Abuse Books

The author doesn't like to use the word "bully", she likes to use the term "abrasive". I can think of other choice words that Amazon won't print. This book is a must have if you feel oppressed, harassed, threatened, bullied, etc. at work. I've read all of the "bully" books out there and I find this very helpful for front-line employees and for CEOs, but read it in conjunction with Robert Sutton's "The No (expletive) Rule". I can't write the title or Amazon will delete my review. "Taming" answers three main questions not covered in any other book. 1.What is wrong with bullies? Why do they do what they do? 2.Why doesn't management ever do anything that really makes them stop and why don't they get rid of bullies if they know that they cause so much trouble in the workplace? 3. What can I do about my bully? What can I expect if I report him to HR? If I sue? If I get a bunch of my co-workers to file a group complaint to HR? If I just tell my bully to please treat me with respect? (Haha!)

This author has seen the repurcussions of various "solutions" that bullied employees have tried, some which management says they want you to do, but will get you fired and others that management doesn't want you to know about that may work if you have the money and backbone to implement them. Doesn't management know anything about the abusive, abrasive bully's behavior? (Yes.) Why don't they do anything? (Read the book and find out!) When upper management finally acknowledges that there is a problem that may lead to a harassment lawsuit or public embarassment, that's when they call in the author, also known as "The Boss Whisperer" to get the abrasive manager to understand that his abusive behavior is wreaking havoc on the employees, damaging the company's bottom line, hurting the company's reputation as a great place to work, hurting his own reputation and that it's in his own best interest to get with the program and treat others with civility by undergoing extensive counseling--or else. That's the key. The threat of what the "or else" might be to the abrasive manager. The author believes that these abrasive managers are really just humans who were probably abused as children and have never been taught empathy. I guess that's where she and I part ways. I don't think she's been on the receiving end of the likes of my bully. She's interviewed and counseled many a bully, but I don't think she's been in the position of being a financial hostage to someone that powerful. Bullies are cold, calculating, manipulative and use rage as a tool for thier own self-gratification. They learn to "fake" empathy when it suits their purposes toward someone in power who has whatever they need at the time. Other than that one particular statement about abusers not being taught empathy as children, I'll go with the entire rest of the book. It really is a must read, above and beyond any other self-help books for bullying, with the exception of Robert Sutton's book.

This made so much sense in terms of the behavior traits. I had an abrasive boss, all I did at that time was cry, no one gave feedback and no one knew how to deal with her. Hope she gets a chance to read this book and change her ways! Great Book.

This is the best book I've read about the steps that leaders, facilitators, and consultants can take to deal with nasty and demeaning managers. I especially like how Crashaw uses specific examples of the kinds of language that these bullies use, and presents samples of conversations to illustrate the most effective way to "tame" these destructive jerks.

Robert Sutton
[...

Dr. Crawshaw gives a powerful overview of what most workers have experienced at least once in their career. The concise descriptions of what is going on in these a-holes minds gives powerful tools to deal with these types of managers. Easy to read, informative and entertaining. Highly recommended.

Having worked as a human resource professional in an international corporation for over a decade, I was immensely impressed by this book. Crawshaw tells you exactly how to intervene with abrasive bosses from the management perspective - how to confront them and curb their behavior without getting dragged into endless defensive debates. The book is very easy to read and her approach is extremely effective. Crawshaw takes a difficult subject and gives us hope that we can "tame" these managers sensitively and professionally by following her realistic, practical, and insightful advice. This book should be required reading for all HR types and people who end up managing abrasive managers.

Judy Hochberg, PhD, MBA

This is the amazing story of Susie and Paul Luchsinger. I highly recommend this book to anyone, especially those who have endured abuse.
They tell their story, holding nothing back, about what went on, and then how the Lord helped save their marriage.
A MUST READ! Also check out her official site....

I really enjoyed this book. I loved the relatonships that were shared in the book.Paul and Susie worked through some difficult times and came through with flying colors.

This book is a God send to many. I pray any couple who's marraige is in trouble, are you just plain love these guys will read this book. I have cryed, laughed and even gotten mad, but all in all this book is WONDERFUL. Thank you so much to Paul and Susie for the time they spent at Brushy Creek Baptist Church in Taylors,SC. You Friend in Christ, Lynda Benden

Susie and Paul have done a wonderful job on the book. This book tells about a marriage that some people would have given up on, but Paul and Susie couldn't. I plan to be married soon and now understand more about beening married and talking to my soon to be husband. I also enjoy learning about Susie and Paul. This book is for any one who want to be married or is married.

I think Susie and Paul did a fabulous job writing their life story in this book. They were both very honest and straight forward. You gain a lot of insight from this book and from their experiences as well as learn more about them and what makes them who they are. This book makes you laugh, cry, think, etc , etc. You experience many emotions while reading it. This book also helps you to look at your own life. It lets those that have had similar situations know that they are not alone. I think it is a must read book and I highly recommend it to everyone. I personally have read the book more than once and I get something new out of it every time I read it.

Thaw is a remarkable read with rich characters and a fascinating story line. Roe draws the reader in from the first paragraph and keeps you engaged with her strong writing, unique story, and a flash-back technique that works extraordinarily well.

Roe weaves together the voice of the protagonist and the emotions of the other characters in a compelling, satisfying manner that leaves you loving, hating and at times, holding your breath. Thaw is a story of revelation and redemption. And Roe has created one of the most satisfying endings I've read in a long time. The stories and the characters in this book will stay with you long after you finish reading.

I highly recommend Thaw to anyone who loves a great read!

A compassionate, realistic look at a teenager struggling not only with a paralyzing disease but also with character faults which cause him to treat all those around him with disdain. This attitude causes him to loose his girlfriend just when he needs her the most. Only as his hardened heart starts to thaw is he able to appreciate his physical therapists as well as those who loved him enough to support him in spite of his cavalier attitude.
His controlling, domineering father is accustomed to his son excelling in academics as well as in sports (Dane is a champion skier). Dane's disease brings to light the dysfunctional aspects of his family and the chaos which results. This is a multi-faceted book which will appeal to young adults as well as giving adults a glimpse into the adolescent mind. Additionally, its medical aspects are interesting and educational.

This book is a great read. I cannot believe this is her first novel. Her characters are so rich and full of life. I could not put the book down. Roe created a great level of suspense that made me want turn page after page to see what happens next. The word choice paints a beautiful picture and weaves a terrific plot. This book is a great choice for anyone and everyone!

This book is incredible. The author has brought the main character to life in a such a way that you develop strong emotional feelings for him while he's dealing with his disease. You start off hating Dane and his egotism, superiority and arrogance, and slowly grow to feel sorry for his situation and family life and then gradually begin to understand and grow fond of the person he becomes. The author did an incredible job of bringing to life the characters and the understanding of the disease in this book. While I am much older than the recommended age for this book, I would strongly recommend it for ALL ages! Incredible book. Incredible and believeable author.

I had the privilege of reading this book in manuscript form, and I'm looking forward to reading it again. Even as a boring thirty year old, I found it a really fun read and it sparked an interest in the work that physical therapists do. I also found the medical aspects of the story very interesting. It is very well written and thoughtful. I plan to buy a copy for my 14 year old brother in law as well. It's a compelling book, equally interesting for boys and girls, though perhaps a bit more morally useful for boys. The writer's approach toward the brutal years of teenagedom is raw, authentic and viable. I was easily drawn in!

This book's conversational style drew me in from the first sentence. The author really "got" the stifling atmosphere of the 1950's and what it was like to be a teenager then. I found I really cared about Bunny as I accompanied her on her self-discovery journey. Along the way, I learned much I never knew about adoption, especially in reference to the Native American community, as I enjoyed a story well told by Mary Anderson Parks.

I was personally drawn to this story as an adoptee-and once I'd read the first chapter I tore thru the book.
Ms Anderson Parks goes deeply into the heart and mind of a young native american adoptee with such honestly and strength that you feel (or at least I did) that you are living this girls life-which the experience that I always want from a good book. To be sucked in to a new world and emotionally changed-which is what this book did for me.

This is an intriguing book about a young girl adopted in the early 1950s at a time when children from Native American backgrounds were adopted by white families.
It gives a fascinating window into a world that many of us have no knowledge of - how it might feel to not know one's lineage. It is Bunny's struggle to find her roots and also an identity that makes sense for her. I felt a strong connection with this story and the author is writing from a real understanding of these sort of situations. I enjoyed reading the book right through to the end and was not disappointed in the ending - It left me with a desire to know more about this new chapter of her life that comes into focus only in the last few pages. Highly recommended

This is a heartrending story about an adopted girl who tries to find her lost identity in an era when society withheld information about birth parents. Set in beat era San Francisco, it is also a sexual and intellectual coming of age novel that follows dark-skinned "Bunny"--the protagonist's name given her by her Caucasian adoptive parents--from childhood to young adulthood. Bunny's conventional parents have little empathy with their adopted daughter's quest to know her past. Mary Parks employs a voice perfectly suited to her characters and the times, which is often politically incorrect yet accurate. Bunny's close relationship with her artist girlfriend, Cork, portrays the social friction between upper and lower middle class milieus and contemporary issues of female sexuality and pregnancy, and their consequences for women. Parks creates great dramatic tension surrounding Bunny's struggles with the adoption agency that withholds the documents containing the secrets to Bunny's past, and also by the use of the protagonist's repressed memory that gradually surfaces. Where a less courageous character might have given up, and despite a deep-set insecurity, Bunny has the desire and tenacity to persist in her efforts to unlock her past.

This story will be a compelling ride not only for Native Americans who were adopted, but for all children and parents who have struggled with the complex emotions and problems of adoption.

I enjoyed this book immensely because it carved out a whole new world for me to see - the world of adoption and its effects on children,teenagers, and parents. The colorful setting of San Francisco in the 1950s and the social issues of the time are a wonderful backdrop to the relationship problems of regular, everyday families where one child of a different race has been adopted. The chararacters are genuine, well and deeply crafted, and the details of daily life make vivid and sensory pictures. It's a real page-turner with twists and turns to keep things interesting. I think everyone can relate to its issues of identity in a very personal and profound way. This story stays with you and gives you warm feelings inside...

Martha Wakenshaw is a rebel among psychologists. She believes in the healing power of love, of simple human decency & natural bonds.

As a Children's Advocate for a rural Domestic Violence Prevention Program for several years, I learnt about the power of play & art therapy. Indeed, I recommended many of the Children for whom I spoke, to such a therapy, & I was impressed both by the process & the results.

Here you will meet the Therapist, who has opened her identity so you will feel as if you are inside her head, discovering her philosophies & her therapeutic skills, her naivete & confusion...& her endurance & courage.

THIS CHILD OF MINE is moving, interesting & enlightening.

A must for anyone working with traumatized children & their therapists.

Martha Wakenshaw's book offers an honest,well written commentary on our society's failure to love and care for our children. She takes us deep into the pain and frustration of child therapy, but she does more than just that - she shows us the human side of an often impersonal, objective profession. Wakenshaw wants us to see the pain, both personally and professionally, and thereby to wake us up and make us see ourselves and our society in a new way. This book hits all the senses and indirectly calls us to act on behalf of our children - to love and care for our children. Read this book.

Be prepared for some of the most horrific stories of situations that some children live through. Martha Wakenshaw is a professional therapist who has dealt extensively with children from some of the most frightening family situations that you can imagine. As you read this book you will be transported to some of the most horrific situations that a child could live through. Be prepared to cry for the child and for the therapist as she deals with a child welfare system that seems to have very little interest in a child's welfare and insurance companies that think a lifetime of abuse can be resolved in ten weeks. Feel the pain of the children, feel the pain and love of the therapist, feel the frustration as both try to work through their difficulties. "This child of mine" shows Martha Wakenshaw's committment to the children brought to her for healing. It is not another child with another problem, they are real children which she accepts as if they were her own child.

If you are even remotely considering working with hurt or abused children in a theraputic setting then you owe it to yourself to read this book. An eye opening account of what goes on in the life of a caring and compassionate therapist it is an emotional roller coaster of a read.

Ms. Wakenshaw has given of herself to the children and families as well as to the readers of this book. She does not gloss over details that are traumatic and real nor does she exploit them. This poignant glimpse into the life a therapist working with traumatized children is not easy to read but I believe is essential to anyone considering working with children. Ms. Wakenshaw opens her heart to us as she did to the children, sometimes to her own detriment. You will feel what she felt and see through her eyes as she desperately tries to save fragile little lives. You may get new insights into the laws and policies surrounding the protection of children and families. Ms. Wakenshaw uses poetic imagery to describe what she was going through in a way that is real and moving. You will never forget this book.

Four-year-old Jackson witnessed the attempted murder of his mother. He ran to call the emergency number like the medics at his pre-school had said -- but the phone was dead. He was found in the back yard, clawing the fence, splinters were under his nails. Martha Wakenshaw, a psychotherapist specializing in play and expressive arts therapy with children, took this youngster who told her that "If you really want to kill someone, all you gotta do is punch them in the heart", and helped him to once again become a child who could laugh, play, share, and be at peace. This Child Of Mine: A Therapist's Journey is a personal (as opposed to a coldly clinical) account, not about sensationalized child abuse, but about the healing relationship between therapist and child -- and how it works or fails despite all efforts. Wakenshaw describes her sessions with Bailey (who has to kill the Bad Guy); Candace (who loves cats and wants a new home); Raymond (beaten but loves to play); and many more. Here revealed is the pain of failure, the frustrations with "the system"; and the transcendent joy arising from the resilience of the tiniest human spirits -- children who evoke the child and the parent in all of us. This Child Of Mine is strongly recommended reading for anyone considering psychotherapeutic work with children of any age, circumstance, or background.

Nancy Alcorn is a great author. The material presented in this book was easy to understand and applicable to overcoming any addiction. This book provides helpful steps to implement that truly bring freedom and restoration. I highly recommend all four of the Mercy For... book series written by Nancy Alcorn.

This is another great book in the "Mercy for" series. Nancy Alcorn has a straightforward way of presenting God's hope, love, and His word that can help anyone desiring help to break free from addictions. You do not have to be in recovery, you can find freedom! This book provides great tools and inspiration to help people finally break away from addictions!

Nancy does an excellent job of exposing the false hoods that keep a person in bondage to a particular addiction. This book helps usher a person out of a victim menatlity and into a victor mentality. It will confront the issue and help you take personal responsibility, but manages to have a flavor of empathy so the reader does not feel guilty or condemmed about their struggle. If you want help and are WILLING to change then this book is for you!

Nancy Alcorn does an amazing job creating a practical resource for anyone who is or knows someone struggling with addiction. Founded on the life-changing principles of God, here is a book that offers a lasting solution for those seeking true freedom. This book was written for anyone - very easy to read and divided into simple sections that make for easy referencing. Outside of being a ministry leader, Nancy Alcorn has definitely established herself as the author of excellent resources.

I would recommend this book by Nancy Alcorn as well as her other books. Nancy has a way of just laying it out there so anyone can understand. Having had addictions to cigarettes in the past, this book made me realize what's at the heart of addictions as well as helped me realize the areas of my life I still need to work on. Definitely a great book to read for yourself or someone you know who may be going through the same things.

Excellent book on source and cause of addiction. Easy to understand and very helpful in knowing the whys of addiction. Points the way to recovery.

Not only is this book give good information on the subject of addiction but abuse and child development as well. It re-defines addiction as a means to cope with trauma and traumatic childhood. This is a must read for anybody in the mental-health care related field or anyone with addiction.

Tian Dayton has written a very powerful and insightful book on Trauma and Addiction,as they seem to go hand in hand. After reading this book I see the truth about my life and that I did not grow up in a Leave It To Beaver family. Many patterns and behaviors in my family were right on the pages of the book, so reading this has uncovered memories that have been deeply buried for a long time. This book illustrates the healing power of psychodrama and therapy, offering the reader hope and ways for breaking the cycle of pain. It takes a lot of work and courage to go back and acknowledge some of the pains of our past but its worth the freedom from the nightmares that continually haunt us causing repeated pain in our present relationships with others and ourselves. I highly recommend this book if your doing inner work and are ready to look, see and grow forward.

I read this book thinking it was just going to be another book regarding addictions and rehab centers, etc. But after the first chapter "the connection between Trauma and addiction" I understood why it is so difficult for others to let go of their main addiction which sometimes is drugs sometimes food, sometimes shopping.
When I continued reading the book it makes it clear on how the family support and codependency can either help you or push you deeper into the claws of the addiction.
Also it explains clearly the issue of "body memories" that most of the addictive personalities have.
If you have a family member who has problem with an addiction or consider yourself an addict, before reading any other book or taking any step toward rehabilitation, please read this one, it will change your way of seeing the problem and help you see the solution.

Tian Dayton's book is a long overdue treatise on the results of trauma on the human psyche written for the average reader with good science behind it. Her book is different from other self help books in that it appeals both to the emotions (needed for change) and the intellect. Often on the journey to personal growth we forget one or the other. Dayton has not forgotten their importance. Judith S. Lavendar, MA

I am currently in therapy and this book has been a God send! It has made my experiences in therapy much more meaningful. Also has made my therapy process easier to handle during all those difficult times. Great book to have if you currently going through your own CSA therapy!

Although this book is written for therapists and analysts -- not their clients -- I found it invaluable. Reading it as an accompaniment to my ongoing therapy helped me to listen better to myself and to my therapist, and to understand the many obscure and puzzling episodes and interactions that were taking place during sessions and outside of them. The authors are clearly experts in their field. Their book contextualized and provided insight into both my own history of childhood sexual abuse and the twists and turns of the therapeutic process in general. Despite its sometimes highly technical language for which I had to consult a dictionary, this book is the most focused and helpful work on the subject that I have read. I'm very grateful to its authors for writing it and recommend it without reservation.

As a psychology intern from a psychodynamic background working with numerous childhood sexual abuse (CSA) survivors, I found this book extremely helpful and inspiring. The conceptualizations about working with CSA survivors and the integration with trauma research are solid and insightful. The case material is effective in clarifying the concepts and bringing to life the importance of this healing process and the meaning to be found in it. In addition, I found the broader perspective on modern, relational psychoanalytic psychotherapy clear and rich. It helped reconnect me with the value of this approach and with the complexity of the therapeutic interaction.

I imagine this book would be too technical for most therapy clients/patients as it was a demanding, dense read for me after several years of coursework and experience, but who am I to say?

Excellent book.Every worker in mental health should read it.It offers a deep, wise and well informed psychoanalytic approach to the issue of abuse. I feel I'm a better person and psychoanalyst after reading it.

As a therapist who works with survivors of childhood sexual abuse, I am always searching for books which provide new perspectives and formulations on the topic of sexual abuse. The book by Jody Messler Davies & Mary Gail Frawley provided a cogent argument for the importance of a psychoanalytically informed framework in treating adult survivors. The authors do an excellent analysis of the bodies of literature from the fields of psychoanalytic thought and trauma based research/therapy. The reader is then shown perhaps previously unnoticed connections between the two bodies of literature. There are numerous case examples throughout the book to illustrate the various concepts that are discussed.

I gave this book five stars, because any book which causes an individual to reexamine their theoretical orientation/mode of conducting therapy, should definitely be sitting on their bookshelf at home.

If you have ever wondererd what it is like to be an addict, THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU !!! I have been in recovery for 15 years and was in active addiction for 28 years. This author somehow found the courage to re-live and put down on paper the hopelessness and horrors that ONLY an addict knows. It is not for someone new to recovery by any means! Buy it, give it to someone who does not understand but wants to !!

This is the most accurate portrayal of drug addiction I have ever read! It's a must-read for anyone wanting to understand the world of addiction.

Rivals Stephen King, only this guy's tale is true. Fast-paced and exciting. Excellently written. A frightening portrayal of drug addiction, just how low a person gets, and what it does to families, friends, loves. Put it on your Must-Read list. . . .

This was an amazing book. Filled with true life (very real) experiences. I could feel his pain, his struggles and his relapses. The further I read into the book, the harder it was to put it down. A "must" read for families of addicts for a clear understanding of the struggle.

This is by far, the most accurate account of drug addiction I have ever read. It shows to just what depths drugs can bring one, and how hard the road to recovery is.

Information is power, and this book provides the reader with an incredible amount information. I was stunned to learn the depth of manipulation and deceit that a child molester uses on victims, family members, friends and community. After reading this book I know that as my 2 year old daughter grows up she will be much safer because of what I have learned. I agree with the review that said the "grooming behaviors" section of this book is especially important reading for any parent.

It seems that no one wants to talk about child molestation... it's an unpleasant subject that most folks prefer to just ignore (unfortunately until confronted directly with it). In this country we emphasize "stranger danger" but the fact is that 9 out of 10 children will be molested by a family member or a trusted family friend. It's not that uncommon to hear people say that child molesters should be imprisoned for life, or even get the death penalty... that is until they find out the molester is someone in their family or a valued community member. Then the denial and excuses start to kick in. How can we, as parents, place the fate and precious hearts of our children in the hands of denial and excuses simple because WE feel uncomfortable with a subject? I, for one, refuse to do that. If you have children you must wake up and look at the facts. Only honesty, information, directness and diligence can prevent our children from being victims of this horrible crime. In this book you will learn that, and then will learn the skills you need to address this issue under any circumstance - - whether you have been abused, know someone who is an abuser, want to prevent it from happening in the first place ,or if need to recover from it. Please make it part of your job as a mother to become informed.

Also, my sincerest thank you to Eric Leberg for writing this book. By writing this book I know in my heart that you have saved many more children than you will ever know. THANK YOU.

Eric Leberg's book was my first glimpse into the personality of the offender. So many books are written about the victims but few books are written for the lay person. Those of us that are healing from the hurts of child molestation need a book like this to help us understand the perpetrator and their patterns of deception. I applaud Mr. Leberg for this work and thank him for sharing his information with us.

Better question is...WHO NEEDS TO READ A BOOK ON CHILD MOLESTERS? The answer is...EVERYBODY! As a mental health counselor, this book provided me new knowledge in the area of child molesters. Since Eric Leberg has been a Department of Corrections Officer (probation officer) for over 25 years, he brings a wealth of knowledge from his personal experience in working with this population of offenders. Not only did I find it of benefit as a clinician, but so have my clients who have been sexually molested. One of the most valuable parts of this book is the detailed description of "grooming behaviors" used by perpetrators. It is because of this chapter that I believe most everyone would benefit in reading this book--especially parents. Molesters are such cons and manipulators. So, how do you know who to trust? Through Mr. Leberg's book, you will have the opportunity to learn of their behaviors which might enable you to recognize a molester and save a child from being harmed. While this book seems depressing in nature, I think Mr. Leberg did an excellent job of adding humor and relaying the stories in such a way that the book is actually entertaining. For all of you who like NYPD Blue, Law and Order, and other shows about criminal justice, you're bound to find this book engaging! Afterall, the cases reported in this book are real life stories!Take advantage of this unique opportunity to learn from an expert on child molesters!

Everyone who works with or has ever come in contact with a child molester(s) could benefit from reading this book. Take it from an adult survivor who has gone through and come out the other side -- what Leberg says about the molester is true! They are very skilled at what they do - they are wired differently - children are their 'drug' of choice, and they will do anything in their power to get and keep what they want and need.

I am a parent of a child who was molested for over 5 years by a family "friend". When I finally discovered the abuse, the wheels of justice began turning. I needed some kind of anchor in my life so that I could, first and foremost, help my child, then maintain the family structure and finally, make some sense out of the system my child and I were suddenly thrown into. Manuevering through courtrooms, hearings - just the whole legal system - is like being thrust into a foreign country where you don't know the language. Eric Leberg's book gives you a means by which you can wade through this confusing maze of terminology and procedure. It gives a parent the tools (namely the language) to deal with attorneys because the attorney who is prosecuting the offender is NOT your child's representative. S/he represents the state, and your child's welfare can become lost very easily in this process.

Leberg's book reveals the mindframe of a molester. I kept (keep) beating myself up for "not seeing the signs." But Leberg helps parents see that the offender is VERY GOOD at what he does. In fact, as good as you think you are in protecting your child, he explains that offenders are EVEN BETTER at getting to them! If you are someone who, when faced with a crisis, needs to educate and inform themselves in order to better deal with that crisis, then I highly recommend Eric Leberg's book. He's been in this "business" a long time and has used his experience and knowledge to write an excellent book.