Abuse Books

This book hits the nail on the head on corporate abuse. I displays the greediness and quest for a good "bottom line" instead of treating employees with the respect they've earned.

I read this book when I was working at a very abusive organization. It brought clarity to my confusion, removed the personal burden I had been carrying and alleviated a great deal of stress from my life. We stress when we don't understand. This book will bring you understanding. If this was all "Corporate Abuse" did it would be more than worth the price. However, the clarity of the author's ideas combined with the personal anecdotes made otherwise esoteric and ivory tower theories shockingly real and applicable to daily life. This is not a 'whoa-is-me', 'corporate = bad, employee = good' diatribe. It offers incredible insight into how corporations work and why these situations are inevitable when certain foundations have been laid. It is just as valuable to the corporate mind as it is to the employee. In addition, the authors offer guidelines for both parties to either improve the situation or avoid it all together. That's why it gets a fifth star!

Perhaps the greatest benefit of this book for those who find themselves in abusive work situations is coming to the realization that there really is a problem and that they are not to blame for it. Abusers are well-skilled at making those they abuse shoulder the blame for the abuse. Wright and Smye make it clear that the abusive work situation is both dysfunctional and wrong. The sub-title "How Lean and Mean Robs People and Profits" makes it clear that no one wins. The writers identify three patterns of workplace abuse (there are likely others). These patterns of abuse are systemic rather than situational. To that end they identify them as cultures. The first pattern is the "culture of sacrifice." The essence of this culture is its insatiable demands on the employee. The employee can never give enough to satisfy the demand and personal boundaries are treated as non-existant. The second pattern which they identify is the "win-lose culture". The essence of this pattern is healthy competition turned demonic. Co-workers are pitted against one another in a Darwinian expectation that the strongest will prevail, thus making the corporation stronger. The third abusive pattern is the "culture of blame." In this pattern someone is always to blame for any problem. Problems are never the result of processes or systems and the culprit, once identified, is destroyed. This book is not about some soft-hearted sentimentality that cannot deal with competition, hard work and difficult decisions. It is about recognizing and understanding what it means to be human and treat others in the workplace with respect. It is about building a culture with an eye to the long term in which both the bottom line and the potential of the worker are maximized. The book is an easy read and provides a good balance of analysis and examples of dysfunctional workplaces. If you've ever found yourself in an abusive workplace (or if you are currently in such a place) this book is a must-read for understanding your situation and extricating yourself from it.

Speaking as someone from an alcoholic family, this book helps you "detach, with love" as they say in AA. You realize you can live life for yourself and that you deserve to. The courage to change is needed because the old patterns are familiar and comfortable, but they no longer work. The book brings together wisdom from diverse sources, is divided into 365 short sections corresponding to days of the year, and encourages you truthfully, yet warmly, every step of the way. Read this, it's time to stop beating up on yourself!!

This little book is chocked full of inspiration

I've been in recovery for five years, and I use this book to start my day. It's full of helpful recovery reminders that make it a very special source of inspiration for me. My relationship with Jesus Christ, the Bible, and this little book make my recovery possible. I'd recommend it to anyone who struggles with issues of codependency.

Alcoholism cuts across all divides, afflicting the young, the old, the rich, the poor, the famous, the unknown. In this very absorbing book, author and interviewer Dennis Wholey meets with a few of them and presents their thoughts on how they became alcoholics, how it affected their lives, and what they did in an effort to control their disease.

The book breaks down into several sections. After a short introduction by actor, singer, and alcoholic Gordon MacRae, Wholey describes his own journey--and then launches into sections titled "The Beginning," "The Progression," "Quitting," and "A New Life," in which the likes of Doc Severinson, Shecky Green, Gary Crosby, Bob Welch, and Thomas Tryon describe their personal experiences with the disease at various stages. Other sections include "The Woman Alcoholic," "Alcoholism and Homosexuality," "Wives and Alcoholic Husbands," and "The Families of Alcoholics."

Although the book finishes out with information on Al-Anon and A.A., it does not actually "preach" either organization as a cure-all for every alcoholic, and several of the interview subjects found relief through various other organizations or techniques.

You might suppose this book will be of interest only to other alcoholics, but that is far from the case. With a broad range of personalities involved--Gale Storm, Jason Robarbs, Grace Slick, and Billy Carter to name but four more--it offers a truly fascinating look into both the individual and the disease. It also offers inspiration for any one who has ever faced the need to make substantial life-changes for any reason.

If there is a flaw in the book, it is that it has a slightly dated quality. Although it offers a section on "The Woman Alcoholic," the emphasis is on men, and the "Alcoholism and Homosexuality" section consists of a single interview that has, in many respects, suffered a great deal from changing attitudes and better research. Even so, while an update would be welcome, COURAGE TO CHANGE remains a powerful testament and inspiration.

GFT, Amazon Reviewer

Great buy, would definately recommend this book to anyone who is struggling with the affects of alcohol in their life.

When I read The Courage to Change the first time (1987, the original edition) it changed my life because it explained alcoholism in a concrete way that was easy to understand. The stories from alcoholic (and some nonalcoholic) celebrities go a long way toward illustrating the damage this disease causes while showing that you don't have to be the proverbial falling-down drunk or daily drinker to be an alcoholic. The stories also, by the way, are entertaining and show the humanity of some of the household names who tell them. Wholey mixes up the rhythm of this book enough that you don't get bored. Something here for everyone--I've personally bought literally more than 12 copies to give away. I recommend it highly. Thanks, Dennis Wholey!

Few people have gone through what Jim Cyr did as a child. The fact that he survived, and has created a successful life for himself, is a testimoy to grace. This book is shocking in mnay ways, but Jim is as graphic about the way to his healing as he is about the horrors he experienced. The stories he shares, and how they helped him heal, are especially fresh. Searing in its honesty, without a hint of self-pity ... I applaud Jim for his courage in sharing his story. I hope it points to the path of wholeness for many.

I know Jim personaly and wanted to tell everyone what a kind and compassionate man he is. To know now what he has been through, and to know him as I do just shows what Gods Grace can do for anyone of us, whether a sufferer of childhood abuse or not. Read this book, it will truly amaze you, and to know that their is help and a light at the end of the tunnel.

Jim has written a compelling and incredibly transparent account of what can only be described as a miracle. The story of his life is riveting - but most importantly, it is encouraging. Buy this book - read it and recommend it to your friends and family.

When I saw this book, it was the cover that caught my attention. I was in the band and a lot of my life had a musical theme. I didn't read the notes about the book, I just decided to get it. I read it that night until I couldn't keep my eyes open and finished it the next day. I decided that I wanted to have a copy of this book and ordered it at a local bookstore. I re-read it when it arrived a few weeks later.

It is truly a great book and I'm sure my sister will enjoy reading it, too.

I am in band, and a sax and oboe player, just as a coincidence! A friend of mine, also in band, had lent me the book after I just randomly grabbed it off of her desk during class one day. I asked her what is was about, and she told me that it was one of the best inspirational books she had ever read involving two things we both loved: Music and romance. Me, being a band geek and a sucker for inspirational books, I immediatly took an interest and began reading. And I have got to tell you, this book will suck you into a world unlike one you've ever seen. It takes you into a world seen from Andrew's eyes, a handsome, yet abused tenor sax player in a suffering high school band. He has problems at home on the farm so Andrew sees band as a safe haven. With the arrival of a new band teacher, and the growing crush on the "5-foot, 12-inch" female oboe player, Andrew's life gets better and worse at the same time. The bridge scene kept me on the edge of my seat! This story truly shows how the power of music and trust and teamwork can lead you into a life that does nothing but...well...Crescendo!!

(Crescendo ~ to build intensity; to grow)

I couldn't put this book down, even though it was written for a younger audience. It may be too mature for the 11- to 13-year-olds. Definitly an inspiring book for high schoolers, especially those in band.

I find this book to be disturbing in the sense that it could have been anyone of us who were close to the Church. The photography is stunning and beautiful. My heart goes out to the men and women who suffered/suffers in the hands of these monsters. It has changed my view of the church. Hail to my cousin Carm who helped put the facts out there. My prayers are with all those people.

Picking up this beautifully bound photography book, one could not imagine the experience hiding inside. In his debut publication called SHELTER, Lucky Michaels rocks the photography world with a book chronicling the lives of the young queer people living at a New York City shelter. Michaels' images are shockingly intimate and from first page to last, they weave a story of what it is to be queer, young, and homeless. In one image, a shelter resident snorts the blue powder from a pixie stick. In another, a pair of transgender girls fix each other's hair as they get ready to leave for the day. Michaels has an eye like no other photographer and it's clear that he truly loves his subject matter.

The photographs are accompanied by text that tells a more narrative version of these young people's lives. We follow the lives of a handful of the people seen in the book and see what the world is like through their eyes. The stories are often tragic, gut-wrenching vignettes, but each of them holds an element of hope and promise that their worlds will get better. The real magic, however is found in the photographs themselves.

This book is a treasure that deserves a place on everyone's bookshelf. It's a reminder of the work still left to do and a celebration of young lives that excel in survival. And watch out for Lucky Michaels. This guy clearly has a healthy, successful career ahead of him.

The material in this book only contained three posed shots, realistic imagery of the lives of LGBT runaways and discarded youths. They need a shelter and a home - this book brings to light that need and lays it very honestly before you. It has a prominent place on my living room table for all to see and inquire.

As a college counselor I have recommended this book to numerous students (both male and female) who have been in abusive relationships and are trying to break free. Dr. Nelson has done an excellent job portraying the characteristics of the abuser and the feelings of the victim. I would strongly urge anyone who may think they are involved with an abuser to read this book. It also is an excellent resource for those in the dating world to heed the red flags of abuse. It is a lifesaver.

This is a great book for anyone who's ever had a psycho spouse, lover or roomate. Or even if you don't want one, then read this book!

It has been two years since my ex-boyfriend attacked me. And I am only now allowing myself to open up to a new relationship. This book gave me permission to let go of the hurt and confusion. I now have the tools to tell the difference between someone who will hurt me and someone who will care for me. I have asked several of my friends and family members to read it. The information is invalueable to all.

Susan Murphy-Milano is an excellent observer and educator of the crime of domestic violence. This book will help anyone going through or witnessing a loved one who is a victim of domestic violence. Wake-up America this is our dirty little secret. The public and system could benefit from reading this book. Domestic Violence is on the rise. It effects generations. Thank you Susan for this book. Keep fighting the good fight!

This is a book WAY AHEAD of it's time! Still very valuable asset!

More good books by Susan:
Moving out, Moving on
Defending Ourselves -

The author's own tragic story of how her father terrorized the family brings the reader into understanding that the inforamtion provided in this book was written to safe lives. This book is a basic roadmap to safety. It provides legal direction and how to best use the syste, where ever you live. This book saved my daughter and my granchildren's lives. And the author personally assisted us with our road map to safety. This book should be at every high school library and college across the country!

I am currently in the process of ending my abusive relationship.
This book has been a tremendous guide in understanding what my rights are as an abuse victim and how to best use the court system. I found the "Escape Chapter" very helpful in preparing to start my new life without my abuser being able to locate me.

There is great comfort as I read this book knowing that someone out there has put together information that will make me and my children and other family members safe!

It's not always the catastrophic event that destroys our relationships; indeed, the most perilous of dangers can be those that do subtle, insidious damage - often over time rather than all at once. In Destructive Relationships, Dr. Jill Murray inspects with us the beliefs, feelings, and actions that serve as foundation for our connections to others. She identifies the symptoms, causes, and consequences of destructive relationships. And, in the process, she provides for the reader a toolbox of skills and attitudes necessary to build positive, healthy relationships.


Through a variety of case studies, Dr. Murray illustrates the warning signs of destructive relationships. Importantly, she defines and describes the many types of abuse that can occur in a relationship: physical, emotional, sexual, and verbal. She demonstrates clearly that these abusive relationships can cause immediate or long-term, slight or devastating damage - to us and to those with whom we connect. And on an optimistic, empowering note, the author provides for the reader a blueprint for changing the dynamics of current and future relationships.



Destructive Relationships is an important book for anyone interested in establishing and maintaining healthy, positive relationships. Readers will learn to identify and apply those attitudes and skills that best nurture healthy, positive relationships with others. In doing so, they will better equip themselves to build interpersonal connections that are safe and solid - physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

While there are many types of destructive relationships this book deals primarily with abusive ones. These relationships may be between husband and wife, boss and employee, friends, parents, children, or any other group of people. The relationships may be physically abusive, or they may be emotionally, sexually, or verbally abusive. "Destructive Relationships" walks the reader through warning signs that a relationship might be unhealthy by defining what is normal and what is not. The authors follow that up with an excellent look at self-esteem issues and how to deal with them effectively instead of using ineffective coping mechanisms. Finally Dr. Murray shows you the pathway to a positive future with healthy relationships.

The sections on the consequences of abusive relationships were exceptional. They defined not only the consequence but also the various ways in which those consequences manifest themselves. Each section then ended with an activity you can do to help lessen the power of the consequence. There is also an excellent chapter on dealing with abusers in the real world.

"Destructive Relationships" is a highly recommended read for many people: for anyone involved in such relationships and blaming themselves, for people who seem to always be getting into abusive relationships, or anyone who knows someone in such a relationship. It is not a miracle answer, but a pathway that the person must travel to achieve freedom from the grip of low self-esteem, emotional fear, shame, guilt, and other consequences of destructive relationships.

It's not always the catastrophic event that destroys our relationships; indeed, the most perilous of dangers can be those that do subtle, insidious damage - often over time rather than all at once. In Destructive Relationships, Dr. Jill Murray inspects with us the beliefs, feelings, and actions that serve as foundation for our connections to others. She identifies the symptoms, causes, and consequences of destructive relationships. And, in the process, she provides for the reader a toolbox of skills and attitudes necessary to build positive, healthy relationships.

Through a variety of case studies, Dr. Murray illustrates the warning signs of destructive relationships. Importantly, she defines and describes the many types of abuse that can occur in a relationship: physical, emotional, sexual, and verbal. She demonstrates clearly that these abusive relationships can cause immediate or long-term, slight or devastating damage - to us and to those with whom we connect. And on an optimistic, empowering note, the author provides for the reader a blueprint for changing the dynamics of current and future relationships.

Destructive Relationships is an important book for anyone interested in establishing and maintaining healthy, positive relationships. Readers will learn to identify and apply those attitudes and skills that best nurture healthy, positive relationships with others. In doing so, they will better equip themselves to build interpersonal connections that are safe and solid - physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

This book helped me so much. After being raped I had so many questions including the title question and this book answered many of them and really put me steps forward in my recovery. Thank you Gayle Crabtree for putting a book like this out there.

If you have been in an abusive relationship, you have probably ask yourself, Does God Still Love Me?
Gayle Crabtree answers this question many times over in her book. Best of all, she uses scripture to support her answers.
She not only answers the difficult question, does God still love me, she goes further to answer other questions I am sure you ask yourself then and possibly now.
What did I do to deserve this? Why me? I am praying, why will he not change? There was not a question I ask myself that was not answered in Ms. Crabtree's book.
I would strongly recommend it to anyone feeling `let down' or `left behind' by God. You will know he is, and always has been, there. You will be reminded of free will. You will hear Garth singing, `Unanswered Prayers'

Does God Still Love Me?
by Gayle Crabtree


This is the manual to own if you've ever been abused in any way. Gayle Crabtree has written a well designed guide to answer all questions and gives information that every sexually or otherwise abused women need to know.

Gayle Crabtree also offers advice even to ministers on how to counsel rape victims and all types of abused women.

If you are a victim of any type of abuse-this is the book to read.

If you are counseling a victim of abuse-this is the book to read.

I give it 5 stars. No victim or counselor should be without it.