Abuse Books

This book is one of the best I have read on addictive behaviors. Most of these titles have one or two chapters that are helpful, while the rest are mediocre. This volume has valuable insight from cover to cover. Although not a specifically Christian work, the author does encourage people who struggle with an addiction to call upon a higher power. I recommend this book highly.

Wow, what can I say. A book that really helps the user to understand themselves and why they continue to do what they do and ways to help themselves as well as reach out for the help they need to break their addiction. Helps them to understand relapse and what it really means and how to deal with it. Highly recommended for the family too. ANOTHER GREAT BOOK [ASIN:156838999X Addict In The Family: Stories of Loss, Hope, and Recovery.]meant for the family how to really understand the user and how we enable the user without knowing it... how to stop enabling while giving love and support to the user leading them to recovery Helps the user understand how their substance use really affects the ones they love and the family dynamics.

I sent this book to my cousin. She has battled seriously with addiction. She told me that she enjoyed it very much, and that there was a lot of usefull information. She said she would continue to use it as a reference tool.

Willpower is not Enough is the best book on addiction that i have read so far and i have read dozens. it gives a brilliant breakdown of the personality traits that most addicts tend to have, why people become addicts and why they continue to use drugs despite such painful consequences, the typical kinds of families that addicts tend to come from, what drugs really offer the drug addict that make the consequences so worth it, what codependents get out of their obsession, and finally a step by step guide explaining how to pull oneself out of the hopeless cycle of addiction and into healthy living. this book is comprehensive, brilliant, original, brave, and hopeful.

As an addiction counselor, I am always looking for books to recommend to my clients. This book in my opinion is one of the best out there. I usually will have my clients read this along with "7 Tools to Beat Addiction" by Stanton Peele. This gives them an understanding of two very different ways of approaching the problem and between the two you get a pretty comprehensive overview of treatment strategies.

Always good to be open to all choices.
Very detailed and helpful.

provides insightful thoughts and alternative viewpoints to attacking route causes and focus to vexing problems -- not just alcohol

Kuddos to Ms Solomon for helping break us out of this religious tyranny. A much needed resource guide
to other approaches to alcoholism and addiction. My impression is that AA is just about the best recovery
program the 12th century has to offer. It is time to get into reality based programs with some scientific
basis as opposed to this faith based psycho-christian nonsense.

AA Not the Only Way is a resource for those seeking addiction counselling. Everyone has heard of AA but this type of program quite simply does not work for everyone. The author has personal experience in this situation. She tried AA and like many people when she kept relapsing she blamed herself for somehow failing the program. This pattern changed when the author found a program that suited her needs and specific issues.

Since AA does not suit everyone's needs and because most people don't realize that they have other options, the author has compiled information on alternate programs. Some programs require total abstinence and others look to teach moderation. There are also programs specifically tailored for women or specifically for men. The overlying philosophy, background, and contact information is included for each of these programs. Lists of licensed professionals, treatment centers, and other useful resources are also included.

Reviewed by Louise Landeta for Reader Views (2/07)

The author's main point is that there are many other programs and approaches to dealing with addictive behaviors besides Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and its twelve steps; yet the alternatives, while perhaps known within the recovery community, are not widely made known or available. She contends that AA is not as effective as most people think--her statistics are quite dismal, and some of the other programs have much more success. Mainly, Ms. Solomon wants to drive home the fact that while AA might be good for some people, and she has nothing against it, there are numerous other approaches that are effective as well. People are diverse and need diverse approaches to fit their individual needs.

Ms. Solomon shares the pitfalls of her own journey with addictive substances and her attempts to find help and support through AA to no avail, even though her own father was quite successful with the program. Her inability to recover through AA was a source of great sadness for her until she came to realize that lots of other people fail to recover through it as well. It was only through her own unrelenting search for alternatives that she found other programs and eventually something that worked for her.

The author is a good writer--her verbiage and syntax are on par, she provides data to back up her contentions, the content is well-organized and she cites her sources.

The basic theme in her thesis is that not everyone accepts the concept of a higher power and the basic assumption that they are helpless in the face of addiction. I believe this is a valid point. My only suggestion is that she seems to soft pedal this. I would be more comfortable if she would come right out with it--don't skirt around it. Be right up front with it.

I was interested in reviewing "AA Not the Only Way" because my work as a chaplain brings me into contact with various types of addicts. It will remain in my library as a useful future resource. I give it an A for all of the reasons cited above.

In the 1950's and 60's black people in the U.S. were trying to get voting rights and the right to be able to go to public school. The book Belle Teal is a historical fiction by Anne M. Martin.
This story is about a girl named Belle Teal. She is in the 5th grade and she is going to school in the 1960's when blacks were newly allowed into the public schools. Three of her new classmates are black. Some of her white classmates disapprove of the blacks in their school. There is even a protest outside the school. Belle Teal and the black boy become friends and even though she is made fun of she still sticks by her new friend. Many times this gets her in trouble with her fellow classmates.
I felt this book was very good. It was very descriptive so it was easy to visualize. I think this book will definately be considered a classic. When I started to read this book I could not put it down.
This book is very moving and when you read it you feel as if you are standing right next to the characters. I would recommend this book to anyone who likes (or loves) history. I consider this my favorite book.

Author: Ann M. Martin
# of pages: 215
Publisher and Publication date: Scholastic Paperbacks-September 2001
ISBN: 0439098238
Price: $15.95


Imagine being a little girl that doesn't have very many friends, until someone new moves to her town. If you like books that give good detail and you could picture yourself there, then this is the book for you. In this book they teach you something, it gives you a message.

To begin this book has a great message. The message is you can't judge someone by the way someone else judges someone. Second, it makes you actually feel like it's something that's really happening. It describes things good and brings the characters to life. All in all it makes you feel like your really there. It gives really descriptive detail.

This book kind of reminds me of my life, because I don't really have that many friends. The family in this book is modern when it comes to having money, and mine is the same. This book is so good, because you feel like you could just jump into it, and go right along with the story.

People who don't really like a lot of action in a book, should read this book. Girls would mostly like this book. My friend Danielle Bolin had just checked out this book, and I told her that it was a really good book. I said" so how did you like the book?" and she replied "it was very interesting and I really liked it!" The age that would like it best would range from about 9 to 13. Females would like it best rather than males. Boys that are into games, action, and things like that would probably not like this book.

What sticks out to me the most is that Belle Teal doesn't care what people think about her or her friends, and the message. You should read this book. So remember if you like books with good descriptive detail, then this is the book for you.

This book is about Hattie Owen, an average 11 year old girl. She struggles through the secrets in her life. Like her Uncle Adam that has a mental illness. And because of him she gains and loses friends. Adam is soon to bring out the streghth in her. I am a very picky reader and it is hard for me to love any books but "Harry Potter." But this book was great and I hope others read and like it too.

This was a very moving book about a young girl who is growing up in a time when African Americans were first starting to go to the school that the white children go to in America. The plot tells about Belle Teal who starts school in the Fall and expects everything to be the same as the years before she had attended Cocker Elementry School. When saying this, I mean having the same best friend, taking the same bus everyday, having the same life at home. However, this all changes when she steps onto the school bus and finds Vanessa, a girl who thinks she's better than everyone else, and later when she goes into school and finds a colored boy in her classroom. Also, her grandmother is getting older and is slowly losing her memory. All of these events show Belle Teal about growing up and dealing with conflicts along the way. Belle starts out as a child and finishes as a young adult. This was an excellant and touching read to young to middle readers.

I read this book with my mother and we both enjoyed the book alot, because it was a touching peice about a girl who lives with her mother and grandmother. Other charcters in the book is a rich mean girl but the reason she is mean is because her mother was dead then there is a black boy named Darel, and Darl and Belle become friends. I liked it alot and i enjoyed it with my mom It is interasting and controdersial.

I recently began working with families with children with FASD and this book has been helpful for me to "hear" the child better. I also love the pages of helpful resources in the back. I am now lending it to some of the parents I work with so they can "hear" their children better. Very inspiring.

As a mother with a soon to be FASD teen, I totally appreciated the support of this read, highly recommended!

My teenage daughter wanted to know more about how her cousins (three with full FAS) saw the world. Clearly understandable and relevant to teens, she thought the book was excellent and full of good information.

This is a great book. Not written by a textbook expert, but written by real-world experts = a FAS child and her mom. People who daily live with the effects of this birth defect. My husband and I both read it and learned practical, tried approaces. Thanks to Liz and her mom!

Awesome..very much to my heart. I have a 14 yr. old grandson with FAS.

What fun this book is! Too bad all history books are not so entertaining and informative. We might all benefit from understanding the history of the economics and culture that underpin drug trafficking in the 21st century. If history and economics were always written in such an engaging way, nobody would ever flunk out of History 101 or find it boring.

I'm an obscure history buff and when I saw this one it piqued my interest. This is part history, part science and part sociology and the author makes this a more interesting subject than I thought it could be. He starts off with what he calls the Big Three: Alcohol, Tobacco and Caffiene. From there he breaks it further down citing the most popular and not so popular illegal drugs. Mentioning natural stimulants that are unfamiliar to most, such as Qat, Kava and Betel and the very descriptive reasons on why they did not take to popular consumption.

Courtwright also doesn't fail to mention that, even though with best intentions, scientists around the 1800's and the turn of the century were also responsible for some of the most addictive substances. Your jaw will drop when you read who devolped heroin and what is was originally used for.

Fun, informative, and mind blowing reading.

I was attracted to this book originally because I had read one of Courtwright's other books, "Violent Land," and was very much impressed. Courtwright seems to be building a career on the study of the historical dimensions of deviance--which is important for all of us when we try to look at today's problems in perspective. A major theme of "Forces of Habit" is that some drugs, such as coffee, tea, tobacco, alcohol, and chocolate have become "world drugs" due to the efforts of the international pushers known as "the West." Other drugs, such as qat, kava, and betel have never caught on in the West and, as a result, have not been made into international commodities complete with huge multi-continent plantations and a complex distribution system. The West, however, has now decided that some drugs are bad because they don't work well in complex, industrialized society--cocaine, heroin, etc. Even though the British were once the major distributors of Opium, literally forcing it on the Chinese, they now oppose it. "Forces of Habit" is a fascinating but quick tour of many aspects of the history of drugs from a macro perpective. If you are looking for more details on specific drugs or a detailed analysis of a particular era, Courtwright does offer an annotated bibliography to guide you. If all you want is an overview, this is a great place to start.

"Forces of Habit: Drugs and the Making of the Modern World" by David T. Courtwright (Harvard University Press, 277 pp, $24.95) is a vivid account of the global spread of psychoactive drugs over the last 500 years. The University of North Florida historian defines drugs broadly enough to include not just the usual suspects like heroin and marijuana, but also generally legal drugs such as tobacco, alcohol and caffeine.

Courtwright's witty writing should appeal to those with a taste for black humor. The author possesses a seemingly infinite supply of vivid examples about the impact of drugs on humanity, and even upon the animal kingdom. Lions, he notes, "have learned to prey upon drunks staggering home at night from East African roadside bars."

"Forces of Habit" can help modern white-collar workers banned from smoking indoors reflect on the ferocious anti-smoking campaigns that earlier tobacco addicts endured. While American smokers are forced to risk pneumonia each winter while they puff away in the freezing doorways of office buildings, "Russian smokers suffered beatings and exile; snuff takers had their noses torn off. Chinese smokers had their heads impaled on pikes. Turkish smokers under the reign of Ahmed I endured pipe stems thrust through their noses."

Ironies abound in "Forces of Habit." Alcoholics Anonymous' co-founders, Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith, "both smoked heavily and died of cigarette-related illnesses." (Today, AA chapters searching for meeting places are bedeviled by the new prohibitions on indoor smoking. Reformed alcoholics often want to smoke to relieve the tension of staying on the wagon.)

But Courtwright has serious ambitions as well.

"This book," he writes, "grew out of a broader curiosity about psychoactive commerce, a ubiquitous -- and, I now believe, defining -- feature of the modern world."

This leads Courtwright to rewrite much of human history from a, well, drugocentric viewpoint. "The domestication of fire," he informs us, "made widespread drug use possible in the first place." A few eons later, "The Apollo 11 astronauts," he notes, "were drinking coffee three hours after landing on the moon."

"Forces of Habit" is thus in the grand tradition of the Monomaniacal School of History. It stands comparison to such valuable works as William McNeill's "Plagues and Peoples" and Daniel Yergin's "The Prize," which explained the history of the world in terms of germs and oil, respectively.

Courtwright's vast goals are assisted by his defining "psychoactive drug" expansively enough to include coffee and chocolate. He even tentatively discusses sugar. I'm not sure why he didn't ultimately accept sugar as "psychoactive." Those of us with little kids have certainly seen sugar's impact on brain chemistry.

One problem with his semi-sprawling approach to defining "psychoactive drugs" is that it's not clear where to draw the line. If I drink a glass of warm milk to help me fall asleep, does that make milk psychoactive? Or would it be "psychodeactive?"

When going on a family outing, I always insist that we bring along some high-calorie, high-fat foods like cheese sticks. Few things end screaming tantrums faster than cheese. And it helps mellow out my kids, too. So, is cheese a psychoactive drug, just like crack and crank?

What about sunshine? The vitamin D it produces seldom fails to cheer me up.

Is a tan also a drug?

Evidently, Courtwright defines a drug as a chemical that wasn't around for most of human evolution. He takes a Darwinian perspective on the desire for drugs.

"Humans evolved in itinerant band societies. Life in the sedentary peasant societies that succeeded them was less varied, fulfilling, egalitarian and healthful. Taking drugs to get through the daily grind (or to treat the intestinal and parasitic diseases attendant to settled life) is peculiar to civilization. ... Such practices are further clues, if any are needed, that our social circumstances are out of sync with our evolved natures."

Drugs apparently produce artificially the pleasurable brain chemistry reactions that evolution devised to reward our distant caveman ancestors for engaging in hunting and other behaviors essential to survival. Perhaps this explains the terrible alcoholism problems currently suffered by the indigenous tribes -- such as American Indians, Eskimos and Australian aborigines -- who have only recently given up the primordial hunter-gatherer lifestyle.

Of course, New World Indians had their own native drugs to share with Columbus. According to Courtwright's bottomless bag of memorable quotes, the fanatically anti-smoking and anti-drinking Adolf Hitler called tobacco, "the wrath of the Red Man against the White Man, vengeance for having been given hard liquor." (Perhaps, though, Hitler showed that power is the most dangerous drug of all.)

Courtwright dislikes drugs, but what he really hates is capitalism. "The peculiar, vomitorious genius of modern capitalism," he expounds, "is its ability to betray our senses with one class of products or services and then sell us another to cope with the damage so that we can go back to consuming more of what caused the problem in the first place."

Rich merchants and Western European governments generally encouraged drug commerce well into the 19th century. The relatively recent growth of temperance movements and at least partially effective government controls on drugs, Courtwright asserts, were a response to the industrial revolution changing what capitalists required from workers. Before industrialization, landlords could keep fieldworkers in debt-slavery by getting them addicted to expensive alcohol or opium. Drunken factory workers, though, would break expensive machinery.

"The growing cost of the abuse of manufactured drugs turned out to be a fundamental contradiction of capitalism," claims Courtwright. On the other hand, one could also argue that the historically high level of sobriety reigning in today's hyper-capitalistic information economy -- where caffeine is the only acceptable drug -- demonstrates that free markets can encourage self-control.

Many economists, most notably Milton Friedman, have suggested legalizing all drugs. They point out that the outlawing of drugs generates crime, just as Prohibition did.

The historian Courtwright, however, believes these economists are living in a theoretical dreamland. The "dangers of exposing people to psychoactive substances for which, it is increasingly clear, they lack evolutionary preparation" means that the "answer, whatever it may be, is not a return to a minimally regulated drug market."

I fear this is true, but I would have liked to have seen Courtwright grapple more directly with the libertarian economists' arguments. Historians love facts, but distrust logic, while economists don't like to mess up their beautiful theories with too much reality. Perhaps someday, a thinker equally at home with both the history and theory of drugs will resolve this crucial quandary. Until then, "Forces of Habit" makes a fine introduction.

This book is great fun, not least because of the author's extraordinary skill in the efficient delivery of interesting facts. The opening chapters, which detail the origins of the world's major drugs, are among the most informative I've read.

The second half of the book, while still engrossing, is a less comprehensive historic analysis of drug use and prohibition. Courtwright concentrates on economics at the expense of culture, emphasizing production and commerce rather than demand and moral opposition. Given the enormous social influences in the modern world, such as the American cultural war against 60's drug use and the pervasive use of alcohol and tobacco as social tools, the emphasis on money and power over cultural forces in the past strikes me as an incomplete analysis. It leads the author to unconvincingly argue that American prohibition and its repeal were primarily the results of economic interests (a "contradiction of capitalism"). Oddly, the same events in the Soviet Union are attributed to "popular resistance", without any comparative discussion of the two nations. Finally, the value of pleasure and the concept of individual rights are generally neglected.

In the end, my main problem with is that Courtwright doesn't give culture the excellent and amusing treatment he gives commerce. I can think of worse things to say about a book.

Why should a conscious act of evil be forgiven? A person chose to commit an evil act on the victim of their own free will. It was a decision, an act of conscious evil.
To forgive someone for that is somewhat ridiculous. Its a bit like getting punched in the face and then immediately saying 'I forgive you.' What good does it serve? That doesnt mean you wallow in hatred or self-loathing.
But I find the notion that somehow the victim to 'forgive' themselves, has to 'forgive' the person who consciouslly committed an evil act on a defenseless child is repulsive. In some way it seems to remove the consciousness and willfullness from the crime.
I think a better word is acceptance. Acceptance in the victim that him/her was abused, that they were betrayed, that it was wrong, that evil does indeed exist in this world, and acceptance of the hardships this trauma put into their life.
In this way the abused can see the abuser as just a form of evil that existed in the past and put it behind them. Frankly why does the abuser deserve another thought from the abused?

Lois Einhorn's book is nothing short of heroic. She has spoken for many children, particularly girls. The little girls who were small and helpless, who had to remain silent to survive. She has made it clear, at least to me, that none of us are alone in our journey to become whole.

This is a book for anyone who has reason to believe or suspect they have been abused. This is a book written from the heart of a child, not a Therapist, removing the techical terminology. If the memories are repressed, this book will bring them out of the dark and into conciousness, at least in glimpses. It is at this point, though not easy, the memories will start to heal. We cannot heal if we do not see what is in need of healing.

Lois Einhorn is an angel, a brave and selfless angel.

The format for this book is what makes it so helpful. Lois offers no solutions, no formulas, no "pat" answers, no "shoulds". Instead, she allows the guest contributors to pose responses (not answers) to her questions about forgiveness, shame, blame, guilt, and about self-forgiveness. I found it to be very therapeutic to read through it, one brief chapter at a time, and then to take "time out" after each one to reflect a little on my own situation and decide how the ideas of various contributors meshed, or conflicted with my own. I found my own thoughts and feelings changing, shifting, emerging, and transforming as I reflected on the ideas being presented.

I liked that the book allowed for a wide range of conflicting points of view - which made me even more aware of how forgiveness needs to be an individual choice and an individual process - if it is pursued at all. There is no question that this is one of the most important healing resources available to people who are carrying wounds and burdens that need to be addressed. I am about to begin re-reading it now (one short chapter a day is the way that works best for me - to allow the necessary self-reflection time. I would highly recommend it for anyone who serves to help other people to let go of wounded energies, and to those who carry the unresolved trauma inside of themselves. It is an important piece of work and a brilliant alternative to all the useless "how-to" manuals that are a waste of time when dealing with issues of complicated trauma and abuse.

Dr. Einhorn's personal story is not an easy read. Her personal story of victimization is worse than anything I can imagine, and the fact that she has the bravery and courage to share her pain and her triumphant recovery with the world, through this book, is a testiment to the strength of the Spirit of Good-Will that lives deeper than the most evil demons that lurk within us all. I feel blessed to have run across this book and I am sure that it has moved me forward in huge steps in terms of my understanding of what it means to forgive, let go, and move on. Thank you, Lois Einhorn. God Bless you. Your willingness to illuminate the personal process, if not the pathway to healing makes you not just a wise communicator, but a respected leader in my books.

Reviewed by LuAnn Morgan for RebeccasReads (6/08)

When Lois Einhorn was a child, she endured unspeakable abuse. She was beaten, tortured and sexually assaulted by the two people who were entrusted to nurture and care for her - her parents. In writing this book, Ms. Einhorn asked a variety of people from all walks of life to read her story and contemplate the answer to the question, "Would you forgive?" The answers she received ran through an entire gamut of alternatives. Some said yes, others said no. Yet, it was the ones who refused to answer or who shared their feelings and left the answer up to her (and the reader) that make up the most crucial responses. These are the opinions that seem to bring the readers closer to the heart of the issue as it forces them to think about what they themselves would do in a similar situation.

The book begins with a brief history of what Einhorn (and her sister) went through as children. The heart-rending tale of the horrors these two little girls lived with day in and day out will make the reader take pause and thank God for the parents he or she had.
Could anything be worse than a child forced to crawl around on all fours for an entire day, while being beaten and gorged with wires and electrocuted? Could anything be worse than being tortured and forced to torture your own sister and kill animals?
The answer, unfortunately, is yes. What is truly worse is to live with the after-effects of growing up in those conditions and then, having to suffer the guilt of taking part in the psychotic schemes of two obviously disturbed adults.

That's what Einhorn had to come to terms with and it's the reason behind the book.
The responders include journalists, authors, doctors, trauma experts, psychologists, actors, activists, researchers, educators, politicians, religious leaders and more. They also include men who for one reason or another are serving time in prison for their own crimes against society.

The answers will, at times, make the reader angry, especially when they question Einhorn's feelings. The fact that she survived and went on to make enormous strides in her life is nothing short of miraculous. She has every reason to be commended for her contributions as an adult to the world we all face daily.

Truly, this book ranks at the top of those contributions. It is a book that will provide solace to those who have faced similar violence and to those who haven't. They are the ones who need to come to an acceptance and understanding about the suffering many children have to endure. They are also the ones who can step forward and try to put a stop to that same suffering.

I found "Forgiveness and Child Abuse" nothing short of phenomenal. It's a wonderfully candid and thoughtful book that takes the reader on a voyage of discovery into a world few are privy to. This book will stay on my shelf until I meet someone who needs it for their own healing. At that point, I will pass it on.

I found an article on Lois Einhorn's book in the newsletter of A Course in Miracles, and instantly knew I must have it. When I read the book, I could not take my eyes from the pages. I recognized in Lois a kindred soul, and recognized also the self-contempt and selfhatred we as torture-victims have etched into our soul.
As most abuse-survivors know, it is so difficult to let go of this self-hatred: it comes from being programmed to believe that what happened, happened because we deserved it, because we were inherent GUILTY. It's lodged in our cells. Daniel Quinn, one of the 53 people who gave their view on forgiving the unforgivable, writes: "The torture devised by your parents for you and your sister was specially designed to destroy your humanity by forcing you to become torturers yourselves."
And: "The scar they wanted you to bear forever was a guilt that must seem unforgivable no matter how clearly it's shown to be understood."
By writing this now, I still feel the tremendous gratitude I felt by reading Quinn's words - recognizing the truth in them - as well as the other 52 writers' contribution. For anyone having been abused, knows that it all comes down to forgiving, and we surely need all the help we can get on HOW to forgive. The book lifted me up and allowed me to see my own shining humanity: it was not destroyed. It allowed me to look deeply into my torturers' soul; and find it there too; hidden behind a guilt so deep that they needed to put it on someone outside themselves to survive.
And I felt a huge joy spread inside: as an adult, I could have chosen to do the same with my child - and I did not.
So where there was selfhatred and agonizing selfcontempt and disgust before, is joy now. We can survive, when we remember who we truly are - and this book has helped me to remember.

I have worked in the domestic violence field and related fields for 20 years and this book has been a guiding light
throughout. I am delighted to remind readers that there are new chapters and that the book has been thoroughly updated. More information can be found on the website [...]. With such a strong history and the latest in important thinking this book is an incredible resource. It remains a great gift to the field and to countless survivors and their loved ones.

I left my partner 6 weeks ago. There were so many signs that I didn't recognize until I had left and until I read this book. The exercises are realistic, and very very helpful. I am searching for more, I wish this book never ended so that I could receive daily readings from this author!

Could have been alot more helpful. A lot more.

Great book for empowering women, but there are some problems due to its age. The most glaring is the claim that there is "no persuasive evidence that children are happier or healthier in a two-parent than a one-parent home" - there is now a wealth of empirical evidence to demonstrate that children are certainly better off emotionally with two parents, and even more tellingly, with their biological parents. This must be considered when making the decision whether to leave or stay.

Few think of escaping verbal, emotional or physical abuse as shortcuts to freedom, but it surely is, and is likely the only route to get there. Babysitting abusers is rotten work, and keeps them from "facing the music," robbing both of what might be happy lives. Anyone who is an abuser deserves to go it alone, and has "earned that right" many times over, usually at the expense of the abused.

brilliant psychiatrist, I recommend That's How the Light Gets In: Memoir of a Psychiatrist by Susan Rako, M.D. The title comes from a song by Leonard Cohen: "There is a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." Rako's book is remarkably candid, freshly insightful, and wonderfully well-written. It is a great read. The writing just flows.

This is a must read for counsellors working with dissociative clients. It is well-written, easy to understand (although the problem of dissociative disorder is very complex) and gives practical advice and strategies.

This book is just wonderfull! I deeply enjoyed reading it - and much more :) - applying its concepts and practical guidelines into the complex clinical work with traumatized individuals. Myself, psychotherapist, child and adolescent psychiatrist in Ukraine - I found this book most clinically useful book I have read in few last years about trauma-related disorders. It gives clarity into this very complex dimensions of inner and outer lives of chronically traumatized individuals and it helps to empathically understand their suffering. From this empathic understanding well-paced and well-structured therapy can take place. And from my clinical practice I saw how useful and effective are concepts and practical therapeutic guidelines from this book. So I highly recommend this book for everyone working in the field of trauma-related disorders, and I also highly recommend this book to publishers for translations and publication in other languages. This knowledge must become widely available so we can better assist traumatized individuals in their inner healing. Special thanks to authors for their great work!

Treating people with dissociative disorders is a very difficult enterprise for which most mental health professionals are poorly prepared. Education programs neglect the area and even otherwise reputable textbooks are unhelpful. Many members of the community and even quite senior mental health professionals display a lack of understanding and even scepticism and antagonism to the very concept of dissociation. This is directed towards those who suffer from dissociative disorders and those who try to treat them. Thus sufferers are often isolated from effective help and clinicians also are isolated, poorly prepared and often at a loss as to how to embark on the complex task of therapy when they do encounter people with such problems.

"The Haunted Self" provides a scholarly, comprehensive and practical work for everyone interested in the area and is particularly helpful as a guide and a resource for poorly isolated clinicians. It is a wonderful work of creative synthesis of 150 years of work in the field of dissociation. While not neglecting the work of more contemporary thinkers, the authors own their great debt to the work Pierre Janet carried out 100 years ago. With some important exceptions, Janet's brilliant insights into the field of "hysteria" and dissociation have been neglected in the English speaking world. The authors' enviable command of European languages gives them access to his and other important works not published or neglected in English.

The book provides an excellent balance of the theoretical and the practical. It is set out in 3 sections. The first deals with the authors' concept of structural dissociation, the second deals with chronic traumatisation and links it to Janet's theories while the third sets out an approach to treatment.

Traumatic experiences at any age can have serious consequences and this is covered in the book. In childhood,in particular, early trauma such as abuse and neglect, of a physical, sexual or emotional nature, exert pervasive, destructive effects, which may extend far into adult life. The authors point out that children have pathetically inadequate resources with which to cope with the horrors to which, tragically, they are sometimes subjected. They refer to Janet's concept of their having an inadequate "mental level" i.e. integrative capacity to cope adaptively with these experiences. They coined and developed the term "structural dissociation" to describe the complex response to such abuse.

The authors develop the concept of of "action systems." These are psychobiological responses which can be divided into two major groups - those in response to attractive stimuli and those which defend against noxious ones. Traumatic situations in childhood often evoke both responses simultaneously e.g. a response to an abusive caregiver in which fear and attraction are mingled giving rise to intolerable conflict. Such intense feelings and the unbearable terror and arousal produced by trauma are referred to as "vehement emotions."



The book describes the impact of these powerful feelings in producing a loss of integration and cohesion in the personality. As a result intolerable feelings and memories are segregated from complete awareness and traumatised people move between different identity states. In some states they are locked into traumatic events which are constantly re-experienced with their associated overwhelming emotions. In other states they are cut off from the memories and experiences of the trauma and are phobic and avoidant towards anything that threatens to remind them of the trauma and of the internal states which carry the trauma experiences.

Charles Myers' work with soldiers from World War I is recalled. He described splits into what he called "Apparently normal personalities" and "Emotional personalities" in response to combat trauma giving rise to structural dissociation.

The second section focuses on Janet's theories in relation to trauma. As the authors say, "the inclusion of Janet's work is not a romantic flight into history. His ideas on actions are most helpful and practical in understanding the plight of trauma survivors"

And so they are although, initially, I myself had to exert a fair amount of effort to understand and start to apply these concepts. I think most people unfamiliar with Janet's work would have similar problems but the effort is very worth while. Interestingly, although clinicians brought up with other theoretical models may share my problem, I have found that the concepts, are easily grasped and make perfect sense to people struggling with trauma related disorders. Concepts such as synthesis, presentification, personification and action tendencies and their hierarchies are discussed in depth and applied to clinical problems.

The final section on treatment begins with a useful section on assessment. It then outlines a three phase approach to treatment. The first phase involves stabilisation and symptom reduction, the second the treatment of traumatic memories and the third personality integration and rehabilitation.

Those who read The Haunted Self will quickly discern that it is the work of highly skilled clinicians not simply theorists. All who have battled with the problems of trauma affected people will recognise that the authors have travelled the same paths and will find their guidance very valuable.

I have stressed the worth of this excellent book to clinicians but a number of my more sophisticated patients have also found reading it very valuable. It is certainly a wonderful validation of this body of work that it does make so much sense to those very people who have to live their lives with the consequences of trauma.

David Leonard

What an exceptional book! The step-wise didactic clarity and innovative content of The Haunted Self alone would suffice to justify making the book required reading material for all health professionals encountering trauma victims. However, it is also a remarkably thrilling reading experience, reminiscent of the "haunted-house" stories of my youth. One finds oneself led to familiar areas through "hidden stairways" and suddenly comes to perceive and comprehend things from unexpected angles.
As a psychiatrist specializing in trauma as a clinician, a lecturer and a researcher for nearly 20 years, I found this book to be a fitting and eloquent summary of over 25 years of innovative thought, thorough research and ongoing re-assessment of the theoretical and clinical applications of Trauma-Related Structural Dissociation of the Personality by Van der Hart, Nijenhuis and Steele, whose ongoing publications in leading journals I have followed avidly. The theoretical basis is coherently and systematically presented in the opening section, followed by a section which concisely and didactically addresses the clinical applications, from guidelines for patient assessment and formulation of the treatment plan, and then deals in detail with each stage, with ample guidance and clinical examples. The lay-out of the book also conveniently enables selective reading of independent sections and topics. There is a refreshing undercurrent of humility to the book - the reader feels encouraged to examine and comment freely.
Without seeking to replace or compete with other trauma theories or treatment modalities, the authors present an over-arching and unifying conceptual approach to comprehending the psycho-biological underpinnings of a highly variable and challenging population of patients, who quite commonly present with a complex and confusing array of atypical and changeable clinical and therapeutic issues, only partly addressed by current diagnostic criteria and treatment guidelines.
The structural conception of dissociation enhances ones understanding not only of PTSD and Complex PTSD, Dissociative Identity Disorder and cases of severe protracted physical and sexual abuse, but clarifies the contribution of trauma to Borderline Personality Disorder, Somatoform Disorders and certain physical syndromes characteristically associated with emotional trauma and stress.

Dr Mike Matar, MD (Psych)

DeMilly III, Walter A. "In My Father's Arms: A True Story of Incest", University of Wisconsin Press, 1999.



The Unthinkable



Amos Lassen and Cinema Pride



When one thinks of societal taboos, incest is high on the list. We know that there many forms of incest but sexual relations between father and son is unthinkable. Walter Milly, in his short memoir, "In My Father's Arms" is one of the few accounts available on the subject. This book tells a story so horrible that it is sickening to think about. I found it extremely hard to understand the lies and the trickery involved in being a serial ale pedophile. The book is beautifully written and the language is pristine but it is still deeply disturbing. The book is a study in how evil triumphs. We have a loving family which is plagued by a man so dangerous that we cannot conceive of such deep evil.

I am sure that many of us are not aware of the large number of male survivors of incest--we rarely hear about them. Milly's story is compelling and extremely informative about father-son incest. His vivid descriptions are disturbing but in reading them, I found it easier to understand multiple-personality-disorder. His father maintained great control over him and the incest was clothed in utmost secrecy.

The material in this book is hard to take but the story never really becomes maudlin. I was surprised to read of how sympathetic Milly is towards his father and the author's ability to convey a bevy of emotions clearly and candidly is absolutely amazing. Milly's father did terrible things and he was a horrible man but he is also a study in ambiguity. The tragedy of this incest was tragic for both father and son. I don't understand it and I never will but the demons in the father's mind were so powerful that he could not conquer them.

I am sure that his was not an easy book to write. Yet it was written beautifully. Milly's sad story of his abuse and his relationship with his father and how he dealt with it is an accomplishment in itself. Losing innocence and disturbing memories are very difficult to write about--they are personal. I cannot imagine a life like this and the way the book conveys the pain of the kid is hard but real just as its impact on his changing body.

I find memoirs and autobiographies to be interesting and full of intrigue. A writer who puts his own story on paper and shares his life with others. It is hard to think how Milly wrote this and even more important that he was wiling to share this story. His sensitivity and his pain are real and sincere and they pull you in. As a child he could not tell his story to anyone. He knew something terrible was happening and he had to suppress it. As he matured and realized his own sexual identity, he became even more confused. Did he become a homosexual because of his father? This we don't get but we do get a whole lot

more.

It is impossible to walk away from this book untouched. In gaining understanding of incest, we hurt but if that hurt can prevent future incest then Milly's memoir is a valuable piece of literature. If not, it is a fascinating but depressing read.

"The eyes scream what the lips dare not whisper" -- these are images of father-son sexual abuse that no one should have to live with in their head and Walter de Milly and other victims should not have to live with alone.

Walter de Milly's short memoir remains one of the precious few opportunities to truly experience the utterly horrifying truths of father-son incest in all its sickening complexity and to understand the rank evil lies and trickery of an unstoppable and selfish serial male target pedophile. Deeply disturbing in its beautiful poetic prose; tragically ultimately lacking in the crucial summary naming of this "father" as exactly the unspeakably sick monster that he was, a pedophile who belonged in prison or a mental institution. In My Father's Arms remains a study in the triumph of evil -- nevermind a pedophile father's "mental illness" -- enabled in a deeply disturbed "loyal, loving and sentimental" (and tragically naive) family. You will never forget Walter's Southern story of a dissociative and multiple personality disorder producing "good" family, and he and other shattered victims of the X-Files insidiousness of father-son incest and male target pedophiles will never be out of your prayers after. The classic People of the Lie by M. Scott Peck and the astute Intimate Worlds by Maggie Scarf are both wise companion reading. Highly recommended.

Walter de Milly gives a voice to male survivors of incest. His story is compelling and highly informative of the experience of father-son incest. He has shown great courage.

His descriptions vividly illustrate the experience of dissociation and splitting. This book has given me the clearest understanding of multiple personality disorder. Through memories he explains the psyche of his father (which is very disturbing), and how his father maintained control over him and secrecy over the incest. We also learn about the culture he grew up in through the reactions to his homosexuality, the keeping of secrets for the purpose of upholding social images, and the belief that incest is a fantasy and not a reality.

The reaction of his parents and psychiatrist to his homosexuality and emerging incest memories is heart breaking. He deserved so much more than how he was treated and misunderstood. The difficulties of dealing with incest compounded by the discovery of his homosexuality (being different, having crushes in high school), and then to be misunderstood and put through therapies to make him heterosexual, while his father (a pedophile) was praised as a great man.

Throughout the entire book we catch glimmers of hope, and ultimately he is able to end the secrecy and to triumph. He reclaims himself from the lies and abuse. I even began to feel compassion towards his father. He was a sick man, and he was not able to fully face the truth of what he had done before his death (though he never denied that he abused his son or the other boys). The treatment he received disturbed me. I wish there had been a way for everyone in the family to receive better psychotherapy.

Walter de Milly writes beautifully. I loved reading about his connections to other people, and especially his friendship with Wallace.

Currently trying to understand my own past, De Milly's story is told with such clarity and care, that after I put it down (i read it in one sitting) I felt comforted. De Milly confronts something most of us try to keep quiet, and he does so with grace and compassion. The book, undoubtedly a reflection of the man, is painfully sincere. Thank you Walter De Milly for opening the door for so many of us.

As you can well imagine, this material is rather hard to take. Mercifully the book isn't too long, and by that comment I simply mean that the author is never verbose. He doesn't allow his story to become maudlin. What struck me most was how sympathic the author is with his father. He is able to convey a myriad of conflicting emotions - confusion, anger, love - with a clear and candid style. What his father did to Walter and all those other boys was horrendous and, some would say, unforgivable. What this book did for me was to communicate the ambiguities in his father's character. This was not just a tragedy for Walter, but for his father as well. Don't misunderstand. I'm not condoning his father's actions. No, I'm just saying that one can understand and feel a certain pity for someone obviously afflicted by demons too powerful to fight or conquer. This is a very special book, both sad and optimistic, objective and pointedly direct.

This is still a novel, and a good read although the underlying story is quite alarming. One can understand how easily this type of scenario could happen and the churning of bureaucracy is more about making money than helping people. As well as being a little frightening there is a predictable love story running through the book that takes the sting out of what could easily be a real life situation. I not only enjoyed this book but it has left me with an after taste of consideration that most novels do not usually impart. A recommended read.

A must read book (novel) on the subject of Psychiatric abuse. This book tells all.
For those of you who think I rail against the psychs unjustly, this book may possibly change your mind.
Not for the faint of heart though. For those with courage only.
Dr. Ian Shillington
Naturopathic Doctor

Great book! I've already passed it on to someone else. Most of my reading is non-fiction and usually not novels but this one I was interested in from the start. I also lost quite a bit of sleep because I just had to read one more chapter ... and then the next and the next! The entertainment value was great but it was also a real eye-opener in revealing what can happen when one finds oneself trapped in the legal and psychiatric treadmill. Sobering to say the least! Dennis

Reading this book was like having Ms. Klein follow me through my youth and write a book about what I saw happen to my own cousin, only I couldn't save her before the drugs and shock "therapy" killed her. This book may be fictional in regards to characters, but it's story is all too true. Since "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" there has not been a book that more accurately shows the truth behind those closed doors. A well-written book that's worth the read. A real eye-opener.

Hey,
I actually know the author, she is very awesome. She told me how much she she had to work and research to get the correct information and data.
I thought that it was very true in a very frightening way. I think everyone should know of the evil the pshciatrists are spreading around, saying they are 'helping' people. Diane Klein does just that and I commend her for sticking a foot out to the wolves to get the truth out to the rest of us.