Abuse Books

I bought this book to give to my husband. I was floored by how insightful it was. It was like someone followed me for a week and wrote a book on my behavior. It made me feel 100% better to know I'm not alone, there are reasons for some of my wacky behavior and there's hope to work through it.

I found this book to be the ultimate companion in my journey to understanding the impact of alcoholism on a child and how that is carried into adult hood. It has allowed me to become a more supportive partner and assisted in the emotional management of our relationship.

I have a whole shelf full of literature about alcoholism, addiction and recovery. This book by the Beys is without a doubt one of the best I've read. They combine a deep knowledge of the issues surrounding partners of "ACOA"s (adult children of alcoholic parents) with common sense advice, homey little case histories and even a joke or two in the section explaining the value of humor.
Although the book is aimed at ACOA partners, I think it's full of wise advice for ANYONE who understands that relationships thrive and grow because of WORK.
One charming thing about it is that the Beys freely admit that they don't have all the answers, and have even been wrong in their evaluations and suggestions in the past. Although everyone knows no one is perfect, it's rare to see this sort of candor in a book of this type.
I am hoping to get my partner to read this as well, as I think there's a lot that we can discuss from it.
The only even slightly negative thing I would observe (and this is more a quibble than anything substantial) is that their writing style is a bit odd, with a strange avoidance of contractions and an aim at simplicity. It's almost as if it wasn't written by someone for whom English was their first language.
That said, it's still very clearly written. Overall; extremely highly recommended.

This book offers great insight into the common behaviors that ACOAs share. But its real value lies in the creative how-to tips that can help the spouse/significant other handle those unpredictable bumps that come with loving an ACOA. If you are committed to your ACOA and want to improve your relationship, this book can help.

This book is a must read for anyone in a relationship, not only with an ACOA but adult children from most disfuctional backgrounds. The pain that these adult children carry, the loneliness, anxiety, and fear that even they don't understand significantly effects intimacy and leads many of these relationships to end for all the wrong reasons. In most cases the adult child either doesn't realize how they are effected or won't share that with their significant other. This leaves the one in a relationship with an adult child unknowing of the troubles down deep inside their loved one. That's where this book comes in.Unfortunately, without the knowledge in this book (and books like it), good relationships end because the adult child wants out, thinking changing their circumstances will change how they feel but the only way to save not only the relationship, but themselves, is to look inside. The knowledge in this book will help both partners if they work hard and have faith that they can get through the stuggle they are going through....

My daughter doesn't like to read, but she read this book in two sittings. She said it was funny and also sad. She loved reading about a sixteen-year-old girl who had such a tough life, but wouldn't give up.

I read it in one sitting. I didn't want to put it down until I finished it.

Nominated for two American Library Association awards and voted a "Best Book for Teenagers" by the New York Public Libraries, No More Secrets follows the life of Mandy Baker, a sixteen-year-old girl trying to cope with the terrible secrets surrounding her childhood. This book will make you laugh and cry. It will also shock you.

Mandy Baker was raped twice -- once by her mother's friend, and the second time by her own family because they never allowed her to talk about her trauma. Spellbinding book; simple, horrible, sometimes funny, but always captivating. I laughed and cried.

I loved this book. I couldn't put it down until I'd finished it. It's not just about the rape of a young girl; it's about the complicated relationship between a girl who's been damaged by the actions of her mother, and the mother who feels guilty about what she's done. It's amazing.

As an individual that was sexually abused, I found this book to speak volumes of my experience. This book allowed me to begin my journey of healing - of becoming whole. It inspired me to begin counseling for the abuse I suffered which will allow me to become a participant in society - no longer isolated and empty.

This book clearly shows how sexually abused non-white women are still forced into a double bind. If they publically disown non-white men who have sexually abused them, the women in turn are accused of being traitors to their ethnic group. Sexual abuse is endemic in all cultures and ethnicities. This book shows how non-white women and girls can heal, but only their cultures and communities are no longer prepared to excuse male sexual violence. This book shows women and girls can heal, but seual abuse and racism go hand-in-hand, they are not separate issues as the author clearly shows. An invaluable book which is a must read as it shows the clear connection between sexual abuse and racism.

Review of No Secrets, No Lies: How Black Families Can Heal From Sexual Abuse by Robin D. Stone, 2004, Broadway Books, NY. Hardcover ISBN 0- 7679-1344-2
The author of No Secrets, No Lies is a survivor of sexual assault. She has been an editor for Essence magazine, The New York Times, the Boston Globe, the Detroit Free Press, and Family Circle. She also teaches journalism at New York University. This impressive writing experience is evident in her clear, concise, compassionate, and culturally enlightening work: No Secrets, No Lies. Throughout the book, Stone offers "Fast Facts" in the margin, adding relevant material to the readers' knowledge. For example, Stone states, "Blacks are sexually victimized in childhood at the same rate as Whites. In one survey, they reported being more severely abused with greater force." Stone cites her sources in an extensive "notes" section. She also offers a valuable resource list and index.

The title of the first chapter is: "Was It Sexual Abuse?" Stone writes, "For many of us, we have buried sexual abuse so deep into our psyches that we would never connect it to today's physical illnesses and pain, our depression or addiction, our inability to hold a job, get out of debt, find satisfaction in a relationship, nurture our children, or simply say no to people or situations that do us harm." Indeed. No matter the gender, race, religion, socio-economic class, or ethnicity, victims of sexual abuse will experience the devastating ramifications. Victims suffer initially with the abuse, then again with each result that limits our human potential. Stone tells the reader: "in addition to the trauma of sexual violation, survivors must also deal with the trauma of being born and raised in a racist and sexist culture." And therein lies the roots of our troubled society.

Stone offers case examples in each chapter. We read about Kim, who says, "I'm always afraid that people will leave if they see the real me." The "real me" is the child who was molested by her stepfather until she was nineteen; even as a young woman, he slapped her for resisting. Kim's mother kicked Kim out of the house, leaving Kim to fend for herself with friends. Kim learns that a relative had sexually abused her mother. This addresses the frightening fact that perpetration is all too often generational.

The author incorporates the limitations placed upon Black survivors. "When Blacks seek help from White institutions [they] find little sympathy or understanding." "Blacks [have] a deep mistrust of a majority White medical profession. Blacks have been slow to embrace traditional therapy." "We often find ourselves sitting across from a counselor who hasn't a clue about the complexities of our culture, our history, and our challenges, and who can only see our problems solely from a White or middle-class perspective." However, Stone encourages counseling: "We have historically turned to our own support systems...sister circles...but for many of us the problems associated with being sexually abused run far too deep for untrained experts to help us tackle them in a meaningful way." Stone tells the reader: "...experts have developed multicultural approaches to therapy that incorporate the values, customs, and traditions of non-Whites." In chapter four, Stone suggests methods to finding "African-Centered Healing." Stone uses a statement from Rhonda Wells-Wilbon, a social work professor and sexual assault survivor, to define "African-Centered" as: "using Africa as a geographical and cultural starting point for the study of African people." Stone then shares Rhonda Wells-Wilbon's Aya Model: Ten Steps Toward Healing" for a culturally sensitive method.

At the end of each chapter, the author offers a "Help Yourself" section. In chapter 5, "Protecting and Saving Our Children," Stone tells the reader to "act on suspicion" and "get involved." She also offers "The Child's Bill of Rights." In the final chapter, "Reconciliation...and Moving On" Stone offers exercises to confront an abuser, if the victim finds it necessary for healing.
review by Lynn C. Tolson

Robin D. Stone, a former executive with Essence Magazine, Boston Globe and New York Times has covered every possible aspect and cause of sexual abuse in her newly released book, "No Secrets, No Lies - How Black Families Can Heal from Sexual Abuse." She accurately discusses the reasons and terrifying consequences that are plaguing numerous African-American families that have suffered from sexual assault. The powerful resource guide seeks to assist families to thoroughly understand, prevent and overcome the devastating impact of sexual abuse on adult survivors.

Ms. Stone, an abuse survivor herself, realistically has written a one of a kind book that addresses the physical, emotional and psychological scarring and horrific effects of sexual abuse within the dysfunctional family. Through a collection of powerful and deep personal interviews with abuse victims, abusers and additional family members, "No secrets, No Lies" speaks out to survivors, parents, caregivers, family members and friends designating and furnishing detailed and practical steps for imperative healing.

The book is divided into three distinct parts. It covers immensely important material on the background and "WHYS" of child sexual abuse, interviews with more than thirty survivors and then easy to follow guidelines by professional experts who work with and treat the survivor and the abuser. Included also are compelling advice, poignant anecdotes, as well as contact information for legal help, therapists and advocacy groups throughout the USA. It provides invaluable insight necessary for overcoming and understanding the horrific, overwhelming experiences and effects for recovery and resolution.

This book is an eye opener that sexual abuse is wide spread, vastly occurring and must be recognized. The sexual abuser must be reported to the proper authorities, regardless of who it is because this is a criminal offense. The offense should be dealt with, the abuser charged and the acts eradicated for the sake of the innocent victim, the child. No longer should this evil atrocity be kept silent.

Readincolor Reviewer
Emily Means Willis

Several years ago and still today, the term sexual abuse was not talked about in the African-American community. NO SECRETS, NO LIES: HOW BLACK FAMILIES CAN HEAL FROM SEXUAL ABUSE by Robin D. Stone, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, is a book that discloses the actual stories as told by the victims. In each chapter, Stone provides us with self-help instructions in overcoming such a devastating act of violence.

In most cases of sexual abuse, the victim is ignored or made to believe that what happened was just their imagination. Children are easy prey because the perpetrator can easily entice them with money, candy or toys, etc. The perpetrator can be anyone - a family member, the next-door neighbor, a school employee or the well-respected member of the church. Threats of bodily harm to the victim or members of his/her family, aids the perpetrator in committing this violation.

We are all under the assumption that only women are sexually abused, but there are a vast number of men who are abused by men and in some cases women. Most males do not report that they have been abused because of the label placed on them by society as growing up and becoming gay. They also deal with issues concerning their masculinity and have feelings of being inadequate and vulnerable.

Once a victim has revealed that they have been sexually abused, some are shunned by family members or made to feel that what happened was their fault. Victims with understanding family members, such in the case of Ms. Stone, sometimes years later, still suffer from being abused. Through Stone's self-help guides at the end of each chapter, and each survivor that shares their story, victims of sexual abuse will understand that what happened was not their fault.

This book was an eye opener for me because it brings to the forefront the effects that being sexually abused can have on the victims. Even after the abuse has stopped, victims continue to suffer. NO SECRETS NO LIES: HOW BLACK FAMILIES CAN HEAL FROM SEXUAL ABUSE was very informative and lists many resources for use by victims of sexual abuse.(...)

This is one of those books that is hard to read aloud to children, because it is so touching it bring tears to the eyes.
As a counselor, I plan to use it with children on an individual basis.
I think it would help kids feel more comfortable sharing uncomfortable things.

The theme of the book is not only important one, but the artwork is absolutely stunning. The overall design is also great. This book is an excellent example of design, illustration and text working tgether artfully and seamlessly.

The writing is excellent - there is a fair amount of text, but somehow it feels very economical -- every word is well-chosen. The subject matter is handled extremely well and with a lot of sensitivity, but it in no way panders to the reader at all. The writing assumes intelligence of the reader. The illustrations do, too - they sometimes tell additional 'story' not outlined in the text, but always in an understated, gracious way. I agree with the other reviewer that this is an important book -- every library should really have a copy of this book.

I loved this book and any of my friends who have read it say the same thing. It makes you cry, a sweet cry. I think Jamie Zollars illustrations are so great and that is why I read it at first. But then I saw how wonderful and touching the story was. You leave felling that all can and will be well. You also fall in love with the little girl and her teacher. Shannon Riggs handled the subject in a positive and caring way, without making you fell sick about the subject. She also is just a great writer. Jamie captures the many emotions of the little girl in a cute way. Thanks for teaming up for such a great book Shannon & Jamie!

This book is a must for any school or public library. Children should be able to freely access it, as it might just be the encouragement they need to step forward. Shannon Riggs handles a delicate and disturbing topic with comfort and consolation that empowers children. Thank you Shannon for writing this book.

Shannon Riggs and Jamie Zollars have teamed up to create a book that deals with the topic of sexual abuse in a way that will resonate with those that need it the most--the victims themselves. And will teach all children the information they need to keep themselves safe from abusive situations. When Regina enters Room 204 she feels safe there. Mrs. Salvador has rules. All the children are told to keep there desks neat and their bodies to themselves. After a stranger danger unit where Mrs. Salvador shares that strangers aren't the only ones that can harm children, Regina tells Mrs. Salvador she is being touched inappropriately. Mrs. Salvador tells her she knows exactly what to do and Regina helps her get ready for school. Jamie Zollars illustrations capture the feeling of the text artfully. Where the feelings are warm and safe, she uses a warm, colorful palette. When Regina faces the outside world, the colors shift to cooler colors. Art and text blend together seamlessly, creating a wonderful book that is sure to help many readers.

Emile Barrios was born into a middle class Catholic family in southern Louisiana in the 1950's. He was just like any of the other kids on the block...

Or was he?

Little Emile had a few birth defects. He was born with one normal foot and one half foot. He was even more noticeably born with a nub of a hand; two fingers on either side of his hand. Two fingers that wouldn't connect even to form a claw. As a child young Emile knew that he was different but this was really accented in his mind when he started to school. He wasn't just different in that he didn't look the same and he couldn't function the same with all of his appendages. Emile also had regular visits to the "crippled children's clinic". He wore uncomfortable, hot leg braces. He couldn't participate in sports. And he developed an "outer Emile" and an "inner Emile". There was one Emile who was positive and the other Emile who grappled with the "why me's" of his situation; the Emile who chose to hide.

Emile Barrios tells the story of how he became the man he is today. How he learned not only to hide his feelings but to also to cope with other's around him, from the interested and curious to the insensitive to the down right rude. And Emile recounts how he learned to accept who he is and has been in the past in order to rid himself of the mentality that made him a cripple - how he worked to make his mind and spirit whole.

Emile Barrios has written a well examined autobiography that will be an inspiration to anyone who recognizes and is honest about their short comings. The book is well written and well thought through. It makes an easy read but also leaves the reader thinking - and empathetic. And empathy is a level beyond understanding. Emile Barrios did a good job in getting this point across.

probes feelings of self-loathing everyone experiences, but not everyone overcomes. A profound work that fills the spirit with the sense of possibility. Well written and engrossing, the book was difficult to put down.

Emile shares some of the lessons of his life in an easily readible way by which the reader can both identify with him and learn the same lessons.

This book is a valuable contribution to humanity that will contribute to the well-being of anyone who reads it. I highly recommend it as a gift for anyone who suffers from the symptoms of having "missing pieces" to the grand puzzle of our existence.

What an inspiring story. As the reader you are literally drawn into Emile's life. You feel his pain, sorrows and his plight as he overcomes many obstacles watching his story unfold as he grows into the man he is today. This is a story for everyone and comes highly recommended.

If you're looking for an uplifting story about a man who has overcome so much in his life, this is it.

Barrios' story is rich and everyone can garner something from it.

Having read his comments in online chats, e-mails, etc., I know Dan is straight-speaking without deliberately getting in anybody's face. If you're looking for personal encouragement on sobriety, and help in finding out what YOU need to do, then read him and listen up.

Dan's book is an "umbrella" of advice and information that covers the subject without regard for any particular approach. Anyone with an alcohol problem can find something that will be of help.

Garrett speaks "with" his readers,rather than to them. His personable, wry style keeps you turning the pages, as he breaks down the complex issue of addiction into practical, palatable bites, while not pulling any punches about how it can wreak havoc in our lives. At the same time, optimism and and a strong belief that anyone can find freedom from addiction shines throughout the pages. Down to earth, every day suggestions give a newcomer solid information about where to start, and how to hang in, all along the way. This personal, common sense primer is an excellent guide for those seeking a sober life free of bondage to alcohol and drugs.

Dan Garrett's first book is right on the money. If you're looking for some help, advice, or a gentle kick in the keester to change self-destructive, defeating behavior, this is it! It is delightful, compelling, and wrenching reading. Though I've had less than five alcohol-containing drinks in my life (and no personal alcohol-abuse problem), I've "been there, done that" with one who did. I promise this book will speak very eloquently to your issues, as well.

Dan Garrett has written a thoughtful, no-BS "How-To" book on getting sober. By stripping away peripheral issues, removing dogmatic programs, and concentrating on the singular task of getting alcohol and drugs out of your life, this book is a must-read for anyone trying to get clean and sober. There is no higher power at work here. There is no comfy-cozy group of enablers here, telling you to just hang in there. This book is a challenge, and there is only one "step."
Don't drink or use. Period.

Experience in counselling with groups and individuals has indicated that books of this nature have proven to be of exceptional therapeutic value as a source book for developing interpersonal discussion of subjects difficult to approach in a formal way. Callingsworth has provided us with a medium by which the clients can vicariously describe their own feelings through those of the characters described in this book.

Robert J. Joseph B.Sc., M.Ed., couns. M. S. Ed. R.

If we would be honest enough to look at ourselves, we may understand why people react to us as they do. Why some like us and others don't. But most important - we will stop blaming the world for our actions and reactions. It isn't easy; but this book will show you the way. It is written as a story and the thread of self-awareness grips the reader into recognition of self. What a better place this world would be if everybody accepted that we can be One Weak to Freedom. Dalia Larden

This book "ONE WEAK TO FREEDOM" helped me ask questions of myself when I was very confused, and needed help. "Why was my life LIKE this?" "How did I get into this mess?" "Why was this happening to me?" "Who is responsible for my happiness? When am I going to be happy?" "Why am I not happy now?" "What made me like this?" 1981. At first reading "ONE WEAK TO FREEDOM" showed me that I was CAPABLE of learning. I opened my mind to new ideas, which allowed my old attitudes to change. New attitutes allowed more new changes. Once the process began there was no stopping it. The "TRUTH" was coming out and showing me that each new change was helping me become the person I always wanted to be. I just wanted to be happy. The happy feeling inside is indescibable. I have read this book again and again, as each new attitude change, the book seemed to change for me. I am aware of several people who have read this book and changed their lifestyles profoundly. Each of us has our own idea of what our lives should be like, and each of us is searching for the answer. I found there are new answers as our attitudes change, when we ask ourselves new questions. I will continue to use this book forever as my BIBLE of LIFE.

Thsi book has been used in group discussions where people are having to deal with such problems as anxiety, anger, depression, alcoholism and low self-esteem. The ending of this book "One Weak to Freedom", deals with self-realization, positive action and understanding on the road to recovery. Freedom.

John Lewis - Kingsley Author, Publisher

By using the device of a conversation between two men motorcycling through the U. S. A. Jay Callingsworth has constructed a vivid description of recovery from emotional illness. Within this framework, Callingsworth has described many practical methods for attaining spiritul and emotional stability. Callingsworth draws from his own experiences and gives us clear and often amusing insights into his own belief system. However, this is a serious and at times a very profound work, whose concepts and philosophies have already been used with a high degree of success in several recoveries of which I am personally aware. I can foresee great therapeutic value in this book in counselling, group discussion, and for personal use.

Douglas Graham B.Sc., M.D.

A must read for mother's of addicts

About 10 pages in the beginning, where I couldnt connect with the Jewish funeral and such, I stuck it out and found it to be a very human and painful truth about a mother and son dealing with addiction..I reccomend it to every mother who is suffering with the imperfections of a son who's addiction is running both their lives.

The first two sentences of "One-Way Ticket" by Rita Lowenthal, are: "At 38, Josh was dead from a heroin overdose. In 1970 at the age of 13, he went from shooting hoops in the suburbs to shooting heroin in the ghetto.

Of course we want to know how? why? when and where? and how does a mother cope with this tragedy?

Rita Lowenthal tells us their story:hers and her son Joshs'. For Rita there was eternal hope that the next drug rehab. would present the magic cure. In her 25 year quest for a solution to Joshes' addiction she learned slowly how the system deals with drug addicts (more and more serious jail sentences). She also learned how impotent she was to enter that entrenched system. In Joshes' own words he tells her: "There is nothing you can do, mom. You can't compete with heroin."

We hear the voice of Josh through his letters from prison and from the streets he haunts. He, like his mother, is smart, funny, and a keen observer of people and places. His encounters in jails, in the family or with his girl friends are brilliantly observed and chronicled.

We get to know these two well--Rita and Josh, through the descriptive writing of their struggles to maintain a loving relationship under impossible circumstances.

I recommend this book highly, not only to those involved with addiction problems, but to all who have a social conscience and worry about our continuation of a failed drug abuse policy.

Eva Menkin, M.A.
Marriage and Family Therapist, Ret.
Santa Barbara, Ca.

With honesty, compassion and humor, Rita Lowenthal shares the heartbreaking story of her son Josh's addiction to heroin. While she doesn't beat you over the head with statistics, it is clear that the author hopes you will come away feeling less angry with yourself and your addict. She has placed the anger where it belongs--with the criminal justice system.

Rita Lowenthal has written a heart-braking but powerful book about her beloved son Josh's addiction and how it affected her, her husband and Josh's brother as well as other rlatives and friends. She shares her feelings and actions with an amazing ability to write with honesty, humor and purpose.

All parents with an addicted child must read this inciteful book. I read through tearful eyes and by the end I had learned that addiction is not a crime to be punished by being sentenced to prison but rather a disease, an illness to be treated.

I was also helped by the realization that parents who have a child with an addiction or even an other deeply troubled mental problem are not alone. How important it is to understand too that the parents are not to bleame for their child's addiction nor should they feel guilty.

ONE-WAY TICKET is a serious but readable true story that is very helpful to parents in dealing with an extremely difficult problem.
One of my friends who has an addicted son was reluctant to read the book when I sent it to her, but thanked me after she did read it.

One-Way Ticket is the story not only of Josh Lowenthal, but of his courageous mother, Rita. How much easier to leave unasked the painful questions about how someone like Josh, with all the advantages of socio-economic position, rare intelligence and tremendous personal charm, could find himself battling his way through each and every day as a heroin addict. Rita Lownenthal re-lives the confusion, fear, frustration and abiding grief of mothering this wonderful young man who was a full fledged herion addict before he even had a glimpse of life's panoramic choices. Josh was a devoted musician. When I learned of his suicide, I could hear his tired voice saying, "take two." If he could read his mother's amazing tribute to his life of struggle, I know he would join me in saying, "Bravo!"

For anyone that has been adversely affected by cultic new groups in the Church such as Legionaries of Christ, Regnum Christi, Opus Dei, or Miles Jesu, this is the book for you! Excellent book!

Would you, as a loving parent, send your seventeen year old son to dedicate his life to a highly manipulative organization controlled by a sexual predator? Of course, you would not and neither did the loving parents of John Paul Lennon but...it did happen. As told in this book, what happened was a culturally motivated, naive young man from Ireland accepted the glowing promise of Catholic recruiters to help form a new religious movement in Mexico in 1961. Lennon felt drawn to the adventure with holy men who would guide and protect his journey. What could be better? Despite lingering doubts about everything from his sexual expression to the existence of God Lennon signed on and served eventually as an ordained priest in the Legion of Christ for 23 years. He formally left the "congregation" in 1984. This book answers the question, why?

The Legion was founded by a young Father Marcial Maciel in 1941. In many respects, the Legion of Christ and its lay subsidiary Regnum Christi closely resembles Opus Dei, the Catholic organization maligned in The Da Vinci Code. Both are controversial, conservative, hierarchical Catholic groups formed ostensibly to provide members with rules for a saintly life and a way to serve others. Both groups target wealthy donors and aggressively seek favor from the Vatican. Indeed, Opus Dei's founder was a canonized recently. The same beatific fate may not befall Father Maciel as long as strong evidence continues to appear regarding his mismanagement of the Legion and his decades' long legacy of sexual abuse of young men.

J. Paul Lennon's self-published autobiography is the second significant exposé in English of the Legion and Fr. Maciel, the first being Vows of Silence (2004). There are many exposés in Spanish. Lennon's story brings the Legion experience into intimate focus through the lens of his life, his dreams, his sins, and his struggles. Lennon broke with the Legion after confronting the leader publicly about mistreatment of relocated members. He was also fed up with the double standards regarding vows of poverty while the leaders basked in favors and food from wealthy donors. Though Lennon never encountered sexual abuse personally while a Legion member, he documents what he learned after he left the group. Be prepared for specificity regarding Maciel's controversial behavior toward the end of the book. (The title refers to Fr. Maciel's dubious illnesses that required frequent time-outs for days in bed complete with injections of Demerol and erotic massages from boys).

'Our Father, who art in bed' reads well enough as a self-published effort by a first-time book writer. I enjoyed Lennon's anecdotes about his life in Ireland and Mexico. The reader finds a sense of place and culture as Lennon reflects on his struggles to make sense of his psychological isolation while serving others. The Legion restricted every aspect of a member's life including friends. "What friends" asks Lennon on page 111? "I had to have a motive and objective to contact outsiders; all activities not sanctioned by the very detailed rule had to be approved by my superior." He was able to visit his family only five years after he joined. Lennon would not know the songs of Bob Dylan or the other John Paul Lennon and The Beatles until after 1984. Lennon served as a priest in the Washington, DC area for 5 years after he broke away. He applauds the open kindness of Catholic clerics there who restored his faith in the Church. Nevertheless, Lennon requested and was granted a release from Holy Orders in 1989.

Lennon eventually recognized that his Legion experience matched many stories of ex-cult members from any number of other controversial groups. He and other ex-Legionites eventually formed a helping network called REGAIN that has a website. As his book documents, Lennon and REGAIN were sued last year by the Legion of Christ over violation of allegedly confidential information. This book is in part an appeal to the Church, the Legion and the public to recognize the truth of the matter. If nothing else, Lennon's legacy is set as one brave former priest that took on a festering cult that the Catholic Church has yet to adequately lance and to heal from. As a Catholic myself, and a professional consultant about cults, I can sympathize with Lennon's account thoroughly.

In my new book, "An Irish Tragedy, how sex abuse by Irish priests helped cripple the Catholic church", I noted how Pope John Paul II looked to Ireland to help maintain a strict morality in his church, but at the same time protected Macial Maciel Degollado, founder of the Legionaries of Christ and a notorious sex abuser. The pope did so even though Maciel was accused of sexually abusing more than 20 young seminarians and priests in his religious order. Why? I contended that John Paul didn't want to challenge the man who was churning out many, many priests who shared the pope's conservative beliefs.

But I didn't know why these priests remained so loyal to their corrupted leader. Now I know. As one of those priests, Paul Lennon explains in this book how the "great leader" brainwashed his followers, enforcing silence, isolation and blind obedience. Paul joined the order as an idealistic Irish youth of 17, and remained in it for 23 years, until he could no longer tolerate the repressive culture of the cult and left to rejoin the real world. Rather than describe Paul's experiences--like eight years separated from his family--I urge readers to obtain his book and get an unprecedented look inside the pope's legion.--Joe Rigert, investigative journalist and author.

Having some Irish ancestry, I enjoyed the detailed insights of what it was like growing up in Ireland in a Catholic family and learning how a young naive well intentioned person could be drawn into the spider's web.
Mr. Lennon provides a detailed account of his life in the Legionaries of Christ and how it took so long to discover what was under the surface. On the back cover he refers to himself as a 41 year-old adolescent. His book provides a good explanation of how and why he described himself in such a way.
Because of the lawsuit and the major (negative) impact the Legionaries and Father Marcial Maciel had on his life and his spirituality I had not expected to see the facts presented in such a gentle manner.
Mr. Lennon is a brave and genuine person with a message that I believe is accurate. He is extremely well qualified to share such a message after his years of experience inside the Legion and later duking it out with them through the Regain website and having to deal with legal attacks.

The Legion of Christ -a controversial Catholic Religious Order, or New Religious Movement, whose founder was a Pedophile censored by the Vatican- is so secretive and controlling that only an ex members can write freely [if they are not still controlled in some way by the organization].
That is why this book was written. To give readers an alternative version to the squeaky clean versions written by active Legionaries, their fans and those in the "Movement"'s employ.
May others follow suit. Perhaps they can do a better job.
But at least the author has put his experience on paper in an honest way and stands by it.
I hope another LEGION VS REGAIN and LENNON lawsuit is not forthcoming because of the author's audacity. Enjoy. Give honest feedback, or, if you are a former member of Legion of Christ or its "female branch" of so called "consecrated women", Regnum Christi, dont just criticize and get all preachy. DO, produce, write something better about your experience with the Legion of Christ and Regnum Christi, self-procalimed saviors of today's Catholic Church.

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I have just started working with children with PTSD and was looking for a book that would be non-threatening yet informative, using exercises that would help a child deal with sexual abuse. I liked this book because there were exercises that could be used as games and follow the gamet from informing the child about sexual abuse to helping them deal with the abuse. Caregivers can be very nervous about a therapist delving into this topic also, and this is an easy resource to use when talking to parents.

This book is excellent. There are so many excercises to pull from. I've met the author (s) and the book was written so that items could used by the purchaser in their individual work.

I am an M.A. intern at an agency that counsels the sexually abused. This is a resource my supervisor recommended and that they use with their child clients. It has been an excellent resource in working with sexually traumatized children!

This book gives exercises that the therapist can do with children ranging from Preschool to Teen aged. The tools cover all phases of therapy, from assessment to closure. The sections include: Defining Sexual Abuse; Family & Community Relationships; Identifying Feelings; Coping with Feelings; Secrets; Post-Disclosure Experiences; Documenting the Sexual Abuse; Responsibility; Offenders; Triggers; Sexuality; Personal Safety; and Self-Esteem.

I would highly recommend this book!

I have used this book off & on for the past 4 years in treating victims of sexual abuse. The activities are enjoyable for the younger kids and they learn the appropriate objective as well.

This book is the most valuable tool a trauma therapist can use with children, individually and in groups.