Abuse Books

Real Rape...Real Pain...busts the myth wide open...that in fact women that are involved with an abusive partner...do indeed get raped...and just because it does happen in marrages, relationships, it is still a fact that is true. And that rape can happen any where...to anyone at any time. Rape is not just defined to being attacked on the street.

The authors, and thirty survivors share some painful memories, sharing their stories, their courage. The authors do focus on alot of things...starting with society...and how it has shaped how men treat women...that we actually perpetuate the myth...that rape doesn't happen at home...when it fact it does.

One of the chapters that I found the most interesting...was how vulnerable we are, and why get involved with the people...abusers. This dates back to the kind of environment that you've grown up around...which again, could've been abusive, alcohol...sexual abuse, fighting, arguing...again, making the survivors...unknowningly think that they either didn't deserve any better, or that it was all that they knew?

This is a powerful read, and this resource should be available in every RCC center around the world. Every Library should have it...

Its informative...giving information for leaving an abusive relationship to the step that you take...to even if you choose to stay...

What is really focused through out the entire book, is what the survivor thinks about herself...that is emphasized in every chapter...to remember that its the abuser...and not the abused...and to stay positive...even in those crappy times...to pamper one self. And to remember that you are never defined by what happened to you.

A must read...for every one.

Real Rape, Real Pain is a must have for any individual working in the allied health professions or ministry. Easteal and McOrmond-Plummer have blended the voices of real women on the journey of healing after being raped by their male partners. Between the stories which enable the reader to see how the stages of recovery occur differently with each survivor.

The last three chapters are a pure joy to read. The authors discuss reclaiming healthy sexuality, self-esteem and physical intimacy. Easteal and McOrmond-Plummer provide tips for secondary survivors, how to educate children and call churches to speak out against rape for what rape is: a sexual crime against an individual. This book is a must have for both a woman who is struggling with the aftermath of rape by her partner and those individuals who are courageous enough to sit with the woman on her journey.

Real Rape, Real Pain draws on the voices of women from across the globe to expose, demystify and provide answers to surviving partner rape. The subject of rape within relationships, a difficult and rarely talked about form of violence, is tackled head on by these authors and they triumph in their task. Personal testimonies, forming the spine of the text, make this book readily accessible by everyone from women experiencing partner rape to those providing assistance and support - counsellors and therapists included. The book's evolution, from identifying the abuse to accessing support, is thoroughly researched with excellent references and resources. Compassionate, wise and practical this book is an invaluable work that provides real answers and has the potential to create powerful change.

Though I have yet to read the entire book (it's on it's way), my story is one of the survivor stories included. This book is powerful and poingnant. It is blunt and very matter of fact. It is an inside look into partner/marital rape and cuts to the core. Not only for married survivor's of rape, but date rape or rape by any "known" assailant. Many years, and hard work went into this book for the author's and has been long awaited by all those who participated, contributed in all forms and all who are anxious to read the finished product. Those looking for answers, solace of some form...or just to know that they are NOT alone in their pain. Healing comes and this book is evidence. This book is for the survivor's, but also their families & friends, who may need to "know" or who are curious as to what we had to endure. This book is for you, the victim, right now, who needs to know you are not alone, that there is help, there is healing.
There is hope. A MUST READ.

When I leant this to our first grader's teacher I expected a little hesitance, a little procrastination. But instead I was greeted with a request to keep the book longer so she could make more notes. I've now purchased two more copies of the book to share with family and others and would highly recommend this as a resource for anyone coping with the devastating diagnosis of FASD. Extremely highly recommended.

For anyone raising a child with FASD this is the book for you! It is full of information and ways to use them. Down to earth ideas that are useful and easy to do. Great book! We even purchased one to donate to the local Library. Signed Fasdaware

As the adoptive mother of a child with FASD I have read many books on this subject looking for guidance. This is the best book I have found. First it describes the behaviors my daughter has and then gives us clearly explained ways to help us learn to manage them as well as train our daughter how to manage them. There is help for every stage of their childhood as well as help for the classroom teacher. It doesn't sugar coat the issues and say it will be easy but gives you practical ways to manage these difficult issues. I was relieved to learn my stress and exhaustion are typical for mom's who deal with this and that there is hope. This book has been an answer to my prayers!

THIS BOOK WAS VERY INFORMATIVE GUIDEBOOK TO READ AND OWN FOR LATER USE WHEN DEALING WITH AN ADOPTED CHILD WHO HAS FETAL ALCOHOL EFFECTS AND WE ARE DEALING WITH SEVERE EMOTIONAL, BEHAVIORIAL AND LEARNNG DISABILITES.

Peter is so creative! His book is captivating and interesting from cover to cover. Buy this book and you won't be disappointed. I couldn't put it down!

This is an excellent read. In fact, it is one of the best books I have ever read. I could not put it down; I read it in one sitting. By the end of the book, I felt like I knew the characters. It also made me think very hard about my own mortality. It ran the whole gamut of emotions; it is only the second book to ever make me cry. I would recommend this book to anyone, especially anyone that has been through tough situations in life.

Mr. West invites his readers along for the ride. Readers don't simply witness the emotional ups and downs during Richard's journey, they share in this emotional roller-coaster ride. And just when the reader thinks she might know the outcome, Mr. West takes her through another turn of events. A quick read, but packed full of emotion, love, loss and irony.

I really enjoyed Reluctant Journey by Peter West. It is a book that really is worth the price of admission. This book was written with alot of imagination and thought and obviously took some time to write. If this is any indication of Peter's writing abilities, the next two books in the trilogy should be terrific!

Recommended reading for young adult survivors and their therapists. Forty persons who have overcome severe childhood abuse whom today live succesfully in long term, committed relationships and hold respected positions in their career fields are the subjects of the author's research.

As a forty-eight year old womens' health professional who struggled with an abusive childhood and recently left an abusive marriage of 27 years, I found great validation and hope in this book. Ms. O'Connell Higgins protrays the resilient who successfully avoided repeating the terror of their upbringing. Yet her focus on faith and her description of "the Sea Beyond the Sirens" are invaluable supports to anyone- young or old- who has decided to rid themself of the deamons of abuse.

Finally, the descrptions the resilient and their role as "helpers" explains the activites of many who struggle to survive. They give back the fruits of their labors to others who are in need of example and assistance.

Most importantly, her work incorporates the notion that no person abused should be viewed only as a victim. The survivor status may not come to all, but is always available to those who have the desire to change.

The hope this book inspires makes it an excellent text for anyone who is involved in treating the traumatized or who is personnaly at any stage of abuse recovery.

This is one of the best books I have ever read. It moved me and inspired me. The author uses real examples of people she knows/has worked with. It is a fairly easy read and I have already suggested that it be a recommend/required reading for my Master's program courses.

Accurate, Helpful, Reassuring

"Right Behind You" has to be without a doubt one of Gail Giles' best novels. The story of a boy making a mistake that would affect him for the rest of his life. His mistake was murdering a child. Now, of course, you think, 'What a monster?!', but would you opnion change if you found out that he was a child when he murdered the other boy? Would youe opnion change if you found out that it was an accident? When you hear stories of young boys going to mental hospitals, you angry and feel as though they're getting off easy, but do you ever consider what he as a human being is going through? The inner battle that he/she has to go through for the rest of their lives? That's all answered in "Right Behind You".

This novel by Gail Giles is an excellent read for teenagers and adults alike. It captures you in so easily and you won't be able to put it down. The only problem it has is that it was too short, I just wish it could've gone on longer, it was that great! The first page and the last chapter all come together in the end and I'll definitely try to read this superb book again. I absolutely recommend this to anyone over the age of 13.

5 stars

Reviewed by Michaila Hamilton (age 17) for Reader Views (12/07)

"Right Behind You" starts off with the murder of a young boy in Alaska. Kip McFarland sets his friend on fire over a silly birthday gift: a baseball glove. The boy dies an agonizing three days later and Kip is sent to a psychiatric institution for the criminally insane. He undergoes years of therapy and is released. When he is released, all of his family has to change their names because of vigilante justice. People have burned the family's home, chased his dad out of town, and deliver horrible threats. When Kip is released from the hospital the family moves to a small town in Indiana. Soon, Kip (now called Wade) makes friends. He does great in school, has a girlfriend, and is a star swimmer on the swim team. It all comes crashing down though, when Wade spills his secret at a campfire one night.

Once again the whole family is targeted with threats. The swim team refused to swim with a child murderer, his stepmom is fired from her teaching job, and his dad is forced to leave his job. The family moves again, this time to a beach in Texas. Wade decides not to go to public school. He stays home and keeps to himself in the hopes of not hurting his family again. But, there is a girl next door with her own set of secrets. Over time, she teaches him to sail and to trust. She also learns to trust him. After she confides in him about her past, he decides that he must tell her. With the support of his family and therapist, he writes his whole life down and gives her the stacks of books. After many days, when he is preparing to move away by himself, he finds out that Sam is "Right Behind You."

The book "Right Behind You" has the reader hooked from the very beginning. The format is in short diary-like chapters, but with titles instead of dates. It flows very nicely and is easy reading. I like the fact that everything is in chronological order. The only thing I didn't care for was about Wade's homeschooling in Texas. As a home-schooled student in Texas, I know the law. There is no set amount of credits or classes needed for a home school, high school diploma. Texas does not strictly govern their home schools. Ms. Giles writes an outstanding book, and I really bonded with the characters, almost immediately. I highly recommend "Right Behind You" and look forward to reading more from this author.

Gail Giles is the queen of psychological thrillers for teens. And I know that with her last release, I stated that What Happened to Cass McBride? was my new favorite Giles book. However, I've taken the liberty of changing my mind (yes, again!) and saying that RIGHT BEHIND YOU tops even that great read.

Kip McFarland lived in Alaska with his dad. His mother had gotten sick and died. His Aunt Jemma, his mother's sister, tried to insist that Kip's dad stop living like an animal in the wilds of Alaska, and instead move somewhere proper to raise her nephew. And then he did, because nine-year-old Kip killed Bobby Clarke by setting him on fire.

In Indiana, he was Wade Madison, and he lived with his father and stepmother, Carrie. He became best friends with Dave, a teacher's son. He had a pretty hot girlfriend, Lindsey (also known as AC, for Absolutely Cutest). He was the star of the swim team. And then he couldn't take his own happiness anymore, went slightly ballistic with a group of his friends, and admitted to murdering a child. It was time to leave Indiana.

Carrie's own stepfather had died, leaving her a house in Texas. In Texas, he was still Wade, but he wasn't the Wade from Indiana. And then he met Sam, a girl with tragic secrets of her own, and life changed yet again. He didn't want to be Wade, he wanted to be Kip. But not the Kip that the newspapers had made out to be a monster, and not even the Kip who had once been Wade who was friendly and outgoing and happy-go-lucky. All he wanted was a life that allowed him to accept what he had done without dying from the guilt.

Get a copy of RIGHT BEHIND YOU. Read it and cry, and read it and think. Kip isn't a monster, but neither is he innocent. Kip is a boy who made a costly mistake, and has been paying for it ever since. This is his story, and it's an unforgettable one.

Reviewed by: Jennifer Wardrip, aka "The Genius"

This book caught me at the first page. I was pulled into a world of horrible lows and wonderful heights. Stephen is truly an amazing person for sharing his life with the world, and he is an inspiration to anyone going through the horrors of drug abuse or knows someone who is. A must-read for anybody who enjoys a heroic tale of climbing to the fullest height of potential.

The dark fog of addiction has destroyed many lives beyond repair. "Rising Above the Influence: A True Story About Alcohol, Drugs, and Recovery" is how it almost happened to author Stephen J. Della Valle. This is his story of his plummet to the very bottom of humanity, and his long climb back up to normalcy - inspiring indeed. With a message of "don't be afraid to ask for help", "Rising Above the Influence: A True Story About Alcohol, Drugs, and Recovery" is a top pick for anyone looking to get out of the fog themselves and for community library self-help collections.

Im a student at Seton Hall Un. and its finals week and I have NO time for frivolous reading of any type.When I opend the box I was commited to at least reading 6 pages with the proloage, no more. I opend it looked at the pic's in the middle "wow ,what a looser I thought.I read the ist page then the second and before I knew it the author had taken contol. I kinda felt, at that exact time, that I HAD BEEN CONNED but there was no conn at all, I did the math and made some inqueries and a GUY I know who knows another GUY said "Don't worry abbboout it!meaning "Its ALL TOO REAL" The real engien that drives the story is its air of genuinness,and realy who would lie about this kind of nightmare?.You have to read it and youll understand what everyone is begining to say.Its a must read this summer I would definatly recomend it to any one. Not just thoes who suffer with recovery isues.I was in suspence the entire time after the 1st few pages.Its a excieting as any crime novel Ive read lately. En'joooy!

A rare honest account of the author's decades long struggle with drugs and alcohol. I loved that the story was told without pandering to the readers sympathies and without all the cliche b.s. that sometimes accompanies survivor stories. A look through the eyes of the author at his worst and into his eventually recovery. Amazing and at times shocking, but always real.

This is a powerful book - one of healing. I am so sad for the little girl but so impressed and inspired by the woman she became. Dr. Macfarland is a survivor with a wonderful ability to explain the healing power of nature. There are some concepts (Jungian) which I don't quite understand but at the very least this book is a lesson in forgiveness and growth.

Ellen Macfarland has written a heartfelt book to help sufferers of all kinds of trauma. Her examples of how wolves, dolphins, trees, and more can heal are extremely helpful and poignant. She presents a way that is separate from medication and despair. It is inspiring and hopeful. Highly recommended. (I am an author of 9 books and depth psychology specialist.)

This book is filled with Grace from beginning to end. The author, Ellen MacFarland, focuses on the gifts of healing symbols in nature
and helps the reader to go beyond trauma toward a new and sacred pathway of life. The Grace in the author's writing reveals her own healing and gives much hope to the reader of reaching "The Sacred Path Beyond Trauma."

When our Soul is wounded, the Universe bestows a symbol in our consciousness to heal us and claim our full potential. This was a seminal contribution of Carl Jung's analytical psychology. However, what Jung did not emphasize and where Ellen Macfarland steps in with her unique observation is that the symbol itself is wounded and incarnates in the life of a trauma victim--not only to help the victim but also to heal itself through embodiment in the life story of the individual. As a noted Trauma therapist and a depth psychologist, a graduate of the renowned Pacifica Graduate Institute in Santa Barbara, CA, Dr. Macfarland elegantly weaves this Uroboric reciprocity between the individual and nature. Nature gifts the individual with a symbol to heal their soul wounds, and the individual in turn becomes the spokesperson for the symbol, whether it is the endangered dolphin, the deforested tree, or the abused horse. This dance between the individual and nature is the delicate Tao or balance that is essential to sustain the very survival of the human soul and the fragile planet that we inhabit. True to her mission, Dr. Macfarland now lives close to nature in Montana, where she devotes her time to researching and writing about this reciprocal relationship between individual and the symbols of nature and ways in which they need each other for mutual healing.

Dr. Macfarland explores the mysteries of the horse nation, the dolphin nation and the tree nation and how these parallel universes exist alongside our human consciousness. These parallel states of consciousness stand ready to engage us, guide us and heal us from illness to health, from trauma to mastery of our soul wounds. These symbols not only help us to survive our life traumas but usher us to our higher spiritual purpose in this life time. She introduces us to the emerging mystery of the Wolf nation and its potential to help us understand the psychology of the wounded predator. This exploration of the inner victim of the ostensible perpetrator is crucial if we are to interrupt the vicious cycle of victim/perpetrator. She has much to offer to both lay and professional readers who chose to live in harmony with the other inhabitants of this small planet and in alignment with the guidance of their own soul. This inner harmony of our connection with our soul is a mirror of the respect, compassion and harmony with which we engage other wonderful plant and animal life forms. I look forward to her future books on this crucial subject matter of the healing symbols of nature.

Reviewed by Ashok Bedi, M.D.

Ashok Bedi is a psychiatrist, a Jungian psychoanalyst, a Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association, a faculty member and a training analyst at the C.G. Jung Institute of Chicago and a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Medical College of Wisconsin in Milwaukee. He is the author of Path to the Soul (Samuel Wieser Inc. 2000), Awaken the Slumbering Goddess (Booksurge Publishers 2007) and coauthor of Retire Your Family Karma (Nicholas Hayes Inc. 2003). His presentations and publications may be previewed at his website www.pathtothesoul.com

I came across this book a couple of years ago. It is an excellent resource for improving a child's awareness towards becoming independently secure as much as possible. As Dr. Kraizer notes in this book, the only person a child can rely on ALL the time is him- or herself. The very practical method prescribed by Dr. Kraizer helps a child become more aware of potential dangers without alarming them. I highly recommend this book for any parent or teacher.

I am a social worker and am always looking for ways to help kids learn how to keep themselves safe when safe adults are not available. This book gives great tips on how to teach kids how to do just that. Parents aren't always able to be there and this book gives kids tools they need to be able to rely on themselves if/when needed. I have read this book several times since receiving it and have used the methods with my own 4 year old child as well as the foster kids I work with. The book is able to be used with kids as young as 2 on up....great book with very practical and life saving advice.

This is a great book to read. It is helpful to understand the problem that parents cause by sending conflicting signals to children. It also gives practical advice in how to teach your children to speak to stranges and others to avoid sexual abuse or abduction. It teaches you the ideas and concepts you need to better equip your children with the skills they need. Very helpful.

This is a great book with very practical advice for educating your child on how to keep safe. It provides clear ways to educate and empower without instilling fear!

Reviewed by Cherie Fisher of Reader Views (2/07)

Congratulations to Barry Goldstein for writing "Scared to Leave, Afraid to Stay," a book that gives hope to women caught in domestic violence that they can successfully leave. Goldstein, an attorney in New York who has become an expert on domestic violence issues and long time board member and past chairman of My Sisters Place, certainly has the experience and background to write this book.

The information is broken down into ten real-life case studies of heroic women who had the courage to leave their abusers and start over. The lack of support that the women received through the courts, and the quagmire of red tape that the women had to go through in custody cases, was shocking in several of the case studies. I was appalled to read in one case where a report of a father inappropriately kissing his four and six year old daughters on their vaginas was allowed unrestricted visitation. He had full sexual relations with one of the daughters on their next visit. I was also amazed at how often the abusers were allowed to get away with continued harassment. The author does show that the laws are finally getting better for protecting women, but we still have a long way to go.

Goldstein did a great job of breaking the cases studies down into sections on the history of the divorce, the divorce itself, custody issues, financial issues and many more topics. He takes a very caring approach to his cases and really goes the extra mile to ensure the women and children's safety. These stories really show that people can get away from these awful situations and find safety and happiness for them and their children.

The final chapters of the book give great advice on how to get help and find the right people to get out of a bad situation. I highly recommend "Scared to Leave, Afraid to Stay" for people suffering from domestic violence and those that are trying to help them get out of it. It may not be an easy road, but definitely worth it at the end.

From the dungeon of misery in abusive relationships, ten women and their children broke their way to the surface and found light.

The process was not easy, as Barry Goldstein, an attorney specializing in helping battered women find hope, demonstrates in this straight-talk book.

But in "Scared To Leave, Afraid To Stay" Goldstein also reveals in user-friendly legalese that behind the mountains of paperwork and lengthy court appearances, callous judges and biased experts, there are people like him who care. Mostly, in the follow-up to each case Goldstein tells how these women were able to rebuild their lives and the lives of their children. They found happiness, they found meaning, they found themselves. They found hope.

They gave their children the future that their fathers were intent on robbing.

The book also contains practical information and resources.

I recommend SCARED TO STAY, AFRAID TO LEAVE to anyone who is living the hell of abusive relationship or has a loved one that is scared to leave. I recommend the book to all others who should learn to understand the secretive dark side of love gone awry--and our society's failure to respond and treat it.

If you think you know about marital abuse the true life stories in this book will shock you. It gives the inside story of judicial crimes against abused women from an attorney with years of experience in the field, as well as sensible recommendations for reform.

Scared To Leave, Afraid To Stay is a book that shows what it is like for a woman to leave the man that is abusing her. While there are many good domestic violence books, none combine an understanding of domestic violence with knowledge of the law like this book does. I found myself caring about the women described in the book and wishing all women could have an attorney as caring as the author. This book will be popular with domestic violence victims and their advocates. I only hope some judges read it also.

An emotional and disturbing tale of scoutmasters who have deceived whole communities, the boys they've molested, the parents who were somehow oblivious until it was too late, and the scout officials who didn't understand their own policies and for years underestimated the scope of the organization's problem.

Something a previous reviewer seems to have missed, and perhaps one of the reasons these things often go unreported, is that these guys aren't always forcing themselves upon the youngsters. Sometimes the men are master manipulators who convince the boys that what they are doing is normal and that they care for them more than their own parents. This is the case with one of the main characters in this book. Of course, this isn't always the case. Sometimes they use intimidation and fear to keep the boys quiet.

In any case, years later some such boys grow up to be abusers too and there is a cycle that goes on. This is also detailed in the book.

Fortunately, the Boy Scouts have put into place new policies in recent years, probably in part thanks to this book. Basically, it is against BSA policy for adult leaders to ever be alone with a boy or sleep in the same tent with boys. Also, leaders now have to go through a criminal background check.

Unfortunately, the fixes won't stop every molester, especially when parents aren't on the ball. It's important that the parents be aware of these rules and not just always trust the leaders to be following the rules. There was one story in the book of a group of pedophiles who worked together to start a scout troop, so if you see a troop where none of the leaders are parents you should be cautious. Make sure to know who these people are.

Finally, the main character in this book was not just a boy scout leader, he was also a junior high school teacher, and many of the boys he molested were not scouts. Bottom line is that parents should in general not trust other adults to be alone with their kids and watch out for any warning signs.

I think parents and community leaders should read this book to have a better understanding of the problem.

A word of warning to the reader: this book includes graphic details of molestation and can be disturbing.

Patrick Boyle does a masterful job of illustrating how adult male homosexual pedophiles could fool whole communities of parents into thinking they had the best interests of their boys at heart while at the same time were intimidating their boys into having non-consensual sex right under the parent's noses. It's chilling to learn how the parents defended pedophile after pedophile as being "falsely accused" or "good men" while often refusing to take the boys' word that the Scout leader had coerced them into having sex. When I read the newpaper articles about how the Roman Catholic church hid their pedophile problem for years, as did the Boy Scouts, I see the same play but with different actors. If you want to get an insight into how pedophiles think, work, and act, read Scouts Honor. Don't, however, make the mistake of thinking that when the Boy Scouts got rid of their pedophiles, the pedophiles quit molesting. They are probably just "working" another youth organization using the same methods they used to infiltrate the Boy Scouts. Good book.

As a victim and scout myself, I found this book to be an investigative feet with stories from all sides. It is a must read if you want to know how so many molesters can offend the nation's most trustworthy and honest youth in the worst way.

I wish there were books like it that dicussed abuse in other organizations such as church, and sports.