Aging Books

I read When a Man Turns Forty by Curtis Pesmen a little after my fortieth birthday last year. As I approach my forty-first birthday, I just might read it again.

Over all, Pesmen gives some very practical advice and addresses many subjects that all of us at this age start thinking about.

Chapter topics include a general look at turning forty, a chapter on women and what forty means to them, marriage issues, body issues such as changes in hair, skin, eyes, etc., fitness and food, sex issues including sexual health, family matters, financial matters and security, and then a view from turning fifty.

Some of us want to ignore the aging process. Unfortunately, time keeps marching on, and no matter how hard we try, we age. And with age, certain things need to be addressed. This book does exactly that.

Personally, I didn't want to turn forty, and I'm not eager for my next birthdays. As a martial artist and someone who has always been extremely active, I find it takes a little longer to heal these days and I have aches and pains that I don't remember having 20 years ago. I also feel the pressures of my job, pressures of family life, and the little voices that sometimes say "what if?" This book was enlightening to read and see how others handled the same issues and the stories of midlife pauses rather than what the author calls the overused midlife crisis gave me things to think about as I face the same things or prepare to face them.

We can't stop aging, so we might as well enjoy the journey. This book has some practical wisdom to help you do just that. I recommend this book to anyone who has hit that midlife mark and is wondering just what it is all about.

Reviewed by Alain Burrese, J.D., author, speaker
Hard-Won Wisdom From The School of Hard Knocks, Hapkido Hoshinsul, Streetfighting Essentials, Hapkido Cane, and The Lock On Joint Locking series, and articles including a regular column on negotiation for The Montana Lawyer

I learned somethings from this book that helped me understand not only change from growing older and retiring, but the grief process of saying good byes that seems to accompany ageing. I have ordered an extra copy to give to a pastor, because it is a good reference book for a counselor.

I found myself reviewing my own relationship with my mother as I read the author's love letters to her mother, stricken with Alzheimer's. The frustrations as the daughter had to become the mother, the difficulty in facing right-to-die issues with siblings and the full circle of life as understanding and love finally circumvented all the pathologies relationships bring. It was a lovely tribute and will help families who are experiencing the Alzheimer's challenge with a loved one.

When Our Parents Become Our Children documents the trials and tribulations of a couple who had parents and siblings on both sides of the family die. The common factor is that Mr. and Mrs. Thacker became caregivers for all these family members at some point, sometimes briefly and sometimes longer. This "memoir" seeks to share with readers the range of emotions that a person goes through when their parents become incapacitated to the extent that they need assistance with everyday living.

I found that the message contained within the story was artfully placed and didn't overpower the story itself. This is a story straight from the heart and with genuine value to a person in this situation or about to be in this situation. It will help prepare the reader for the trials ahead which could help them mentally accept the situation and better make decisions for their parents.

Mr. Thacker put his all into this book. Though the book is filled with sadness and despair through the deaths of all the family members involved, I'm sure it provided closure for him and helped him cope better with his losses. A beautiful tribute to his and his wife's parents that can be read by his descendants to help them achieve a closer relationship and more respect for the fallen family members. If nothing else, it will serve a purpose to him, his current family and future family.

Hopefully, it will assist some people in the same situation to be better prepared and informed for their parents becoming their children.

Caregiving is a tough job. A family shares its experiences when caring for their mom who had dementia. This book gives insight which leads to compassion, wisdom which leads to understanding, and forgiveness which leads to peace of mind.

This is the answer most are looking for as far as aging parent issues. Irecommend to everyone! I simply pass these out.

Since my "official" retirement from the university 3 years ago I have been confronting many of the questions raised by James Birren in "Where to Go from Here ?" Although his questions are posed more to those around 50 years who are entering the final third or so of their lifespan, they are even more relevant to those who are either recently retired or in imminent "danger" of such a radical change in their life status. Questions such as "Where have I been, How did I get here, Toward what am I headed ?" lead to the ultimate question --- "How would you live your life if you were truly free ?" Along the way to answering this final question, Birren provides a host of useful initially probing questions and various maneuvers, such as constructing "My Lifeline" and "My Life Portfolio" which aid in the confrontation with this final challenge for the remainder of one's life. While many of the questions raised are of the "Yes, of course, what could be more obvious ?" type, they are the very questions that do not occur to many of us without prompting from someone like Birren. It is a book which can be read several times over to gain its full import for one's remaining years.

The Biblical "Titus Woman" relationship between these 2 authors will be a revelation to women who are struggling with self-esteem at 40, anger at 40, sexuality at 40, mortality at 40, and other relevant issues. The Biblical wisdom and counsel of the older Titus woman will encourage every woman who is in that 40-something season of her life.

Collaboratively written by Dixon Arnett (retired public policy specialist) and Wende Dawson Chan (Advisory Council, San Francisco Commission on Aging), The Wisdom To Choose: A Comprehensive Guide To Health And Independence For Elders is a broad, solid, "user friendly" reference that is composed and presented in language easily understood by the non-specialist general reader about the medical problems seniors place and how to cope with difficulties while maintaining quality of life. The Wisdom To Choose addresses a wide variety of issues and concerns ranging from Independent Living, to Assisted Living, to Institutional Care. The Wisdom To Choose is especially recommended reading for seniors with an interest in significantly enhancing the quality of their lives and preserving as much personal independence as they can, for as long as possible.

At last, a book to make the definite changes in a woman's life effective with a "ritual," and easier to accept. So many begin to need a walker to aid in walking, and are reluntant to have it. I particulary appreciate a "ritual" for that occasion and other changes in a woman's life.