Aging Books

Slow Dancing at Death's Door is a candid account of the author's experiences as her parents reached their final days. She shares her feelings of frustration, grief, anger, and all of those things she wish she hadn't said or did. For individuals suffering through similar circumstances will see themselves in the author's words, feel an instant connection to her most secret thoughts, and will take comfort in that they aren't alone in these aspects.

In addition to this very comforting material, the author also includes information to help educate the reader on things such as wills, power of attorney, and making preparation for all of those things we'd much rather put off. Despite our need to stay in denial, these simple preparations will not only make things run smoother in the long run but actually assure that your parents' wishes are fulfilled.

The author also urges people to really get to know their parents (their life before you were born, their stories, what they value, etc) and make a loving connection. This action is particularly important for those who have had falling outs with their parents.

This book was extremely helpful. I recently lost my mother to cancer and I had alot of unanswered questions. This book was a god-send. I advise anyone that finds themselves in the same shoes of god forbid losing a parent to illness or accident, to get this book.. She uses some scripture from the bible and her personal experience is an added plus. Not just an author making up the answer and the story,she has actually been there. So do yourself a favor and get this book if you have questions about a parents death.

It is impressive to see that a woman, Amy C. Baker, from the corporate world has stepped forward to show us our deepest human value: the need for serving our departing generation. Her book Slow Dancing at Death's Door (Life Journey/Cook International, Colorado, 2006) incarnates a healthy form of what has been called `Survivor's Syndrome'. Amy Baker exhausts her experience of anger, frustration, loneliness, and grief, that are the lot of so many aging members of our `Sandwich Generation', and comes out with an enlightening lesson: forgiving for not knowing better.

Losing her mother to cancer and father to Hepatitis C, Amy Baker recounts what it feels like losing your loved ones and how best you can play your role of a caring child, at the same time a spouse, a parent, a responsible employee, and many temporary roles that one is obliged to take in life. That business world has not calcified her human spirit shows in Baker's account of all she did for her dying parents to claim her success as a humane being. That she is an intelligent writer is evident from the warmth and energy of emotion that saturate her expression throughout the book.

As Amy Baker maturely embellishes her passages with good-hearted humor, the gravity of a subject like death (and that of one's own parents) has no chance to oppress or offend the reader. However, Baker does more than that. With her faith, she illustrates the falsity of our perfection-seeking attitude towards life, thus showing us the importance to shed our slough of self-centeredness while at the same time not overlooking the need to take care of ourselves in order to be able to care for our parents. The emphasis is on growth not only in flesh and blood but more so in human spirit. On the practical side, we can see advice on hospice, management of ailing parents, and legal matters pertaining to inheritance, estate panning, and wills.

The nonconformist reader might frown over Baker's frequent resort to biblical quotes, which are seen as the source of inspiration and divine power. This does become a bit obtrusive, especially at end of the book, where the author discusses preserving family history for future generations. Nevertheless, the spontaneity of her account of her parents' death holds high her attempt to `light beacons of hope' in her reader's heart. The touching beauty of Amy Baker's tapestry of words in paying homage to her late parents is heart winning. She is one writer who emerges victorious from her situation as a caring survivor.

Author Amy C. Baker has touched upon a cord in her new work, "Slow Dancing At Death's Door." This work is in a way a journal of her experience in dealing with the life and death of her parents. Now wait, yes it is an emotional read, but one that is done with such honesty and heart-felt compassion and understanding that all of us who are facing the same dilemma will breath a sigh of relief as we devour each morsel of this writing.
Our author shares some of her parents lives with us, their personality,their good and some of their bad traits and her relationship with them. She takes us on some rides down memory lane and brings us to the point of their departure into eternity.
In this work we learn about such things as, "Living Wills," "Medical Power of Attorney," and "Hospice," to name a few. Listen, if you have aging parents you are either going to deal with these issues now or later, and later is not a good idea.
I know for those of us who have aging parents this is an issue we would much rather sweep under the rug, but guess what? It's going to come seeping out and there isn't a thing in this world you can do to stop it.
I loved this book because the writing was honest and held invaluable information that is needed, yet it was laced with strong faith in a God who will strengthen us and be with us. A realization that in life there is death in death there is eternity and it is a road we are all traveling. This work will help you to help those who are passing through the door to have a much happier departure and you to have a much less stressful goodbye.
I cannot recommend this highly enough for all those who have aging parents. the encouragement, advice and strength you will obtain from this book is irreplaceable.
A must have!
Shirley Johnson
Senior Reviewer
MidWest Book Review

I've found this book to be an excellent holistic approach to health: Not something we typically expect from an M.D. researcher. The book is written for the lay public in an easy-to-follow format. The author is a health researcher who uses examples from his own and others' research, along with patient examples to show how we can apply this information to our lives. He covers five main health areas: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, Relational, and Spiritual. Each section is covered in detail with the goal that true health is achieved only when we find an equilibrium among these five areas. The book provides plenty of information (and affirmation) for people who are already health conscious and the author's encouragement toward better health makes it easy to identify and work on areas of our lives that need an overhaul.

In our constant search for the fountain of youth,it is refreshing to have the medical research to support my theory that aging and attitude are connected. I have sent this book to 20 friends with the message " for 2000 I hope this book encourages us to tell a friend we appreciate them, seek new challenges, and create the disclipine to discard bad habits and bad attitudes."

In our constant search for the fountain of youth, it is refreshing to have the medical research to support my theory that aging and attitude are connected. I have sent this book to 20 friends with the message "For 2000, I hope this book encourages us to tell a friend we appreciate them, seek new challenges and create the discipline to discard bad habits and bad attitudes.

This is an extremely well written book that provides considerable practical and easy to follow information regarding how to optimize ones chances of maintaining a high quality of health as they age. The format is easy to follow and the summary of guidelines at the end of each chapter enhances the ability to understand how to modify ones behavior. The whimsical personal comments make reading easy as it is done at a conversational level. The way the book is written it is apparent that Dr. Malarkey must be an outstanding teacher. Having read other books on the same subject I can recommend this as the best written and one that makes the most sense. Dr. Malarkey deserves to be thanked for his outstanding contribution.

I great friend of mine suggested this book during a troubled relationship I was experiencing and it has been a Godsend. I didn't know such thoughts, feeling an emotions that I was feeling could be captured in such few lines of text. I adore this book and would recommend it to anyone who is going thru an emotional transition.

Simple words full of wisdom that make you THINK and say, "Yeah, I understand that." Good book.

Being creatures of habit, human beings often have downfalls and pieces of themselves that inhibit them that they would like to change. This short book really helps with a wonderful analogy to show in plain terms what it is we do when we are forced into a habit. This has helped a few people I know, and it has helped me tremendously to help me turn around and practice my Christian faith, not just preach it. Whatever piece of you it is that you want to get rid of or change, reading this will definately be helpful.

This is something I have given to many I have dated. It talks in a sweet poinent way about how we feel when we fall for that special someone.

Those of us who have kids at home and aging parents understand the stress of being a member of the "Sandwich Generation." I have found this book to be very helpful in understanding what to anticipate regarding my parents, how to help them stay healthy, and how to evaluate the seriousness of their health issues. This should be on every baby boomer's bookshelf.

This is a great reference book to check causes for various ailments we oldsters experience. I recently had a serious bacterial infection. I checked Dr. Connally's book and found that the drug I had been prescribed was correct but the duration of the treatment was too short. I checked with my doctor and he agreed to extend treatment. I feel great now. Thanks, Dr. Connally!

Dr. Connally's book "The Third Third" provides you with the information you need to make an intelligent evaluation of how you can improve your chances of leading a happy and healthy last third of your life. It gives you the information you need to understand and appreciate your doctor's recommendations and advice.

It stresses the importance of having a regular physician and provides you with the tools to make good health judgements. It is well written by a caring physician who has had many years of practical experience. It is written in a style that is easily understandable.

I am not in the Third Third of my life. In fact, I'm just entering my second third. However, I found this book enormously informative and comforting as I manage the care of my two parents, in the early third third of their lives, and my grandmother in the late third, or actually the fourth third.

I compare this book to that wonderful guide to pregnancy that we all know, "What to Expect When You're Expecting." The book takes you by the hand through old age.

Thunder on the Left has nothing to do with the contemporary, suspenseful primary elections; the erudite Christopher Morley's literary title makes reference to a Roman fancy that when men heard thunder on the left the gods had something of importance to impart to mankind. Thunder on the Left (1925) is a fantasy novel involving a shift in time, a young boy's refusal to age, and a disturbingly ambiguous look at adult life.

We first view the mysterious world of adults from the perspective of young children and maturing adolescents attending a birthday party for Martin. Subsequent chapters shift forward in time at which the children are now adults, and have through coincidence gathered again at the same locale, a large, rustic house somewhere in New England. One uninvited guest, a rather inexplicably naïve artist, is gradually exposed to the reader as none other than the young Martin, somehow transported into adulthood and yet still a child in his perspective and outlook.

The world of adults is uncomfortable. We encounter infidelity, disappointment, and ennui. And yet, Morley manages to avoid too much seriousness. Martin's naivety offers a whimsical balance that transforms this potentially grave analysis into a fascinating story, one that the reader will long remember.

Christopher Morley's best novels, including The Haunted Bookshop, Parnassus on Wheels, and Thunder on the Left, have remained popular for their intriguing perspectives, their ability to engage the readers, and for their whimsical seriousness.

My copy of Thunder on the Left was published by Sun & Moon Press, Los Angeles, in 1995.

Just read Thunder on the Left last night, thank God for quality reprint edition. The suggestions of affairs, growth/loss and the child in each adult are fairly universal notions that Morley treats with style. No, not stylized, but with style. Suggestions of emotions force the reader to work and think throughout this story of the ultimate childrens' party. Who is really a child and who is really an adult? Are emotions mere toys or the things we close our closet doors to at night? When the reader must focus on himself instead of the light and breezy style of a summer read, then we are drawn into the stories of christopher morley, bravo, and when can we see Johnny Mistletoe on a booklist somewhere, anyone?

"If there were only one moonshiny night in each century, men would never be done talking of it. Old lying books would be consulted; in padded club chairs grizzled gentry whose grandfathers had witnessed it would prate of that milky perversion that once diluted the unmixed absolute of night. And those who had no vested gossip in the matter would proclaim it unlikely to recur, or impossible to have happened." Morley's novel is full of similar wonderful passages. It is also, metaphorically, the story of such a moonshiny night when Martin, the little boy who wanted to spy on adults to see if they were happy, appears as a boy in an adult's body. Things ensue at a leisurely (perhaps a little too leisurely) pace. While the writing at times is quite funny, the novel itself is full of sad whimsy. The novel asks, "What do we do to ourselves as we grow up?" Morley's novel, first published in the 1920's, is a wonderful book.

No, this is not a political tract, but a novel by the man whose most famous work of fiction was "Kitty Foyle," later made into the film which brought an Academy Award to Ginger Rogers. "Thunder on the Left" begins when a child is having a birthday party. His guests discuss the joys of being young as compared with the nature of becoming an adult. The story then leaps several decades, to the same setting at a time when all the characters are grownups, except for the one who has stayed a boy. Morley may seem in certain ways to be an old fashioned author. This is a story that will never be irrelevant to the lives of all of us, however, and it is a marvelous book to read more than once. What a good idea for Sun & Moon Classics to publish it again after all these years in the darkest of the library stacks.

..That title sounds like a good song, right? Kirkwood did a good job. If you want to know a little more about his work, you can find his articles at Pubmed, http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi
Yes, I recommend this book.
Ana Laura Fazio
Biochemist, MSc. Immunology

Don't be misled by the first few chapters. The style is relaxed, discursive, and laced with entertaining anecdotes which sometimes seem a little off-subject.

The "disposable soma" theory of aging emerges in Chapter 6. The author first proposed this theory in a paper published in Nature in 1977, and he argues a convincing case. It is a simple but highly plausible theory, like Darwin's theory of evolution, and it defines a framework within which other theories of aging can be understood.

DNA and cells are constantly under attack. They are under attack from such things as ultraviolet radiation, viruses, free oxygen released by normal mitochondrial metabolism, and the odd hiccup during DNA-copying. We have defences against these attacks: the immune-system, anti-oxidants, and a form of DNA proof-reading under which "cells could in principle be as accurate as they liked". BUT all these defences come at a cost. The germ cells are indeed protected at any cost: that is why life goes on forever. But it would be a waste of energy to protect the somatic cells in a way that would prolong life beyond the point at which accidental death would claim almost every individual. The maximum length of time that a member of a species would normally survive in the wild determines the degree of protection which the genes of the species are prepared to pay for.

The irony is that we might be shortening our lives by drowning our bodies with oxidants generated by burning far more calories than we evolved to handle. If only those excess calories could be diverted into improving our internal "repairs & maintenance" and so lengthen our lives instead!

An excellent book, as iconoclastic in its way as Richard Dawkin's "Selfish Gene", though not as melodramatic.

If you've ever wondered why we can live to 80 years while our pets or livestock can expect to live for only a small fraction of that span, you'll find the explanations in "The Time of our Lives" very satisfying.

The best part of this book is its exploration of what aging is, in biological terms, and how different modes of aging can be explained by Darwinian theory. This is not a book on how to live longer, but rather a book on what scientists are learning about the mechanisms and reasons for aging.

Kirkwood writes in a lighthearted and readable style, but unlike many popular science writers, he gives his reader total respect. In areas where I keep up with medical research, (like the long-term effects of HRT) I found his book to be right up to date with the research published within the last year.

Best of all, he has no "do this and live for ever" prescription--a nice change from most other books about aging available nowadays, which seem to have been written under the sponsorship of supplement manufacturers.

A pleasant and informative read!

I recently finished reading this book and found it to be quite interesting and helpful in understanding why and how we all age. I think Tom Kirkwood did a very good job in explaining the biological mechanisms and processes behind aging - at a level comprehensible to the general reader - without oversimplifying or neglecting the necessary subject matter.

The book starts by talking about the social aspects and worldwide (also historical) statistics of human aging. Then the author introduces a theory of aging and gives an overview about the evolutionary, biological, physiological, and biochemical concepts and mechanisms, which is necessary to understand the aging process. In doing this, he also explains many aspects of cancer. The later chapters try to clarify the reason behind the gender- and geography-related differences in life expectancies. Finally, the last two chapters talk about the "do"s and "don't"s of "making more time". The bibliography section at the end of the book directs more interested readers to specific and more advanced sources about the material covered in the book.

Although this book was generally fast-reading, I had to re-read some looong sentences two or even three times in order to put their heads and tails together. Also, I found the last two chapters a little anticlimactic. I guess I was expecting more than "don't smoke, eat right, exercise" type of recommendations. The author doesn't make many predictions about longevity enhancement in the future, but the short science fiction story at the end of the book kind of serves for this purpose.

Still, the book deserves a five star rating in my humble opinion because it successfully explains a very complicated process to the layman without using scientific jargon. Also, the author does not go out on a limb and make unfounded or crazy predictions (like many famous science authors cannot resist the temptation of doing).

Sue has given us beautifully written stories that guide us through the nuances of aging. Through these vignettes, we are given a bridge to compassionately and gracefully embrace the issues that arise as we age. This is a wonderful resource for seniors and their adult children.

I loved this book of vignettes. It teaches us how to talk with our parents about subjects that are difficult. I read it, then I gave it to our daughter. She is giving it to her daughter. Read it now before you need to. Read it before it is too late. I wish I had the book before my mother passed on. The years are precious. Thanks, Susan, for your insights.

Sue Cunningham has written a little gem of a book that is both insightful and practical. Drawing on her years of experience working with the children of aging parents, she has collected a series of pithy stories and observations that simultaneously inspire and educate. A recommended read for professionals and children of elders alike!

Wow! This book by Susan Cunningham is a special find. It offers keen insight into the emotions and feelings surrounding the challenge of long term care. A must-read for baby boomers who aren't sure how to help their parents as they age, and a must-read for advisors. Don't look here for answers, but instead for something that's much harder to find: insight and understanding.

Waiting For The Morning: A Mother And Daughter's Journey Through Alzheimer's Disease is a profound, personal testimony. Author Brenda Parris Sibly presents her poetry, caregiving journal, helpful advice for those who are struggling to adapt to caring for loved ones with Alzheimer's. Waiting For The Morning is sensitive, thoughtful, occasionally inspiring, and always highly recommended reading. Parting Thoughts: I didn't fix things/by being here,/and more of my trying/brought you much cheer./The flowers I planted/will be a mockery/if they bloom again/without you to see./There'll be no more Christmas--/no holidays again--/for you were everything/in my Christmas plans./I feel a cold chill/all the way to my soul,/but Mama, please know,/that I love you so.

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..wanted to be the first to review this book!

I was probably among the first visitors to Brenda Parris Sibley's web site, "A Year to Remember...with My Mother and Alzheimer's Disease," back in 1996. I had a special interest in Alzheimer's, because our family had just come through our own care-giving journey. Our grandmother, who we cared for in our home for seven years, had died in May of '96 a little over a month after Brenda's mother passed away. I visited her site many, many times over the next few years.
I thought it was wonderful!

I have just finished reading "Waiting for the Morning" and it has touched me in a way I honestly did not think it could. As far as caring for an Alzheimer's victim, I've experienced it all. All the emotions; the guilt of not being patient enough, the longing to bring this person back, for just a little longer, that feeling of being "in control" one day, and in the depths the next, not knowing how I would survive another minute. Yet, while reading Brenda's journal I found myself snickering, remembering the silly moments, and holding back tears recalling the heartache. I was right there in that little house with her, loving her Mom and feeling the emotion of every stage of this cruel disease. For some reason it was a good feeling.
Maybe like surviving a battle and feeling camaraderie with a fellow soldier.

How I would have loved to read this book while I was caring for "Gram"!
Brenda is learning as she goes along, trying different things to make her Mom comfortable, recording it all in her journal. She shares information she has read, and tries to figure out the things that seem to cause her mother's agitation so she can avoid them. It is very informative, and I believe would be a very comforting support to any caregiver. Just to see that what they are experiencing with their loved one, although so very difficult, is not unusual and that the resulting emotions they feel are normal as well.

But I now realize-even more than before- that Brenda and I were "in the trenches" at the very same time, learning and failing; but coming through it with stories that will hopefully make the way just a little more comforting to those going through it now.

....And the poetry!
Brenda's poetry is so wonderfully honest and touching. I am filling up with tears just thinking about it. It is really special.

It was very moving to read of Brenda's grief, and how she worked through it. Isn't it amazing that this very difficult and life changing experience has resulted in the development of the web-site that many would consider the "hub" of all the Alzheimer's care giving sites?
What a wonderful memorial to her Mom, and a victorious overcoming of such a difficult experience.

.......Thank you Brenda for all of your efforts!
Mary B Walsh (author of "One Family's Journey Through Alzheimer's)

`Waiting for the Morning' accurately and honestly depicts the decline of Alzheimer's disease, each and every stage, along with the devastation imparted unto the caregiver in the process. Brenda's guilt emanates throughout: `You pleaded with me to come home, so I did. Mama's baby came home, but you don't know me. I'm too late - Alzheimer's came first.' She blames herself for the natural progression of this hideous disease; while at the same time the reader is so acutely aware of her undying love for this woman who raised her. Brenda's pain is also evident: `This is the hardest thing about Alzheimer's. Whenever she remembers that she has a daughter by my name, she worries about her - not understanding that I've been right here with her all along.' This part hit me hardest: the utter loss of her mother's awareness before her body left.

Each chapter tells the tragic story of a woman whose mind is breaking; whose switches are shutting down, one by one; and of the daughter whose unswerving commitment bears the brunt and the blame for everything which happens. Brenda's book is truly about exactly what she says in the beginning `Learn from my mistakes; know that you are not alone; and most of all, cherish the time you have left with your loved one'. These words come from great wisdom, borne out of harsh experience and unfailing love; calling out to those who follow behind her in their own journeys. If you want to know the truth, read this book. Within its covers, the `way in the wilderness' will become obvious to you. Brenda lived it - with her heart's intent being that you might be spared and enlightened as a result of the words which she penned.

Waiting for the Morning is a wonderfully written journal by Brenda Parris Sibley. If you want to know what Alzheimer's disease is all about, this is a must read book! From the very beginning, when Brenda returns home to care for her mom, we can feel the constant roller coaster ride as she tells of her experiences. Brenda expresses her thoughts and emotions so well that you feel as if you are also right there! Her book clearly shows the love she had for her mother and the guilt which overtakes her as she cannot stop this dreaded disease. Her thoughts and feelings teach us to treasure each moment as a caregiver and the blessings that come with it. She also shows us that there is life after caregiving ends and we gradually find our way back into the world. Her poems are beautiful and the pictures make you feel as if you always knew her mom. There are many references for suggested reading, so together with her story, anyone who reads Waiting For The Morning will come away much richer and blessed!

I got this book as a Kwanzaa gift from my aunt and at first, I didn't know what to expect. The title seemed a bit condescending and "Uncle Tom"-ish, and Wally Amos, the COOKIE GUY???? But since I am an open minded intellectual African, I read the book, to find that I could not put it down!

Amos, a brilliant entrepeneur, has succeeded because of his positive attitude and his joyous approach to life. He makes lemonade from life's lemons (or watermelons) and is so warm and wise, he reminds me of the village elders from Africa.

The book is filled with anecdotes and pearls of wisdom culled from his own experience, as well as the history of our people, and also from philosophers and writers as diverse as Confucius and Booker T.

I most strongly recommend this book to anyone, African or not, to lift their spirits and find a way to smile though adversity.

This is a great book that gives great advice about being an individual, working hard and about other aspects of life.

So many aspects to self-help. I haven't quit talking about this book since I read it 3 weeks ago. I have purchased 3 copies so far to hand out as presents. Everybody should read this no matter what your age, you will gain a positive insight. It was recommended to me by my therapist who has been passing the "word"of Watermelon Magic on to everyone who will listen. I will be giving this book as a present to everyone that I know who has a birthday this year or Christmas or just "because they need it". The only unfortunate thing is that it is not on audio tape for the blind. Work on that

This is a charming, uplifting, extemely honest little book, full of nuggets of wisdom, and a glimpse into Amos' life. Measuring not much more than 5 x 7, it would make the perfect stocking stuffer, or gift for someone who needs some encouragement and a few positive thoughts.
Wally has been an adventurous soul, and has a wonderful, easy and humorous way with words. He's had his ups and downs, but has known how to get by with a fearless zest for living.

The layout is excellent, and unlike some books of this type, has no wasted space. Its 9 chapters are separated by choice quotes from wise folks like Confucius and Mark Twain, and a short "Wallymelon Lesson", like: "My experiences have shown me that life truly is a journey, and the less baggage we carry the easier the ride" (pg. 38).

I particularly liked the chapter that deals with the loss of his mother, "Gaining from Loss". It was tenderly written and quite moving. Though there's no new revelation in this book, it's an easy, refreshing read, like spoonfulls of cheer, with a lot of heart.
"...we are all strands in the tapestry of life. Whatever we do to the tapestry, we do to ourselves" (pg.83).

A great help in learning about dealing with our families. Levine reveals complex problems,that we are not all aware of. She is both wise and humorous on this NEW subject brought on by a longer life span.

A great help in learning about dealing with our families. Levine reveals complex problems,that we are not all aware of. She is both wise and humorous on this NEW subject brought on by a longer life span.

Great information for those in a or getting into a caregiver role for adult children or seniors. Very helpful in coping with this very stressful situation. A humorous approach to a stage of life that many boomers may find themselves entering. "hits the nail on the head"

This book is the first one that I have found on a subject that is very important to the "Baby Boomer Generation". This covers the newest and biggest problems emerging as this generation gets ready for retirement.