Aging Books

"Involved Fathering'' works on several levels. It is an academic study that's easy for ordinary parents to read because the writing is to-the-point. This original research shows that involved fathers change for the better as a result of the time they spend with their children. Everyone knows parenting has an effect on children, and now, thanks to Rob Palkovitz, we know parenting also has an effect on parents. I enjoyed reading how a truly diverse group of individual fathers view their parenting experiences.

This really was a terrific book and I enjoyed reading it. It has everything from adventure to comedy to drama. You've got this Florida senator and his bride driving down the coast on their way to Florida. On the way, they stop and are involved in trying to rescue a drowning man. On the beach, the guy starts spouting some nonsense about the Fountain of Youth and living forever. Turns out he was a famous scientist. He dies. The people at the beach soon realize he was leaving clues to the Fountain of Youth and living forever. And the chase is on, like in the It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World movie from years ago, with a whole crazy cast of characters chasing after this Fountain of Youth for themselves. They aren't sure what it is or where it is, but they all want it. I picked this book up and couldn't put it down till the end. Along the way, the novel has a lot to say about the obsession with youth that we have in this country and how far we'll go to keep up with even the illusion of our own. If you like adventure mixed up with a bit of comedy and drama, you'll enjoy this book. I did.

This book is not only educational, but written in a spirit that is helpful to those playing catch up in retirement savings. Mr. Francavilla has put together a well thought out course of action that can potentially benefit anyone who reads it.

It's Never Too Late To Be Happy!: Reparenting Yourself For Happiness by marriage and family therapist Muriel James, is a remarkably "reader friendly" and effective self-help guide to pursuing and achieving true happiness and contentment in one's life. From learning to listen to and love oneself; to scheduling and achieving realistic goals; to knowing when it is best to forgive; It's Never Too Late To Be Happy! offers a well-rounded and enthusiastically recommended approach to improving the quality of one's life regardless of personal circumstances or conditions.

While the focus is on the thoughts and feelings of the elderly woman with the attitude that her age has earned her the right to be cranky, everyone else will understand and enjoy the humor. Using cartoons with captions, the developers capture the "humor" of growing old. Some example captions are:

*) It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
*) I think I must be wearing a "wonder where they went" bra.
*) Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat until the wrinkles fill out.
*) Another birthday? Get ready to gru-u-u-umble!
*) It's not the heat, it's the hormones. (My favorite)

While getting old is inevitable and fraught with problems, laughing about it is one way to cope. This book is a kick in your sagging, weathered funny bone.

I have reviewed many books in the past. This is, however, a new experience for me. I know the author; he was a beacon in my own bleak childhood. After fifty years of journeying in different directions, we are once again in touch. On every page I recognize the beam of hope that he has cast for all who entered his life. If this review appears as much a tribute as a critique, it is only fair to tell the reader where I am coming from.

Journeys is a combination of autobiography and history of the author’s family. The autobiography has a “deep structure” dealing with the perennial struggle of conscience over expediency, and between principle and self-interest. In this connection, the book describes the bureaucracies that the author has battled, interspersed with stories of the many troubled individuals that the author befriended and to whom he provided non-intrusive and invaluable guidance. This is all done without self-congratulation; in fact, he gives himself various pseudonyms as he relates these stories.

My own relationship to the author is not described in the book, but those that are reported are highly representative of it. Here it is impossible not to interpose a personal account of what Sam meant to me. I too was an orphan. My mother was institutionalized when I was ten. My father was unable to care for a grieving and desperately unhappy pre-adolescent. After family members gave up on me, I was deposited on the doorstep of the Pride of Judea Children’s home, where Sam Arcus was a counselor. Sam, a caring and dedicated mentor, taught us all that “a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step,” and he encouraged us to get all the education we could for that journey. He shared what he was learning as a part-time college student, and although I believed it to be far beyond my capacity to achieve, he gave me the longing for knowledge that ultimately would lead me to a Ph.D. and a deeply satisfying academic career. At twelve years old, I felt I had only one true friend, and that friend was Sam.

At age sixteen, in early 1944, I joined the wartime merchant marine. Sam and I had many conversations about the wisdom of that decision prior to its implementation. I hear echoes of those discussions in several chapters of the book. For instance, one chapter deals with a family contemplating and pursuing conversion from Catholicism to Judaism, and another is about a frightened, lonely and bewildered youngster who had been through them all -- counselors, social workers, parole officers, cops â€" without relief. Among the many reasons the author is able to help where others fail is that he never forgot the loneliness, bewilderment and fright from his own childhood and adolescence.

The earlier book, Deja Views, told of Sam’s own experiences as an orphan at the Hebrew National Orphan Home, and as a counselor at the Pride of Judea. Journeys contains historical accounts of Sam’s family in Russia, explaining how he came to HNOH, and autobiographical accounts of his career as a social worker and administrator of various Jewish Community Centers in the United States. (Never mind the pseudonyms; all the characters are Sam.) The family history is fascinating, giving the reader a glimpse into the true meaning of the phrase, “The best laid plans of mice and men go oft astray.” As the son of a relatively prosperous Jewish horse breeder in Russia, Sam’s father Nochem came to the United States with plans to bring his wife Basha and two young children along as soon as he had the means to do so. However, his younger sister was involved with a non-Jewish Army officer, and the scandalized family agreed that he should bring her to the New World first, using the papers he had obtained for his wife. His children would not leave Russia without their mother, and so Nathan’s sister came alone.

Then came World War I. Nathan’s wife and children fled a pogrom and, believing they were dead, Nathan married Sam’s mother Mollie. They had two children together before they learned that Basha and Nathan’s children had in fact survived. The financial burden of supporting Nathan’s two families, and the unfortunate accidental death of Nathan and Mollie’s first-born, plunged Mollie into a depression from which she never recovered. She died in a fall from a building that may or may not have been suicide, and that is how Sam came to be a ward of the HNOH.

These stories are told with warmth, sensitivity and an occasional dash of humor. Even those who were the villains in young Sam’s life are given a voice to tell their version of the truth. The story of a family torn asunder by its cultural placement, its own values (even if self-destructive), and the inexorable march of history is rich and textured.

Next is an account of Sam’s journey from 1940 to today. Sam’s goodness has never tarnished. He has consistently maintained the values he shared with his orphaned charges as a youth, and has never sacrificed integrity for expediency. No human institution is perfect; all serve the needs of the people who staff them whether or not these needs are congruent with the institutional mission. Sam always tried to do what he believed he had been hired to do, and not surprisingly, this resulted in an employment history that did not progress on a smooth and straight line. He encountered men whose wealth and power substituted for learning and talent. He ran up on the political rocks of organizations whose rifts were there long before he arrived. But through it all, Sam never lost his belief that a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step, he never stopped working to improve social institutions and he never stopped counseling troubled young people to take that first step. His relatively newly-minted career as an author show that his own Journey is far from over.

This is an excellent companion to Frederick Hudson's 'The Adult Years: Mastering the Art of Self Renewal' & 'Life Launch: A Passionate Guide to the Rest of Your Life'.

Frederick Hudson also happened to be the co-author of this interesting book.

I particularly liked the two authors' warm approach to sharing insightful observations & important lessons about elderhood. Instead of the traditional approach to dealing with retirement, & of course, aging, they urged readers to think proactively. They coined the term: protirement.

Their meaningful & practical suggestions are phrased along this way.

For example (also my personal favourites):

- turn frenetic energy of mid life into a more leisurely approach to the world around you;

- Accept death: it's inevitable, so stare it down & think five years ahead to stay future-oriented;

- friends will die; grieve them & replace them with new ones, including younger ones for whom you can be mentor;

Bravo to John & Frederick! Great Work!

Dr. Pelletier has given us a gift. He has written a book that helps us value aging-this is so important in a culture that is truely aging and fearful of it. Dr. Pelletier, a psychologist, shares his personal journey, his hardships, losses and his own deep joys as he sees and feels them. Even in the profound losses he shares with us, Dr. Pelletier can find a kind of joy and deep respect that only a person who has learned to age well can share with us.

For anyone who might be aging with a degree of trepidation, I would suggest a read of Dr. Pelletier's book. He will offer guidance, practical and personal advice that will ease your pain and deepen your appreciation of being older. An included chapter by Dr. Carl Rogers elevates this book to work of art.

With so many people living so much longer, unless they find ways means and methods for enjoying aging, the extra years will not contribute much to the enjoyment of life.

Dr. Sweeting spells out some of "The Joys of Successful Aging"

This book would be very helpful for those of us embroiled in our spouses mid-life transition. I only wish this book had been available about 7 years ago. The author has hit on most if not all the issues a left behind spouse will have to deal with. His advice is excellant ... however following the advice has no gaurantees. This is primarily a self-help book on how to the weather the storm the significant other brings into our lives. The book is easy to read and the touches of humour are a wonderful addition. If you don't laugh at some of the antics of the MLC'er you'll get pulled down their toilet with them. A very enjoyable read indeed ...albeit in retrospect.