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Abuse Books sorted by Average customer review: high to low .

Abuse
All But My Soul : Abuse Beyond Control
Published in Paperback by Mind Matters Pub (2001-04-11)
Author: Jeanne I. King
List price: $19.95
New price: $15.75
Used price: $6.86
Collectible price: $19.95

Average review score:

The United States Justice System is not Just.
Helpful Votes: 0 out of 0 total.
Review Date: 2008-09-10
A must read for all women. This could happen to you. Be very careful who you marry and with whom you have children. Look behind that charming exterior before you even allow him a date.

"All but my Soul, Abuse Beyond Control" is a powerful and gut wrenching account of the family of a wife and child abuser, and of the United States court system that sided with him and gave him full permission to continue abusing to his heart's content. We are so taught that we can rely on our justice system to be just, that it's hard to fathom that one judge and lawyer after another could so use their power to further abuse a wife and her sons.

Yet, I too was in a similar situation and the judge gave my ex-husband his blessing, his stamp of approval, allowing him to continue to control us and make us into prisoners in our own houses by frequently denying us contact with one another. As with Dr. King, I too could see the damage my ex was inflicting on our daughter, and I was powerless to stop it. After 8 years of being controlled by him through custody, my daughter came to live with me when she was nearly 15 and has been living with me for nearly 6 years now. She still cries when she recalls those horrible years. Yet in our case there was no physical abuse like Dr. King records. It was mostly non-physical. I assumed the lack of physical evidence was why the judge decided against me. But there was plenty of physical evidence in Dr. King's family, and the judge still put those boys with their abuser.

I am amazed at how well Dr. King kept it together. I didn't do nearly as well and the judge decided my ex was the more stable--after he'd made an emotional wreck of me. (anxiety; I needed Dr. King's professional services.) So he put our daughter with her dad, so he could make an emotional wreck of her, too. I have absolutely no confidence in our legal system. As a result, I continued to pay child support after my daughter came to live with me and her dad refused to sign a paper releasing me of that responsibility, lest her dad destroy her or the court order her to live with her dad again and/or see me even less than before, or the lawyers take more money than the remaining child support.

I have heard that it is the abusive men who are more likely to fight for custody of their children, and it is the abusive men who are more likely to win.

As Dr. King did, I also realized I was helpless to change our situation and felt driven to write "Behind the Hedge, A novel" to make a difference for others. [...]

Profoundly informative, emotionally moving, a MUST READ for all concerned or ill-informed readers.
Helpful Votes: 0 out of 0 total.
Review Date: 2006-12-26
Ms. King tells her story with profound truth while relating the further progressions of control when seeking help from the justice system. Ms. King will stir emotions you never realized existed, as her story relates the commonalities found in many abusive relationships. When there are children involved as with the author's situations, the pain and mental stress that fills a mother's daily life and sleepless nights, is unimaginable. A mother's heart is ripped to shreads when the abuser, as the author relates, attempts to control and turn the children away from their mother. This emotional disaster is beyond the choicest words yet this book penetrates the heart and soul like no other I've read. Ms. King has created an autobiography that, having lived the near nightmare she pens with all but the broken bones and legalities, I can only on say what Jeanne has told is only a small part of the tormenting suffering that only fades, but never really goes away. It is a pain that a mother only learns to deal with, with a lifetime of prayers that the children will one day understand, as the author writes. Jeanne found me sobbing, and yet I applaud her dedication to restoring others and the informative contents within. If you are in an abusive situation or know anyone that is, or are thinking about tieing the knot where signs of abuse exist, this book is pricless and may well change your thinking...if not your life. Author of: VOWS BETRAYED: A Story of Abuse, A Transformational Message

Breaking the cycle of domestic and legal abuse
Helpful Votes: 0 out of 0 total.
Review Date: 2004-07-11
Excellent Book. This book gives documented accounts of personal history of domestic violence, teaches about the cycle of domestic abuse and gives an excellent overview of how the court system can keep a family in legal domestic abuse.

Would highly recommend it to anyone who might be in an abusive relationship.

Important Info for the Abused & Those who can Invoke Change
Helpful Votes: 4 out of 4 total.
Review Date: 2004-04-12
Having spent most of my adult life in one abusive situation after another I couldn't imagine that there was anything that could shock me or make me feel more drawn to take action. Although I already knew the ending before I began reading I couldn't put the book down I was so drawn into the passion and authenticity of Dr Kings' writing about the continual cycles of abuse that she and her children had endured. At some points I got so wrapped up in what happened to Dr. King and her children that I felt as though I became a part of the story and wanted to help her and her children in any way I could. Although I have always known from my own experience that lawyers, doctors, and the courts could all be bought off I couldn't imagine that anyone could turn their heads for politics and money while ignoring such outrageous abuse and devastation. Additionally, the numbers of people who turned their back on this situation is far beyond any reasonable persons' imagination. I find it amazing that she was able to survive the torture of her relationship only to be continually tortured even more by those who were supposed to be there to help and protect her and her children. Finally after surviving such horrific abuse to be able to pour her energy into writing such detail about `what really happens in the abuse cycle' must have been painful as she relived every event of the previous few years in order to make a difference. I applaud Dr. King for her courage and I pray that when her children are old enough to read this book and understand the real dynamics of the abuse cycle perpetrated on their mother and themselves that they will be able to draw from her strength and courage to forgive their abuser and stop the abuse cycle from continuing into the next generation of Blumenthal's. Dr. King has obviously put her heart and soul into this book with the clear intention of making a difference in someone else's life, I can't imagine anyone coming away from reading this book without being changed in some positive way. Thank you Dr. King for you commitment to making a difference and for your courage in coming forward to help others who are trapped in this same cycle of abuse. This book has changed my life forever.

Read This---It's invaluable if you are abused.
Helpful Votes: 8 out of 8 total.
Review Date: 2002-05-27
I'm absolutely flabbergasted by this book--not by the actions of her wretched ex-husband Les, but by the continual abuse of the LEGAL system funded by his mindless, destructive pathology. I, too, was married to an abusive physician, more emotional than physical. A rude, ranting power-monger. When I finally gathered the strength to make a move (and it took YEARS), the legal system was there for me. Aside from the longevity of the proceedings (2 1/2 years SO FAR) my children and I have been protected by the judges. My attorney and his staff have never wavered in their support and have been a source of strength for me. Having an attorney you can trust, along with the support of family and countless friends gets you through even the most frightening days.
If you are in an abusive situation, Dr. King's book may scare you from taking action against your abuser. Don't let it. Read her book, educate yourself, and get ready for battle. You cannot be weak. I hope that her situation is not the norm and if you are considering a divorce, then be ready for a long and bloody dog-fight. These men don't give up--and worse, they deny any wrong-doing or responsibility and place all the blame on anyone who happens to be walking by. Unreal. Because they are charming and appear piteous, people actually believe them. The attitude of unethical attorneys is just as much or more loathsome: "Hey, if those kids get hungry enough, she'll settle", and they will use and do anything to win. These people will not stand up for the simplest of human decencies like children not huddling together in fear listening to their father shriek in fury at their mother. They will, in fact, take those children and put their very lives and emotional well-being at risk if it will line their pockets with silver. My daughter used to grab her little sister, put cotton in her ears, lock the bedroom door and crawl under the bedcovers with her during his irrational meltdowns. Read this book, read other books, get on the internet and research laws for your state and state Supreme Court rulings, find a loyal, GOOD attorney who is appalled at misogynous behavior, get dormant and grow strong roots. Keep your mouth shut and don't tell anyone your business. Lose as much emotion as you can. Think like they think and try to stay one step ahead. Once you make a decision, you cannot feel sorry for them or guilty and go back into that life. Maintain your dignity, don't grovel, try not to show fear, and stay on the right side of right. Forget future planning and live for today and take care of those children. If you don't protect them, you can't expect anyone else to. My turning point was when my daughter turned and looked at me after yet another mealtime rampage and quietly said: "Mom, I can't live like this anymore. You have got to do something." Her eyes were just dull.
Be smart, educate yourself and remember you know more about your case than anyone in that courtroom. And hope that the legal system is ethical and doesn't prey on your children. Where are the Congressmen? the Senators? Greenpeace? Jesse Jackson? Where's the Village Hillary wrote about? Is the spotted owl more important than Dr. King's three sons? At this very moment, while you are reading this, one of her children is being punched, kicked, screamed at, humiliated. How Judge Timothy Evans sleeps at night is beyond me. Surely those children's cries haunt him every moment. All of that pain---for lousy money and political gain. What an unforgivable American tragedy.

Abuse
Another Chance: Hope & Health for the Alcoholic Family
Published in Hardcover by Science and Behavior Books (1981-06)
Author: Sharon Wegscheider
List price: $12.95
New price: $3.97
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Collectible price: $12.94

Average review score:

another Chance
Helpful Votes: 0 out of 0 total.
Review Date: 2008-09-15
Although it is a required "Text" for my class, it is an easy read. Very informative...brings you into the heart of the alcoholic's family suffering.

Great Book
Helpful Votes: 0 out of 0 total.
Review Date: 2007-05-12
This book helps to understand the dynamics of not just the dependent's role in addiction but the family as a whole, and what roles they play. I would recommend this book to anyone who has a family member struggling with any addiction or grew up in an abusive family.

so many families of alcoholics need this book
Helpful Votes: 2 out of 2 total.
Review Date: 2008-02-01
This is one of the author's early, classic books. Families of alcoholics need this---and need so much information to help them deal with the craziness of living with alcoholism. I recommend this book, and "Under the Influence" by James Milam (his book so well explains the entire physiological disease of alcoholism) Under the Influence: A Guide to the Myths and Realities of Alcoholism . These are but two of the books that make up the still-too-little information for the tens of millions of families of alcoholics that need urgent help.

Review by Irene Watson, author of "The Sitting Swing."
Helpful Votes: 3 out of 3 total.
Review Date: 2005-11-13
Yes, there is hope and understanding. Wegscheider-Cruse gives a very detailed account of how we play out our birth roles and act them out in dysfuctional situations. Reading this book gave me the best insight of why I displayed certain behaviors. It also gave me an understanding of the roles other people play. Down right insightful! A must read.

A Classic Text On The Effect Of Alcohol On Families
Helpful Votes: 7 out of 7 total.
Review Date: 2004-05-08
I first read this book in 1991 for a substance abuse counseling class. It does a great job of looking at alcoholism from a family systems perspective. The text even discusses issues such as codependent/enabling counselors within the profession.

Beyond it's professional usage is the fact that from the moment I started reading the book, I felt like I was reading about my own family. Finally, someone had put words to every stupid, miserable, confused feeling I had in the family I grew up in. Yes, it is a great intro text if you're planning on becoming a substance abuse counselor. But it's an even better text if you suspect that things in your family of origin weren't so normal after all. This was the book that got me started on my journey towards recovery from codependency. Since family system problems tend find their way into non alcolic families as well, this text is applicable to all kinds of people that may have found themselves growing up in the proverbial "dysfunctional family"

Abuse
The Basket Maker
Published in Hardcover by GreyCore Press (2004-06)
Author: Kate Niles
List price: $22.95
New price: $2.19
Used price: $0.98

Average review score:

What Is Being Done to Our Children?
Helpful Votes: 0 out of 2 total.
Review Date: 2005-04-04
The Basket Maker
Kate Niles
GreyCore Press - May 15, 2004
PB 224
ISBN# 0-97420-7-0-3
www.greycore.com
Review by Christina Francine

What is being done to our children? Will we allow this until the end of time? Niles wove a story around a real life sensitive issue and readers will not forget. They can't for sometimes monsters rise from close by and from the most unlikely places.

This story offers a blend of luminous prose, thought-provoking issues, and incredible story telling. Powerful, timely, and sure to haunt. Niles takes a look at an unspeakable end to innocence.

Interesting arrays of characters provide moment-by-moment, first-hand accounts as the story unfolds.

These include:

Sarah - Ten-year-old girl
Maddy - An elderly woman who lives next door.
Ouray - The deceased Indian Chief
Barbara - A neighbor whose son receives severe, life- changing burns over most of his body.
Snow Geese - They add perspective and an account of time.

The story opens with a modern setting of the American West. Niles gives tremendous imagery thus teaching as well as entertaining. She's painted surroundings that generate rich images for the mind's eye and ears.

Sarah Graves and her family recently moved again for the fourth time. She and her brother, Ricky don't like sharing a bedroom in the basement with black widow spiders who're definitely the owners. Why couldn't they have the two perfectly good rooms upstairs? Why did their mother insist she have them instead?

Both of Sarah's parents were college professors, but only her father worked. Her mother stayed home, yet rarely spent time with Sarah and Ricky. She'd rather they busied themselves away from her.

Sarah wished her mother was like other mothers, wished she'd see. She also wished her mother didn't hate her. Sarah just knew she did, but why?

Another wish Sarah had was to play the blues and ragtime on the piano instead of classical. Every Wednesday she and her brother went to piano lessons in town. No matter where they lived her mother insisted. One day though Sarah is drawn to the roundhouse down at the rail yard.

The light is on again in the basement of the Grave's house. Past two a.m.? Maddy can't imagine what goes on down there night after night. What business is it of hers anyway? So what if they were neighbors? She can't sleep. Her house spooks her. If only Lars hadn't hung himself in their basement.

Maddy know Travis came home from the burn hospital and that she should call his mother. After all Barbara used to be her Sunday school student years ago. So many years had past since they'd last spoke, yet...
Sarah visits her son. She is the only child not to turn away after seeing Travis' distorted skin. Barbara marvels at the girl's courage and tenderness. Still, something bothers her about Sarah. There's a certain look in her eyes, a stare like Barbara had when her father died.

Some life events cannot be forgotten even after death. Chief Ouray still beats himself up over his five-year-old son being stolen by the enemy. It was his fault and so he couldn't go to the spirit world. His anger held with the white man too leading him to haunt. One man he appeared to was Lars, Maddy's husband. Again, regret filtered into the Chief for Lars may have did what he did because of Ouray.

One night Ouray had to find out and decides to visit Maddy. They talk deeply, and later decide to peek into the neighbor's basement window, for it shown bright late at night again. What they see, discover, horrifies their souls.

Story Excerpt:

Sarah - "Napalm. Fire. I am not here. How could-?"
Like being operated on while she's still awake.
"I am not here."
Up on the ceiling where he can't get to her.

He can't know that but he must see something hollow in her because he says, "It's important to think of others, Sarah."

"I have made it again. My jaw says: you won't get to me."

Ouray - "I am Chief Ouray. Here I am, a skeleton since
1880, dead ninety some winters up this hillside.
I started haunting a long time ago.

I'm going to make him sweat the biggest sweat of his life.

Until all that evil drips out of him and scorches the ground beneath his feet."


Kate Niles is a college writing instructor and holds a degree in Anthropology, Archeology and Creative Writing. The Basket Maker was a finalist in the Heekin Group Foundation Awards for a novel-in-progress. Her books of poems, Geographies Of The Heart, was published by Blue Heron Press in 1997, and her poetry, short-stories and essays have appeared in library journals and have been broadcast on public radio. Kate is also the recipient of the Colorado Council of the Arts Individual Artist Fellowship for Creative Writing in 2003.

The Basket Maker drew the mother lioness out in me. Nile's reinforces that children require protection - be it our own or our neighbor's. Children are our greatest resource and need to be watched over, nurtured, and disciplined. They are not miniature adults with adult understanding, bodies, or abilities, and shouldn't be treated as such or given adult responsibilities.

I recommend this book for everyone because we were all children once struggling to learn how to survive in an adult world.

The Basket Maker
Helpful Votes: 1 out of 1 total.
Review Date: 2004-08-19
I just finished reading The Basket Maker. I literally could not put it down. What a very powerful, intense book. It held my interest from start to finish. Very interesting how all the character's lives blended together. Full of geography, history and psychological drama. I would recommend this book highly. Bravo to Kate Niles !!!!!!

The Peaks
Helpful Votes: 2 out of 2 total.
Review Date: 2006-05-06
One of the many things Kate Niles does beautifully in The Basket Maker is create a voice with the setting. In the Southwest, the land is not just a backdrop, the land is a character, and Kate brings it to life by having the Peaks tell pieces of the story. The rest of the characters are vivid and real, and reading about the town makes me homesick for the real one it's based on! This is an amazing first novel by one of my favorite professors and I'm anxiously awaiting the next one!

With a memorable roster of supporting characters
Helpful Votes: 2 out of 2 total.
Review Date: 2004-07-17
The Basket Maker is a smoothly written and deftly woven story of Sarah Graves, a young woman with a dark secret who encounters Trent, a boy at school who has suffered burns over most of his body. With a memorable roster of supporting characters, this unique and compassionate novel is presented with intelligence, delicacy, and reader-engaging passion set against the background of the American southwest. Kate Niles is the recipient of the Colorado Council of the Arts Individual Artist Fellowship for Creative Writing for 2003. An accomplished writer of essays and short stories, The Basket Maker now documents her as having mastered the novel with a literary style and elegance rarely achieved and never surpassed.

Niles Weaves Intricate Plot for The Basketmaker
Helpful Votes: 3 out of 4 total.
Review Date: 2004-11-16
The Basket Maker has a couple of elements that made it a super read for me. First getting into the story is like working a jig saw puzzle. Except this is not a flat puzzle with one point of view, us looking down on a picture. This is a multidimensional puzzle, presented from the points of view of four main characters in the middle of it. One by one, each views a series of events that join them to each other. That makes a complex read, guaranteed to keep anyone paying attention. The second neat thing is this: by the time we see how everybody thinks and fits together in the plot, author Kate Niles has given us the story of a litle girl facing life for the first time, and of grownups working through that life just a little ahed of her. Together they help each other face and work through problems. The Basket Maker offers a simple message: we are all community and we all support each other. We are all interrelated. We all face tough issues, but together we will find a way to manage them. Some we will actually solve. How life affirming

Abuse
Beachglass: A Novel
Published in Kindle Edition by St. Martin's Press (2006-05-16)
Author: Wendy Blackburn
List price: $13.95
New price: $9.99

Average review score:

awesome read - easy to digest
Helpful Votes: 2 out of 4 total.
Review Date: 2006-10-02
Fabulous book, hard to believe this is the author's first work! Each page reads like a conversation with a good friend; it has that easy cadence and believability. I'm eager to read more from this author.

Beach Glass is an awesome book!
Helpful Votes: 2 out of 3 total.
Review Date: 2006-06-14
I have long been fascinated by issues related to addiction and alcoholism and have read several books (fiction and non-fiction) on this subect; Beach Glass is definitely one of the best I've read. The indepth portrayal of people in the throes of and recovering from various addictions is amazing. It is great the way the author can realistically create characters from all different backgrounds (gay, straight, male, female). And I loved the way she wove the details of the locations (sounds, sights, etc) into the story. I loved this book and would recommend it to anyone, regardless of whether you are in the addictions counseling field or not.

Beachglass
Helpful Votes: 2 out of 4 total.
Review Date: 2006-05-22
Blackburn's book shows the tremendously rich life that's possible for the characters explicitly because they are in recovery. Life's trials were realistically approached and the characters were able to make it because they found community with one another. They seem to get to the point where they know they may not be "normal" but they understand that they are better than normal because they face life's challenges by sticking together, being their weird and wonderful selves and doing the hard work of living a concious life.
Blackburn has an incredible gift for placing you right there in the story. At moments I got little chills. There were suspenseful scenes that kept me reading when I should've really gone to bed already. Her ability to point out the absurdities of life cracked me up. And as the journey was coming to a close and the pages dwindled, I was able to really feel the sadness of the main characters as the story was coming to a close.
I would recommend this book not only for those in "the tribe" of 12-Steppers but for anyone who has had to deal with issues related to life changes like leaving home, having close friends get sick and die and all the craziness of relationships from tempting flirtations to just realizing it's time to end a relationship. I suspect everyone could relate to something in this book.

This year's 'must read' book at the Twelve Step Shop.
Helpful Votes: 2 out of 3 total.
Review Date: 2006-05-18
When a customer asks me 'What book would you recommend?', I ask them at least 20 questions before I even hazard a guess. Then I suggest a book that I feel most relates to their particular situation.
Gleefully, Beachglass is a book I can recommend with reckless abandon to anyone who walks into my store. ANYONE who reads this capitaving tale will be entertained and indeed educated about the recovery side of the deadly diseases of alcoholism and addiction.
I loved this book!

Spellbound
Helpful Votes: 4 out of 5 total.
Review Date: 2006-07-28
I could not put this book down. Delia tells her story in the present and in flashbacks. In the current time, Delia is holding the hand of her best friend while he dies. Kleenex alert!! Delia and Timothy walk this path together in an agony of loss and triumph. We meet Delia some 13 years before as a physically and emotionally bankrupt 17 year old. She comes to rehab as an 89 pound, half dead druggie/alcoholic. Faced with the choice to live or die, Delia makes the courageous leap to grab life. In the rehab Delia meets a delightfully quirky and human cast of characters who will become her friends and guides as she learns how to live a sober life. This book is gritty and sweaty and unflinchingly honest about what it is like to be in recovery. It's a story about how Delia learns to live and to embrace all the scars and challenges that polish and grow her into being a beautiful and unique piece of art, like Beachglass.

Abuse
Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse
Published in Hardcover by Harvard University Press (1996-01-01)
Author: Jennifer J. Freyd
List price: $35.00
New price: $19.87
Used price: $4.66

Average review score:

Has been extremely helpful in my recovery
Helpful Votes: 21 out of 22 total.
Review Date: 2004-07-27
Before I read Betrayal Trauma, I obsessed over the details of WHAT had been done to me, to protect myself from the deeper and more devastating knowledge that I was severely betrayed by people who were expected, by society, to protect and care about me. As I let go of my denial that their behaviors were the norm, and accepted that they had wilfully chosen to betray me, I felt and fully experienced the deep, foundational pain that I'd secretly feared might kill me. I was stunned to realize how their innumerable betrayals had kept me separated from the rest of society for DECADES. Armed with that knowledge, I was able to let go of my childishly unrealistic expectations, and emotionally disconnect from them. As I let go, I realized how lonely I was. Although I'd used my inner selves in the past decades for company, I now dared to reach out to external others. As I did - miracle of miracles - I began to fully integrate. (I've been tested recently, and no longer have DID, although I still struggle with PTSD from hell.) Some of the healthy people I've since chosen to trust, love, and bond with have become members of my new family of choice. I cannot, in words, sufficiently express the joy and happiness I now feel when I interact with them. I never would have experienced this marvelous part of ordinary life, had I not allowed Dr. Freyd's words to lead me through my foundational pain. By example, she blazed a brave path that I am fortunate to have found and followed.

Excellent
Helpful Votes: 22 out of 26 total.
Review Date: 1999-09-16
I consider this book one of a small handful that really goes to the core of understanding trauma and its influence. Other such books include works by Alice Miller, Konrad Stettbacher, and Mortan Schatzman (Soul Murder; out of print; not the book by the same title by Leonard Schengold).

Uncommon Objectivity
Helpful Votes: 24 out of 25 total.
Review Date: 2000-11-01
Because of her parents attacks on Dr. Freyd, I'd expected to find some of her justifible anger in the pages of this book. I did not. Dr. Freyd is logical, objective, and professional in her handling of this sensitive subject. She adds a somewhat new perspective to the old story of sexual abuse and betrayal. An excellent addition to any therapist's or survivor's library.

This book answers vital questions about recovered memories
Helpful Votes: 4 out of 4 total.
Review Date: 2008-03-13
How could the huge betrayal of sexual abuse remain hidden in the back corners of my psyche for years and years? Can I really believe a memory that has been hidden so long?

Betrayal Trauma provides sensible, evidence-based answers to these questions. Freyd explains that forgetting is useful to the child because it enables her to remain in contact with the family that is essential for her survival. The closer the relationship with the abuser, the more important it is to forget the abuse in order to keep that relationship working, problematic though it is.

Freyd even found data showing that kids whose abuse was reported to authorities often "forgot" it for years, and the closer the relationship to the abuser (father vs. cousin, for example), the more likely the forgetting.

Isn't that stunning? Yet it makes total sense. I had to keep eating cornflakes every morning opposite my father and relying on him for food, learning, and yes, love. I could not allow myself to remember the abuse in the night.

Fantastic Book
Helpful Votes: 8 out of 13 total.
Review Date: 1999-09-06
This book is well written and well researched. I put it at the top of my list of good information and theory for any survivor.

Abuse
The Boy on a Black Horse
Published in Paperback by Troll Communications (1995-04)
Author: Nancy Springer
List price: $3.95
New price: $5.95
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Average review score:

Great book
Helpful Votes: 0 out of 0 total.
Review Date: 2007-02-23
I can relate to this book. Gray, mostly, but the plot is great. The ending is the best you can hope for. I would advise all kids to read this. Even though it is pretty short, it has great wording. I couldn't put it down once I started reading this book.

Great Book!
Helpful Votes: 0 out of 0 total.
Review Date: 2002-06-03
I read this book many times and I loved it more every time! I think that everyone should read this book because it is really good!

An Irish Leprechaun
Helpful Votes: 2 out of 2 total.
Review Date: 2002-03-08
I read this book about 5 years ago, and I have still thought about it. I don't think I fully understood what was going on. But now I have!! I liked this book and you shoutl read it if you find these reviews intresting.

It was the BEST!
Helpful Votes: 2 out of 2 total.
Review Date: 2002-01-21
Lisa

This book was the best! It was really good that I couldn't put it down! When I read it, it feels as if I'm right there in the book! Like I'm right there standing and seeing the whole scene. You have got to read this book!

Fairy-tale-ish
Helpful Votes: 3 out of 4 total.
Review Date: 2002-11-03
This book deals with very real issues, but has kind of a surreal, fairy-tale-ish quality to it, probably because of the presence of a vagabond gypsy family on a black horse. You can just imagine them, riding away in the gray mists of morning...
The characters are well-developed and thought out, and the plot is intense, but thoughtful and moody.

Abuse
The Butterfly Garden: Surviving Childhood on the Run with One of America's Most Wanted
Published in Paperback by HCI (2008-01-18)
Author: Chip St. Clair
List price: $15.95
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Average review score:

A Fascinating Story!
Helpful Votes: 0 out of 0 total.
Review Date: 2008-09-23
I'm so glad I took the time to go through books and come across this one. An amazing true story about Chip St. Clair. This book is a real page turner that's full of surprises. Chip is a remarkable person! I highly recommend this book.

Chip Has A Heart Of Pure Gold
Helpful Votes: 0 out of 0 total.
Review Date: 2008-09-04
I had the pleasure of meeting Chip & Lisa St. Clair a few years ago. We have since developed a lasting friendship that has taken us to countless fund raisers in hopes of raising awareness to the ugliness of child abuse. We continue to work together in an effort to help those who don't have a voice. Chip is my hero!

Mark S. Ford
President
Risk Security & Investigations
419 S. Main Street
Rochester, Michigan 48307
248-608-1712

Amazing
Helpful Votes: 0 out of 0 total.
Review Date: 2008-08-01
This book is an intimate chronicle of a man's journey through abuse as a victim and his metamorphasis into an amazing man who conquers his demons on by one with his partner Lisa by his side. It is a sad story with a satisfying ending. It is a quick and easy read, in that it is well written. Recommended!

A Bizarre Story of Mystery, Abuse and Hope!
Helpful Votes: 1 out of 1 total.
Review Date: 2008-09-29
Chip grew up being abused and not knowing his parents were on the run. Chip didn't find out until he was in college about the secrets his parents kept from him. He realized that they were both very dangerous people and he was fortunate to have survived into adulthood.

This book shows the great influence a woman can have on a man and the importance of a good woman in a man's life. Lisa helped Chip sort out his past and loved him for who he was, bringing out the best in him. Growing up, Chip found solace in poetry and art. Not until the end of the book does the reader find out the meaning of the title of the book. I agree with my husband when he says it's a real page turner and full of surprises!

A BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN PAGE TURNER
Helpful Votes: 1 out of 1 total.
Review Date: 2008-06-03
June 2, 2008. I was supposed to meet Chip St. Clair in the HCI Booth last week at the Book Expo America just to say "Hi." When I got there, he was busy and I didn't want to interrupt. My regret is that I didn't get back to that booth and missed the opportunity to meet him in person.

I started to read The Butterfly Garden on the day after the Expo and couldn't put it down. Every time I did, I was compelled to pick it up and read more. There are other comments about the "meat" of the story, so I won't repeat those. I highly recommend this heartfelt story and can assure readers that once they open the book they won't put it down.

The story is one that tugs at your heartstrings and it makes one wonder how he came through everything. But his dedication to literature and his escape into poetry is reflected on every page. Chip takes the reader on a journey narrated in a voice that makes the horror beyond imagination that was his childhood, extending into his young adult years, a story written so beautifully that even the squeamish of heart can read and understand what went into making Chip the person he is.

This book is a must read and I have already recommended it to several people and will post it on my website.

MORGAN ST. JAMES
Silver Sisters Mysteries
[..]

Abuse
Child Abuse and Culture: Working with Diverse Families
Published in Paperback by The Guilford Press (2008-01-18)
Author: Lisa Aronson Fontes
List price: $23.00
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Average review score:

Child Abuse and Culture: Working with Diverse Families
Helpful Votes: 0 out of 2 total.
Review Date: 2007-02-12
Fast service received book in stated condition. Thank You

Something for Everyone
Helpful Votes: 0 out of 0 total.
Review Date: 2006-07-10
As a practicing clinician and college professor, I cannot overstate the importance of this book. As I read it, I realized that we all make quick and often inaccurate assumptions about one another, even when from the same culture. This book forces us to look at all of the ways in which we can oversimplify the behaviors or appearances of others and often jump to false and dangerous conclusions. It is certainly a book that anyone working with people from cultures other than their own (that means most of us)should read. it speaks both to the complexity and importance of the work and challenges us to look more carefully at what we do.

Recource of Monumental Importance for Professionals No Excuse for not reading this one.
Helpful Votes: 1 out of 1 total.
Review Date: 2007-01-12
I have been a forensic interviewer at a Children's Advocacy Center for 9 years now. I train in the area of Forensic interviewing and specifically Diversity. I cannot say enough about the importance of Ms. Fonte's work here. From the perspective of a CAC Forensic Interviewer she is speaking directly to me and my needs in the field with this work.

CAC Executive Directors will find this book invaluable for the Standard Criteria regarding Agency Cultural Competancy. The Standard itself is addressed directly in one full chapter. If you have read this book when your review comes around and worked with it in relation to your Agency, in my humble opinon you will be on the cutting edge of the available thought and practice of Cultural Competancy at your Center. You will get it even if you can't implement it in your area just yet. This is your primer, and a MUST READ for Agency Cultural Competancy.

Ms. Fontes does talk specifically about Puerto Rican and Latino cultures in this volume more so than others, but do not discredit any part of the book for that. There are FAR reaching concepts and a paridigum shift talked about in the introduction by Jon Contes as going beyond Cultural sensitivity into more of an action and result based competency. And the book lives up to that at minimum as a GREAT PLACE TO START.

This book should become a Standard Classic in our field along side of others like Lamb and Poole's book on interviewing from the 90s, and Shame on us in the field if it does not. An interviewer dare not walk in to court anymore without have read and understood Lamb and Poole at least where if fits historically in forensic interviewing. One day this book will be of the same kind of importance.

BRAVO and Thank You To Lisa.

Real solutions to the problems I face in my work
Helpful Votes: 1 out of 1 total.
Review Date: 2006-08-17
I work with a lot of abused children and their families who come from all over the world. I also work with children and families with other problems in a healthcare setting. This book is fabulous, and not just for issues of abuse.

Despite the heady topic, it's a good read. HIghly interesting and engaging. I especially liked the chapter on punishment, discipline, & abuse in different cultures. These are delicate and complex problems and Fontes does a good job explaining them with clarity and wisdom. I now understand why we have such difficulty tackling this issue at work, and I have ideas about how to handle it differently. This book is intelligent and practical at the same time.

Every chapter ends with some questions to "think about and discuss." At first I thought it might be a little corny--but I have brought this book to my workplace and we discussed several of the chapters and the questions. They provided an easy route to important conversations that we had never had before.

I'm going to use it in a social work class I'm teaching next semester! I think it works for beginning students and experienced pros--this is ENTIRELY NEW material and much needed. This author has done her homework!

Excellent choice for graduate students preparing to work in schools
Helpful Votes: 3 out of 3 total.
Review Date: 2006-05-16
Dr. Lisa Aronson Fontes has written a unique and extremely helpful book that is a must read for anyone who works with children and families. I had my graduate students in school counseling read and discuss the book this past year and they found it to be extremely practial, enlightening and applicable to their work. It really engaged and challenged them and sparked an extremely rich and useful dialogue. I have been looking for a book like this for some time now and I am thrilled to have finally found a well researched, compassionate and clearly written book which speaks respectfully to the complexity of these issues.

Abuse
The counter-revolution of science;: Studies on the abuse of reason
Published in Hardcover by Free Press (1955)
Author: Friedrich A. von Hayek
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Hayek on the Sciences
Helpful Votes: 0 out of 0 total.
Review Date: 2008-09-24
The other reviewers on Amazon have done an excellent job summarizing the main points in this book. I will briefly contribute to this discussion by detailing the arguments that stood out to me.

First of all, the book is dividied into two sections: (1) Scientism and the Study of Society; and (2) The Counter-Revolution of Science. The former expounds the differences and peculiar histories of both the social and natural sciences, while the latter seeks to understand the historical development of "scientism", finding its roots in the rationalistic tradition of French (continental) thought.

The first part is the more important section, and should be read carefully. Hayek traces the long escape of natural science from the anthropomorphic thought that characterized the Middle Ages. External events were believed to possess some transcendental reality. Slowly, however, science began to discover explanations of external reality that differed from our common sense perceptions. "Facts", it was argued, are different from "appearances." Note that in this discussion Hayek is not attacking the character of science when it is conducted in its own proper sphere. Science has much to say about the relation of material things to other things (cause and effect, etc.). Scientific study errs, however, when it begins to substitute material explanations for human affairs. There are some phenomena that cannot be explained by their material characteristics. In fact, most phenomena involving human opinions and beliefs cannot be explained by natural science. Hayek gives several illuminating examples to illustrate his case: "words", "sentences", "crimes" "family", "exchange", "money" etc. clearly can only be understood by finding out what people think about these things and not from their objective characteristics.

In this book Hayek shows that the social sciences are fundamentally distinct from the natural sciences because men can only be understood through their beliefs and opinions. A very important work.

To overlook the problems doesn't mean to face them!
Helpful Votes: 0 out of 0 total.
Review Date: 2007-10-08
Friedrich von Hayek has been one of the most ardent exponents of the dreamy hopes of progress and happiness that supposedly, would be brought by the Industrial Revolution.

When the triumph of the polytechnic spirit as he calls it, covers and comprises the whole of human experiences, in such extent to deny any other value it becomes a new sect and really, all of who maintain this belief become heretics due its own fanaticism. He wants to prevent us about the enormous risk of reducing the science to "scientism."

The rereading of this text is especially helpful in these times in which we are immersed in what we might call an ethical deficit of huge proportions that has underpinned the pragmatism to unexpected places. So the fact to expect the science and technology be by themselves the universal antidote, product of a superficial diagnosis or mistaking cause and effect, sooner or later a double cutting doge weapon.

Two brief examples may witness it: the use of DDT resolved a serious problem but also generated another one. And here we have: how to deal and even conciliate a dynamical vitality in our way of life without damage of our environment; because the imminent crisis of "the greenhouse effect" simply cannot wait any longer and obviously will demand and even affect a wide spectrum of the productive forces, no matter how effective negotiator you be at the moment to conciliate both interests in conflict.

The fallacy of misplaced concreteness (A.N. Whitehead)
Helpful Votes: 0 out of 0 total.
Review Date: 2007-08-16
In this book, F.A. Hayek sets some very important nerves blank.
Social sciences study the relations between men and things and between men and men. Some philosophers thought that social sciences should be treated like natural sciences and that the latter's laws were also valid for the former ones. This `scientistic' viewpoint led to the worst absurdities and aberrations in the history of philosophy.

One of the task of science is to constitute `wholes' by constructing models which reproduce the relationship between some of many phenomena observed in real life. `Wholes' (language, market, morals, money, social processes ...) are not natural `units' like flowers, but refer only to certain structures of relationships which we select because we think that we can discern connections between them. However, for some philosophers `wholes' are more than the aggregate of all constituent parts (e.g. human history, societies, economies) and are subject to relatively simple laws. This viewpoint led to the thesis that the coherence of these large entities must be subjected to conscious control.
As F.A. Hayek remarks, phenomena like language, markets, money or morals are not real artifacts, products of deliberate creation, but the outcome of spontaneous processes. There is a crucial difference between influencing spontaneous processes and attempting to replace them by organizations fabricated by conscious control. Nevertheless, for some philosophers, processes which are consciously directed are superior to any spontaneous ones. Man must have complete power to refashion everything in any way he desires. The outcome of these policies was pure determinism, relativism, totalitarianism, collectivism, compulsive planning.

A few examples quoted in this book:
For A. Comte, `freedom equaled the rational submission to the domination of natural laws. Liberty of conscience was an antisocial dogma and a revolting monstrosity.' `There is nothing good and nothing bad; everything is relative; this is the only absolute statement.'
For F. Hegel, `man cannot change the course of history, which is directed by the laws of the development of the human mind.' `All that is real is rational and all that is rational is real.'
The influence of these philosophers (and others) cannot be overestimated until today.

In this book, F. A. Hayek shows how the 'fallacy of misplaced concreteness' generated (generates) disastrous policies for hundreds of millions of humans.
Not to be missed.

A Theoretical-Historical Inquiry into the Constructivism of the Social Sciences
Helpful Votes: 0 out of 0 total.
Review Date: 2007-07-03
This text is yet another testament to the extraordinary erudition of Dr. Hayek, and his ability to convey that methodological subjectivism (or individualism) is the foremost analytical technique for the several social sciences.

What is discomfiting in this work is the historical support that most of our basic ideas are formed early in our academic careers, and only painfully revised in subsequent years. This is particularly troubling for many trained in the scientistic legacy of Saint-Simon, August Comte, Emile Durkheim, Karl Marx, and Hegel. Hopefully, the recrudescent interest in the "economic sociology" of Mises and Weber will free sociology from its scientistic tethers. But I am not confident about that.

Hayek's long-lived philosophical commitment to methodological subjectivism is articulate, and is unmistakably clear in this work. And the Counterrevolution only restates the postulate that social scientists ought not to imitate their more highly paid colleagues in the "hard sciences." And this seems like eminently sound advice for sociologists, and particularly now that the flagship sociology journals are cluttered with, e.g., "religiousity scales," "mentoring scales," and other synechdichocal concepts that are amenable to various measurement scales.

The price of this work is a steal. It must be known, however, that Hayek is an author who challenges readers. And this book is no different.

Understanding the Limits of Reason
Helpful Votes: 15 out of 16 total.
Review Date: 2008-01-18
The Counter Revolution of Science was one in a series of books by Hayek to explore the abuse of reason in the twentieth century. Hayek started his career writing technical economics. Books like Prices and Production and Collectivist Economic Planning were meant to settle issues among economists. Hayek's efforts were initially met with success. Hayek swayed professional opinion on business cycles. Hayek also forced socialists to revise their early proposals. Yet professional opinion turned against Hayek during the mid thirties. Why? Had they proven him wrong? Did they fail to understand why he was right?

How was it that intelligent and educated people could not see the strength of Hayek's arguments? Hayek saw that modern collectivism was working to undo the intellectual progress made during the Age of Reason and the Enlightenment. Collectivism was antithetical to reason, and would lead us to a new Dark Age if not reversed. Persons of the left with surely find this absurd, and their revulsion to Hayek's thesis is consistent with his thesis. The Left does not reject reason explicitly, it abuses reason unwittingly. People on the Left truly believe that they are progressive and scientific, but this is a false belief. Socialists and Welfare State Liberals abuse human reason by failing to see its limits.

I find the sections on Engineers particularly interesting. Hayek's views on Engineers are so diametrically opposed to Veblen's Engineers and the Price System that one must wonder why he did little more than mention Veblen in passing. The Counter Revolution of Science is one of Hayek's best books, and that is saying a lot. The Counter Revolution of Science was important in the twentieth century because it penetrated to the core of intellectual problems of that time. We live in a new century now, but the old problem of abusing reason remains. The Counter Revolution of Science should be read by the entire educated public.

Abuse
The Covered Smile: A True Story
Published in Paperback by Brandylane (2003-02-01)
Author: Sonja Lauren
List price: $15.00
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A passion to educate...
Helpful Votes: 0 out of 0 total.
Review Date: 2007-12-03
In The Covered Smile, first-time author Sonja Lauren shows her reader a new dimension of childhood neglect. By the so-tender age of 13, a child of poverty in a small West Virginia town, Ms. Lauren had all her teeth surgically extracted. The author believes she may be the youngest child ever to have this experience and her passion to educate so that others will never know her trauma emanates strongly from the pages of this slender book.

Ms. Lauren begins her memoir at her "moment of truth"--27 years old and in her dentist's office. Because her current dentures are ill-fitting, embarrassing, and causing both speech and eating disorders, she believes that new dentures will resolve her problems. Thus she is completely unprepared for the shocking facts she hears. She no longer has enough bone in her jaw to support dentures, will need several expensive implant surgeries over the course of a year, and then will require much more expensive dentures to connect with the implants.

In shock, pain, and deep anger, she goes home wondering how she can afford her needs. Her long-suppressed childhood memories begin to emerge, and we journey back to her childhood home where, with grace, she shows parents unable to care for her and her younger sister. We meet her adopted older sister who has learned to cook and clean and bathe Ms. Lauren and her sibling. When her older sister marries and leaves home, it triggers the author's acting-out behavior. At age 6, she is diagnosed as a troubled child and, among other behaviors, begins to frequently suck on candy and chew gum as comforting devices.

Clearly, the title is not only about hiding decayed teeth but also the demeanor of a neglected child. Ms. Lauren shows us the skills she developed in order to survive in a very literal way. One of her mother's dysfunctions was an inability (based in deep fear) to care for any illnesses or injuries her daughters sustained. Lack of self-care education at home and school led rapidly to one of the inevitable consequences--serious oral decay and infection along with other serious social consequences. In emergency situations, she describes her dentists. The first impatiently tells her mother that since the young Lauren will not care properly for her teeth, she should have them all pulled at age 16. In an emergency visit not long after, another dentist angrily tells her parents that Ms. Lauren has been neglected and they are responsible for not assuring she properly cared for her teeth. Decades later, the author's search to re-connect with her history leads her back to the dentist's chart note from that day--"Absolutely the worst dental case I have ever seen."

Lauren does an excellent job of showing her reader how a neglected child experiences the parent/child relationship in reverse. The chapters progress with a primary focus on her dental experiences as a child, move into her pre-teen extractions, and continue with the lonely, bloody aftermath of two oral surgeries. Ultimately, she discusses her permanent handicaps and how such trauma could have been prevented.

The lovely young woman on the book cover is the author's daughter Angelica, whose hand hides a smile her mother was determined would never need to be hidden. Angelica is "the incredible force that pushed me into therapy at the age of twenty-five. I knew the minute my child was born that she would not suffer as I had. I can recall the day when Angelica began to cut her baby teeth. Each night, I carefully wiped each tooth clean before bedtime. Angelica still has never had a cavity."

We accompany Lauren as she receives her implant surgeries, new dentures and follow-up care in the face of enormous cost. The goodness of the many professionals is demonstrated when they find room in their hearts and practices to help those in need. The author's strength of spirit is also powerfully moving, particularly in one of the last chapters when she addresses a frequently asked question, "Have you forgiven your parents?"

The book contains solid basic oral hygiene education as well as the newest findings. Oral health is clearly linked to overall health. Chapters 14 and 15 are written by two dentists, and the appendix describes ways to help children avoid Lauren's path.

I connected most strongly to the author's word snapshots of being a small, unkempt child alone in her "dark, dirty bedroom staring out the window" while enduring the pain of a tooth infection or a physical injury. In extreme situations only, would she would go to her parents for help. She feels responsible if her mother becomes unduly upset. She feels guilty when her dental care creates financial problems for her parents. Thus, Lauren links her writing with one of my own passions--to show readers the inner world of the neglected or abused child in order to promote education, understanding, and one day, hopefully, obliteration of the destruction of precious, young psyches.

(This review also appears at www.storycirclebookreviews.org)
The Covered Smile: A True Story

The Covered Smile
Helpful Votes: 1 out of 2 total.
Review Date: 2003-04-22
Sonja Lauren has a well-written memoir that moves through the details of her childhood neglect and informs the reader about the dangers of parental ignorance with every sentence. She writes about dental neglect, a problem few of us imagine. As the child who lived it and the adult who tells it, she shows courage, honesty, and perserverance. I'm sure THE COVERED SMILE will touch the lives of many and be a strong voice for children. This book will make a difference.

Triumph of spirit
Helpful Votes: 2 out of 4 total.
Review Date: 2003-04-22
It's difficult to imagine this story occurring in late 20th century America, but it is not that uncommon. Sonja Lauren is one of the rare victims who has the strength and talent to shed light on the results of child physical and emotional neglect in hopes that fewer children will have to suffer as she did. Sonja's tale of overcoming a horrendous childhood in a dysfunctional family will shock you and then warm your heart. Her persistence and insistence in being a good mother herself, despite her own physical problems, offer hope and inspiration to all readers. Despite her trials, Sonja has recovered and forgiven, and her spirit has triumphed. Read her story, learn her lessons, and share her elation.

Amazing Journey
Helpful Votes: 3 out of 4 total.
Review Date: 2004-03-04
Sonja's journey through life thus far has been a difficult one, but she has been able to turn all of her adversities into life-affirming experiences. She is a loving, caring and forgiving individual and the perfect example of the meaning of Romans 5:3-4("....we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.")

Her book is an eye-opening story all parents and medical personnel should read.

The Covered Smile
Helpful Votes: 4 out of 6 total.
Review Date: 2003-05-01
The Covered Smile, by Sonja Lauren-

I read this book in two days, I could not put it down. It is a story of survival and triumph of the human spirit over poverty, neglect and pain. As a counselor, it brought home to me just how much impact we can have on a child's life for better or for worse.


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