreme personality disorders. She sees babies and toddlers who have been abused through neglect; absence of communication; verbal, emotional, physical and sexual abuse. The children suffer a range of disorders from the physical to mental, emotional and social as a result, yet all have degrees of attachment to their abusers, ambivalent attachment and codependency and the patterns of how they are likely to develop are easy to see manifesting in the child that will become the adult if there is no early intervention, if the relationships were to continue between child and parent and if there is a lack of awareness or ability as a growing adult to consciously make efforts to change habitual patterns. This book covers all of these themes. Moreover in the seemingly relatively normal upbringing of a child and then the adult who looks retrospectively at their own childhood and their present relationship with their own children similar issues arise which affect their ability or capacity to love or show an ability to love. This book causes one to self-reflect, analyse and ponder quite deeply how we love because of how we were loved or what we understood or perceived love to be.

I just finished this book about two weeks ago and I want to read it again. Although the book at times is a little technical, it is perfect for anyone interested in understanding people. Although the book is primarily about child development, Robert Karen adds amazing insights throughout that are absolutley mind boggling. I would highly recommend this to everyone because you will not only understand others, but you will understand yourself. Absolutely love it!

I'm about 2/3 of the way through this, and I must say: I am very impressed. You can learn a lot more from this book about childrearing and how to bring children up to be secure, confident adults that you can from most of the pop psychology and parenting books which present the fad of the day or some catchy opinion that has not been backed up by scientific research. Karen has a rare combination of professional expertise, a wide command of the extensive literature relating to early childhood including psychoanalytic, a real gift for writing, and a willingness to not dodge difficult issues and to be entirely forthright with the reader, without ever underestimating the intelligence of the reader to grapple with the issues he brings up and form their own conclusions. The book does get a bit dense towards the middle, including info that the layperson probably wouldn't want to bother with, but he never loses the narrative thread and I kept reading and learning and being grateful he did such a thorough and well-reasoned job of presenting all this material.

I think this is the best book written on the topic of third culture kids. The book is insightful and answers questions that are just under the surface for both kids and those who love them.

This book discusses emotional and identity development of children growing up in foreign countries and re-entry issues. This is an excellent book for those who have lived abroad during the developmental years 0 - 18 and for parents. A must read!

This book was recommended to us and I would recommend it to anyone living outside their own culture with kids. The information is very valuable to helping children adjust and understanding how growing up outside their culture will affect them.

If you have lived in a country other than the country your parent(s) are from for a significant period of time as a child and then had to move back (or to another, very different place)...this book is for you. Like many other tck's, I have always felt out of place and just thought I was different or weird. I could never understand why my parents never had the same sentiments. Now I understand that the way I feel is a normal outcome of the way of life I had as a child. This book is also a great reference to those serving in the military with children, moving constantly both within the US and around the world. It puts the missing link in place and explains the complex emotions that child tck's experience as adults. It all makes sense now, and I can even understand why I married a Frenchman and why we're planning on moving back to Europe!

Being a child living in between a passport culture and another culture which one is daily relating to, needs not be a negative experience. There are certainly some unique issues for such cross cultural dwellers but with good preparation, communication, support systems, family functionality, the life of TCKs can be incredibly hopeful and beneficial.

Pollock and Van Reken have created a very readable and enjoyable account of the lives of a third culture kids. Clearly they have much knowledge and exposure to TCKs and have pulled together their many thoughts and reflections to give us the full picture of such an experience.
The book is both practical and insightful with many lists and suggestions for families. The personal vignettes and testimonies make the explanations more real. Though, it would have been more helpful to have more background information about the testimonies to place in proper context.
I appreciate the attitude of the book that there are challenges as well as great benefits and the choice lies with individuals to take responsibility for their own actions. Often reactions to life reside inside themselves rather than in outside events and situations. (p.181)
The book paints a nice picture of the TCK's family and experience but it gives very little guidance in actually helping and counseling such kids who may not have positive outcomes from their time abroad. It would be valuable to have a second volume of specific counseling techniques, interventions, and therapy guidelines to better serve TCKs and ATCKs who struggle from a less than ideal experience.

Another book that is often read after the fact. This book should be required reading in premarital counseling, marriage counseling when children are involved and certainly before two parents make the final decision to divorce. The book has many valid points that are not unobvious but are probably not considered in depth by parents who are about to uproot their children's world. I have read a few books on the subject and I myself am a `child of divorce'. Although these books have valuable information in them I believe they enable a `child of divorce' to blame many of their problems on this fact. I think most if not all children face some kind of hardship and quite honestly, if the only hardship you face is a `good divorce' I think you are still a very fortunate individual. Compare it to poverty, debilitating illness of a parent, death of a parent, addiction (child or parent) violence, sexual abuse, etc. and you are still ahead. Research shows that children of divorce are not any more likely to have a lasting marriage then their parents. This says to me that their parent's divorce did not negatively impact them enough to change the path for their own children.
Obviously, an intact healthy marriage is the ideal way for a child to grow up and I do not condone divorce, but we don't live in a perfect or even ideal world. This book and others I have read on the subject leave little hope for a `child of divorce' to get past this and create an enabling attitude. They state you will be forever affected by your parents' choice. Affected-yeah, but immobilized-no! No one gets to pick their parents and I am sure there are countless numbers of children who would trade places with `children of divorce' and would wind up much better off. If parents contemplating divorce read this book first it would be up them to decide if this is something they `need' to put their children through. It should certainly be avoided if possible but avoidable or not, once a child grows up they have a responsibility to themselves, their spouse and their children to deal with past hurts, disappointments and devastations. Call it callous but at what point do you just say `get over it'? You can't change it. You can only control your future and that of your children.

As a child of the "ideal" divorce I think anyone considering a divorce should read this book first. This dose of reality will hopefully motivate them to seriously overhaul their broken relationships with their spouses and avoid spreading the misery. If that is impossible, as in cases of adultery or abuse, it will at least help them understand what their children are really experiencing.

Without turning this into a therapy session, I will say I was that kid. My parents divorced for legitimate reasons when my brother was a toddler and I was an infant. After the divorce both camps were genuinely cooperative and positive about each other. At 33 years old I still experience the ripple effect.

My husband is the only person I ever discussed my parents' divorce with. He read a review and a few quotes from this book and he said it was eerie how the author said almost word for word things I have said to him. He suggested I get it and read it.

Between Two Worlds is dead on accurate. I was stunned reading a book that a total stranger seemed to have written about my inner life. I have never ever in the first 20 years of my life spoken of any of it aloud, and yet my heart and mind were there in black and white right in front of me. It felt almost surreal.

Be warned children of divorce-this is not a book to read in a low place in your life or just before the holidays. When you do read it, loan it someone who loves you and can hear difficult and uncomfortable things from you without trying to tell you how you should feel. That's part of the problem. We've been told how to feel for so long by society that society may not know how to hear us.

Spouses of children of divorce would really benefit from reading this book. So many different issues are covered so thoroughly in ways a child of divorce just can't or won't articulate.

There is little discussion of the legacy of divorce in the marriages of adult children of divorce and none of how being a child of divorce affects you as a parent, but being a mom, I suspect we would find some patterns if we looked. The focus is primarily on the childhood years.

Maybe the ripple effect will be explored in the next book by the author.

The only gap in this book is probably because of the age difference between the author and her sibling. I have noticed that in some cases sibling bonds tighten after divorce in ways that other sibling relationships don't. My brother and I have that experience. That wasn't explored in this book.

Since the 1960s, the Western world has embarked upon a novel and large scale social experiment: the demolition of marriage and the elevation of divorce. Never before in the West have so many marriages ended in divorce, and so many children been forced to endure the horrors of parental separation.

This seismic shift in marriage is as new as it is far-reaching. And because it is so recent, it has only been in the past few years that an entire generation of kids who have lived through divorce have grown up and are able to give their version of events.

And that story is uniformly damning: divorce hurts children, and it hurts them deeply and in a myriad of ways. And that hurt continues throughout adult life. Another clear message coming from the these children is that there is no such thing as a "good divorce".

Sure, in some cases divorce is the only option. But in the overwhelming majority of cases, divorce need not have been the option, and children of divorce desperately wished it did not happen. In truth, children of divorce "typically experience painful loses, moral confusion, spiritual suffering, strained or broken relationships, and higher rates of all kinds of social problems". Their world, in other words, is turned upside-down.

Marquardt argues that while divorce is a way for adults to cope with their problems, it is not in the best interests of the child in most cases. Allowing for certain obvious exceptions, most difficult marriages can be remedied if the parents are willing to work at it. Indeed, most marriages that end in divorce - two-thirds of them - are low-conflict. Children do not benefit from parental divorce. Indeed, "the best possible outcome for children is to live in one home with their mother and father".

And Marquardt has double reason to make these claims. One, she is herself the child of a divorce. And two, she has based her conclusions on a pioneering study of 1,500 young adults from both intact and divorced families. The study, conducted by her and sociologist Norval Glenn, have simply verified what most people know by common sense: divorce has numerous negative consequences for children, and many of those consequences stay with them for the rest of their lives.

This book examines in detail these findings. The actual facts and figures are there, but so too are numerous personal testimonies of those involved in the study. They put a human face on to the statistical data. And the face seen is a sad one indeed. Divorce impacts children profoundly, and the stories told here are tragic and moving.

The three year study made many disturbing discoveries. Meaty chapters explore the various negative outcomes for children of divorce. Consider just one area: the divided self of the child of divorce. The child is ripped out of a cohesive and unified environment (even where conflict takes place) and "suddenly inherits two distinct worlds in which to grow up".

Says Marquardt, every marriage experiences conflict, but there is an underlying cohesion and solidarity to the marriage which is radically destroyed by divorce. In marriage two individuals "become one flesh," but in divorce the parents are separated and become two people again. And the child - quite unprepared - is forced to deal with this new reality.

Adds Marquardt, "after a divorce the task that once belonged to the parents - to make sense of their different worlds - becomes the child's. The grown-ups can no longer manage the challenge, so the child is asked to try." But that is an adult responsibility which young children just cannot carry, a burden they cannot - and should not - bear.

As a result, children of divorce are much more likely than children of intact families to experience "confusion, isolation, and suffering". They are forced to become little adults. Their childhood is ripped away from them, and they are forced to grow up way too soon.

In an intact family, the children are the centre, the nucleus, and the parents work to protect them and nurture them. But after divorce, the two parents themselves become the centre, and children are left to fend for themselves.

In effect, adults start acting like children while the child is forced to act like an adult. That is an intolerable weight for any child to have to carry. And on it goes for the child of divorce. One painful chapter after another highlights the tremendous pressures and strains foisted upon the child of divorce, and the long-term wounds they cause.

Marquardt makes it clear that not every divorce is bad, and that she is not trying to argue that divorced parents are bad people. But she does insist that divorce is primarily about adults and their needs, and almost never about children and their needs. Very few have asked how divorce impacts the children involved.

This book makes it quite clear that children are overwhelmingly losers in divorce. There is very little good at all that children receive from parental divorce. The radical restructuring of a child's world after divorce should be our main consideration. But in most cases it is not.

Our world has been transformed from being a marriage-culture to a divorce-culture. Perhaps it is time that we became a child-friendly-culture. As Marquardt says, "we need to make sweeping changes to our thinking about marriage". And this book is a great place to begin with such a rethink.

I never really realized how much my parents' divorce bothered me until I read this book. That is not to say that this book convinced me of something that wasn't true; rather, I couldn't put my finger on what had happened to me until I read this book. I didn't become pregnant at 16 or drop out of school; in fact, I am a "successful" adult by the book's standards. However, I had no idea how to make a relationship work, and I trusted no one. Just knowing why really helped me in my current relationship!

In "Between Two Worlds" Marquardt, explores the consequences of divorce for children. Marquardt herself was the child of divorce, and it left her caught between two houses and feeling safe nowhere.

The statistics show the changes over the last 50 years. A huge increase in divorce and single parenthood is matched by a huge increase in drug abuse, sexual abuse, school difficulties, and emotional problems for our children.

And yet for 50 years, there have been cheery idiot articles and books about how to manage a "good" divorce. But as Marquardt shows, there are no good divorces for children.

Worse, there doesn't seem to be any easy way to repair the damage. Remarriage, statistically,is tied to an even higher number of problems than mere divorce. It does not replace the first marriage. A raft of grim statistics show just how badly most children fare in blended families. Very few ever feel attached to the new parent, very few ever do well in school again, very few go on to lead happy lives. And the statistics on those who are sexually and emotionally abused in blended families is incredible.

We have harmed our children and therefore we have harmed the future.