Abuse Books

I've never before read a book that contains such a wide variety of experiences, writing styles and outlooks. This anthology does not shy from confronting the horrors of abusive families, as is evident from the first line in the book: "healing is my own anticolonial war." But it's also incredibly inspiring for the ways that all of these children have survived to tell such wrenching stories in complex, jarring ways. As a parent, it was difficult to get through many of the essays, but always I found an incredible burst of hope when I least expected it. As a survivor of childhood abuse, I also could see my story being told in so many different ways. Unlike most books that address childhood abuse, every story in this anthology is stylistically challenging, innovative, and carefully crafted. I highly recommend it.

Child abuse and neglect usually have lifelong impact on the children, who survive. Some are getting help along the way to find a place to put the pain they have experienced in their childhood, while others continue to live with the pain and continue to suffer their whole life.
This book is unusual, because 29 "queer persons" have decided to tell their stories and how they have survived growing up queer in families, where they have experienced abuse.
This book can be useful for both therapists working with the population of victims of child abuse, but also for adults who have experienced abuse themselves.

Profesor Joav Merrick, MD
Director, National Institute of Child Health and Human Development and Medical director(...)

I am a contributor to this volume. My piece excepted, this collection includes a wide variety of examples of abuse (physical, sexual, psychological). The writers might identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender but their stories are universal. Rather than being depressing, this book is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. I recommend it.

I didn't know what to expect from this book, but what I found was an astounding variety of amazing, refreshing, saddening, and inspiring stories by people who've really lived life and survived trauma to become so much more. The writing is raw, ambitious, wrenching and captivating. There are so many layers to each story, instead of the predictable survivor narratives that we've become accustomed to. I'm so glad I discovered this surprising gem.

This little book helps me to start each morning with simple insights which enhance each day's discoveries. I feel lucky to have found this magic book! I like it so much I often give it as a gift to others on their birthday!!

If you are looking for a way to stay sober as an alcoholic, I suggest this book, one page for each day. and the strange thing about it is, that it usually covers the problem (solution) that you are bugged on that day. It has simple and short sentences to remember throughout the day. I have read it now for 3 years and I'm still sober!!

I have used this meditation book as a recovering person since 1983 and have given it as gifts for years. This is my favorite of these type books because it is not purely Christian in its focus. There are quotes included by many diverse authors(Epicurius, Homer, Thomas Merton, Emerson, even Elizabeth Barret Browning to name but a few). It also leads one thru the twelve steps as a suggested program of action rather than a guilt obsessed "should book".

I don't think we as human beings actually recognize the power of daily reading, meditation, and reflecting. Practicing these powerful principles allows us to remain mindful of the moment and reflect upon the deeper question in our lives. To devote ourself to a daily meditation and to journal on these quiet times is priceless and will certainly aid in the evolution of our soul. For me this practice has allowed an awakening to take place and opens my life up to all the opportunities that are available in this universe. Please give this practice a try! This book will help you in your journey of living and cultivating an active consciousness in your daily life.

Richard A. Singer Jr. Author Your Daily Walk with the Great Minds of the Past and Present.

Jennifer Su has a journalism degree from the Northwest University. All stories and persons are real. However, Su is such a good author that you may enjoy DWW just like reading a novel. One critic, that she makes all Taiwanese men, count me one, look bad.

The weaving of three women's true stories was a captivating read. Each story held me riveted to the many pages until I read the last word of the book. Creating a legend of important details of each life will help the reader keep each woman's story straight.

As stated in the title, "these women seemed beyond hope," BUT.... for a power stronger than addictions and idol worship to reach down into these tangled lives...a must read!

Know that these women live. Their stories are true. The author has lived among them, getting to know them well. The book could be labeled a documentary of hope.

As someone who has been living and working in Taiwan for almost 20 years I wish this book had been written 20 years ago. It has given me a fresh understanding of the lives and struggles of many people around me. A Taiwanese Canadian friend who recently read Dead Women Walking wrote to me saying, "Reading the stories, I started relating to a lot of the social issues found in Taiwanese families." The stories related in DWW are real stories about real people, presented powerfully with often heart-wrenching honesty. Eye-opening, challenging, and highly recommended!

It's an engaging story that shows the challenges of Taiwan when the ancient meets the modern. The traditions of idol worship pervade the stories, leading to addictions, drug abuse, spousal abuse and all sorts of problems. Combine that with a modern, developing society and you have a unreached mission field. This book is well written and will challenge you to consider praying for and evening going to Taiwan. A must read!!!

Excerpt from the book:

I grew up with domestic violence and witnessed my mothers escape. As an adult, I lived with an abusive husband, leaving with my two children in 1996, our ninth departure. We first went to my sisters and slept on her floor. Through the assistance of a social service agency, I learned of a shelter but didn't think I would qualify because I wasn't visibly bruised like Mom, although I did feel her shame and worthlessness.

I remember my father kicking my mother in the stomach when she was six months pregnant. He gave her black eyes and broke her nose twice. He would beat my brother and me in front of each other and told us if we cried he would beat us more. Mom left Dad for the final time, taking her five children to Aunt Rene's where we joined a cousin and her children fleeing an abuser. Mom borrowed Aunt Rene's pistol, afraid of what Dad would do to us after his release from jail. When he came, Mom confronted him with the gun. He left, but I always wondered how our lives would have turned out if Mom had killed Dad that night.

At the time, my mothers only recourse was to live in the projects in Houston: her two sisters were married to abusive men and we couldn't stay with our grandparents because Grandpa had raped Mom as a child and she was afraid he would molest us, although he eventually did.

Without a diploma, Mom worked full-time at night and attended school full-time during the day. While my mother never sought any counseling, I had access to a shelter and its services: a court advocate to escort me to court, help in obtaining a protective order, an apartment with the anonymity required to prevent our abuser from stalking us as he always had, daycare for my children, and most importantly, help in locating psychiatric services to manage my depression and post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD), as well as much-needed counseling for my daughters and myself. I'd left my abuser so many times before and always returned because of money and fear.

After eight consecutive departures and returns, I felt my daughters didn't deserve such a pathetic mother. I wasn't there for them emotionally of financially. I felt like such a
failure. I was ready to end my life.

It took years to fully recognize my abuse. I didn't know that besides physical abuse, domestic violence includes emotional abuse, sexual abuse, isolation, using the children, economic abuse, male privilege, coercion and threats. The shelter helped me gain control over my life. With their help I went back to school and I am now a graphic designer. For the first time I feel more important than my abusers and that I have a real chance to make it.

My mothers journey from domestic violence ended with my journey. My daughters won't repeat the cycle of abuse. That is the most precious gift anyone has ever given me.

------------

am a public speaker and have addressed audiences of over 500 regarding domestic violence, incest and child abuse. I've given a multi-media presentation at The Women's Museum, Dallas City Hall including Mayor Laura Miller and spoken to law students at SMU. I've appeared on Good Morning Texas and have been interviewed by media outlets in Austin, Texas where I testified before the Texas Senate regarding domestic violence.

The book consists of several short essays followed by poetry. I designed the cover and back (excluding misguided typography) and included my artwork.

Angela Hayden
ART GODDESS
http://www.cafepress.com/angelahayden

Ms. Hayden offers an opportunity for an empathetic journey through her own trauma and in doing so, bravely displays the hope she retained and ultimately seized in her triumph over physical and sexual abuse. Readers will gain an insight into the intergenerational component of abuse only offered by such a heartfelt and nearly stream-of-consciousness account.

In her book, Ms. Hayden does what few women dare to do. She tells the truth - both in prose and in poetry imbued with a raw, emotional honesty - about domestic violence and its effects on women's minds, sexuality, and families. In a culture where women's suffering and acquiescence to exclusively male sexual gratification remain the norm both inside of the bedroom and out, Dead Wrong dares to break the `feminine' silence. It is a rallying call to women who have been and are being victimized, and a must-read for anyone who seeks to know all facets of the reality of female existence in the contemporary western world.

This book is so real, so touching. It is walking through the anguish of abuse with the author.
I almost felt the pain as she told about her childhood. By the time she began to tell about her abusive husband, anger had set in. Then I was allowed to cheer when she discovered a way out and had the courage to take it.
I hope every person who has a daughter, sister, or other loved one in an abusive relationship will read this book. It will help them understand and, hopefully, stop them from asking the question, "Why didn't she just leave?"

Although my sister had died before I read Dear Sister, Once Abused, I gained necessary insight into her challenges with childhood sexual abuse. This was the best book I could have read on this subject for my situation. There were many similarities. This book has helped me and I will pass it on to others."

As I read through the Pages of Dear Sister, Once Abused, I found myself finally understanding the reasons why my life was in such a turmoil. I understand what I have to do to heal. Now I have hope.

Victoria Lynn, psychiatric nurse, draws upon her experience and talks openly about her healing process from childhood sexual abuse. This book is a powerful resource for adults who have suffered abuse and for their families and friends. Well written and hopeful, it is about a journey that connects with human suffering and opens hearts to understanding.

If Dear Sister, Once Abused, the first book written by psychiatric nurse Victoria Lynn, were a conventional first-person account of discovery and recovery from childhood sexual abuse (CSA), sympathetic readers would expect a higher than usual quotient of self-absorption and finger-pointing.

They will be pleasantly surprised that Dear Sister's...deeply troubling story is coupled to specific information and techniques that other victims, their families and friends as well as clinicians, therapists and clergy may use to understand and deal effectively with the seemingly chronic after affects of childhood sexual abuse. Lynn also hopes that reading about the lasting damage they cause may even dissuade some perpetrators and provoke them to seek help.

Lynn tells her story in conversational language that creates the distinct impression that she's invited you into her kitchen for a confidential "straight-from-the-soul" chat - tangents and all --over a cup of coffee. Her obviously cathartic report candidly bares many excruciating details-- confounding setbacks and exhilarating breakthroughs.

Plagued all her life by serial physical and emotion maladies, Lynn's vivid "breakthrough" recollection at age 42 that she had been molested as a three-year-old sets of an obsessive quest that illustrates dramatically the life-long residual affects of childhood sexual abuse.

The details of her struggle make a compelling case for early intervention and vigilance by parents, health care providers, teachers and clergy. "That's why I wanted to write the book in the first place - to help victims and people who can help victims," she says emphatically.

"Although I had the telltale symptoms, mother admits she did not know what to look for and none of the doctors she took me to ever suggested I might have abuse trauma," Lynn writes. She notes that key telltales are eating disorders: one expert claimed "that 90 percent (or more, in his opinion) of those suffering from an eating disorder have a history of sexual abuse," she writes.

Understandably Lynn's search for "my truth, as I know it" upset those near and dear,, but, in the end, brought deeper understanding as to why relationships with her mother, father and step-father -- who took over parenting duties when Lynn was just seven-had been strained, frightening and contentious.
When her paternal grandmother finally seems to confess that Lynn's recovered memory is accurate, but that the abuser was her recently deceased grandfather, not her father as Lynn had suspected, the grandmother adds dismissively - "you can't blame a dead man." In keeping with the way people of her generation often dealt with painful issues from the past, her grandmother chides: "Why can't you just forget about something that happened so long ago?"

The confession - and subsequent loss of a close relationship with her grandmother-- propelled Lynn into another mental and physical tailspin, yet "It helped me to have my my own knowledge of what happened to me in order to continue healing," she noted.

Lynn's journey forces her to reevaluate the roots of her life-long fear of her mother, the downright cold and aloof relations with her father, who apparently would have preferred a male child to Victoria -- " His European upbringing had convinced him a son made a man manlier -- and I was his second daughter," she writes, and a somewhat checkered relationship with her step-father.

Even the breakthrough flashback presented life-threatening traumas. "It's my belief that victims can die not only of shock from abuse itself, but from the shock that almost always accompanies the breakthrough flashback as well," she said in a telephone interview. "It is not uncommon for traumatized victims to consider or attempt suicide and other self-destructive acts."

Although the book underscores that there is much a victim can and must do on his/her own, Lynn lays out specific tactics parents, spouses, children, siblings and friends can do to speed the healing process. She illustrates her points with many touching examples of how her husband and six sons coached her through set-backs and tough times.

Further, she emphasizes the importance of getting professional help, but cautions: "as is true of any therapy, the most benefit is derived if the therapist is well trained...Someone who is not well trained can cause even more trauma." Ditto the importance of using pharmaceuticals to control depression and anxiety as well as the need for gradual weaning under the supervision of trained medical personnel.

Because she interweaves her story with practical suggestions, the book is likely to become a primer for clinicians, parents, educators, victims, students and clergy. Each chapter follows this general format: chapter topic and discussion; here's what happened to me; here's how I responded; here's what you can do; here's how others can help; here are the outcomes.

Oddly, Lynn virtually ignores the impact CSA may have had on her first attempts in high school to forge romantic relationships with boys. She remembers avoiding a particularly handsome classmate "because he was so good looking, I worried he wouldn't be very reliable. As intimacy (with men) barriers continue to fall - remember God probably had a purpose in mind when he gave me a nurturing husband, and six sons to raise -- perhaps I'll have something to add in a second edition of the book."

Lynn's "everything but the kitchen sink" healing formula includes the need for spiritual/religious tools, although she hastens to add "one needn't be religious to employ spiritual resources. Meditation-"prayer is a powerful form of meditation--" can be enormously helpful, particularly in the "forgiveness" stage.

Concluding a cathartic open letter to her abuser, her dead grandfather, she writes: "I can look at your picture and see you as the handsome soldier grandma fell for. Who am I to judge? Only you and God know what went amiss for you. I feel mercy toward you-not really love-but mercy is an improvement."

Above all, Lynn's book demonstrates that she is indeed improving. She assures that with time, clinical help and support from their families and friends, so too can most victims of childhood sexual abuse. This is good news indeed!

I loved reading this book as I identified with some of the situations Marty went through. She wrote her story in an interesting style that shows her humorous way of looking at the past. Her sense of humor surely must have been a big part of her survival. "Deceptions and Betrayals" is definately five stars. In the Heartland of America

Marty's Book, "Deceptions and Betrayals" is about a girl trapped in a dysfunctional family discovering that her survival skills keep her going, but also lock her into a state of unhappiness. She discovers that she must take responsibility for her own happiness and escape from the madness of betrayals and deceptions. She escapes from her co-dependent status to one of responsibility for herself and her happiness. She experiences a wonderful bliss by being away from it all...and unhooking from the craziness...that causes many of us to be ill...and eventually suffer major health issues.
Hooray for Marty!
Good reading for everyone who wants to be healthy.
Conrad I. Villella
President,
Highpoint Cancer Information Center, Inc.
[...]

As someone who knows Marty, and her husband, and her in-laws personally, it was hysterical the way she was able to describe everyone, and the events, so accurately. The story was so good, we couldn't put it down. I say "Bravo!" and give her five stars!

Despite the title of this brief memoir, the story of Marty Wurtz's life is more a story of triumph--so much so that she might have titled the book Deceptions, Betrayals, and Triumphs. While Wurtz glosses over a lot of material in the course of this 50-year review of key events in her life, her ability to overcome the chief "deceptions and betrayals" is the glue that holds everything together in this encouraging narrative.

Wurtz has had a lot to triumph over: a selfish and controlling father, an abusive first husband, and manipulative in-laws in her second marriage (although her husband this time was, as Wurtz puts it, "her prince"). Throughout, Wurtz fashions a narrative that resonates with the endurance of one individual over adversity.

More remarkable is Wurtz's ability to do what only a handful of writers have attempted, and at which fewer have succeeded: to write engagingly about oneself in the third person. Charles Dickens accomplished as much in David Copperfield and Great Expectations, as did Laura Ingalls Wilder in her Little House books. What makes this feat so hard to achieve is the difficulty in gaining the distance from one's own experience required to write in a point of view that is so predominantly objective. The level of accomplishment in Deceptions and Betrayals is such that one does not realize, at first, that one is even reading a memoir.

Best of all, Deceptions and Betrayals does have the obligatory happily-ever-after ending, and because Wurtz writes with such skill about the trials she has had to overcome, we end up feeling as if our own problems seem a little less, while our own ability to face them seems a little more. This, perhaps, is why the "triumph-over-adverse-circumstances" theme, from David Copperfield to Little House, to Angela's Ashes and beyond, continues to attract such talent, and such appeal.

This book is not only an enjoyable read, but also a self-help book to make us realize we can rise above bad situations. It is wonderful to see Amber's life unfold and see her become the wonderful woman she truly is. I would recommend this book.

After reading this remarkable I story, i found myself questioning my life. The story revolves around this woman who lost herself and in the process of finding who she once was, she discovered a whole new woman. Change is possible for anyone and that really is what this book taught me. The different characters seemed to be real and alive and I just felt like they were people I knew somewhere, people that I connected with or will connect with at some point. The different morals and lessons that were brought out in the various characters were accurate and true. Its a real life book in a real life world with real life people. Everyone can take something away from this book and that is why I love it and recommend it to everyone! Its not a self-help book more of an self-awareness book!

Deciphering Amber is a wonderful read!! It was an amazing book that weaves a story of very resourceful women with a little self-help information interspersed throughout. A very easy, enlightening read that makes you feel you can do anything you set your mind to. Would definately recommend this book!

Deciphering Amber

If you are looking for practical life skills, you will find them in this touching and illuminiating story. It is rare to find a fictional story that is revelant and helpful to the lives of ordinary people. It revolves around the disappearance of a young woman and how it changes her life and the lives of her family and friends. The main character, Amber, has lost her memory by a blow to her head but manages to free herself from an abductor and get medical help. Authorities botch up any attemps to locate someone to recognize her by missprinting her age in the newspaper as 12 instead of 21.

The story tells of the process that Amber took to become independant and get her life back on track. It tells the reader of her courage and hard work, and how the friendship of Cora enables her to return to life outside the shelter center.
Amber's process of healing includes joining a womens' group. Each week they read passages from many books of interest. Ms. Dickinson, the author, teaches us, without preaching, that with a belief in oneself, and along with perseverance and friendships, a person can lift themselves up and climb out of bad situations; by looking forward and setting goals it is possible to achieve our desires. She also accepts that bad things happen, like the abduction and that some marriages cannot be saved. We learn that it is important to make peace with your parents today because tomorrow may be too late. We learn that when you help others it comes back to you in ways you would not expect. By planting a garden you can enrich your life through the simple act of seeing its beauty on a daily basis--little things matter.

The gift of this book to any young woman can make a positive difference by teaching her to value herself.

If you are in law enforcement this book should do more for you than kindle rage. It's background information shows that the war on drugs was based on loosely proven propaganda which has been far out dated now. This war that we spend so much of our money on, like other wars our current administration is involving us in, is shown to be basically useless. Desperado should do more for a person than piss them off, it's shows what's wrong with the system we have in place and is meant to motivate people to push for a change in our system. If only we hadn't already conformed to what society holds true certain drugs would be decriminalized today. Let's face it, the best way to put a dealer out of business is take over his business. Not only would it save money, but it would ensure a quality safeness to the drugs we have roaming the streets today. In short, let this be a guide for future change. All it takes is one person to see the light and stand up for a cause, no matter how comfortable they are with their lifestyle already.

As a current federal "narc" and former "border rat" (9 years on the US/Mexico border in California), I feel that Shannon did an excellent job portraying the past drug problems in Mexico. Guess what? We did not solve them then and the problem is worse now. Customs Commisioner Von Raab and DEA Administrator Lawn were very outspoken on the issue of the kidnapping of Enrique "Kiki" Camarena. Of course, that was before the days of "political correctness". America still refuses to decertify Mexico due to their unwillingness to truly combat drugs and continued reputation of graft and corruption. Having met and worked with many mentioned in DESPERADOS, I have utmost respect for those who indeed fought the drug war. Elaine Shannon's DESPERADOS is worth the time to read and is a must for the drug agent's home or office library.

This book should be read by all law enforcement oficers who enforce drug laws. Will enlighten and enrage at the same time, I would recomend it as reading for all law enforcement who work along the US/mex border or any city plagued by narcotics.

Events in this book revolve around the kidnapping and murder of DEA agent Enrique Camarena in Guadalajara, Mexico in 1985. It is not only the story of how this came to pass, but an examination of US drug policy in the '70s and '80s, and reveals the flimsiness of Reagan's "war on drugs." The reader will be outraged by the manner in which political considerations took precedence over the apprehension of the killers of an American agent. Despite my outrage at what I read, the book is gripping and an excellent piece of documentary work. An excellent case study of the investigation into the Sinaloa cartel.

I was intimately involved with the Locnikars for the second part of the book, and found the first part a little hard to believe, until I spoke with a friend who was at the party with Moe on the roof with the Ak47. She confirmed the mound of coke in the closet and more, this was before she read te book!. I thought it was just made up to sell books, it was reality.

Doc left out ALOT in the second half, mostly for fear of getting sued I am guessing. There were even more sad and funny stories that could have been told. I am sure he left some things out to spare certain people allot of shame. I glad he didn't include anything on me. I personally witnessed the morning after the part about the all-consuming paranoia with the ripping apart of the house, it was truly amazing on one hand and also a little scary that a man could do that much damage in one night.

There is definitely enough material here for a movie, but I think that would need to glamorize the badness and the madness too much to fit with Doc's sense of wanting to help others stay out of this dangerous territory.

All in all a very interesting read, you will most likely read it in one sitting. It isn't as funny as it could have been, but I guess that wasn't the point.

If I didn't know this was a true story I would think this is the new fictional HBO series,about rampant drug use and addiction in the "doctor world" instead of the "underworld". Dr. Locnikar had demons to conquer that to the reader appeared to be beyond hope. I couldn't stop reading and even after many months since I've read it, I think about it...especially the last paragraph!

"Doctor Hyde" provides an inside view of a drug addict's thought processes in a surreal world which exists in our own neighborhoods even though we ignore the very thought that we live among such travesty.

It is a shocking reality-check that makes one wonder why and how this can happen to the average individual and yet this is a real-life account of an invincible plastic surgeon who falls victim to an addiction that drives him to near-death and eventual resurrection.

Riveting and disheartening, you will cling to the book with hope and prayer this once-defiant character finds the strength to free himself from the clutches of narcotics. You will leave the book with the fear your children will never follow the same path to hell.

A must read for a look inside America's greatest problem...drug addiction.

Dr. Locnikar, "May God be with you" in your daily struggles.

I was saddened to read about what has happened to doc. I will always admire him as a person and consider him a friend. I wish him all the best that life has to offer and hope he finds happiness.

He was the best surgeon and I will never find another I respect or trust more.

sincerely
J. Mills

This is exquistitely written and flawlessly researched. I could not put it down. The bibliography is itself a fascinating read. In the secular world, such evidence as this would provide the foundation stone of a class action suit that would put a stake through the heart of the subject. This is a beautiful covering over dark matter.

Excellent book. Ranan's exhaustive history and analysis of the inner workings and policy making of the Catholic Church is both insightful and a thrilling read. The amount of research and materials reviewed is stunning but the author escaped the danger of writing a dry story. Quite the opposite, once you have started, you will turn pages until you reach the end. If you liked the D'Avinci Code, you will love this book -- but end up smarter.

Written by political scientist David Ranan, Double Cross: The Code of the Catholic Church is a severe indictment of the many flaws, moral lapses, and outright crimes of the Catholic Church, ranging from parish sexual abuse scandals to complicity in genocide. Covering the Church's perpetration of human misery from pre-medieval times to the Crusades to its tacit cooperation with the Holocaust and its ills of the modern Day, Double Cross examines how the Church has structured its power base, policed thought among its members, engendered corruption, fostered violence particularly against non-Catholics, espoused anti-Semitism, and perhaps worst of all among modern-day offenses, denounced nearly all forms of family planning as well as condom use, thereby causing overpopulation and assisting the spread of AIDS particularly in the poorest nations that can least afford either. Extensively researched with numerous notes to clarify details and an index, Double Cross is a "must-read" for anyone involved in or affected by the Catholic Church, both Catholics and non-Catholics alike.

I have just finished David Ranan's "Double Cross, the Code of the Catholic Church", an insightful analysis of the Church's history in which he unravels the whole Catholic power-play. It is quite outspoken, yet factual and not emotional. Ranan, who writes with biting eloquence, has produced a book, the pace of which is breathtaking, and which reads like a super-thriller.

I have personal knowledge of some of the damage caused by the Catholic Church to its own members and therefore consider that this book does a great public service.
The book should be read not only by those who will agree with the author, but importantly by Catholics.

Catholic priests and bishops! Read David Ranan to better understand your Church, even if - and really especially if - some of the facts will fill you with horror when they sink in.