Journals Books

After reading one of the reviews on this site about cost and outdated calendars, I was a little hesitant in purchasing this travel planner. But I went ahead and bought it anyways, and I'm sure glad I did! I found this planner to be extremely useful to me and intend on using another for my next trip! I also found the price to be very fair and contained current calendars for this year and the next.

This is a complete and compact travel journal, loaded with travel tips, space for recording absolutely everything, great packing lists for all kinds of trips. What I didn't like was the out-dated calendars (1999 and 2000) on the inside front and back covers--some help that is. I purchased four journals at once, all different, to use as gifts. This was the most expensive, and I probably would have returned it except that our trip is less than 2 weeks away!

This year, I used a personalized travel organizer to attend my grandmother's 100th birthday, and it has become a keepsake! I kept notes on family history that I never had before, recorded contact information for family members I'd lost touch with, and the cover photo of my family not only turned out better than the original picture, it completes the memories of a special event in my life."

I haven't kept a travel journal before and I found it very useful in helping to remember things. Each day was so full of activity that they tended to blur into one great trip, so the book helps to tie down certain events to specific days and locations. It will be especially helpful to me when I finally get around to writing my article on the trip. I have two overseas speaking engagements this year to give a slide presentations and talks on the visit to aquarium societies, so the book will also be useful in compiling notes for the talks.

Not only did it help us to not forget anything, it cued us to bring things we hadn't thought of! The chore of making plans and putting checklists together before a trip is not something I enjoy. This organizer does most of that for you; you just have to fill in the pertinent information. Besides, having the custom picture of my Grandfather's dairy farm on the front put a smile on my face and warmed my heart throughout the entire planning process! I also loved being able to capture our trip in the journal; what a great idea! I'm ordering another one for our Walt Disney World trip in the Fall! I can't wait to see it!

The structure of the book has been well thought out,with short sections of the text above the vocabulary for that text and at the bottom there is a full commentary with grammatical explanations. There are full explanations of the progress of the story, with interludes explaining the action to come and explanations of both gods and humans. Altogether, I would recommend this book to any sixth form or university classics student.

This Latin textbook provides the first half of the Aeneid in Latin, along with plenty of footnotes and appendices to guide you as you translate the great epic. Each page contains five to fifteen lines of the Aeneid, and the remaining two-thirds of each page contains the vocabulary, grammar notes, and miscellaneous footnotes. You never need to turn a page or refer to another dictionary, so the tedious aspect of translating is removed. (My fellow students love this awesome aspect and therefore call it the "Pharr Out" edition.) The appendices provide all the grammar rules you may have forgotten or have yet to learn. Beginner and Intermediate Latin students can't go wrong with this book if they need or want to tackle Virgil's Aeneid.

This book is a great guide when translating the Aeneid. It has all of the poetic figures, grammatical notes, and vocabulary one needs for preparation for the AP Latin test.

I have found this text to be helpful, although at times somewhat misleading. Pharr's edition of Virgil's Aeneid is renowned for its extensive annotations throughout the entirety of the text (intended to assist students as well as intermediate translators). At times these annotations are more harmful than helpful. Many are either unclear or offer too much impertinent information. For this reason, students often miss the relevant information contained within and simply accept Pharr's translations of various phrases/words without actually translating for themselves.

I recommend this book for any Latin 3, or Ap Class! The vocabulary fold out in the back is very useful! Although some may argue Barbara Boyd's Book 10 and 12 Pallas and Turnus book is exactly the same, the vocabulary lists are scarce. Pharr also has vocabulary on the pages you are translating, that do not occur as often. He also has interesting points that refer to the latin in interpretation, and he points out examples of literary devices. This book is EXCELLENT for a latin student in any grade!

This journal offers the guidance I was looking for because when I try to use a wordless journal I just don't know where to start. Write from Your Heart, A Healing Grief Journal, gently prompts the writer and offers suggestions to help a person begin the writing journey. It will help you develop your own personalized book that will be meaningful to you.

I was happy to see this is a journal with guided prompts, helpful tips and Bible verses.As I wrote in my journal I did find comfort as I worked through the pages at my own pace. This is a grief workbook journal that has helped me to sort my feelings and to write about my love and my loss.The daily prompts helped me to deal with some of the emotions that needed to be addressed so that I then could release them.
One prompt asked, Who has been there for you? Can you forgive those who let you down?
While at the time people said some insensitive remarks, "aren't you over it yet?" that hurt deeply. Other people came forward that I never expected would. Those special people were a great blessing. I recommend this journal especially if you like to write, or if you want to create a loving memory book, or if you just want to get your feelings on paper. It also had some helpful healing activities scattered amongst the prompts.
You will get out of this book what you put into it. Take the time to write. It is worth it.
My finished book is one I will keep to pass on to my daughter.

The 18 Key Points to Grief Survival was a helpful section to me. I can see that the author has come through the loss of her husband, parents, siblings, and other family members and friends and still has a strong faith and courage.
My life isn't over and I know I have a lot still to experience and to offer others. As is quoted in the book Helen Keller, said "Self pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it we can never do anything wise in the world."
I have my days when I feel down but the journal is helpful to me in many ways. Some days I feel like writing and other days I just want to read the verses and suggestions.
I am going to send a copy to my friend who just lost her husband. I know she will find comfort using it as I have.
I was anxious for my book to arrive because I wanted to find comfort. Grief is a process and I think this journal will help me through that process.

I was looking for a book that offered me the opportunity to write about my thoughts and memories and also gave me encouragement. Write from Your Heart is a grief workbook journal that truly helped me to sort my feelings and to write about my love and my loss.The stories, verses and healing activities encourage me.
I'm dealing with individuals who have hurt me with things they have said or done. Our family's loss feels so great to us. I feel as though I am unburdening myself without burdening other family members when I can sort things out in my book. I am stronger using this journal. Writing in and reading this journal is calming for me.
I would like to also recommend this journal for anyone who wants to create a keepsake of a loved one. This book is for anyone who wants to write about their lives, emotions and memories. You don't have to be a professional writer to use this book. It is written in an easy to use format. It also had some helpful healing activities that I am finding useful.
This is a book that requires you to do something which is write and that is what gets you through grief. You must do your "griefwork" if you ever want to begin to heal.
Go ahead and begin to heal with your own copy.
May you all find the healing power of God.

I am in a grief group at our church and we are using this journal as we work our way through the grief process. I have discovered that many of the others experiencing grief feel the same way I do and it is healing to discover this together. Our losses hurt us deeply and it isn't something that is going to magically disappear. We must do our grief work and eventually we will learn how to get the most out of our own lives. It helps to have others who are walking the same path as I am to talk to.
This is a guided journal that is faith based. The more I write the more I am gaining in wisdom and peace.

Jean Genet's absorbing work of literary autobiography traverses the boundaries of genre with stunning ingenuity and imagination. This work is in some ways similar to Capote's use of the so-called "non-fiction novel," in that it recalls apparently true events through the lens of fiction. This is the reflection of a petty thief, and vagabond. Genet is a young man wandering Europe and immersing himself in a world of crime and depravity. He fuses his homosexuality with nefarious hooliganism to play off of our civilization's utter contempt for effeminate males. Genet blurs the boundary of morality with Nietzschean fury as he revels in his self projected "evil." Perhaps what is most astonishing about 'The Thief's Journal' is the way in which Jean Genet comments on his own commentary with startling frankness and lucidity. In many ways this work established many of the literary mechanics of what is now referred to as "post-modern," though Genet achieves the same level of complexity without sacrificing clarity or beauty in the process.

Genet was, without a doubt, one of the master prose stylists of the twentieth century. This "autofiction" memoir, based on the events of his life, follows the author/character Genet on his vagabond trip through 1930's Europe. While all of Genet's narratives are interesting, most do not follow a chronological sequence or have standard narration. This one does, and as such, I think it is the best introduction to his work.

In this "journal," Genet does more than detail the events of his everyday life--he describes the process by which he becomes a poet. In singing the praises of all that society rejects, Genet creates beauty from the abject, and puts all events and experiences on equal ground as inspirations and subjects of art. One of the great meditations on the creative process, and one of the great works of the 20th c.

Both during and after my reading of Jean Genet's semi-autobiographical memoir of life as a criminal (later turned writer), I have been attempting to place its protagonist (aptly named "Jean") onto a psychoanalyst's couch. Here is a fascinating and often times sleezy character who has captured my imagination in a way that most central figures of a novel never have. Jean describes himself as having a very lonely boyhood; when he was not living in foster homes, he was out stealing from people, spending time in juvenile reformatories and prisons. Most of his friends have been individuals that he met while in jail or as collaborators in his crimes. These individuals were often pimps, drug dealers, thieves, and other such low lives.

I believe that the key to Jean's nature, a natural extention of his feelings of utter aloneness, is his desire for the love and approval by the most brutal and in his eyes, most masculine, of these malefactors. His robbing of unsuspecting, more well to do older "queers," as he calls them, who hire him for sex, gains Jean the respect and admiration of some of his friends. Interestingly, Jean is also a homosexual (probably self-hating). Although many of these men become his friends, only a few actually return his love. In Jean's unconventional society betrayal of those you most love is a common principle, and Jean desires to do just that.

_The Thief's Journal_ also has its moments of pathos, especially notable in the episode where Jean and a number of his acquaintances are homeless, in utter squalor, and middle-class tourists visiting their terrain comment on their "charm."

This book is not for every taste, but it is a very enthralling look at a world many of us may read about, but never see close up.

I've read the Japanese translation of this book several times some years ago. It is a well known fact that western languages are so very difficult to transltate into Japanese language, but this book did not seem to suffer as much as others.

It is intellectually very satisfying, the language is exceptionally beautiful, and more than anything else, it is very gentle.

It does not have many dialogs, and not a story, since it's a journal, but it's a very readable book and easy to follow even for someone like me who can only read books in a story-telling format.

If you feel like something gentle, this book is a good companion.

Genet's final novel is perhaps his most personal written document. All his desires are finely crafted here and his book is , as usual, crammed with idols and mystification. What prevents me from calling this his greatest novel is the influence of Sartre. By this point, as Genet's biographrer Edmund White has pointed out, Genet was conciously incorporating the use of Sartre's theories in his work (as Sartre at that time was Genet's friend - and sort of replacement for Jean Cocteau). The novel lacks the inovation of 'Our Lady' - but at the same time it has many more direct personal references to Genet himself.

What makes Genet, for me, one of the greatest writers of the 20th century is the way he embraces fate. He is always so clear in his novels about what is going to happen and the significance of what is going to happen. Thus, his writing always sounds so inevitable and profound - and his characters are like shrines of worship - he creates mythology. This is what makes Genet so refreshing to me - and he is, in my opinion, an equal to authors like Proust, Joyce, and Kafka - a gem of self-concious literature.

The Thiefs Journal is a good place to start with Genet. It is very clear and detailed and he pours the same great poetic prose into it - that he gave books like 'Our Lady' and 'Querelle'.

If you are in a recovery program or are a student of A Course in Miracles, you will really enjoy this book. You might also wish to check out Daily Meditations for Practicing The Course by Karen Casey. I am on my third time through this book. I have been a student of "The Course" for quite a few years. It is quite a journey.

I have been looking for this book for 2 years. I had one that is 17 years old. I was very surprised to fine one that was nice and new. I purchased and then bam, it was here by mail.

Thanks so much,.

This is a good book for someone in alcohol recovery. I am a non-drinker and didn't like the references to "see your sponsor, etc." I recommend it for someone trying to go straight.

I love this book! It gives me daily inspiration and a positive attitude to start my day.

I don't think we as human beings actually recognize the power of daily reading, meditation, and reflecting. Practicing these powerful principles allows us to remain mindful of the moment and reflect upon the deeper question in our lives. To devote ourself to a daily meditation and to journal on these quiet times is priceless and will certainly aid in the evolution of our soul. For me this practice has allowed an awakening to take place and opens my life up to all the opportunities that are available in this universe. Please give this practice a try! This book will help you in your journey of living and cultivating an active consciousness in your daily life.

Richard A. Singer Jr. Author Your Daily Walk with the Great Minds of the Past and Present.

Let me add my praise to the reveiw list for this beautiful and inspiring book. The photos and colors will jumpstart your creative energies. The projects are wonderful just as illustrated, but I found them to be just the beginning. It's a book full of ideas and techniques that will keep me busy for a long time. I keep this book close by just so I can admire the work illustrated and for the inspiration it provides for my next project.

This book seduces you to get out your sewing machine... you may never have dreamt of sewing books, but once the pictures show you the phantastic, colorful books that are possible, and the clear descriptions convince you you can do it, you can't resist. I bought the book for a friend and then got a copy for myself... I highly recommend it to anyone who combines a love for fabrics and books.

One of my absolute favorites. The first part of the book gives you all the information you need to get started, including techniques, tools, stitches, etc. All well explained, including visuals. Perfect for beginners & advanced crafters alike. The second part is full of gorgeous projects with step-by-step instruction. All are well within the capabilities of any level of crafter, as it is not so much the construction of the books that is inspired, but rather it is what you do to embellish them that is key. And the last part of the book gives you several pages of examples of cloth books made by others. Lots of inspiration on the possibilites of various embellishment techniques there. I am just wild for this book and am itching to get started!

When I ordered this book, I thought it would be one of those books that had a beautiful cover but no real substance. This book is amazing, and I've already learned a lot in the short time I've owned it.

I almost didn't purchase this book because I have several others on fabric books. Boy, would I have missed out! This books not only has beautiful photography but the examples are unique and the instructions flawless. One of my favorite sections is CHAPTER FOUR: THE GALLERY which shows so many examples of fabric books created by other artists for inspiration. In fact, I was so inspired that I couldn't wait to make a book for a dear friend's birthday using a combination of several different designs. This is not one of those books that you read and then put away. It stays on my studio table and I am already starting my next book. My fabric art library is pretty extensive but this book is by far the best when it comes to creating and embellishing fabric journals and books. I love it!

I use this book often in my practice. It was recommended to me by a fellow colleague who heard the author speak at a conference. So far, with this book, I have settled with the USAtty office concerning an asset forfeiture for a client. I also used it to negotiate an offer in compromise that was accepted by the IRS Appeals in an employment case in a case that the agent could not be persuaded to settle.

I consistently consult this book in my practice and refer it to others in my firm. The author provides real-world, practical advice. It is a must for your law library.

This book is a great guide for analyzing and determining strategies to take against the government. It's great not to have to reinvent the wheel by using the checklists and deposition questions and form complaints etc that are provided in this book as a guide. It is a book I refer to regularly in my practice and I have given it to new associates in our trial training program.

I bought this book after hearing the author speak at a bar conference. I was impressed. She really knew what she was talking about and she provided actual substantive materials as handouts not just outlines that you normally get from presenters. If your specializing in tax defense, this is a must-purchase. Forms, phone numbers, law and practical advice for dealing with the government are included in this book for the bread& butter types cases most tax lawyers handle.

I bought this book when I was involved in a tax clinic & law school class two years ago and now that I'm out in my own practice I find that it is one of the few books I can actually use in my practice. It has forms, pleadings and advice concerning IRS and DOJ practice and procedures that have saved me from spinning my wheels. I recommend this for others who represent clients during audits, appeals with the IRS and handle refund suits involving the Justice Department.

I think this is the best Jack Handey book. I should know, I have them all!My favorite story is about when he had his head out the car window and knocked off a dog's head! The only complaint I could possibly make is that it is a little short. Go buy this book nooooooooowwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!

What can I say, other than thanks to Jack Handey for inviting me to read his book. This here is some side splittin' humor - the type that makes you worry about your guts!! I have to agree with Dirk when he so eloquently stated "this book is funny". Thanks to Jack for giving us never before seen material (Susan the Eubie) and for making this the best EVER!

If you're only buying one Jack Handey book then buy this one. I love them all, but some are better than others, and this one is consistently great from beginning to end.

This Book is funny as well as it should be , it's jack after all
i have all of his books they're all funny , weird this book is no expection . a word to the wise don't drink or eat anything when reading this book . i'm just waiting for the next volume of deep thoughts until then i'll read fuzzy & the others for a laugh.
take care jack & keep martha in line haa . this weird warped journey through childhood for those who don't get dry sense of humor things i would'nt get this book but for those who do than i'd recommend it. it's real treat.

If you're a fan of the Deep Thoughts series, this is surely a must have. Unlike the Deep Thoughts, you now have stories that are as funny as the short quips you've previously seen. I only wish the book were longer because you find yourself wanting to read more and more. My personal favorite is the fried chicken story with his cousin Susan the "Eubie". You truly get a sense of the warped genius that created Jack Handey. This book is enjoyable enough to read again and again whenever you start to feel down. If I could give it 10 stars I would.

A beautiful book - inside and out. The cover is padded so it has that "journal" feel -- it's the perfect size to carry and fits easily in a bookbag or briefcase. I think the best feature of this book is the table of contents -- a comprehensive and well organized list of topics and subtopics covered in the journal which guide the reader through "life's inevitable journey."

Wow! I initially bought this for myself but found it so useful that I bought one for my dad. It allowed me to approach subjects with him about his future medical care and the type of arrangements he would want for himself upon his death. Most of all, it's given both of us the opportunity to record important information right in the journal so it's all in one book. Kudos to Ms. Vestevich!

As an avid reader my interests are quite varied. Like most people once I finish a book I rarely pick it up again. However once in a great while a work will come along that is more than mere entertainment or to fill space in a book case. A work so special it becomes a companion. Something to cherish, to enjoy, to learn from, to make your very own and to pass down to future generations. Grant Me My Final Wish is very different from anything I've read before and frankly I was a bit skeptical. But wow what a surprise. Well written, insightful and detail oriented, "Grant Me" actually grows in value and purpose long after the reader puts it down. A must for every family. It belongs in that vaulted position next to the family bible

I am a registered nurse who is presently working on my Masters in Counseling at Oakland University. I am thoroughly impressed with this journal which is intelligently and compassionately written. There should be a copy in every home. Grant Me My Final Wish will open a difficult topic for discussion, as well as leave memories for loved ones.
Carol Franciosi R.N. Bsc. El. Ed. Masters in Counseling (CLASS OF '06)

I was told about this book by a fellow Rotarian who heard Ms. Vestevich speak at his meeting. It is very well designed and makes for a beautiful gift to give to friends and loved ones. Renata Marie created a useful tool to share one's vital information, memories and wishes for all to see so that when they're gone, they're never forgotten and their thoughts and wishes are known to all. Everyone should have a copy to augment their legal Will. After all the Terri Schiavo media attention I woke up to how important it is to have a living Will regardless of your age and write down what you want to happen if you're unable to let others know. Though there may be other books or journals out there for that purpose, Grant Me My Final Wish has to be the best! Renata Marie did a great job putting it together to help facilitate what should be included in the journal and make sure you know what you need to think about now and in the future. Worth every penny and then some! Bravo!

Last May I visited Gethsemane Abbey where Thomas Merton lived his life as a monk. I wanted the opportunity to see Thomas Merton's hermitage, where he wrote some of his greatest writings. I guess the image of the writer in me decided that I would be inspired by visiting the beloved private space of one of the twentieth century's most famous and influential spiritual writers. I'd be inspired to finish my novel, write a spiritual treatise or two, and it would all be due to my visit to Merton's hermitage. Far fetched? Perhaps, but you'd be surprised at the ideas that come to mind after driving from Boston to Bardstown, Kentucky, alone. Sixteen hours of driving spread over two days can produce all sorts of grand ideas. Well, the hermitage was in use and I wouldn't be able to visit it and since I was at the abbey for a retreat, the hermitage would probably have been a distraction. Anyone who has ever read Merton knows what he thought of distractions, so it was probably in keeping with the spirit of Merton's life and message that I didn't visit the hermitage, but something interesting did happen when I was visiting. I went for a walk and passed through the cemetery where the monks are buried. I wasn't paying all that much attention but I did look down and saw a simple white cross with the name Fr. Louis and the year 1968 on it. I was standing where Thomas Merton was buried. Suddenly a man I admired as a priest, writer, and person seemed more real and human which is what I believe gives Merton such an appeal to so many. He knew what the human heart was searching for, which is the appeal of his writings, yet he was not some sort of remote guru. He was human like everyone else and had his triumphs, but also his struggles.

Thomas Merton's diaries are essential for understanding Merton. He kept journals throughout his lifetime, and many of his entries have been published. The earlier entries are somewhat pious and sanitized, due to his initial monastic fervor and the fact that his superiors were his final editors. Sometimes the superiors are accused of censoring, and Merton himself believes this from time to time, but it really wasn't censoring as we think of it, at least in the United States. He was allowed to write for the good of the Trappist order and the Abbey of Gethsemane, not for his own fulfillment, so those who asked him to write for this purpose did have the right to say what would and would not be for the good of the order. Yes they were too restrictive, and no doubt they deleted essential information that is now lost, but that was the reality of religious life at the time. As the rules became more relaxed, Merton's writings expressed more of his struggles, foibles, and the challenges he faced in life. The later journal entries are hardly the sanitized entries that make up THE SIGN OF JONAS. Brother Patrick Hart and Jonathan Montaldo have edited what remains of Merton's journals and the result is a seven volume set of Merton's most personal writings. THE INTIMATE MERTON contains excerpts from the seven volumes that give the reader a general idea of Merton's life from his point of view and give the readers a glimpse behind the great writer and spiritual figure.

This particular volume arranges the materials chronologically and presents the material in the order in which it was written rather than piecing the entries together to form a biography. Some of the entries are mini-masterpieces, others are almost fragments, but anyone who has kept a journal knows that this is part of journaling.

I do have one suggestion for readers who purchase this book. Make sure you have a basic outline of Merton's life available when reading this volume. The editors have decided to let Merton's writings stand on their own, but for people not familiar with Merton's life and writings, it's easy to get lost. There is very little biographical information in the book which can make the information a bit overwhelming. If the book contained a few paragraphs of commentary at the beginning of each section to situate the reader, it would be helpful, but even without the commentary, it's a great introduction to the journals of Thomas Merton.

One may wonder why another book on Thomas Merton, one of the most self-chronicled lives of the twentieth century, is needed, but The Intimate Merton serves a valuable purpose. Only academics and fanatical devotees of the famous writer and monk will have the time and interest to read all seven volumes of his personal journals. And yet, as this selection of entries from them demonstrates, Merton's journals are a treasury of autobiographical revelation, psychological honesty, and spiritual insight.

Just a few of the more memorable entries justify the book. These include an hilarious account of Merton the non-driver taking a jeep for a spin, a beautiful description of a night watch as a dark night of the soul, and Merton's sober yet grateful meditations on his 50th birthday.

Nevertheless, it is the sweep of years, the chronicle of a soul, that make these meditations most interesting. The Intimate Merton wisely focuses on the journal entries from the 1960s, material not covered by The Seven Storey Mountain and other earlier works. Thus we see a self-portrait of the older Merton wrestling with his need to be an individual versus his need to love and be loved, fitfully learning to accept his failures and to appreciate the gifts of others, and searching for his home in this world and beyond.

Thomas Merton was a complicated, Thoreauvian figure who considered himself to be, among other things, an "amateur theologian." Yet an amateur is essentially a lover, and Merton, for all his faults and doubts, was certainly a lover of God. Other lovers of God will enjoy tracing his spiritual journey through these pages.

The book `The Intimate Merton', edited by Brother Patrick Hart and Jonathan Montaldo, is a great encapsulation of the journals which Thomas Merton, monk, writer, activist and spiritual guide (I believe he would eschew the word leader, kept from the time he began considering a vocation (both as a monk and as a writer) to the time of his death nearly thirty years later.

The book is broken into sections reflective of Merton's monastic life. Each section is composed of selections, representative and/or significant, from his regular daily journals. Merton actually kept voluminous journals (published in seven thick volumes), much of which served as a basis and self-reflective sounding board for his other writings. This book is a user-friendly spiritual autobiography, distilled from the wisdom gained over twenty-nine years of teaching, prayer, reflection, prayer, writing, prayer, activity, and yet more prayer.

Merton was not (and still is not) universally loved, even by the church and monastic hierarchies who claim him as a shining example of one of their own. Merton's life is a quest for meaning, and quest for unity before God of all peoples, and a quest for love. These were not always in keeping with the practices of the church, which found itself more often than Merton cared for embroiled in political action in support of the state, or at least the status quo.

Merton was a Trappist monk. The Trappists derive their name from la Trappe, the sole survivor of a reformed Cistercian order in France about the time of the Revolution. This order of Cistercians (white-robed monks) had fairly strict observances which included the usual monastic trappings of vows of chastity, stability, obedience, poverty -- and a regime of prayer and psalm recitals coupled with daily work and study that is not at all for the faint-hearted (or faint-spirited). It was to this order that Merton pledged himself, in his beginning search for meaning and fulfillment.

`The great work of sunrise again today.
The awful solemnity of it. The sacredness. Unbearable without prayer and worship. I mean unbearable if you really put everything aside and see what is happening! Many, no doubt, are vaguely aware that it is dawn, but they are protected from the solemnity of it by the neutralising worship of their own society, their own world, in which the sun no longer rises and sets.'

Poetry in prose -- this passage, from the section on The Pivotal Years, reflects a searching nearing a conclusion, but still far from grasping, and far from complete. It also reflects the need for sharing, the drive toward caring, the simplest of things in the world, available to all, free of charge -- and most will never take possession.

God is calling in the sunrise. Merton recognises the call. He wants to deliver this sunrise in a package to the world. But he cannot. This is Merton's endless frustration, and the drive to do more, while yet being, as he would say himself, selfish in wanting to grasp it for himself, too. His time in the Hermitage, a time during which he was removed even from the company of fellow monks -- reflects this duality of vocation in Merton. He recognises that in some ways, it is an escape, but other ways, a fulfillment.

Even late in his life, after he was called away from his solitude at the Hermitage, because the world needed him, he was still humble and seeking. After nearly three decades of monastic practice and reflection on the level that Merton had done, one would expect a certain 'expertise' to have permeated his thinking. And yet, he would write:

`I have to change the superficial ideas and judgments I have made about the contemplative religious life, the contemplative orders. They were silly and arbitrary and without faith.'

This, on the basis of one retreat in December of 1967, with laypersons and clerics and monastics outside his Trappist order -- this is his conclusion, his resolute determination to not be boxed in, even by his own thinking. The true search can lead anywhere, even to the conclusion that one has been wrong all along.

And yet, Merton was not wrong. There was value in each of his spiritual discoveries as he discovered them. They still resonate for all of us today.

`Since Hayden Carruth's reprimand I have had more esteem for the crows around here, and I find, in fact, that we seem to get on much more peacefully. Two sat high in an oak beyond my gate as I walked on the brow of the hill at sunrise saying the Little Hours. They listened without protest to my singing of the antiphons. We are part of a menage, a liturgy, a fellowship of sorts.'

Near the end of his life, Merton was becoming more and more one with all around him, with all of God's creation, with nature, with people, with friends and strangers. And yet, he missed his privacy, his time for personal reflection and solitude.

`Everyone now knows where the hermitage is, and in May I am going to the convent of the Redwoods in California. Once I start traveling around, what hope will there be?'

Merton had premonitions that 1968 was a year `that things are finally and inexorably spelling themselves out', prophetic indeed, for in the same year the world lost Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Robert Kennedy, and Brother Thomas Merton. He never was able to reclaim the solitude, pouring himself out for his friends ('what greater love hath anyone...'), who he counted as the entire world.

May Brother Thomas' journey enlighten your own.

In Notebook 17, Merton writes "I am thrown into contradiction:/ to realize it is a mercy,/ to accept it is love,/ to help others do the same is compassion." (269) From a year or two before he died, this recognition shows what his journals, excerpted here from the seven complete volumes, chart. These take you beyond the more familiar writings that made Merton famous, and show by extension his more frail, doubting, and pensive side.

These pages begin in 1939-41, as he wrestles with being rejected by the Franciscans, works with the poor, reads and thinks at Columbia and upstate New York, and decides to enter the Trappists. His fervor as a recent convert energizes his visit to Cuba. He is full of ideas and energy, but seeks and needs focus. Early on, he realizes the trouble with a journal. If it's written for publication, "then you can tear pages out of it, emend it, correct it, write with art. If it is a personal document, every emendation amounts to a crisis of conscience and a confession, not an artistic correction."(12/4/1940; p. 21) He decides to keep his diary for posterity, for others to read.

The second chapter, although dated 1941-1952, begins five years after his entrance to the Order, at the end of 1946. He has written his soon to be bestselling memoir, and prepares for the fame that he desires but recoils from. His ordination in 1949 enlivens his spirits, and monastery at this point has not wearied him. Even then, the wish for solitude begins to take hold, to be apart from what will be, in the wake of "The Seven Storey Mountain," a rush of aspirants for Gethsemani Abbey. Ironically or justifiably, he will be appointed Master of Novices and later of Scholastics, the students attracted by his very writings. Surprisingly, he writes little of the daily conferences and dealings with his fellow monks in this journal, perhaps out of respect for their confidings, but also, one suspects, out of a disenchantment with the noise, the cheese factory, the tractors and the press of new faces into what had been for him the place where he sought to be alone with God.

This contradiction drives him towards a hermitage on the property, a compromise he battles out. He is famous, and he seeks anonymity. He wants a public to speak to, and welcomes visits. He learns that his freedom allows him to go out on the town with his friends, and temptations will arise as his freedom increases, and his vocation is crucially tested.

1951 sparks a burst of mystical longing. His journals become more contemplative, as his time alone increases and his duties to the Abbey lessen somewhat. By the mid-1950s, he is living full-time at the hermitage. He thrives on study and contemplation. "Perhaps the Book of Life, in the end, is the book of what one has lived, and, if one has lived nothing, he is not in the Book of Life."(7/17/1956) He reads wisdom from the Eastern Christian and Asian traditions.

Musings on Boris Pasternak, Marxism and Latin American struggles begin to enter his journal, followed by Civil Rights and antiwar activist reports. He wishes to be drawn into the world he once thought he would and could leave behind. His advice is sought out by many, and the retreat becomes instead a visitor's center. This is partially by choice, and partially by fame.

The reforms of Vatican II appear to have come slowly to the Order and not altogether smoothly. He laments the end of Latin prayers and Gregorian chant; he records Dan Berrigan saying a non-canonical Mass circa `66 that presages the daring poses of relevance that unsettle Merton, who eschews violence and grandstanding by his more radical, media-hungry, confreres.

But, he knows that he can no longer remain within the walls of the monastery in this time of change and tumult. He wrestles with loyalties. On the fourteenth anniversary of his ordination, he feels defeated. Untraditional, unable to conform, he agonizes. "Perhaps that is good. I am not a J.F. Powers character. But the frustration is the same." Although neither Greene's whiskey priest nor a despairing curate as in Bernanos, his sincerity seems a charade. He acts a lie. Depressions grow as he nears fifty. "People think I am happy." He does seek solace in the Mass. "I suppose that in the end what I have done is that I have resisted the superimposition of a complete priestly form, a complete monastic pattern. I have stubbornly saved myself from becoming absorbed in the priesthood, and I do not know if this was cowardice or integrity. There seems to be no real way for me to tell." (5/26/1963; pp. 206-7) The next few years of revolt and reaction outside the monastery and travel within and beyond its no longer totally enclosed walls will test his indecision severely and unexpectedly.

He falls in love and- although not explicitly stated in these excerpts- consummates a relationship with a nurse who seems about half his age, who cares for him in a Louisville hospital in the spring of 1966. These are the most human and gripping entries of the volume. We witness in the first-person- if at an oblique angle that increases the perspective of realism-- an intelligent, tender, and righteous man break his vows, and then his promises to renew his commitment at great personal and psychic and physical sacrifice. He learns to treat "M" with dignity and does the right thing by her and himself, and reconciles his failing with the immediate joy he has foolishly if understandably embraced briefly.

In his fifth decade, Merton grows up. "Vocation is more than just a matter of being in a certain place and wearing a certain type of costume. There are too many people in the world who rely on the fact that I am serious about deepening an inner dimension of experience that they desire and is closed to them. It is not closed to me: this is a gift that has been given me not for myself but for everyone, even including M." Tempted again to sneak into the city to see her, he realizes: "In the end I would ruin her along with myself."(6/22/1966; p. 295) Here, Merton's saintliness shows itself most movingly to me. I recognize my own faults in his, and now realize his own integrity. If you have only read "Seven Storey Mountain," you only know the honeymoon period. The journals show the whole committment, the lifetime after the infatuation wears off.

In November 1968, a month and a day before his death, he records during his visit to the Dalai Lama in exile the three types of "bodhicitta." Kingly ones save one's self and then others. Boatmen ferry themselves with others into salvation. Shepherds guide others first and enter salvation last. I think of Merton, so near unawares his own sudden "liberation," as one who by his writings and example led many into spiritual heights.

These pages record how he labored, lonely among hundreds of other monks. How many, I wonder, who resented his popularity, worshipped his celebrity, or benefitted from his writing and the nights of loneliness that flowed into his pages? He lived as a flawed monk among others no less so, and this obvious but gradual admission comes to bring him and his community and so many other millions of readers the past fifty years the grace to accept the need for guides wiser than us to help lead us into nirvana.

Rather than review the book _The Intimate Merton_, I have chosen to review the persona who presents himself within these pages. For it is this persona that has attracted readers to his works, and through his works, to his life. If we are to profit at all from a man's personal journals, we must be certain that first he intends to be truthful and forthright about the time's of his life. And we are not to be dissappointed here by the subject of this work, as he assiduously presents his story with his most intimate thoughts.

We see, as the title of this review reflects, a man who has become entranced by his own idea of himself and his vocation, at once both a passionate writer and a solitary monk, bound to live the same day over and over again until he got it right. We see this reflected in the editor's introduction when they say: "He got up and fell down, he got up and fell down, he got up over and over again." He was as much a product of his times and the events that molded and influenced him as he was a simple human being longing for release. Only toward the end of his life, though, did he begin to travel down the road toward learning about who he really was, as opposed to the persona he carried around with him the majority of his life. His journals, condensed here from the seven that were ultimately published, are a testiment to how not to lead the spiritual life, and for that honesty of truthfulness with which these entries are presented, we are in debt to the man himself.

What the reader learns of Thomas Merton the man and the Trappist monk is that he was as sincere about what he wanted to accomplish with his life as he was in leaving us with a candid accounting of that life. His sincere wish can be summed up in an entry made in December of 1946 in which he states: "Meanwhile, for myself I have only one desire, and that is the desire for solitude -- to disappear into God, to be submerged in His peace, to be lost in the secret of His Face." What we learn about the truth of this sentiment is that Merton spent the majority of his twenty-seven years as a monk searching for that silence of peace into which to merge himself, but that he only on rare occasions found it. For the most part, his days were taken up with endless rounds of duties and projects which kept him busy and estranged from the solitude which he sought, and yet it was only in the final years of his life that he was finally able to begin to realize that solitude through having separated himself from the monastic community at Gethsemani and living at a private hermitage on the property.

We are shown this through such passages as the following, in which a forty-eight year old Merton laments the anniversary of his ordination to the priesthood: "Today is the fourteenth anniversary of my Ordination to the priesthood. . . . I have certainly not fitted into the conventional -- or even traditional -- mold. Perhaps that is good. I am not a J. F. Powers character. Yet the frustration is the same. (I do not know if I am a George Bernanos character. I am not a Graham Greene character.) But this business of defeat is there and I see it is perhaps in some way permanent. As if in a way my priestly life has been sad and fruitless -- the defeat and failure of my monastic life. (Perhaps. For after all how do I know?) I have a very real sense that it has all been some kind of a lie, a charade. With all my blundering attempts at sincerity, I have actually done nothing to change this."

Repeatedly, we are shown instances of this kind of self-admonishment throughout the latter sections of the book, and after a while, we begin to wonder "will he ever learn?" In that same journal entry we find the following, perhaps unparalleled in its honesty and self-disgust in the annals of autobiographical works: "Probably the chief weakness has been lack of real courage to bear up under the attention of monastic and priestly life. Anyway, I am worn down. I am easily discouraged. The depressions are deeper, more frequent. I am near fifty. People think I am happy." This was Merton as he appeared to himself on his worst days. Fortunately for him, these moments were as fleeting and impermanent as the very thoughts that went into expressing them. And yet his genius is that he shows us his struggle, time and again, to bear up under the task he has outlined for himself.

He is aware that his life is artificial in many ways and that the circumstances under which he has agreed to live have contributed to this artificialness. "I am convinced that the tensions of our community life are delusions and obsessions because of the unreality of our activities -- the basic unreality of our relationships. Unreal because much too artificial and contrived." Yet we see by these many observations that he is honestly seeking to evaluate his life in the manner of a genuine contemplative.

On occasion, he shows us some glimmer of hope as in the following entry from June of 1963: "Identity. I can see now where the work is to be done. I have been coming here into solitude to find myself, and now I must also lose myself: not simply rest in the calm, the peace, the identity that is made up of my experienced relationship with nature in solitude. This is healthier than my 'identity' as a writer or a monk, but it is still a false identity, though it has a temporary meaning and validity. It is the cocoon that masks the transition stage between what crawls and what flies." It was during this next period of his life, the last five years, that he began coming upon some of the ideas that helped him to begin putting the pieces of his life's puzzle together.

As it is always darkest before the dawn, at the turn of the year to 1964 we find the forty-nine year old Merton once again lamenting his situation: ". . . twenty-two years of relative confusion, often coming close to doubt and infidelity, agonized aspirations for 'something better,' criticism of what I have, inexplicable inner suffering that is largely my own fault, insufficient efforts to overcome myself, inability to find my way, perhaps culpably straying off into things that do not concern me." Yet even here he is on the brink of a discovery, for just a few short weeks later his contemplations begin to yield some much needed light. The darkness begins to lift ever so slightly as he makes the realization that his "real self" was nothing other than "the self that one is. . . . However, the emperical self is not to be taken as fully 'real' either. Here is where the illusion begins." It is during this time period that he begins to explore the religious traditions of China, Tibet, Japan, and ancient India, and the light that he has been seeking is about to dawn for him.

Yet for all his spiritual wandering during the next few years, for all his reading and digesting of new concepts and writing books on Taoism and Zen Buddhism, the hold and lure of Christian imagery and conceptual iconography keeps calling him back over and over again. When all else fails comprehension, he returns to the familiar. Even so, his subconscious mind is working on all he is learning, churning it over, integrating certain ideas, seeking for common ground with the already familiar.

For perhaps the first time in his monastic career, he was beginning to realize what his real work in this contemplative tradition was all about: "It would do no good to anyone if I just went around talking -- no matter how articulately -- in this condition. There is still so much to learn, so much deepening to be done, so much to surrender. . . . The best thing I can give to others is to liberate myself from the common delusions and be, for myself and for them, free. Then grace can work in and through me for everyone." He added the preceding journal entry in late June of 1968, just a little over five months before his untimely passing. And what is sad is that he was never to realize this accomplishment in his lifetime. And yet in the same breath, what was hopeful is that he realized this -- what he needed to accomplish -- before his passing, as he wrote in July of that same year: "I have to go my own way in terms of needs that to me are fundamental: need to live a life of prayer, need to liberate myself from my own 'cares' and 'unique' need for authentic monastic solitude (not mere privacy), and need for a real understanding and use of Asian insights in religion."

He arrived in the Orient in October of 1968, where he was to spent the better part of two months meeting with various Eastern religious, including an unprecedented three audiences with the Dalai Lama. His experience in the Orient was a much needed education for Merton as he began to reassess his own possibilities for his continuation in the contemplative life back home. Far from being indisputably drawn to the East, his roots were calling him back to the West. But it would not be the same there as it had been. There would of necessity need to be changes made in order to suit his new understanding of what he needed to accomplished. Ironically, he was never to return to Kentucky and the monastery at Gethsemani, but rather to end his days in Bangkok, accidentally electrocuted on December 10th, 1968. On that day he found peace from this life.