Will Self Books

This is an "expanded edition" of a collection of thoughtful, wholly original and thrilling essays published in the 1960's. Several additional and valuable pieces appear in this new edition.

Leslie Farber was a psychiatrist and a psychoanalyst (not, as the blurb on the back of the book says, a psychologist) with a private practice, professional affiliations, and a passion for thinking and writing about the ways of the psyche, culture, art and literature, and a variety of other concerns. In his life as in his practice he was nonconformist, original, thoughtful, deeply humane - and well-loved by many. He died of a heart condition in 1981. (Unmentioned in this book.)

His essays are unusual and wholly original - not just for the playful and deeply creative ways that he writes about psychic matters, but for his radical departure from the prevailing language and comparative abstruseness of most psychoanalytic writing of his time. It can be said that Farber began a trend (that Adam Phillips most of all, continues) of pleasurable and readable psychoanalytic essays that embrace literature, history, popular currents, and are intended to thrill with their elegance, their psychic playfulness (and rigor - at once) and their process - as well as for their conclusions.

Some of his writing appeared in the popular press (Harper's, Commentary, The New Republic, and others). There is a compelling playfulness to his method. Some of his pet themes are jealousy, envy, lust, sex, despair, suicide, lying and truth-telling, love and its attendant difficulties. Some titles of his essays: "I'm Sorry, Dear" - - on the expectations that the sexology movement engendered; "O Death, Where is Thy Sting-a-Ling?" - on death and dying; "He Said, She Said" - more on the life of couples. Henry Stack Sullivan, schizophrenia, will and anxiety - are additional subjects.

There are thirteen essays. To read them is to get a good picture of Farber's amazing mind and method. "Lying on the couch," first published in 1975, begins by noting that deliberate lying - as psychopathology or just bad form - has historically been ignored in the psychoanalytic literature. Freud, however, expelled a member of his inner circle for just this vice. Farber quotes the text of that pink slip, and then proceeds with a discussion on lying, on "dubious revelation," on the panoply of reasons, justification, and excuses for lying. It's a great read.

The big topic of 'will' (its predecessor is Victorian 'will power') was one of Farber's large concerns. Sexuality - its freight of complexities ("the failure of dialogue") and complications, as well as the transformational power of its full expression - are explored in several essays. "He Said, She Said" is one of many gems.

Of Farber's compelling style and substance, Adam Phillips has written: "Out of languages at odds with each other, if not actually at war with each other - the languages of Freud, of Sullivan, of Buber; of autobiography, of existentialism, of phenomenology, of a too-much-protested-against romanticism - Farber has found a way of being at once easily accessible to his readers, and surely but subtly unusually demanding of them." These essays, along with Robert Boyer's excellent Introduction and Anne Farber's Afterword (an essay that is also a tender remembrance) show us how he did it.

Farber's essays, which have inspired Adam Phillips's elliptical and allusive style, are the real thing: tough, poetic, realistic. Farber has that kind of American density, but it's matched by a more European fluency and erudition, and the result is a delight. This is rigorous thinking, effortlessly expressed (though not easily digested).

This book was compiled at the dawn of the Promise Keepers movement. Therefore it's well known "Seven Promises" are still tweleve promises, having not yet coalesced into it's present form. Each chapter comprises one of the twelve promises, and is subdivided into three to seven small articles by writers such as Bill McCartney, Wellington Boone, Charles Stanley, and Jerry Jenkins to name just a few. The promises cover all aspects of a Christian man's life as deemed important by the Promise Keepers. They include your relationships with your wife, children, God, church, brothers in Christ, neighbors, and world to again name just a few. The format of short articles, some only one page, allows for easy reading as part of a morning devotional time. Even though the book is approching it's tenth anniversary, its teachings and the advice offered within are still very applicable to the man seeking Christlike character.

chapter 1 what are promises/ /chapter 2 the promises you make to God/ /chapter 3 the promises you make to yourself/ /chapter 4 the promises you make to your wife/ /chapter 5 the promises you make to your family/ /chapter 6 the promises you make to your parents/ /chapter 7 the promided you make to your friends/ /chapter 8 the promises you make to worship and fellowship/ /chapter 9 the promises you make to your work/ /chapter 10 the promises you make to your neighbors and community/ /chapter 11 the promises you make to those in need/ /chapter 12 the promises you make to the future/chapter 13 practicing learned hopefulness

This is a really helpful book; I've read numerous self-help books, and this one is way above average. It speaks the truth, and it makes a lot of sense.

This is awonderful book. It speaks so many truths. It amazes me that it has not received greater attention. I have read Anthony Robbins, Wayne Dwyer and many other self-help authors that promise the sky. This book's claims are more modest but its message is, I think, more honest and enduring. The book's premise is that instead of forcing ourselves to "be something" we should learn to find out who we really are and educate ourselves to appreciate what we find. Parodoxically, this may be the real path to a joyful life that other authors claim is their destination. In short the book represents an excellent manifesto for the joys of self-appreciation and self-discovery.(Okay so that wasn't that short.)The author is very convincing in showing that there is usually a very good reason why we behave the way we do. I have never read a book that so effectively taught one how to be compassionate to oneself. Wow! I am convinced that we would live in better world if more people truly

grocked the book's message. I have never read a more reassuring, sensible and truthful book. The author, Lynne Bernfield must be an awesome therapist!

Written by Jessie Jamie Coleman, Where Will You Be in Two Years: A Two-Year Self-Discovery Journal is a consumable resource designed to help the user set goals and track his or her progress toward them. Virtually every page consists of two identical columns for a day of the year, asking the user to fill in the year number, and answers to the questions "What's good about me?" "Today was?" "I felt?" "I wish?" "I accomplished?" "Interesting events?" and "Anything else?". Through the course of the year, the user may fill in answers in the left-hand column on each page; then, at the start of the next year, the user may fill in the right-hand column and compare the progress and track record to where he or she was on that day last year. A very useful motivational and recordkeeping tool.

Reviewed by Nina Larson for Reader Views (6/07)

"Where Will You Be in Two Years" by Jessie Jamie Coleman is a great concept. It is a book of preprinted daily journal questions starting from "What's good about me?" and includes "I wish?" and "I felt?" with a little line space to write a few words or a short sentence. As someone who struggles to find time to journal, yet really likes and enjoys the insights that come from journaling, this is perfect for me. Ideally, I would fill out each page at the end of the day. Sometime I miss a day; that is why I recommend when you buy one for yourself that you buy another for a friend who can be a buddy on your journey. (Or vice versa!)

The format is also great for reflection. Each page contains the same questions for the same day for both years. This makes hunting down where you were last year a snap. And confirms your suspicions that you either have gotten somewhere this past year or that you are still in the same place, working on the same questions! Another good organizational setup is the questions at the beginning of each month about your goals in different parts of your life. Finally, her recommended reading list at the end of the book is only five books. And I also highly recommend at least two of those too!

A quick note is that "Where Will You Be in Two Years" starts in January and goes day-by-day to December. However this does not affect your ability to start tomorrow, no matter what part of the year. And just to make you curious about what else she has written, there are a couple of half-page "words for thoughts" spaced irregularly between months. Just in case you run out of things to say.

In summation, I am a very analytical and introspective person, but I think everyone could use "Where Will You Be in Two Years" which is short, to the point, and yet oh-so-helpful. Ms. Coleman had a great idea with this and I have already taken my own advice and bought one for a friend.

By Christa Bedwin, Editor (Canada)- [...]

As a result of my living in Canada - Amazon.ca, as opposed to the USA - [...], I had to contact Erin Ley, [...], to post this review. I am so grateful to have encountered this book. Though I do not have any personal experience with cancer, I gained more wonderful insights and wise, life-changing ideas through this book than I have through any other. In a meeting of professional editor colleagues, I recommended this as my year's best read, hands down, and I would encourage anybody to read this book. I believe it will help many families and friends through journeys with cancer, and I have already recommended it to several personal friends.
The world is richer for the wonderful person that is Erin Ley, and we are all fortunate that she wrote this book.

This is an inspirational story about a woman who takes charge of her own health and her life! Erin's story is moving, funny, inspirational and uplifting. Her conversational style is refreshing and easy to read. I recommend this book to anyone who needs a lift or is going through a difficult time with their health. What a great story of how a woman not only survives cancer but in the process finds a positive and healthy outlook on life!

Will You Dance asks us to face life's greatest challenge; to find the gift in whatever pain we enounter on our path through life. The book provides a profound and inspirational message to anyone facing change, loss and fear. Remarkably beautiful in prose and artistry, Will You Dance makes a beautiful gift for those facing challenges in life. There is no-one I can imagine that would not be touched by Dr. Childs-Oroz's words of wisdom.
Wendy Oliver-Pyatt, MD
Psychiatrist, and author: Fed Up! The Breakthrough Ten Step No-Diet Fitness Plan

"Will You Dance?" is a symbolic story that defines the life experiences of most of us at one time or another. In the form of shadowy figures it tells the story of how we move through an emotionally crippling event to a whole new world. The figures are Destiny, Change, Fear, Loss, Hope, Faith, Joy and they are presented in that order. Why that order? Because that is the normal order of events. First something happens to us that changes our life, which is Destiny. Along with such an event Change is always present. And, of course, along with Change comes Fear and Loss. Eventually, these are followed by Hope, Faith, and then finally Joy.

We enter life full of joy and involved in the dance of life. At some point a life change occurs that causes us to no longer dance the dance of life. If we follow through the whole process we are finally asked the important question by Joy.... Will you dance? This book is a highly recommended and enjoyable read written in an almost poetic style.

Joyce Jamerson knows a lot about grief. Unfortunately she was forced to learn it from the sudden death of her nineteen year old daughter. As difficult as that must have been, Joyce did not allow her immense sorrow to destroy her. What she gained from her struggle is shared in the book, Will You Wipe My Tears? Seeing the journey Joyce had to travel and discovering what was helpful to her and what was a hindrance can help us to behave more appropriately and usefully in the future. Joyce drew strength from the Lord to see her through and she fulfills the words of the apostle Paul in Second Corinthians chapter one as she comforts others with the comfort she received from our Lord.

Each chapter of the book contains biblical wisdom, personal experience, insight from poetry and other thought-provoking literature, as well as study questions. The reader can use the questions to meditate on her own, or use as discussion in a group.

I have not had to experience the loss of those closest to me. However, as a preacher's wife I have found myself in the midst of funeral preparations for others. Even though I teach Communication classes at a university, I am often at a loss for the right words to say to family members and close friends at funerals and in the months of adjustment that follow. So often the sentiments that come quickly to mind may do more harm than good. Joyce's chapter on what to say and do is so helpful.

This book can help you be better prepared to approach a period of grief whether from death, poor health, financial loss, divorce, or whatever circumstance turns your life upside down. It would make a good gift for others also. I recommend it without reservation.

Kathleen M. Trigg, preacher's wife and college professor, Georgia

Jamerson's book is phenomenal. I was flying home and figured I would try to get in a chapter or two before taking a much needed nap on the plane. When the plane landed, I had only two chapters left of the book and didn't want to leave. I wanted to finish.

Joyce provides great practical insight for those of us who are not so good with helping others as they mourn tragedy. I especially appreciated her very specific comments about things to say and things to avoid saying.

Frankly, I know I don't grieve very well, so I have had a hard time helping others. I feel far more equipped to be a real comfort and not one of Job's friends when trying to help others.

Thanks, Joyce, for your great work.
Edwin Crozier, evangelist, Franklin church of Christ

Wow this was a really refreshing book! If you don't wish to go through weeks of reading a several hundred page thick brick, this is the perfect choice for you. It gives you everything you need to know and some. Besides the knowledge I gained, I was left with an inspirational feeling and which led me to start writing my own book. Not an inspirational one, but a novel. Now three months later I have just finished it - 271 pages. I feel great and attribute "The 5 Steps" to getting me started.

In late winter, I purchased the ABCs of Self-Esteem by Will Horton. I read a few of the excerpts to my special education students (ages 10 to 15). They asked to be read to again from the ABCs. They used the ABCs for their weekly oral reading tests. I have found the book to be thoughtful, inspiring and motivational for myself and my students. Many interesting conversations occured in my classroom as a result of the introduction of the ABCs of Self-Esteem. I will be teaching eigtht grade next year. I look forward to using the book again and again.

This book is extremely well written, with a keen sense of understanding. Well argued, with thorough knowledge of relevant literature. Unlike so much philosophy a good read and easily comprehended. A major advance in the field.